Chapter 69: Super Heroes Means Super Problems
Of all the people in the restaurant, Aunt May had decided Ethan was the most normal one. She was just about to ask him about the job itself.
Before she could, Peter Parker piped up from beside her, eyes wide:
"Are you guys superheroes? That is so cool!"
From the second Peter had walked in, he'd clocked Wade's weird getup and Wanda's literally glowing red eyes and he hadn't been scared. He was a kid. Kids find glowing-eye-ladies awesome, not terrifying.
The whole table blinked at him. Nobody had expected the ten-year-old to lead with that.
Aunt May clapped a hand over Peter's mouth, mortified. "I'm so sorry — he's a kid, he doesn't mean anything, he just says things —"
Wade, of course, stood up from the table. Walked across the room. Posed dramatically in front of Peter.
"That's right, kid. Good eye on ya. You're looking at the strongest superhero in this establishment — Deadpool!"
Wade was thrilled. Finally. Recognition.
Ethan hauled Wade away by the collar and crouched down to Peter's level. "Kid, we're not superheroes. We're just regular people."
Ethan had no interest in being labeled a superhero. Being a superhero was a one-way ticket to Super Problems.
Peter looked up at this very plain-looking Ethan in deep confusion. How was this guy the boss? Surely the boss was the cool guy in the red suit.
Ethan, looking at this pre-bite kid Peter, gave him a small smile with something complicated behind it. "The superhero life isn't what people think it is, kid. Sometimes being a regular guy, living a regular life — that's the real win."
Peter's opinion of Ethan plummeted in real time.
Every little boy has a dream of being a superhero. This was not what he wanted to hear.
He puffed out his chest. "I'm not gonna live some boring normal life! I'm gonna be a superhero!"
Wanda watched this small, extremely earnest child with amusement and a dawning thought. Given everything with the parallel universes yesterday... is this kid this universe's Spider-Man?
Ethan shook his head internally. This kid was way too young, way too green. And this universe didn't seem to come with an Uncle Ben to sacrifice. Looked like Aunt May was going to be the one on the altar this time.
He glanced sideways at May with a flicker of genuine pity.
Wade picked up on something changing in the room and walked over, clapping Peter on the shoulder with a glint in his eye.
"Kid. I like you. Whenever you're ready, your uncle Wade will teach you how to be a real superhero."
Then — smooth as anything — Wade produced a bouquet of roses out of nowhere, turned to an already-mortified Aunt May, and dropped to one knee.
"Ms. Parker. Are you single by any chance? If not, no problem. Point is — if you're willing — together, you and I can raise this boy into the hero he was meant to be!"
Wade had been looking kind of handsome since the Horse Talisman had fixed his face. Aunt May, confronted with a proposal from the bouquet-wielding masked man, turned a delicate pink.
The second Wade said that, Peter — who had been worshipping Wade approximately thirty seconds ago — stepped bodily in front of Aunt May.
"Aunt May, we're leaving. These people are bad."
He grabbed her hand and started trying to pull her toward the door.
Ethan watched his brand-new waitress about to get talked out the front door by Wade, of all people.
He kicked Wade across the room and stepped forward. "Ma'am — the job comes with room and board!"
Then he yanked Marcus and John Wick — the two most normal-looking people in the restaurant — forward and pointed at them.
"These two are our tenants and our employees. Most of us here are regular people, like me. That one" — jerking a thumb at Wade — "was an incident. Isolated."
The words "room and board" stopped May mid-step. That was a genuinely attractive offer. The whole reason she was in Hell's Kitchen in the first place was she didn't have the money not to be.
Still — her expression was suspicious. "Room and board. For a waitress. That's a lot of benefits for that job."
She was asking herself, carefully: Does this man think I'm attractive? Is that what this is?
From the side, Wanda felt a small sharp twist of something she didn't want to examine.
She glanced down at herself, then back at May, and abruptly noticed the comparison.
Then she looked at Ethan, and for just a second, she was wondering what his angle actually was.
Ethan caught both looks — May's and Wanda's — and realized the sentence he'd just said had gone somewhere terrible.
He jumped in to walk it back.
"We legitimately need waitstaff. The people here have to go out a lot. We can't keep the place open alone."
"And it's just the standard deal for our people. Everyone here gets room and board. On top of that — you're a woman on your own with a kid. That's hard. I'm not that guy. I'm really not."
"I'm guessing you came to Hell's Kitchen for the school, right?"
May's face relaxed. She nodded. "Yes. Actually — yes. I heard a school is opening up here. That it's going to be free. I wanted to enroll Peter."
Ethan smiled. "I'm the one who started the school. So no worries on that end. It's right nearby — you'd be able to check in on him between shifts, easily."
May actually did a small double-take. He started the school?
"I accept." Any last trace of suspicion was gone. If Ethan had the money and standing to start a school, he could have any woman he wanted. He wasn't going to have ulterior motives about her.
Ethan turned to Pietro. "Take them upstairs, get them a room, walk them through the routine."
And off went Pietro, with May in tow, Peter suspicious at her hip, and Wade trailing behind still attempting to court her.
"Alright," Ethan clapped his hands, "we got sidetracked. While I'm gone, all of you — do your jobs. Seriously."
He went into his briefing.
An hour later, everything was handed off.
Ethan went upstairs to pack. The family filtered out of the restaurant one by one.
Wanda didn't.
She stayed where she was, watching Ethan move back and forth, her chest tight with a feeling she couldn't do anything productive with.
When Ethan came back down with his things, he saw her still standing there, and understood exactly what was going on in her head.
He walked over, rested a hand on her shoulder, and spoke gently.
"I'll be back soon. I promise. Hell's Kitchen is yours until then."
Wanda looked up at him. There was worry in her eyes, and something smaller and harder — I don't want you to go.
She knew this trip meant danger. She also knew he had to go.
She nodded without saying anything and just watched him.
Then a massive golden ring unfurled into existence behind him, swallowing the world around it.
Wanda watched, amazed, as Ethan stepped through — and disappeared.
☆☆☆
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