JAY'S POV —
The second we walk in together, the entire room goes silent.
Not dramatic silent.
Worse.
The kind where everyone looks at us for one long second too many because after YEARS of Sunday brunches, family vacations, company dinners, birthday parties, and watching Keifer and I argue like professionally trained enemies—
Nobody ever expected this.
Nobody.
And now here we are.
Married.
"Oh my God," Sam says first, staring at us like she's witnessing a glitch in the universe. "This is still so weird."
"THANK YOU," I say immediately.
"No," she points at us aggressively, "because yesterday you two were fighting over merger presentations and now you're legally bonded under God."
Kade actually laughs.
Serina looks emotional.
And Lola?
Lola looks devastatingly pleased with herself.
Which is terrifying because that woman definitely orchestrated this entire disaster spiritually.
"You look beautiful, Jay," Serina says softly, pulling me into a hug before stepping back to look at me again. "Married glow suits you."
I choke instantly.
"There's no glow."
"There is absolutely glow," Sam cuts in dramatically. "She literally looks moisturized emotionally."
"I hate this house."
"No you don't," Lola says knowingly from the couch.
Before I can respond, Uncle Kade looks toward Keifer and narrows his eyes suspiciously.
"And you," he says slowly, "why do YOU look happy?"
"I always look like this."
"That's a lie," Sam says immediately. "You usually look like you're seconds away from suing someone."
Keifer exhales through his nose while I very maturely look away to hide my smile.
Big mistake.
Because Serina notices that too.
"Ohhhh," she says softly.
My head snaps back. "No pleasee. Don't ohhhh me."
"You smiled."
"I did not."
"You literally did," Sam gasps. "Mom did you see that? She smiled at him."
"I was smiling at the furniture."
"The furniture isn't six foot three and emotionally repressed."
I nearly inhale oxygen wrong.
Beside me, Keifer mutters, "Emotionally repressed is insane."
"YOU ARE," Sam shoots back.
Lola is openly laughing now, shaking her head slowly like this is the greatest love story she's ever witnessed.
Which is crazy considering half our relationship history involves verbal violence.
Serina pulls us toward the dining room after that, still smiling to herself while muttering things like "finally" under her breath which frankly feels targeted.
And somehow lunch becomes even worse.
Because everyone keeps staring.
Not obviously.
Subtly.
Like they're trying to figure out how the hell THIS happened.
Kade catches Keifer pouring water into my glass before his own and literally pauses mid-bite.
Sam notices Keifer moving my chair slightly before I sit down and physically clutches her chest.
Lola watches me steal fries off Keifer's plate without thinking and whispers,
"See? Married instincts already."
I FREEZE.
Because the horrifying part?
I didn't even realize I did it.
Keifer looks down at the missing fries.
Then at me.
Then—completely calm—slides the entire plate closer.
The table loses their minds.
"Oh this is SICK," Sam cries dramatically. "He NEVER shares food."
"Sam," Keifer warns.
"No because this is actually insane," she continues. "Do you know what this means??"
"Please stop talking."
"He likes her."
"I've always liked her."
The words come out so casually that the entire table goes quiet.
Including me.
My head turns toward him slowly.
Keifer doesn't even notice what he said at first because he's still eating like nothing happened.
Then realization hits him half a second too late.
Sam's mouth falls open.
Kade smirks instantly.
Serina looks like she's about to ascend spiritually.
And Lola?
Lola looks one second away from crying again.
"You WHAT?" Sam whisper-screams.
Keifer finally looks up.
Directly at me.
Dangerously calm.
"I said," he replies smoothly, "I've always tolerated her."
"THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SAID," Sam yells.
I stare at him suspiciously while he takes another sip of water like a man who absolutely did not just expose himself in front of his entire family.
Asshole.
Then—because apparently God hates me—Kade leans back in his chair and says casually,
"So."
No.
No no no.
I know that tone.
"Who fell first?"
Why God Why!!!!!!!!!!
KEIFER'S POV
The second Dad asks the question, I already know this is going to become a disaster.
"So," he says casually, leaning back in his chair like he's discussing the weather instead of detonating a bomb in the middle of lunch, "who fell first?"
Silence.
Immediate.
Across from me, Sam looks ready to sell tickets to this conversation, Mom is pretending not to be interested while very obviously listening, Lola looks emotionally invested enough to cry, and Jay—
Jay looks one second away from climbing out the nearest window.
I should end it there or deflect or say something sarcastic and move on.
That's the smart thing to do.
Instead, I look at my wife..
My Jay Jay....
At the way she's sitting there trying to look unaffected while nervously twisting the ring on her finger without realizing it.
At the way she keeps acting like this marriage is still just paperwork while unconsciously fitting into my life like she's always belonged there.
And before I can stop myself—
"It was me," I say calmly.
The entire table freezes.
Jay's head snaps toward me so fast I almost respect it.
Sam actually chokes on water.
Mom's eyes widen.Dad looks delighted.
And Lola—
Lola looks devastatingly emotional.
"What?" Jay whisper-hisses beside me.
But I don't look at her yet because suddenly everyone's staring.
Waiting.
"How?" Sam asks immediately, looking personally attacked by the revelation.
I exhale softly, leaning back slightly and the worst part?
None of this feels difficult to say.
"It wasn't one moment," I admit quietly. "I think it just… happened slowly."
Jay is still staring at me like I've lost my mind.
I ignore it.
"Somewhere between years of watching her fight with people twice her size," I continue calmly, "and hearing her insult me creatively every Sunday brunch."
"That's romance to you?" Dad asks dryly.
"She keyed my car once," I add.
"I SAID I WAS SORRY," Jay whispers furiously beside me.
"You laughed while doing it."
"You were being arrogant."
"You scratched an Aston Martin."
"You survived."
Sam is fully gripping the table now. "Oh my God this is actually real."
"It's not real," Jay says instantly.
I finally turn toward her then.
And for one dangerous second, the entire room disappears because she looks flustered.
Actually flustered.
Eyes wide, breathing uneven, glaring at me like she doesn't know whether to kill me or panic first.
Cute.
Very cute.
"Keifer," she says through a tight smile, leaning closer like she's pretending affection while actually threatening violence, "what are you doing?"
Her voice is low enough that only I hear it.
I hold her gaze for a second too long before answering just as quietly,
"It's a lie, Jaybird."
The nickname makes her expression flicker.
"Keeps them off our backs," I murmur smoothly. "Just go with it."
And technically—That should be true.
This should just be strategy.
Performance.
Another carefully crafted part of the arrangement.
So why does my chest feel too tight when I say it?
Why does it feel wrong calling it a lie when every single word I said was true?
Jay narrows her eyes at me suspiciously, clearly trying to decide whether I'm manipulating the situation or genuinely insane.
Probably both.
Then Sam ruins everything again.
"WAIT," she gasps dramatically. "So you're telling me Keifer Watson—the emotionally unavailable corporate menace—fell FIRST?"
"I'm leaving," I mutter.
"No you're not," Mom says immediately, smiling into her coffee.
Dad looks directly at me, amused beyond belief. "This explains a lot actually."
"It explains nothing."
"Oh please," he says calmly. "You've been staring at her for years."
Jay goes still beside me and unfortunately—
So do I.
Because Dad says it so casually.
Like it's obvious.
Like everyone saw it except her.