Kaiyuan Year One, January 10th. Chang'an.
The festive atmosphere of the New Year had not yet dissipated in Chang'an. Lanterns still hung along Zhuque Avenue; the vendor selling candied hawthorns was still shouting at the street corner; children in new clothes ran back and forth through the alleys. On the windowsill of the sleeping quarters, the two lamps were still lit. The osmanthus tree in the Moon Palace and the rising sun stood side by side, never having gone out fromXiantian toKaiyuan.
The dental clinic was no longer in Chongren Ward. After my investiture as Empress, he had moved the clinic to a side hall adjacent to our sleeping quarters. Qingyuan said this was called "being close to the water gives one the first view of the moon." I said it was called "the Emperor is afraid he won't find anyone if his tooth hurts." Hearing this, he laughed.
He returned early from court today. When he came back, he hadn't even changed out of his ceremonial robes, walking directly into the clinic wearing his court attire. He had removed the twelve-tasseled crown, but the black upper garment and red lower skirt remained, as did the jade and gold belt. He stood there like a statue just descended from the court. Sunlight streamed through the window, falling upon him; the patterns on his black robe shifted between light and shadow, and the gemstones inlaid in his belt buckle flashed brilliantly. His hair was bound with a jade hairpin, with a few strands loose on his forehead, gilded by the morning light. His eyes were very bright—the kind of brightness that comes from being deeply interested in something and eager to learn it.
"Why so early today?"
"Nothing much happened at court." He sat on the examination couch, looking at me. "Qingyan, teach me that."
"That what?"
"That." He looked at me. "The language of Fulin."
I paused. "You want to learn the language of Fulin?"
"Yes." His expression was serious. "My Empress can speak it; if I cannot, it would be unseemly."
I suppressed a laugh. "The language of Fulin is very difficult to learn."
"I learn everything quickly." The corners of his mouth curled up; that arc was all too familiar to me. The first time he came to the clinic, he had smiled just like that.
I took a sheet ofxuan paper from the cabinet and spread it on the table. The clinic's table was not large, just enough for two people to sit side by side. He leaned over, his shoulder touching mine. He carried the scent of dragon's incense from the court, mixed with the morning breeze, faint and subtle. His fingers were long, his knuckles distinct, his fingertips bearing thin calluses. He picked up a brush, dipped it in ink, and waited for me to write.
"Then let's start with the simplest." I wrote a word on the paper.
Good morning.
Gu-de... Mao-ning?" He leaned closer, looking at the two words, his brow furrowing. "Why do the people of Fulin greet 'cats' in the morning?"
I paused, then burst out laughing. "Not 'cat'. It'smorning. It means 'early morning'."
"Then what is 'cat'?"
"'Cat' iscat."
"Then why say 'Good Cat' in the morning?"
"Not 'Good Cat'. It's 'Good Morning'.Good morning."
Gu-de... Mao... Ning." He pronounced it syllable by syllable, each character heavily enunciated. His lips pursed, then opened; he looked much like he did when making decisions in court—very serious, very focused, desperate to know the answer. But his tongue was not quite obedient; every time he reached "ning", the tip of his tongue would press against his palate, producing a heavy "Ning" sound.
"No.Good morning. Read it together.Good morning."
Gu-de Mao-ning."
Good morning."
Gu-de Mao-ning."
His brow furrowed even deeper. He put down the brush and looked at me. "Is there something wrong with my tongue?"
"Your tongue is fine."
"Then look." He stuck out his tongue.
I leaned in to examine it. The tip was slightly red, probably scalded by hot porridge that morning. The coating was normal; no teeth marks, no ulcers. His tongue was beautiful—not artificially so, but naturally, healthily, flexibly. In Vancouver, I had seen many tongues. Patients' tongues, some white, some yellow, some with teeth marks, some with ulcers. His tongue was the most beautiful I had ever seen. But I couldn't say that.
"Your tongue is very good. It's a pronunciation issue." I pulled back slightly. "Follow me.Good morning."
Gu-de... Ning?"
"Yes!Gu-de Ning!"
He nodded satisfactorily. Gu-de Ning. I've got it."
"There's something even simpler."
"Even simpler?"
"Yes." I wrote another word on the paper.
Hello.
Ha-lou?"
"Yes!Hello!"
Ha-lou." He recited it once, nodding. "This is simple. Do the people of Fulin say 'Ha-lou' when they meet?"
"Yes. Just like we say 'Have you eaten?'."
Ha-lou. Qingyan,Ha-lou."
Ha-lou, Longji."
He laughed. That smile was triumphant, like a child who had just learned a new word. His eyes curved, fine lines appearing at the corners. Morning light fell on his face, illuminating his smile brightly.
"There's something even, even simpler."
"Even, even simpler?"
"Yes." I wrote another word.
Yes.
Ye-si?"
Yes."
Ye-si."
Yes."
Ye... Si."
"Too fast.Yes."
Ye... Zi."
"Yes!Yes!"
He leaned back in his chair, satisfied. Ye-si. I've got it.Gu-de Ning,Ha-lou,Ye-si. I know three now."
"Do you know which word the people of Fulin say the most?"
"What?"
I wrote a word on the paper.
No.
Nuo?"
No."
Nuo."
No. Don't open your mouth too wide.No."
Nuo."
No."
Nuo."
"Your tongue is too stiff. It needs to be softer.No—"
Nuo." He frowned, then suddenly looked at me. "Where is my tongue stiff? You just said my tongue was very good."
"A good tongue and a soft tongue are two different things."
"Then feel it." He stuck out his tongue, waiting for me to touch it.
I did not touch it. I looked at him; he looked at me. Sunlight streamed through the window, falling on his face.
"Follow me." I opened my mouth wide. No—"
Nuo—"
No—"
Nuo—" He opened his mouth and finally pronounced it correctly.
"Yes! That's it!"
He laughed. Ye-si! I've got it!"
Advanced Level
"Do you want to learn a longer one?"
"A longer one?"
"Yes." I wrote a sentence on the paper.
How are you?
Hao A-You?" He recited it, frowning. "Why do the people of Fulin ask 'Hao A-You'?"
"Not 'Hao A-You'. It'sHow are you. It means 'How do you do?'."
Hao A-You."
How are you."
Hao A-You."
"Drop the 'Hao'.How are you."
Hao A-You."
How."
Hao."
How."
Hao... Wu?"
"Yes!How!"
Hao-wu."
How are you."
Hao-wu A-You."
How are you."
Hao-wu A-You." He finished reciting and looked at me. "Did I say it right?"
I suppressed a laugh. "Yes. You learn very quickly."
"Of course." He leaned back in his chair. "I learn everything quickly."
"Do you know how the people of Fulin respond to 'How are you'?"
"How do they respond?"
I wrote another sentence on the paper.
I am fine, thank you. And you?
Ai An Fan, San Ke You. An De You?" He recited it, his whole face scrunching up. "What is this?"
"It means—I am very well, thank you. And you?"
"'San Ke You' means thank you?"
"Yes."
"And 'An De You'?"
"And you."
He was silent for a moment. "The people of Fulin are so verbose. 'Hao A-You' takes four characters; 'Ai An Fan San Ke You An De You' takes ten characters. We say 'Have you eaten?', three characters. Say 'Eaten', two characters. Say 'Mm', one character."
"The people of Fulin are indeed verbose. But their country is also very large."
"How large?"
"Very large. As far as from Chang'an to Luoyang. No, even farther than that."
He nodded. "Then I will learn. I want the people of Fulin to know that the Son of Heaven of the Great Tang can speak their language."
"There is one more word you must learn."
"What?"
I wrote a word on the paper.
China.
Chai Na?" He recited it. "What is this?"
"It means the Great Tang."
"The Great Tang is called 'Chai Na'?"
"Yes. The people of Fulin call the Great TangChina."
He recited it once. Chai Na. Doesn't sound good. 'Great Tang' sounds much better. 'Chai Na' sounds like 'tearing things apart' chai)."
"There is another word you must learn too."
"What?"
I wrote another word.
Emperor.
En Pi Ruo?" He frowned. "What is this?"
"It means Emperor."
"The Emperor is called 'En Pi Ruo'?"
"Yes. The people of Fulin call the EmperorEmperor."
He recited it. En Pi Ruo. Doesn't sound good. 'Emperor' Huangdi) sounds much better. 'En Pi Ruo' sounds like humming ('en') and then draping something over oneself ('pi ruo')."
I couldn't help but laugh. "Your associative ability is too strong."
"What is 'associative ability'?"
"It means—seeing a word and thinking of something else."
"Then my associative ability is very strong?"
"Very strong."
He nodded satisfactorily. "Then I'll learn one more."
"What do you want to learn?"
He thought for a moment. "How do you say 'I am the Son of Heaven'?"
I wrote a sentence on the paper.
I am the Emperor.
Ai An Ze En Pi Ruo." He recited it, frowning. "Too long. Is there a shorter one?"
"Yes." I wrote another sentence.
I am the Son of Heaven.
Ai An Ze Sang Oh Fu Hei Wen." He finished reciting, his face scrunched up again. "The people of Fulin speak so tiredly. To say one sentence requires three breaths."
"You don't want to learn anymore?"
"I do." He looked at me. "But I want to learn a short one."
"How short?"
"As short as 'Ye-si'."
I thought for a moment, then wrote a word on the paper.
Love.
La Fu?" He recited it. "What is this?"
"Love."
He froze. He looked at that word on the paper for a long time. The wind blew in through the window, rustling thexuan paper on the table. The lamp shaped like the osmanthus tree in the Moon Palace swayed gently in the breeze, casting shifting shadows of the tree on his face.
"Love is called 'La Fu'?"
"Yes."
La Fu." He recited it, his voice very soft. La Fu. Qingyan,La Fu."
"Longji—"
"I've got it." He folded that sheet of paper and tucked it into his sleeve. La Fu. I have remembered it."
After Class
That night, he did not return to the Imperial Study to review memorials. He stayed in the sleeping quarters, eatingtangyuan (glutinous rice balls) with me. Qingyuan had cooked them and sent them over—sesame filling, white and plump, floating in the bowl. He ate one, then suddenly said, "Qingyan, how do you say 'tangyuan' in the language of Fulin?"
"Tangyuan?"
"Yes."
I thought for a moment. "I don't know. The people of Fulin do not eat tangyuan."
"Then what do they eat?"
"Bread. And olives. And wine."
"Bread?" He frowned. "What does it taste like?"
"Hard. Dry. Not as delicious as tangyuan."
He nodded. "Then I will stick to eating tangyuan."
He ate another one. "Qingyan, how do the people of Fulin say 'I love you'?"
The spoon in my hand stopped in mid-air.
"Longji—"
"Didn't you say 'La Fu' means love? Then how do you say 'I'?"
I."
"And 'you'?"
You."
"Then how do you say 'I love you'?"
I looked at him. Under the candlelight, his eyes were very bright. The lamp shaped like the rising sun on the windowsill swayed gently in the breeze; the candlelight reflected in his pupils like two tiny stars.
I love you."
Ai La Fu You." He recited it once, nodding. "I have remembered it."
"Longji—"
"Qingyan." He looked at me. Ai La Fu You."
My face burned. "Your pronunciation is not quite standard."
"Then how do you say it?"
I love you."
Ai La Fu You."
I love you."
Ai... La Fu... You."
"Yes! Just like that."
He laughed. "I've got it."
He lowered his head and continued eating the tangyuan. I sat opposite him, my face so hot I could fry an egg on it.
"Longji."
"Mm?"
"Do you know what I love you too' means?"
"What does it mean?"
"'Me too'."
He raised his head and looked at me. Under the candlelight, his eyes were very bright. A bit of sesame filling still clung to the corner of his mouth, black and small. He didn't know it was there.
"Then I will say it again." He cleared his throat and licked the sesame filling from the corner of his mouth. Ai La Fu You."
"Longji—"
"Your turn."
I looked at him. The corners of his mouth were upturned, his eyes bright. Just like the first time he came to the clinic. Just like every moonlit night he walked me back. Just like when he said "Only this one person" in the Imperial Ancestral Temple.
I love you too," I said.
He laughed. That smile was light, faint, but his eyes were bright. He reached out and wiped the sesame filling from the corner of my mouth. His fingers were very hot, his fingertips bearing thin calluses.
"Qingyan."
"Mm?"
"From now on, every day, I will say this sentence to you."
"Every day?"
"Every day."
"Okay."
He lowered his head and continued eating the tangyuan. I sat opposite him, watching him. On the windowsill, the two lamps were still lit. The osmanthus tree in the Moon Palace and the rising sun. FromXiantian toKaiyuan, they had never gone out. In the clinic, the steam from the tangyuan rose curling into the candlelight. He finished the bowl of tangyuan and pushed the bowl toward me.
"Qingyan, another bowl."
"You've already eaten three bowls."
"I am happy." He looked at me. "Today I learned the language of Fulin. I learned three words."
"How many did you actually learn?"
Gu-de Ning,Ha-lou,Ye-si,Nuo,Hao A-You,Ai An Fan San Ke You An De You,Chai Na,En Pi Ruo,Ai An Ze En Pi Ruo,Ai An Ze Sang Oh Fu Hei Wen,La Fu,Ai La Fu You." He counted them one by one, then looked at me. "I learned thirteen."
"Your memory is truly excellent."
"Of course." The corners of his mouth curled up. "I learn everything quickly."
"Will we learn again tomorrow?"
"Yes." He looked at me. "What will we learn tomorrow?"
"What do you want to learn?"
He thought for a moment. "I want to learn—how to say 'The Empress is mine'."
I paused. "Longji—"
"What? Can't I say it?"
"It's not that you can't. It's just—" I sighed, picked up the brush, and wrote a sentence on the paper.
The Empress is mine.
Ze En Pi Ruo Si Ai Si Man?" He recited it. "Too long."
"The language of Fulin is just long."
"Then I won't learn this sentence." He took the paper, folded it, and tucked it into his sleeve. "I'll learn another one."
"Which one?"
"'I am the Emperor'." He looked at me. "How do you say that?"
I wrote a sentence on the paper.
I am the Emperor.
Ai An Ze En Pi Ruo." He recited it. "I've got it. Then what about 'Empress'?"
Empress."
En Pi Ruo Si?"
Empress."
En Pi Ruo Si." He nodded. "Then how do you say 'I am the Emperor, the Empress is mine'?"
I wrote a sentence.
I am the Emperor. The Empress is mine.
He looked at it, frowning. "Too long. I won't learn this. I'll learn a short one."
"How short?"
"As short as 'La Fu'."
I sighed. "There isn't one that short."
"There is." He looked at me. "I will teach you. Two characters."
"What?"
"Mine." Wo De)
I froze.
He laughed. That smile was triumphant. Like a child who had just learned a new word. But the words he spoke were not something a child would say.
"'Mine'. Two characters. Very short." He stood up and walked to the bed. "Qingyan, my Empress. Mine. Remembered?"
I looked at him. Moonlight streamed through the window, falling on him, outlining his figure with a golden edge. His eyes were very bright. Brighter than the moonlight. Brighter than the lamps of Chang'an. Brighter than the era nameKaiyuan.
"Remembered," I said.
He laughed. Gu-de Nai."
"It'sGood night."
Gu-de Nai."
Good night."
Gu-de... Nai."
"Yes.Good night."
Gu-de Nai, Qingyan."
Good night, Longji."
He lay down. He reached out and took my hand. His palm was warm. As warm as the first time he came to the clinic. As warm as every moonlit night he walked me back. He closed his eyes, and his breathing gradually steadied.
I watched him. On the windowsill, the two lamps were still lit. The osmanthus tree in the Moon Palace and the rising sun. FromXiantian toKaiyuan, they had never gone out.
In the clinic, thexuan paper was still spread on the table. It was covered in English words.Good morning.Hello.Yes.No.How are you.I am fine, thank you. And you.China.Emperor.I am the Emperor.I am the Son of Heaven.Love.I love you.The Empress is mine.
I picked up the sheet of paper with I love you" written on it and looked at it for a long time. His handwriting was ugly. Crooked and twisted, like earthworms crawling on the paper. But when he recited it, his voice sounded very beautiful.
I love you too," I said. Speaking to myself.
He was asleep. His hand still held mine, not letting go.
(End of Chapter 23)