Ch 228
"Even if I did something wrong, it was my own mistake, is it really something I need to apologize to you guys for? Am I the lowest rank here? Don't I have the right to do whatever I want with that one thing?"
"...How could you expect me to see that and not say anything? Am I not allowed to say anything even as your subordinate?"
Gyeongwon looked at me and argued as if protesting.
"Why are you acting like this today, Prez? Aren't I your friend?"
"Is that how a close friend behaves?"
"Of course! Pointing out when something is wrong is what friends do, what else would it be? Am I supposed to just sit there and do nothing after seeing that?"
"Ugh, this b*stard is really...."
Left speechless, I let out a dry laugh and looked around at the other members.
"You're so full of yourself. Ahn moment.
Before I knew it, my eyes had turned red on their own.
"Not a single one of you ever asked if i was okay when things were hard, yet you act like you've been looking out for me all along and come at me with accusations, you f*cking dogs..."
Tears welled up in my eyes as I spat out Curses.
The members watched me with stiff
expressions.
"I just bought it because I wanted to. I bought it because I wanted it. And you're f*cking blaming me like this Over that? Huh?"
"....Hey. Watch your mouth."
Jinhee, having had enough, stepped forward in a low voice.
"We worry about you a lot. Don't talk recklessly when you don't know anything."
"Don't give me that sh*t. If I didn't feel it, then it never happened, you f*cking as"hole. You never actually did anything, so stop pretending."
"Stop swearing. I warned you."
"What, you gonna hit me?"
I looked around at the members.
"F*cking hell, I was the one who went all the way down to Busan to get the money, I catch the ghost stories, I resolve the situation ss no one gets a scratch. And I run the club on top of that, huh? When I've done all this,
shouldn't you guys be looking out for me, taking care of me a little...? After
everything I've done for you?"
"...."
"But you can't even do that one thing? You can't even do that, but now you're trying to lecture me, telling me to fix this or do that better? So if you were in my position, would you have been able to do as much as I did? Huh?"
"Prez, that-"
"Oi, Ahn Gyeongwon, answer me. If you were in my position, could you have done as much as I did?"
"...."
"You couldn't, could you? But now you're blaming me? For doing something a little extravagant?"
From Gyeongwon to Sunah, everyone
avoided my gaze with sullen expressions.
I raised my voice completely and shouted at the club members.
"There's a difference between me being grateful for what you guys did in other timelines, and you feeling proud and judging me for something you never even did!"
".....!"
Shocked expressions passed through the club members.
It seemed they didn't expect me to go this far.
"..You're being really harsh."
Along with Jinhee, who muttered quietly, Gyeongwon also lowered his head and let out a sigh.
"..Hoo."
"Why? Why are you sighing?"
"....I just don't understand why the conversation is going this way."
"Then? How should it have gone?"
"..We were just giving our opinions, so you wouldn't do that kind of thing in the future. We point out areas for improvement, suggesting how things will go better. And Prez should just accept it, like, okay, I got it."
"...."
"It would have ended if you had just done that. I don't understand why this is taking such an uncomfortable turn.I also don't understand what you're getting so angry about."
"This b*stard... this idiot who refuses to
listen.."
My face flushed red as I clenched my fists tightly.
"You weren't listening to a single word I said. SO in the end, you're saying I was Wrong all along, aren't you...?"
"Do you really have to take it that way? Fine, I get it. If that's what Prez wants, I'll do it that way."
Gyeongwon hardened his brow as if to show that he was now angry too and glared at me.
"Yes. I think you wasted the points on
something useless this time. I don't think you should have done this. I think the points that could have been saved and gone to where they were more needed just flew away into thin air."
"Ah."
"Is that enough? Are you satisfied now, Prez?"
"No, you're the one who's satisfied. You've probably beern barely holding back throughout this whole CA session just waiting to say that."
"Why are you acting like this, seriously!?"
In the end, Gyeongwon exploded and yelled at me.
"You weren't like this before! Why are you suddenly acting like this!"
"Hey, you son of a b*tch. You f*cking b*stard. You wanna keep running your mouth? What do you mean 'I wasn't like this before'? It's because you don't give a single sh*t that you have no idea how hard things have been for me and you're acting like a jerk. You worthless piece of sh*t-"
I lunged at Gyeongwon, grabbed him by the collar, and tumbled across the floor with a loud crash.
Thud, crash, bang-!
The desk and chair crashed against us and fell over with a loud noise, and Sunah screamed.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
"You f*cking b*stard, you selfish piece of sh*t. Do you even know, you f*ck? How much stress I'm under? Huh? You don't know a damn thing, you f*cker!!"
"What's Wrong with you, seriously! Why are you acting like this!"
"You clueless b*stard, don't you dare run your mouth. If you don't like how I do things, then you do it. You be the President!!"
Thud- Smack-
"Ah, break it up! Break it up!"
"Hey, stop it already! What's wrong with you both today!"
The startled Jinhee and the other members came over to pull us apart, and even Teacher Jang Hwaeun came and slapped me on the back as I was fighting with Gyeongwon.
"Stop it! Break it up, both of you! Both of you!!"
"Do you have any idea how hard my life is? If you had any common sense, do you think a person who died multiple times by now would be okay? But instead of even trying to help, you all gang up on me and tell me to
apologize just because you don't like this one thing? Did it bother you that much that I did this? Then you f*cking earn the points yourselves!!!!!!"
"Get away from me! I'm warning you! Get away from me!!"
"Earn them yourselves!! If it bothers you so much that I'm spending them, then you earn them yourselves!!"
Thud- Thud-
"Kyaaah!"
"Grab them! Pull them apart so they stop!"
"Drag them away! Drag them away!"
In the end, Teacher Jang Hwaeun stepped in between us, and only after the members grabbed us and pulled us apart from both sides were we dragged away.
Gyeongwon was panting heavily, held back by Dukhun, while I was gasping for breath while restrained by Jinhee.
And off to the side were Hayoon, staring with a deadpan expression, and Sunah was wearing a frightened look.
I gasped for breath and let out a bitter smile.
"Give your opinion, fix this and that? Hey, want me to tell you what would actually help? Huh?"
"Huff, huff.."
"You have f*cking five points of understanding left. Telling me about that right now would be way more helpful, so why aren't you saying that? You don't plan on telling me, do you? Isn't it because it's your personal business?"
"Hicc, hicc..."
"So that's why I didn't ask any further, you b*stard. It's not just you, I don't point that kind of thing out to anyone, do I? Whether it's advice or suggestions, I could say something, but I never do with you guys, do I? I've never done that."
"..Haa, haa."
Gyeongwon touched his split, bleeding lip as he gasped for breath.
I too, still held back by Jinhee, breathed heavily and glared at the other members with a mocking look.
"But why are you all treating me like this? When I went as far as even covering the money and practically begged you to let me sit you down, shouldn't you have been the ones looking out for me instead? Huh?"
"I'm so stressed out, don't you know
that I lied and said I was sick this week
and missed a day of school? Don't you
know?"
"That's enough! Stop now!"
Teacher Jang Hwaeun, who had been
listening intently, suddenly shouted
and stretched out both hands.
"You shameless b*stards... For f*ck's
sake, even kids have their limits."
"That's enough! Stop it, both of you! Quiet!"
"These sons of b*tches... Haah, haah.....".
"Stop it, Joon. Quiet. I'll take care of this now. Just stop."
"..."
"Please stop. Stop. I'm sorry, stop."
Teacher Jang Hwaeun, who started with a firm tone but by the end was pleading with me.
Only then did I shut my mouth.
"....."
"....."
Teacher Jang Hwaeun, who was standing between us, remained there until we calmed down.
Once a quiet atmosphere was restored, she pursed her lips with a stern expression.
"I'm going to ask everyone just one thing first. Who among you asked Joon first this week if he was having a hard time?"
"...."
"Whether it was through KakaoTalk, a call, or something said in passing. Anything at all."
A moment of silence passed.
No one raised their hand.
The Teacher let out a small sigh, then
squeezed her eyes shut before opening them again.
"...It doesn't have to be first. Even during a conversation, was there anyone who asked Joon if he was okay lately, if he was having a hard time?"
"...."
"...No one?"
No one raised their hand.
The Teacher asked quietly again.
"Then not this week. What about this month?"
"...."
"No one? Then from the start of the semester up until now, including this month?"
"...."
"I mean from the day you first met until today. Is there no one? Anyone who said something like that?"
... No one answered.
Everyone just tuned their head away quietly.
In the end, the Teacher let out a deep sigh.
"...So there was no one."
"...."
"That's enough. Let them go now."
Dukhun and Jinhee released their grips, while Gyeongwon and I stood there awkwardly in our places.
Soon, Teacher Jang Hwaeun looked at
me with a sorrowful expression, then slowly approached me and suddenly took my hand.
"Joon, I'm sorry. For not realizing how
much you've been struggling until now."
"...."
"The Teacher was wrong. I should have
taken better care of you and asked you first."
"I'm sorry.
I froze for a moment, then turned my head away.
But the teacher kept looking at me with that same sad expression.
She squeezed my hand even tighter.
"..It was really hard, wasn't it? Having to keep fighting a battle no one recognized... and no one comforted you..... "
"...."
"I apologize on behalf of everyone. We were wrong. We're sorry."
"...."
"Will you forgive your teacher now...?"
Teacher Jang Hwaeun gripped my hand even tighter.
Her warm body temperature seeped through between our clasped hands.
It felt as if she were gently but firmly holding my heart as well.
The Teacher kept looking at me with such earnest eyes.
I had no choice but to keep my head turned away.
After a moment, I slowly opened my mouth.
"...What do you have to be sorry for, Teacher?"
"No, I was wrong. I'm sorry."
"...."
"I'm sorry for not realizing how much you were struggling. I'm sorry for not asking you. It must have been hard, being alone, wasn't it?"
"..Will you forgive me, your teacher?"
Teacher Jang Hwaeun kept trying to meet my gaze with that same sad expression.
With my head turned away, I felt an
indescribable emotion.
The warmth of an adult's body temperature, felt through our clasped hands.
Without any intention of letting go, she held my hand tightly, our fingers entwined.
After hesitating for a moment with my head turned away, I finally nodded.
"...Thank you, Joon."
The Teacher, holding my hand tighter and shaking it a few times, then called the other members as well.
"Kids, come here and apologize too."
"...."
"Hurry up."
The members hesitated.
The Teacher shook my hand and spoke
to the members.
"Joon is right. You haven't actually died yet. You haven't even been injured. The dificult journey Joon went through...To be honest, from your perspective, there were many instances where you simply heard that such things had happened, when you had never
actually experienced them yourself."
"...."
"And yet, you were the first to snatch the money and benefits he brought, but not a single one of you bothered to ask if Joon, who must have suffered the most, was okay. Isn't that right?"
"...."
"Given that situation, you shouldn't be judging whether what Joon did was right or wrong. Joon is not someone who should be judged by you. Rather, he's the one here who puts in more effort than anyone else."
"...."
"Don't be so arrogant as to think that you were just giving advice as a friend or doing what needed to be done. Would you give me advice like that? Would you try to teach your teacher something? That's not how it works."
The club members, who had been listening in silence, looked increasingly embarrassed and turned their heads away.
The Teacher held my hand tighter and gently admonished them.
"That isn't our role. As Joon said, if there's someone who can do better, let them take over. Joon is the most capable one here. Even if you don't bother pointing it out, he probably already knows that well enough. He knows what choices he made and what
he will do next. So there's no reason for you to step in and try to fix Joon. And besides, Joon himself puts up with a lot of your behavior, yet he never criticizes you about it. Isn't that right?"
"....."
A few of them silently nodded.
The club members' expressions grow
increasingly embarrassed.
The Teacher took my hand again and shook it gently, as if soothing a child.
"So let's agree not to judge Joon either Come on, everyone, make a promise with your teacher. From now on, never criticize or comment on what Joon does. Instead, just support him unconditionally." she continues "To always support and encourage Joon, to help him so that he can see this path through to the end... so that he doesn't give up. That's our role. Got it?"
The members awkwardly averted their eyes.
The Teacher shook my hand again and called out to them.
"Come here and apologize, all of you. Hurry up."
At those words, Sunah, who had been
watching the situation, ran to me first.
And hurriedly, she blurted out her words in front of me.
"-Joon, I'm sorry, for not asking you first....."
"...."
"I, actually, I was really worried... but I never asked, I'm sorry.. It must have been hard, right? I'm sorry...."
I quietly turned my head and closed my eyes.
I couldn't cry there.
I felt something welling up, but crying was really not an option.
Worrying about this in this situation was one thing, but if I cried there, it would truly be a dark chapter in my history.
Next to approach was Jinhee.
She looked elsewhere for a moment, then blurted out.
"....Hey, I'm sorry."
"...".
"I was Wrong."
After a moment, she tossed out another
remark.
"Let it go."
"Hey!"
At those words, Teacher Jang Hwaeun
slapped Jinhee on the arm.
Then she turned to me and spoke gently.
"No, Joon. You don't have to let it go."
"Instead, if you're stressed from outside, take it out on me and the kids. Get angry, scream. You can even hit them behind the Teacher's back. So if something's bothering you, just act however you want. We'll take it all."
"No, that's too much..."
I forced out the words, holding back the lump in my throat.
Soon after, Dukhun and Hayoon also came over and each said a word to me.
Dukhun wore a scared expression, while Hayoon had an unreadable look on her face.
"...I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"..."
"I just wasn't really thinking, you know.."
"Sorry, Joon. I'l pay more attention."
I kept my head turned and didn't say
anything.
Soon, Gyeongwon stood in front of me
as well.
"....."
"....."
The guy, with his ears flushed red, just kept his head down.
I was just too embarrassed to accept an apology and wanted to end it right there, but Gyeongwon, who had been hesitating, had already opened his mouth.
"...Prez. Just...."
"it's just.. I'm naturally a bit clueless....."
"I'm clueless, naturally... I'm sorry, Club Prez..."
"..hoo."
Everyone apologized to me.
Only then did I let out a deep sigh and look up at the ceiling.
I remained like that for a long while, silently staring upward.
The bell rang, signaling the end of the
last class of Friday.
I had nothing to say, so I just sighed.
Then suddenly, Teacher Jang Hwaeun
interrupted.
"Alright, so from now on, we're going to do it that way, okay? we're going to be supporting each other,unconditionally comforting, encouraging, and cheering for Joon! And absolutely never blame Joon for what happened in the past!"
"Yes."
"Yes~"
The members answered with awkward expressions.
I couldn't bring myself to meet their eyes and just stayed still.
Now that my anger had subsided, I felt a bit bad, like I had taken my anger out on the wrong people and done something strange.
But this was exactly the limit of what I could handle.
As someone who had never been in a position of authority from the start, I had hoped they would look out for me first, rather than me dragging them along.
'At least in terms of mental well-being.'
For someone like me, who could feel safe neither at home nor at school, every space was a source of stress.
"Let's do that..."
"I'll do that, Joon...."
The club members huddled together, their heads nodding in agreement.
Having nothing more to say, I just stared at the ceiling for a while before speaking to them.
"...Let's go down now. For the closing
ceremony."
"Wait! We went through the trouble of buying this, so we need to check the quality before leaving!"
Teacher Jang Hwaeun smiled, still holding my hand.
Then she picked up the remote and turned on the TV.
Zzt- zzt-
"Ah~ Is it because I didn't connect the other cable? Only a static screen is showing? Gyeongwon?"
"Yes, Teacher. Here, let me try the Screen saver function once..."
Gyeongwon adjusted his glasses and hurriedly opened the manual to show it.
"This is a built-in function, so it works even without connecting the cable. I think it should work now..."
"Uh-huh, turn it on! What should I do?"
"Here-"
Gyeongwon fiddled with the remote, trying various things together.
The other club members also surrounded the TV, putting on expressions of deliberate interest.
Perhaps out of consideration, no one looked at me.
I awkwardly looked around and said.
"..Let's just check the picture quality later and go down for the closing ceremony now. They'll be waiting for us in the classroom."
"Ah, it's working! Or maybe not?"
The Teacher smiled and linked arms with me to keep me from leaving.
The other members also seem to have no intention of going down, deliberately putting on expressions of interest on the TV.
Even when I glanced at them, they deliberately pretended not to notice.
Soon after Gyeongwon finished installing it, the pictures from the screen saver originally built into the TV appeared on screen.
Nature landscapes, paintings by famous artists, and cityscapes unfolded on the 4K OLED.
"Wow, amazing!"
"Wow, this is awesome! What is this?"
"Oh my god! Doesn't it look like a picture frame, not a TV?"
"Th-the picture quality is insane."
"Good thing we bought the expensive One!"
The club members praised the TV even louder, as if deliberately trying to comfort me.
Amidst it all, I smiled with a wry expression.
"Good thing it's an expensive one!"
"Wow, seriously, this just feels like real
paper. Anyone who didn't know would
be fooled if they saw it."
"Wow... and it's thinner than my
phone....."
"Oh, hang on. Now that I'm looking at
this again, it's a smart TV concept, so
you don't need a cable. In this state, just connect to Wi-Fi and you can use all the functions right away."
"Oh my, really? Hurry up and do it, Gyeongwon! I'll tell you the school Wi-Fi password!"
"Yes, just a moment. Here....."
I stood there awkwardly among them and muttered again.
"..Why bother doing this right now-"
"'Ah, it's popping up, it's popping up!"
"Hey, f*ck, just play YouTube! With the
highest quality!"
"Just a moment. I'm playing it now. In 4K."
"Wow!"
"Wow!"
"Oh, oh my goodness..."
"Wow~ that's seriously insane!"
"This is crazy..."
"Joo, Joon. I think you bought a good thing...."
"Oh my-! The picture quality is really
something-! You totally made a good purchase, Joon!"
"You b*stard! You did a good job!"
"You picked a decent one, huh?"
"As expected of our president!"
Ah, damn..
I just stared down at the floor, feeling my hands and feet curl up in
embarrassment.
The tension had definitely loosened up.
There was only the aftermath of overwhelming awkwardness that followed.
"As expected, it's different since Prez picked it!"
"Joon, you did well... I think you made a
good choice.."
"You rascal~! I was counting on you~!"
"Joon is the best!"
"Ahaha...."