Act 3, Scene 6
I lived a harmless life. That's all I can really say about myself. I was a little rambunctious when growing up, but I couldn't keep up with Su-kun for very long, and so long before elementary school ended, I wound up falling into the role of a bookish nerd.
Years passed on, and life remained the same. Friends drifted in and out, and Mom and Dad remained the same. There was never a single major dramatic moment in my life, though I wished for it briefly in middle school - by the time I reached high school, I had surrendered that idea. I was content as a side-character.
Well, there was one little way in which I exceeded my expectations of myself - I got a girlfriend! Me, Okuba Haruto, the quiet library committee member! I asked Riko-chan, and she said yes!
…Is that why? Was it some kind of punishment?
***
I was always a little lonely, I think. Mama was the only one around, and she tried her best, but in the end I stayed home more often than not. I guess even as a little kid, I was worried she would feel too lonely if I was gone.
By the time I reached High School, she started to seem guilty - and finally she asked me outright, to please join a club at school. I guess she was worried I wouldn't make friends, and that was a little justified. In the end, I didn't have the courage to join a flashy club, so I joined the library committee, and…
Haruto-senpaaii! He's so cool, so mysterious! The way his glasses glint when he pushes them up on his face is just like an anime character, and I know that's a niche taste but-!
Anyway, he confessed! To me! Even though I'm just Suzuki Rika!
…But if that was happily ever after, then why-?
***
I did not inherit my family's magic crest. That is the first, and most important thing about me. It is what defined my life forever after.
It was always with a vain sense of inferiority that I continued my efforts. Indeed, not only was I not the heir, our line was all but dead anyway. The heir of Wodime had completely eclipsed our astromancy, and even my older brother was powerless to compete with him.
And yet, by some fluke, I, Casparion Saltrosmelia, was the one to divine it! Neither Wodime, nor my Brother, but I foresaw it!
The end of the world, which only I could avert, sent me running to the Atlas institute for aid. There, working among my fellows, I studied, perfected, a particularly astrological variation of alchemy - and finally, at last, after six years, I achieved it! Through my efforts, the apocalypse was averted! Through my efforts, the Umbral Star was at last diverted!
So, then, why….!?
***
The frame is different, every time.
"I was a poor farmer." "I worked a dead-end job." "I was a rich socialite." "I was a blood-stained gangster."
Again and again, men and women, pouring through my jaws. What is this?
But, despite all of the differences, in spite of all their uniqueness-
"Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Whywhywhywhywhy-!?"
"Why am I dead!?" - remains the common cry.
Some remember the flames. Some do not. It makes no difference. It's incomprehensible to any of them. The incineration of humanity; the end of the world - not one of these souls has the frame of reference to even begin to comprehend it.
"Why?"
My question uses the same word, with a different intent. I already know about Humanity's incineration.
"Why-!?" Why am I seeing this? I already know the answer to that, I think. It's the same as Rigel. The transference of memories between two similar souls. My question is a much more simple one.
I claw my way free, tearing my way out through layer and layer of paper - the pages of countless books, painstakingly stitched together. And, at the summit of this mountain of memories, I see him - a me with white hair, painstakingly piecing together the fragments. And, heedless of everything else, I shout my question.
"Why are you still reading, you stupid bastard!?" I roar, and regret it instantly as the eyes of a 'starving' man fall upon me.
"[Natsuki… Subaru]."
The worst possible version of me simply mutters my name, as one would the name of a stranger - and with a scream, I awaken.
***
Scene 7
"-I recognize this ceiling," I mutter as I open my eyes. How could I not? I've woken up here plenty of times before.
The green room. A room, within the Pleiades Watchtower, which was brimming with life - a spirit lived there, and in addition to healing the wounds of those placed within it had also caused the room to become completely overrun with plants. We'd considered it the safest place to put unconscious teammates, the first time we had come to the Tower.
I sit up. "-Which means!"
"Subaru has arrived safely, I suppose."
My heart nearly stops, and I turn slowly.
She's here. My trusted partner, the Spirit I'm contracted with - a girl whose relationship with me can't be summed up with something as simple as 'little sister', but that might get close. Implausibly, in this land of rumors, a reunion…
And yet, what I feel isn't joy. There's no relief, seeing her here. Not just yet. In fact, my heart feels like it's going to freeze. I can't pick her up and twirl her around in joy, because I don't want to know.
"Hmm? Onii-san's looking a lii~ittle green around the gills!" Meili says.
"...Has Emilia been teaching you old-fashioned phrases?" I mutter under my breath.
"I don't think that one's so out of date, though?" Says a voice like a silver bell, from outside my vision, and I feel even more ill. I don't want to know.
"Barusu, don't beat around the bush. You need to face this head on," says yet another familiar voice. I think I might vomit. I don't want to know.
Slowly, painfully, I look up at Beatrice, seeing the sad smile on her face. And, slowly, every part of me screaming not to, I reach out - and my hand passes through the hallucination.
Murder courses through my veins.
The Pleiades Watchtower, when a person dies, produces a Book of the Dead. When read by one who knew them in life, the dead one's memories are transferred into the reader. The effects of that can vary, but… in me at least, when Meili died in a failed loop, it caused hallucinations after I read her book.
When our souls touched, in that dream, I got parts. Bits and pieces, of the books that thing had read. That… is why I am seeing these people. That is why I am hearing their voices.
Because, that thing killed them all, and read their books, in its mad quest to discover some secret power that [Natsuki Subaru] had and it did not.
I'll kill him. I'll kill him. Even Batenkaitos didn't bring me to such levels of hate, because I pitied him, some small amount. I won't pity that thing.
I had said something before, to Rigel - about people I wanted to save. But that thing isn't Natsuki Subaru. It's just [ ]. It believes that too, and I'm more than happy to bring that reasoning to its logical conclusion.
I'll kill it. I'll snuff it out. That thing can't be allowed to exist for a second longer than I can help. I won't forgive him, I won't forgive him, I won't-!
"Subaru," Beatrice says, and I blink, my eyes focusing on her tear-stained ones. "...Please save Betty's Subaru, I suppose."
Ah.
Ahhhhh.
"Damn… it…" I grit my teeth. "How do I, even…!"
I don't deserve a partner like her. That guy deserves her even less. But, for her sake, and for the sake of the shade of Emilia, who is nodding her assent to Beatrice's request-
"...Even that thing… I'll save him," I mutter a promise I don't mean, and the shades of his friends, murdered by his hand, fade from my view.
Act 3: End