Soliloquy
-I'm hesitating, he says.
Iori-san… is probably right. I can't really say why, but something about his personality is reassuring, so I can't ignore his insight.
Yeah. I'm hesitating. Three times, after Flugel attacked, I could have finished the fight. But each time, I hesitated to follow up right away on his attack, and the opening closed.
"I'm not used to fighting alongside someone" - if it was something like that, I could correct for it. But it's more complicated than that.
-I don't understand myself. That's the heart of the issue, I guess.
If I wanted to be cute about it, I'd call it 'the unknowable heart of a maiden' or something - but it's nothing that funny.
I think, the truth is, that I learned how to be a person wrong.
Loudly shouting quotes from daytime TV shows, and then resorting to my fists when that didn't connect our hearts in understanding - it was fine in elementary school, but if a boy kept doing that all the way through middle school, there would be room to be concerned. If a girl is doing that in eighth grade, something's gone wrong.
…By the time I realized my mistake, it was too late. I went to a new High School so I could debut properly, but what was I supposed to do? I never learned how to make friends normally. I knew that it was my rambunctiousness that had ruined middle school, so I tried to stay quiet - but that wasn't an answer either. Because, nobody will actually make friends with a quiet girl who threatens to tear them to pieces the moment they start talking to her.
It was easier when I was little.
-When Onii-chan was there, he would always look out for me - even though, in all of the seven years he lived with me, I never once held a proper conversation with him. But he's gone now. That girl, Akiha, took him - and according to the maid at the Tohno residence when I finally got in to talk with her a month later, both of them had already left. Everyone had, except for that lonely-looking maid.
I wanted to ask her, "If everyone is gone, why are you still here?" - but instead I started a fight with her and got kicked out.
-When the neighborhood kids were still playing together, it was easy. There were some rough patches at first, but when I became one of the Four Heavenly Playground Kings-!
Su-kun was a bit of a menace, but he was the leader, so it was fine. With him encouraging me, I really felt like I could do anything.
████-chan might have been a bit of a scaredy-cat, but she was the first and only girl I ever made friends with. She's the one who taught me to braid my hair, and she always had those cute cat band-aids ready when I scraped my knee.
█████-kun was always there, balancing everyone out, matching their pace, and making them happy. And so, whenever there was a fight, we could rely on him to step in and keep anyone from going home sad.
But, around the same time Onii-chan left, our parents told us we couldn't go outside anymore. We did anyway, obviously, but-
-The monster dog snarls. -████-chan screams.
Something happened, and-
-Glowing red eyes… I feel… so sleepy.
████████ ███████ is no longer in this world. ███████ ████████ never was.
-and when we went back outside again, the neighborhood play group slowly fell apart.
Su-kun went to another Middle School, and I continued, over and over, to try to break into the Tohno mansion - until everyone stopped following me because it wasn't fun to fail over and over.
-And so, we return to the subject at hand. Why am I hesitating? Why can't I follow up on Flugel's attacks?
"Sorry. It's not something that can be fixed," I answer. Because to fix it would require me to communicate properly. Because I don't really understand it myself.
"Why not?" Flugel asks, and I scowl. "I mean, you just have to trust me, right? Come on, at this point haven't we been through enough?"
"Of course not," Because Arima Miyako doesn't know how to trust someone in the first place. "I'll tear you to pieces." Somehow, in my embarrassment, that threat slips out again.
At some point, he'll start hating me, and I won't have to worry about it anymore. That's how it always goes.
"No, that's not what I saw," Iori-san says, and I blink. "The problem is that you already trust him, even though you don't think you should. You start to move, but then your mind catches up with your instincts, and you second guess yourself. By the time you can third-guess it, the window of opportunity is gone."
"Th-that's…" I mumble. That's not possible. By this point, in my third year of high school, I have no connections. I cut off all of the people from Middle School, because they were delinquents, and I didn't want them getting in the way of my high school debut. Now I can't talk to them either. When I get home, I go straight to my room. I haven't even practiced martial arts in the last month, because I'm worried grandpa might talk to me.
But we talked, on the train. And in the convenience store. Why did I do that? If it was Panda-sensei, I could explain it - but instead I beat up Panda-sensei, for the sake of this guy I don't know.
Why?
I look at him. Properly, this time, without those non-prescription glasses in the way. Without glancing away the next moment. I closely study the face of the boy calling himself Flugel.
…I didn't recognize Panda-sensei's voice, because it was six years older. If my instincts trust Flugel, then… could he also be someone from that time, when the world made sense?
"A-arima-san?" He asks, taking a step back as I draw a little closer.
"...No.," I mutter. "The other one. Call me by my given name, just this once."
"U-um…" He stutters, uncharacteristically meek. "Miyako-cha… Miyako-san?"
I tilt my head. There was something there, but… "Why'd you start with '-chan'?"
"Ah, I know someone else, but…" He chuckles and shakes his head. "I mean, even if you're both martial artists… that Miyako-chan is probably off getting in street fights with gangsters in her homeland of China at this point."
…Oh, Su-kun actually thought I was from China, huh?
It's that thought which finally brings it together.
Naturally, I charge him.
***
I remember a scene from days long past. A scorching hot summer, the cry of cicadas deafening. My first battle, the reason I took up the way of the fist in the first place.
"Huhahaha!" The boy laughs as he points down from his position at the top of the slide. "Foolish girl, you should have thought twice before challenging the Four Heavenly Playground Kings! I, Natsuki of the North, am more than enough for the likes of you-!"
-This boy, who likes to balance on precarious spots while shouting his name and making weird poses, is named Natsuki Subaru, but everyone calls him Su-kun. It's not really the case at this point in time, but a few months from now he will become the de-facto leader of the neighborhood kids. He's the type that roams around way after curfew, getting in fights with stray dogs and lighting fireworks where he shouldn't. He can do anything, so once he learns about something new, he always runs off and does it as quickly and fully as he's able.
…But he really doesn't have any kind of prudence, so that statement also includes things like making a promise to marry every single girl in the neighborhood when he grows up. He might be popular, but he's not that popular, so that incident will lose him his friendships with every single girl except those who didn't like him that way in the first place.
In short, there's every reason to be worried about this boy's future.
"You can't keep this playground for yourself!" The girl who was just sent sliding down - a spirited child with long brown hair, wearing a traditional Chinese martial artist's uniform, rises to her feet. "I have the power of justice and kung fu on my side! I am the reincarnation of Li Shuwen - take this! [Wú Èr Dǎ]!" - and then, sprinting up the slide, she launches into a flying kick that sends both kids toppling off.
-This girl, who shouts Chinese words she barely understands while doing dangerous martial arts stunts that could land her in the hospital, is named Arima Miyako, but everyone calls her Miyako-chan. She punches first and asks questions later, though she only started taking her martial arts training seriously a few weeks ago when Su-kun defeated her for the first time. She's a prodigy, though, so by this point she has already eclipsed him. Because she can communicate through martial arts, her social skills will never develop, and she'll never hold a meaningful conversation with another person after entering middle school.
By the way, when Su-kun's childhood marriage promise scheme occurs, she will turn him down because she intends to marry her onii-chan, or, failing that, █████-kun. Su-kun is still in third place after them, but of course after her Onii-chan leaves, and █████-kun and ████-chan vanish from this world, Miyako-chan's way of being will spiral into a haze of unrestrained violence that doesn't leave her until her entrance into high school. And so, too embarrassed to reach out to Su-kun and reconnect, she will never speak with him again to the present day.
In short, there's every reason to be worried about this girl's future.
By the way, this girl is me.
"Woah, woah, wait-!" he shouts, as I hit him.
And so, two children tumble off the back of a slide. I only realize after committing to the attack just how dangerous it was, and looking down at the sand below, it doesn't seem that soft.
No, in the first place, I'm starting to tip backwards. My head might hit the steps going up to the top of the slide, and I don't know what'll happen then.
But then, Su-kun grabs me. He pulls me forwards, and I land on top of him instead, my head bumping into his.
"Hey!" I shout, springing to my feet. "Don't just pull me down with you, Natsuki of the North!"
"Huh!?" He shouts, rubbing his forehead. "Well, Dad said I had to be careful - I mean, didn't you realize-"
…Naturally, I didn't tell him that I noticed the danger I was in. I insisted that he was just trying to get me hurt. Because even back then, I couldn't really communicate. Very well.
"Hm, it looks like you finally lost, Su-kun," An older girl with short black hair says. "Just as my demon eye predicted, your [Slide Staredown] backfired in the end!"
-This girl, who's still playing on the playground with us seven-year-olds despite already almost being in middle school, is named Seo Akira, but everyone calls her Akira-nee. She claims to have a 'demon eye', and she still proudly refers to herself as the leader of the Heavenly Playground Kings at age eleven.
In short, there's every reason to be worried about this girl's future - is what I would say if I hadn't seen her happy around town in the modern day with a baby and occasionally her husband in tow. It seems like her future-seeing demon eye was the real deal after all, because everything worked out just fine for her.
By the way, when Su-kun's childhood marriage promise scheme occurs, she'll have already left town to go to a boarding school in the countryside, having passed down her title to-
"B-but Akira-nee!" He protests, but she shushes him.
"Alright, normally the rule would be for Su-kun to lose his title, but…" She gives a smile like a cute animal. "Miyako-chan, I'll give you mine instead. You're Arima of the East, now."
***
We land in an inch deep puddle, and dirty water splatters all over us. My hand hurts a little, because I caught the back of his head with it when I realized we were falling. In short, a flying hug is a lot less dangerous in anime, I've learned just now.
"Su-kun," I mumble. "...I missed you."
He gives a slightly sad chuckle. "...Sorry for not saying anything. I guess I was just hoping that we hadn't somehow both screwed up our entire lives after parting ways."
"....Yeah," I mumble. "We should have just gone to the same school."
"Ahhh…" He seems noncommittal. "I mean, I don't know if that would have helped much? I'm about as big of a social idiot as you are, so if anything we'd just be isolated together-?"
"Shut up. I'll tear you to pieces," I mutter.
"Ah, she's back to normal, huh…?"
"...I'm still here, by the way," says Iori-san.
***
Author's note:
Meanwhile, Recorder: *Screaming while desperately trying to keep his Dragon between him and Saber* "WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG!?"
To the three Kagetsu Tohya Chads reading this, Seo is just cameoing here, she'll probably never be plot relevant.
Her story in this timeline is that after going to college she got into a generic romantic comedy with a guy after foreseeing their entire relationship with her mystic eyes, Melusine style.
She might show her face in an EX chapter, but that's it.