"S-sorry, I just blurted it out." I say, scratching my arm nervously. "Flat-senpai kept insisting I use that nickname, and since I spent so much time with him…"
"I should have known his name would pop up…" Professor Velvet says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Still, I should get through the other half of my introduction, since you probably don't know that part. Servant Caster - I'm Lord El-Melloi II, though I've been summoned as a Pseudo-Servant. My true name is Zhuge Liang, courtesy name Kongming."
What.
"Wait, you were El-Melloi II!?" I say, pointing at him. That… somehow isn't that surprising?
Right, Ahab's memories. Now that I think about it, I can almost see the Chinese strategist's wicked grin on his face.
The Professor raises an eyebrow. "Why are you… oh, that's right. From the information the grail gave me, the 'present day' is 2016. By this point, I suppose I'd have stepped down and given the title to Reines."
"So that's how it is…" I mutter. "Well, now that the summoning's done, I guess we should get everyone up to date - a strategist with no information is no use, right?"
"Hm. I'd not say no use. I've still got one or two tricks at my disposal. But information would definitely be appreciated." He nods.
Merry, from a largely ineffectual hiding place behind an overturned handcart - did she run there when the summoning started? - gives a small, hesitant nod. "L-lord Siegfried says he's listening as well, but he will remain dematerialized for now."
"I'm ready too." Says the Director, appearing on the comm unit once more. "We're routing to Mash's communicator as well."
…Alright. I'll put aside thoughts of Gareth for now. I need to make a good impression on new teammates after all. Calling up my courage and Ahab's spite, I trace my mind across everything I've learned of this exhausting singularity so far. And then, with a forced grin and a deep breath, I begin.
***
"Okay! To start with, this singularity was formed due to the sudden return of an evil version of Jeanne d'Arc, who summoned an army of dragons and Madness-Enhanced servants using a Holy Grail gifted to her by one of the demons of the Ars Goetia. With that, the timeline diverged enough that the planet began to summon Servants to counter the threat, and Chaldea observed a singularity.
As far as our allies go, we're spread pretty freaking thin. There's the group from Chaldea - Mash Kyrielight, Mordred Pendragon, and myself. We had linked up with Jeanne d'Arc, Amadeus Mozart, and Marie Antoinette, but we got separated during an encounter with Francois Prelati. I managed to kill the little bastard, but when his Reality Marble unraveled I was miles away in Lyon."
"What are we working with there? I can't imagine a Knight of the Round Table or a famous local Saint being weak, but as for the rest - who even is Mash Kyrielight, anyway?" Professor Velvet asks.
Galahad, I carefully don't say. There's not a chance in hell that I'll let Mash get overwritten this time around.
"Mash is a Demi-Servant. It's a similar deal to what you've got going on, but the creation process is different - anyway, whoever it is she's fused with is definitely a powerhouse, but he seems to be withholding his name from her on purpose." I explain. "As for the rest… don't worry, it's way worse than it sounds. Mordred sacrificed her sword at the end of the last singularity, and Jeanne says she was summoned without her offensive Noble Phantasm, her legend bonus, most of her abilities as a Ruler class Servant, and all of her memories of previous summons."
The Professor takes a long, long, drag of his cigar and closes his eyes, exhaling with an equally long sigh. "I see. Do we have any other cards to play? That girl over there mentioned Siegfried's presence, right?"
"Y-yes milord! I'm his m-m-master, Merry d'Lyon, milord!" She says, giving a sloppy curtsy. "But Lord Siegfried was terribly injured protecting the town, and so-"
"He can't even materialize, huh?" Professor Velvet takes yet another long drag of his cigar. "What a fucking shitshow."
"...Pretty much, yeah. What kind of timescale are we looking at for his recovery?" I ask.
"That's…" Merry trails off.
"Indefinite, it seems." Siegfried's voice emanates from nowhere. "My injuries were cursed, so I've been unable to recover."
I can do something about that, I want to say, but- I'm not sure. I still don't know how my [Gluttony] works, still don't have a name for it, even. I know that it killed me last time. I know that it didn't kill me in Fuyuki. How the hell does that even make sense!? Ahab's Harpoon killed me, but the curse of Angra Mainyu didn't? Isn't that unreasonable?
In any case, if it has a chance to kill me, I can't risk using it, not when it could reset me back into Prelati's trap.
But that aside, it makes sense now - in the last loop, I had wondered why Kongming hadn't prepared any measure to save Siegfried. But knowing about his cursed injury, and Kongming's personality…
"He's dead weight anyway, so I'll just let him die." - I'm sure he said something like that.
"Well, to try to save some morale, we have got one other group of allies - a group of Rogue Servants defending Paris at the moment. Captain Ahab, the young version of Elizabeth Bathory, Kiyohime, Charlotte Corday, Robespierre, Edward of Woodstock, and, most importantly, Saint George. Napoleon was around too, but Prelati talked him into attacking Orleans alone and he hasn't been seen since."
Speaking of allies disappearing, there's also that - Corday and Robespierre vanish tomorrow, followed by Kiyohime later in the night. Ahab had tried a little bit to figure it out, but ultimately Robespierre and Corday were useless anyway and wrangling Kiyohime without setting off her berserk buttons was impossible for someone as disagreeable as the old captain. In other words, he gave up after… just two tries!?
Seriously, Ahab, does that [Determination of Steel] skill of yours only apply to whales!?
And then there's Edward of Woodstock, who in every loop had ridden out to aid us against Chlodovech, despite Ahab's urgings, and in every loop had been killed by Lancelot.
"The Black Prince…?" Merry asks in utter disbelief. "Why… why him!? Why not Emperor Charlemagne, or King Clovis, or even … why did it have to be the one of the men who began this hundred year war in the first place!?"
"To be honest, I'm more curious about Napoleon." Professor Velvet says. "Who exactly are we facing in this Singularity - and how the hell did they manage to bring down Napoleon Bonaparte on French Soil?"
"I guess that's as good a segue as any." I say with a sigh. "Dark Jeanne summoned a whole bunch of Wyverns and Dragons, including Fafnir. Aside from that, there's a full set of Servants with Mad Enhancement - Berserk Avenger, Edmond Dantes; Berserk Saber, Chevalier d'Eon; Berserk Lancer, Vlad III; Berserk Archer, a cat-eared woman I don't know the identity of; Berserk Rider, Saint Martha; the second Berserk Rider, Chlodovech, King of the Franks; Berserk Assassin, Carmilla; Berserk Caster, Gilles de Rais; and True Berserker, Lancelot du Lac."
Professor Velvet takes a drag of his cigar, and exhales. And then he does it two more times, before finally finding a good response.
"Fuck." He says.
"Yeah." I reply. "We thought we picked off Carmilla in La Charite, but it seems she's still alive, with extra dragon traits like wings added on for some reason. Same with Dantes and Fafnir; it seems like the former's got a stupidly strong healing Noble Phantasm, and they're going to be popping up again. Even worse, Fafnir's learned his lesson from being injured, so he's going to be using hit-and-run tactics from here on."
"Ah!" Merry says. "Ridiculous healing… is he that kuhaha guy who attacked us this morning?"
"...Kuhaha guy?" Professor Velvet asks.
"Y-yes, milord! He was zipping around with great agility and kept laughing with a strange 'kuhaha' laugh." The girl says. "Lord Siegfried almost slew him, but the next moment he was unharmed."
"That's the one." I nod. "It seems like he's… I think he said he could 'escape outside of time', or something like that?"
"I see… I think Flat mentioned that there was a Dead Apostle with that kind of ability in Egypt once." He says. "The ability to attack within stopped time… how terrifying."
"...I think Flat-Senpai might have been talking about an anime there, actually." I say, scratching my head. "Regardless, I'm pretty sure that Dantes has to enter into the normal timestream again to attack, at least for an instant. If you can predict his location, your Noble Phantasm is definitely able to catch him."
"Hmm… In that case, we can probably make do. On that note… I suppose you have some kind of clairvoyance, Master?" The Professor asks, and it takes a little too long for me to realize he's talking to me.
"Man, hearing you call me 'Master' is way too weird… Can you just call me Subaru like normal?" I mutter, scratching the back of my head. "And I can't exactly tell you about it."
"It's something like that." The Director pipes up. "Whatever his deal is, it's got some sort of clause that will kill him if he talks too much about the details."
"...Troublesome." He notes, cigar shifting up and down in his mouth as he chews on the end. "Still it seems you can share events somewhat freely, so… what do we have to worry about in the immediate future?"
"Berserk Saber will arrive in Lyon tomorrow morning to finish off Siegfried. I don't think she'd be able to beat him normally, but as he is…" I trail off, and he closes his eyes in thought. "Fafnir and Dantes could show up at any time, too. The bulk of the Wyverns have… probably withdrawn to Orleans with Dark Jeanne, I think. Dantes and Fafnir could have as well, but they're both fast enough that location doesn't necessarily matter."
"...When did you say Fafnir had been wounded, again?" Professor Velvet asks.
"Um…" It had happened before my reset point, right. How long… five minutes, maybe? Taking into account the time I spent unconscious… "It can't have been much more than two hours ago. Why?"
"...Just a theory. I need some more time to think about it, I'll let you know later." He answers. "Is there anything else I should be aware of?"
I stop to ponder. I feel like there's one more thing I'm missing…
"-Wait!" The Director blurts out. "I was too busy thinking about other problems earlier, but… how the hell did you show up in the first place, El-Melloi!?"
"El-Melloi II," He corrects. "And what do you mean by that, Olga Marie?"
There's something in his tone of voice, something that was missing when he was talking to me, that should have been there. But I can't quite figure out what that is-
"I mean how were you 'Zhuge Liang', the one to come out of that summoning ritual!? Our catalyst was a holy shroud provided by Jeanne d'Arc! There should be no way for a Chinese tactician of all things to pop out!" She shouts. "And that's 'Director', to you!"
The Professor closes his eyes, a troubled look flitting across his face, before it vanishes and stern eyes gaze back at her. "You can't answer that for yourself?"
"Of course not! How should I know-!"
"You're smarter than that, Olga Marie." He chides, and realization dawns. I get it - this attitude, I missed it in him because he didn't recognize me. The attitude of a teacher, drawing out the best in his student. "I'll give you a hint. What was the history of that holy shroud?"
"It was created by Jeanne d'Arc, earlier…today…" Her head falls into her hands. "Ahhhh! I'm so stupid! It's in a singularity! It's an object that won't even exist outside of that point in time, which is where the Throne of Heroes is! Of course we got someone random, we might as well have not been using a catalyst at all!"
"...Seven points. Rather than 'no catalyst', it would be better to say that the catalyst was set to 'zero'. A summon not taking any catalyst into account, not even compatibility with the summoner. In some sense, it was just leaving the whole process up to luck and the will of the planet. All in all, not the worst circumstance." He explains patiently. "But that raises the extra question - just how tired are you, Olga Marie? This kind of mistake is unlike you."
She blinks, and stares at him with a bizarre look on her face. "...Do we know each other? In your timeline, I mean?"
"We met on the Rail Zeppelin. Some unfortunate events unfolded, but it ended with you striking up a friendship with… I suppose she's the current El-Melloi III. You ended up joining my class at the Clock Tower as well."
"...What about Chaldea?" She asks, strangely distant.
He shrugs. "It doesn't exist. Your father was never able to find the funding he needed."
"...I see." She says. A few moments pass, and then she lets out a breath. "I'll go try to get some sleep. Romani, you're in charge until I get back."
Her display cuts out, and a familiar fluffy-haired doctor pops up. "Well, that's… Listen, I'm going to go after her. I'm not any good with battle plans anyway, so… ah, why not. Cu Chulainn, you're still lurking around in spiritual form, right? You take charge until I'm back."
"Finally!" I hear a rush of spiritron particles, and Caster's face replaces Romani's.
"Have you just been… waiting in the command room this whole time?" I ask.
"Obviously. Where else would I be hanging out?" He says with a grin.