POV: Calla
I slept without dreaming.
That surprised me. After everything Kael had told me, after everything I had agreed to, I expected the dark behind my eyes to be full of things. Old memories. Silver light. The sound of a door that wouldn't open.
But there was nothing. Just a deep, quiet black and then morning.
I lay still for a moment and listened to the forest. Birds. Wind in the high branches. The slow creak of the black-bark trees settling. It had started to sound familiar. This place that was supposed to be risky. This forest that scared everyone.
It just sounded like home.
I sat up and Kael wasn't there. There was no one in his chair. The fire was low but still going, so he hadn't been gone for long. I put on my boots and went outside.
He was at the edge of the clearing, facing away from me, and looking at the trees. Still the same. He felt like he was always waiting, but it changed shape. "Someone is coming," he said without looking back.
I looked past him.
The trees at the far end of the clearing moved. Not the way they moved for me. Not leaning and being friendly. Just leaving. Letting.
A figure came through.
By yourself. No colours for the pack. No guns. I could see his hands at his sides.
Darian.
He looked worse than the last time I saw him. He had dark circles under his eyes and a tight jaw, like someone who hadn't slept well in days. He stopped at the edge of the clearing, looked at me, and didn't come any closer.
He was waiting for someone to say yes.
That was different.
I crossed my arms and stared at him. "You came back," I said. "Yes." "By yourself this time."
"Yes."
I waited.
With one hand, he reached up and pushed his hair back. Something he did when he was looking for words. I had seen him do it a hundred times when I was a kid. It used to make me feel warm and fuzzy about him.
I told myself that it didn't do that anymore.
He said, "Three of our pack members are dying." "Not sick like people get sick. Something else. The healer calls it the "Grey Consumption." He kept looking at me. "She doesn't know how to end it. The Elder is not helpful. My dad doesn't know what to do.
I didn't say anything.
"We believe it began the night of the ceremony," he said. "The timing is right. Bess looked at everything. Before that night, everyone was fine.
The night he turned me down.
I kept that thought to myself and didn't let it show on my face.
"Why are you telling me?" I asked. "Because I think it has something to do with you." He said it in a low voice. There was no blame in his voice. Just a simple fact between us. "I don't get how. Two days ago, I saw a lot of things in this forest that I don't understand. But three people are going dark, and I don't know where else to go.
There wasn't much noise in the clearing.
Kael had not moved from where he was. He wasn't looking at Darian. He was staring at me. "You're not asking me to come back," I said.
Darian shook his head. "No."
"You're not saying I owe them anything."
"No."He looked me in the eye. "You don't. You don't have to do anything for any of us. I understand that. Something moved on his face. Quick and raw. "I know what we did." He swallowed and said, "What I did." "I'm just letting you know what's going on. It's up to you what you do with it.
I looked at him.
Darian Vale had never said that to me in twenty-one years. That it was up to me. Not when we were kids and he picked who we played with. Not when we were older and he decided how close I could get to him. Not when he picked my future in front of everyone at the ceremony.
It's up to you.
I hated how it hit me. I wanted to stay still. I had good reasons to stay calm. I had a whole list of good reasons, starting with what I said about her not having a place and ending with the look on five wolves' faces when they laughed.
I was so mad that it moved me anyway.
I looked away from him and at the trees. At the silver light of morning coming through the trees. At the warm, dark bark of the closest trunk.
I thought about how Selene had walked through this forest for hundreds of years. She gave everything she had to a world that eventually sat in a circle and took the rest. I thought about what Kael had told me. That she never figured it out. That she didn't have enough time.
I thought about three people who were dying in their beds and no one could help them.
I thought about what I owed the dead.
Not a thing. The dead hadn't done me many favours.
But the three people who died weren't dead yet.
I turned back around.
"I won't go back to the pack," I said. "This is not what this is. I'm not coming back. I don't want anything from any of you, and I don't want anything from you either. I turned to Darian. "I help because they are people and they are in pain. Not because I owe the pack. Not because you asked me to. "Are we clear?"
Darian agreed. No argument. "No negotiation," he said.
I looked at Kael.
He was already staring at me. His eyes were moving, but his face was still. They were doing something careful, deep, and a little scary. "You know what this means," he said in a low voice. Not to Darian. "Yes," to me.
"Going back in there." "After everything." "I know." "They will see what you are becoming and want to use it." He spoke in a very low voice. "Some of them will want to put it back in a box." They do this with things they can't control.
I looked at him and said again, "I know."
He looked at my face for a long time.
"Calla." Just my name. There was more to what he said than just the word. I said his real name, "Kael." The old one. No one alive had heard the four syllables until yesterday.
He shut his eyes for a short time.
The scary thing was gone when he opened his eyes. Replaced by something more stable. "If you go back in there," he said softly, "they will try to cage you again."
I grabbed my jacket off the step and put it on.
"Let them try," I said.
There was very little noise in the forest around us.
Then one of the black-bark trees behind me slowly bent over. Only one. Like a hand reaching for my shoulder.
It seemed like it was proud of me.
I didn't grin. But it was close.
I looked at Darian and said, "Take me to them."