I stopped expecting it after a while.
Not completely…but enough to protect myself from disappointment.
Still, every morning, my eyes searched for you before I even realized it.
Like my heart had made it a habit.
9 October
Maybe he'll come today.I think I've said this to myself too many times now.
That day felt normal.
Too normal.
Classes, noise, people talking around me—everything moved the same way it always did.
And then suddenly—
you were there.
For a second, I thought I imagined it.
But no.
It was really you.
Standing a little far away, talking to someone casually, like you had no idea what your presence had just done to me.
"Some people don't even realize how deeply they affect the hearts waiting for them."
My heartbeat changed instantly.
Fast. Uneven.
Like my heart had been waiting for this moment longer than I wanted to admit.
After all those days…
I finally saw you again.
And strangely—
nothing around me mattered anymore.
10 October
He came today.And suddenly, breathing felt easier again.
You looked the same.
Same eyes.Same smile.Same way of talking with your hands while explaining something.
And maybe that's what hurt the most.
Because everything about you still felt familiar…
while everything between us didn't.
I wanted to go to you.
Ask you everything.
Tell you how terrible these days had been without you.
Tell you how badly I missed talking to you.
But my feet stayed still.
And so did my words.
"Sometimes, the hardest thing isn't seeing someone again… it's pretending they still don't mean everything to you."
I kept wondering—
Did you miss me too?
Did those days affect you the way they affected me?
Or was I the only one still holding onto us?
11 October
I thought seeing him would calm my heart.Instead, it made me feel everything all over again.
The strange thing was—
even after all the hurt, all the distance, all the confusion…
seeing you still felt like comfort.
Like something my heart recognized before my mind could stop it.
And maybe that was my weakness.
The fact that no matter how much things changed…
a part of me still softened around you.
"Some feelings don't disappear with distance… they just wait quietly until the person returns."
That day, I realized something.
I had spent so many days missing you…
that I forgot how dangerous it would feel to finally see you again.
Because now—
all the feelings I tried to silence had returned.
And stronger than before.