The first time I saw him, I acted as if I didn't notice his glances at me .
It was raining in Oakland, the kind that reminds you of the good old days, that makes the street shine like glass.
I was late for my shift at a small coffee shop owned by my uncle, who made me work there because of my family's debt. My mom couldn't finish because of an accident that paralyzed one of her legs.
That was when I noticed him across the other side of the coffee stand. Dark, tall, pretty good looking but unreadable expression, pretending to be reading a magazine.
He wasn't even my type.
He was too observant and mysterious. Too calm .
Too careful.
And yet everyday, he comes into the coffee shop without ordering shit.
I had enough so I decided to stumble to his table with anger. At first I wasNo a little scared because he looked and screamed danger.
"Listen young man, I don't know who you work for but you got the wrong shop".
Yet he didn't alter a word, face down on his magazine which made my blood boil so I stormed off. It bothered me for days.
Where is he here?
What are his intentions?
I'm his target?.
It all didn't just make sense to me.
So I decided to test him.
One Friday , he was there as usual. I took permission from the manager.
So I can leave work earlier than usual
I walked casually. Like I didn't know he was following me
So ducked into a Metro.
Three stops later, I switched lines .
Then again I walked fast, crossed through a hotel lobby, and exited onto a narrow street. I turned to check if he was still there.
He was just leaning against a lamp post. Waiting.
Observing.
That was the moment it hit me.
You are bad at this you know?.
He didn't say anything to me, just his hands in his pocket then leaned forward.
Close to my face.
Too close to my face.(" Ohh God ,why is my face turning red"), I said in my mind.
My heart skipped a beat - not from fear but from the closeness.
His eyes were like a lake filled with swans , smells like a bunch of lilies .
I snapped out of the delusion and tried to talk as my legs wobbled .
"You are not very subtle", I said , folding my arms .
He didn't move. Didn't blink.
"I wasn't trying to be" ,he says.
His voice was calm . Smooth. Too smooth. Which made me less afraid.
I came close to him. Close enough to see the faint scar near his jaw.
"You have been stalking me for weeks", I said . " Coffee shop, bus stop. Now ? The Metro"
I observed a small smile tugged at his lips.
"You are observant", he said.
"That wasn't a compliment!".
Silence stretched between us, thick and electric.
Then his face heaved - like someone who had been carrying something heavy for too long.
"I didn't want you involved"
I froze.
"Involved in what?"
That's when it happened.
The playful mystery vanished from his face. His shoulder stiffened. His eyes were deemed as he scanned the street behind me.
And suddenly it struck me.
This wasn't about me, this was about danger.
As I was still analyzing it in my head, "walk", he said quietly.
"What", I say .
Don't argue, just walk. Now!!.
Fears chill down my throat.
Something in his tone made my feet move before my pride could protest.
He pulled me closer and moved his hand. Not close to fill his skin-but close enough to fill the warmth of him.
"Five men", "very dangerous", he murmured.
They have been tracking me for weeks now. I froze as my eyes widened.
"You are not just some guy who likes reading magazines at my coffee shop". "Are you?". He giggled a little and said, "No"
We turned a corner into a street .
"Who are you?"
I asked boldly, like I wanted to beat him up which I can't caus he's fucking hot and his abs must be like a Greek god I drooled.
He hesitated.
Then, " my name is James", he said.
I work for a high secret agency. Which I can't say, he continued.
"Undercover, the cafè wasn't random . I was watching someone
"Me?", I said.
"No"
I was relieved, "(feeww….)".
"But you worked into something you shouldn't have and now you're in grave danger", he whispered.
My heart did a 360 jump as I screamed in panic . He grabbed me and placed his hands on my mouth and altered me to keep quiet, but my ghost had already left my body.
Memories flashed- a strange brown envelope was left behind one night.
A coded phone call I overheard.
The way he always sat facing the entrance door.
"You should have stayed away from me", he said.
"And yet you kept on coming back", I said.
He froze.
For the first time, the calm spy mask cracked.
"I kept coming back because you made it impossible to remember that this job comes first", he said
My heart betrayed me again.
This was insane.
Dangerous.
Careless .
And yet...
The sound of footsteps echoed behind us. My stomach felt like there were lots of roses stuck on them.
He grabbed me on his shoulder.
Not gently.
Not roughly.
But protectively.
which made my heart flatter.
"Trust me he said".
And for some reason I couldn't explain why I did.
We ducked into an alley as he pressed me against the wall.
His face inches from mine, as he shielded me until the footsteps rushed by.
"You shouldn't look at me like that," he whispered behind my ears, and God!! I felt like kissing him.
"Like what", I whispered.
"Like I'm not the bad guy I clearly am".
I paused .
"Maybe I don't mind bad guys after all", I smirked…
The world shrank to the space between us for a second.
"This isn't a game", he said while leaning towards me , which was breathtaking.
"If they notice your matter to me, you become leverage". "Which I can't afford to".
His words melted my heart.
"Why?",I say .
He took a good look at me and moved his face immediately.
"Nothing", he said.
All I'm saying is that you need to stay away from me, so you can be safe .
"What if I don't want to?", I said.
His jaw tightened.
"I won't be able to protect you and they can hurt you pretty bad".
His face faded.
"I should have walked away".
"I should have chosen safety".
Instead I chose to stay and now you are in big danger.
"Then don't push me away", I said in my calm tone.
He faced down.
I came closer to him, held his arm.
" Let me choose".
He smiled a little in relief.
The street lights flickered above us.
He looked at me with a calm face.
Like I was the most dangerous secret mission he has ever assigned.
And maybe I was.
Because spices could disappear.
Spices can lie.
They can live a double life.
But the truth?.
The truth was in his eyes and they were telling me I was already falling.