Sarit
I held onto the Celtic woven knot he gave me, clutching it to my chest tightly as I shivered on the sand once more. I had become quieter these days as I silently grappled with this particular reality before me, Chada still hadn't returned.
That perhaps he had already died.
Chada was naturally obsessed with me, how could he leave me for weeks unattended? Surely he wouldn't do it intentionally. I wasn't about to entertain that thought. "And you know what, he better be dead for making me wait," I grumbled aloud.
I curled myself closer in a ball, making my own embrace to block out the rest of the world. I felt tired, so I slowly let my lids fall, hoping to finally get some rest.
In my dream, I felt a warmth enveloping my shivering body. Finally I let out a breath of relief and grasped that feeling closer to me as I smelled the faint scent of salt and lemongrass.
"Chada..." I mumbled, not expecting any response from the presence that felt like home.
"Yes, my love?" I heard the warm low tone of the sun in my head. My sun, my Chada.
His voice pulled me out of my slumber. Something about it didn't feel quite like a dream. Maybe it was a warmth that no dream without him could capture. I wanted to get closer to the source of where the voice had tickled my skin.
I opened my eyes slowly to see that man with his sea-tousled hair staring at me as he leaned over me with but a breath of distance separating our very souls.
"Are... you real?" I asked him.
"I sure hope so, little fishy," Chada said, beaming a strangely relieved smile.
"I am not a fish!" I groaned at him once more, forgetting the long-held tension between us as I took him in before me.
"Are you okay?" he inquired, his eyes searching mine for the answer. He looked worried. I gave him a confused stare, why was he looking at me like that? "Yes, of course I am." I had to stop myself from blurting out the same question for him as I craned my neck up from my curled position to look at him.
He stared back at me. For a minute we stayed there in silence. The atmosphere around us was more than just sensual, it was cinematic. It was as if he was searching my very soul with his warm eyes to see if I was really all right. It was as if he could see me when others couldn't.
It was as if even when I had hidden myself from the entire world, he still found me. He really found me. He really returned.
I felt my breath hitch, my heart swelling with a new kind of feeling and the urge to cry. The urge to go against every rule I had written for myself. Every rule I had been breaking as he was the wall around my heart. The same rules I had already been breaking when I confided in him about my past.
He didn't pull me in for a kiss, but he looked at my misty eyes and pulled me into his arms in a hug, holding me tightly as if afraid the tides would wash me away.
As if letting me go would be the hardest thing he'd ever do. He held me like that, not hurting me but firmly holding me to him as I grasped him back, breathing in his scent as I let my long-repressed sobs shake mybody. He didn't ask me why I was crying, he just held me. "You're my greatest treasure. I'm not letting you go," he breathed in a raw voice as he held the back of my neck, patting my hair tenderly.
"I thought you were gone." I choked on my words as I let my admission slip.
"Shh, shh. I'm not going anywhere. Even if you chase me away. Never."
I looked up at him, scanning his face for the sincerity that was etched into his every feature as he looked at me with glassy eyes. I pulled my hand up and traced his knitted brows, rubbing my thumb over his eyelids. He softly closed them, letting me lean forward to where the tears had been similarly pooling in his own. I kissed his eyelids softly, showing him the same tenderness and sincerity he always gave me.
I knew he wasn't going to hurt me. This time, I trusted him. Trust was always such a distant word for me. Life was too fleeting to trust it with anyone. Looking at me now, I realized Chada held more care for my life than he did his own. A human whom I tried to kill when we first met would get this emotional for my sake.
The same man who didn't bat an eye when he watched me pull another man to his doom. The same man who held me when panic attacks gripped my body, the same man who stopped the second he noticed I was crying.
"Why didn't you come back sooner? We almost missed Songkran. You promised to take me," I said as I tried to steady my breath.
He patted and caressed my face. "They wouldn't let me leave the hospital. It was excruciating not knowing if you were okay or getting to be by your side."
I bumped my forehead to his as he held me close, letting each other feel the other's presence.
"We can still go to Songkran. Is your arm okay?" he asked, looking down at my arm as if unconvinced despite it being all healed. I nodded, assuring him once again.
My eyes finally trailed down to see his leg, it was covered in a bunch of wraps and a splint. It had gotten sand and water on it. "Your leg!" I exclaimed in distress. "What are you doing? Getting it wet is bad for a human, isn't it? Are you okay? We need to get the sand out!"
He softly chuckled. "It's okay, it's just some sand. It will wash off. Seeing you was more important."
I stared up at him, wondering how this man could understand my social anxiety and yet not spare half that level of care for his own life. "A suicidal human and a siren, what a mix," I said, grumbling.
He ruffled my hair. "I am not suicidal, not with you. I want to live a very long time with you."
"Now you're not missing the chance to be romantic, are you?" My words made him laugh softly again. "I learned from the best."
"I am not romantic, though," I quipped. He shrugged his shoulders. "To me there is no bigger romance than you." His comment didn't seem as if he was just joking. My cheeks heated up as I buried myself in the crook of his chest and shoulder.
I pulled back after a moment to say, "We need to get that leg fixed, but Onyx is still in a coma."
"Don't worry, the wound part isn't that bad anymore..." he seemed to hesitate while he chewed his lip. I wanted to ask him what was wrong but the cold air made me shiver even worse. "We should start by getting you able to get up from here first. I would carry you, but I can't right now," he said gently as he took off his jacket and wrapped it around my body.
I let him do so while feeling grateful that the traces of his body's warmth were still on the jacket. I looked up at him and wanted to just hold him.
It seemed the feeling was mutual as he leaned back down once again, shifting so I was on his lap and my tail curled around his legs. I hooked my arms around his neck for balance and shifted my weight so I wasn't on his leg.
For once we just breathed in our closeness, something else connecting us. I leaned my head into his shoulder. I softly kissed his shoulder, then his cheeks. He let me while looking at me with those warm compassionate eyes.
Whispering softly to me as we forgot about anything else but just being soft and intimate. It was a sweet, innocent sort of care this time, as we let our hearts connect.
I didn't know if sirens could transform like that, given I normally heard of such more from sensual experiences or that of mates. However, I liked the feeling as I softly transitioned in front of him. We didn't need to put up any pretense or anything.
It felt different this time, like a warm hug after a really bad day. I slowly put his jacket around my waist to cover myself just enough as I let him brace on me while we walked back.
He seemed to be treating me with the warmth of a lover.