Four months have passed since confirming that Master Chingon knows more about Zei Sho than he lets on. Four months and, unlike his damn scroll, his secret has yet to unravel further. Try as I might, the stubborn old cat is far too sly to fall into my traps. No matter how vague, every time I sneak in a question remotely related to my mortal enemy, Master quickly squirms his way out. Despite his outward aloofness, he's proven to be more than clever enough to keep my answers shrouded in shadow. No matter what I do, he shows no sign of cracking, only total obliviousness.
The first month or so, after delivering that scroll to Kendrick, I did little else but fixate on Master's secret, like a dog held hostage by the tip of its tail—shamefully shortsighted and equally ignorant. The obsession caused my training to suffer. Luckily, Azura was there to keep me painfully tethered to my path. As much as Master's secret claws at me, I couldn't just sit around and let her keep embarrassing me in the training ring. Hour after hour, day after day, weeks on end with no progress. It was her constant besting of me, specifically the wounds my ego suffered as a result, that eventually freed me from the blinding suspicion.
Honestly, my pride still has not fully recovered. Perhaps it never will… perhaps that is for the best. What good has pride brought me? What assistance does an ego offer in the face of death? A proud cat will never see weakness in its reflection. A blind cat can never see its path. Thankfully, Azura was able to beat me down, again and again, until I was so glaringly weak that my head was forced in front of the mirror and my proud eyes were pried open. What looked back was a cat too weak to save his family. A cat too proud to listen. A misguided fool who had plummeted to rock bottom, who clung to paranoia and hatred with hopes that his inability might be the fault of another. But failure after failure shattered my pride, and among its scattered shards I found no honor. Honor only resides in the truth of things, and the truth is that I am weak. So, with a mouth full of dirt and a body covered in bruises, I accepted that truth, and from my weakness I vowed to forge strength.
No longer would I pretend to be strong, no longer would I luxuriate in excuses. And, as time passes, I find myself increasingly at peace with focusing on my training. It has become the gravitational force that binds my reality together. The simple fact of the matter remains unchanged, regardless of Master's secrets. I will grow stronger. With that strength, I will kill Zei Sho. There is no other path. So I must commit each and every second to that journey. I have no time to spend distracted by den drama, not when all my effort must be spent on training. So I train. Relentlessly. Fighting to improve mind, body, and soul is the only focus now. The only stepping stone that leads me closer to my end goal. I must grow strong. And, finally, in the past few weeks, the fruits of my intense focus have begun to ripen.
"You could've been more efficient," Azura says, leaning against the kitchen counter.
"More efficient?" I chuckle, beaming with the success of our hunt.
"Springing off that human's shoulder? Come on… Don't tell me you've confused extravagant with effective." Her brow rises slightly as I offer a shrug. "Patience. That's what you need to learn now that you're not completely hopeless in a fight."
"Patience…" I flick my tail at the word. I've heard it many times recently. While it has its merits, I can't help wondering if she's so insistent on me using it because of the extra time it gives her to slap me around the training ring.
"If you had waited a bit longer, that human would've left you a bigger opening. You could've stolen it without being noticed, then we could've avoided such a long chase."
"You can't be sure. Better to take a chance than miss it, no?"
"How many humans have you seen focused on any single task for more than a minute?" She pulls a scarred cutting board from a drawer and pushes it towards me.
"Right…" I huff, wind sucked from my sails.
"But," my ears perk up at her optimistic tone, "I will admit, you did well. Maybe a bit sloppy, but still, Master would be proud. Especially if he saw what you brought home for dinner," she admits, filling my chest with warmth.
I can't help the wide smile, the joyous flicking of my tail. "Where is he anyways? I want to show him."
"Gone. Left early this morning, said not to expect him until next sunrise… He, well, never mind."
"What?" My smile fades as her eyes dart away from mine. "What?"
"It's nothing major… I just know how you can get," she murmurs, still avoiding eye contact. "You've been doing so well; I don't want you to get all in your head again. That's all."
"Tell me." I take a step closer, moving into her eyeline. "I promise I won't fixate." It's a promise I'm not sure I can keep.
"He went to see Jellybean." The scroll swings from my memory; its flap blares the name Zei Sho through my mind, echoing off the walls of my skull. "Didn't say why or what for…"
There's more to this. Something strange. The tension in her shoulders screams it. "But?"
"But he had this sack with him." Apprehension narrows her gaze. Something strange indeed, and not just to me, it seems.
"Sack?"
"I couldn't smell what was in it, but it clanged and rattled when he walked off. I've never seen it before, and I have no clue what he would've filled it with, but it definitely seemed like he was trying to keep it out of my sight…"
"Strange." The word squeaks out of my throat like a baby bird's first peep. Desperately, I yank on the reins of my runaway thought. Conspiracies erupt. Just as fast as I can snuff one out, another burns all the brighter. Fires of distraction test my resolve, trying to break my focus, striving to stifle my growth. I pull in a shaky breath. Azura winces like she caught a glimpse of the sudden chaos crashing and thrashing around my head. "I'm sure…" I take extra care to push the right words out. "Master has…" Another deep breath helps loosen my chest. "Perfectly normal reasons for his journey."
Azura blinks at me, eyes wide. "You are?"
"Yes."
"You're… alright?"
"It is not my place to worry about Master's affairs. Nothing more needs to be said, right? That's that," I insist, much more to myself than to her.
A relieved smirk sprouts at the corner of her snout. "Well, good. We can agree on that." She nods towards the cutting board on the counter beside me. "Besides, our dinner isn't going to cook itself, right?"
"Why don't you let me handle the meat? I was the one who snatched it, after all." I force a smile and hold it, hoping it suffocates the questions circling me like starved vultures. Just let it go. Master's secrets will not spare Zei Sho from my vengeance. Just let go.
"You know this isn't the same as a few sardines, right? This is high-quality protein, the highest. I've heard they even give it special awards and certificates."
"Awards? That makes sense." With a single claw, I slice a pawful of cat grass from its terracotta pot. "It's rare to see humans give chase for so long… I wonder what they would give for this delicacy?"
"Paper or coin. Same useless trinkets as anything else. But— Wait, hold on," she objects as I push the cat grass into her paw and step between her and the counter.
"Seriously, I can handle it." The meat is high-quality indeed. Equal parts fat and flesh, the large slab of steak slices like butter as I dice it into bite-sized portions. The smell of a fresh kill wafts from the countertop as I work, making my mouth water and helping my mind wander further from Master and his sack of mysteries. I feel Azura's gaze on me, her head hanging over my shoulder. From the corner of my eye, I can just barely make out a strange look on her face. Something like a smile, perhaps.
"You know what? You're not the same utterly hopeless stray anymore," she reflects. "You've come a long way."
Her praise is like sunbeams breaking through cold morning clouds.
She places the salad bowl down. Her golden eyes demand my attention. "Sure, you may annoy me, but far less than before. And you're getting strong. Very strong. I have to admit that I'm doing a wonderful job teaching you. Yep, you're turning out to be a pretty impressive cat, Boku."
"Boku?" I question, my skin tingling with a strange chill.
"Yeah, a nickname. Think of it as a gift. Your reward for finally proving yourself," she smiles. It is a new type of smile. One I've never seen her wear before. Its softness sweeps over me like a summer evening's breeze. "You've earned it."
I search awkwardly for words. Nothing. Instincts pull my head down, giving her a formal bow along with a crooked smirk. She laughs at me for it, then makes a show of inspecting my dicing.
"I know you're still working on your Purr," she continues, "but I think you're nearly there. Today, I sensed something in you. Just before pouncing for this steak. You're close. I can feel it."
"Close, maybe… but that's not good enough," I huff, shoving the meat cubes into the pan.
"Careful. Those don't need long," Azura notes. "And don't be impatient. I know you want to be strong, but don't rush it. Trust me."
"It's not about wanting, Azura. It is a matter of need. I must become strong. I have no other option, no other course. My path is set."
"For your family." She nods, placing a soft paw on my shoulder as I struggle to flip the sizzling meat.
"Precisely. I must restore their honor." My focus falls deep into the fire. It dances, blue to orange, licking angrily at the bottom of the pan in search of air.
"You know, I don't think you've ever really told me about them…" Her words snap me from the flame.
"You'd like to know about my siblings?" She nods softly, her paw still resting on my tense shoulder. "Well, alright… From as early as I can remember, we were together. Since kittenhood. Though of different blood, we were as true a family as there could be. I was the oldest, my sister, Chiyo, the youngest, and my brother, Oda, was the middle; although our ages were probably mere weeks or maybe months apart." Speaking of them fills me with conflicting emotions. Joyous warmth rushes through my veins as terrible sadness rips at my heart. "It's been months since I've even uttered their names aloud," I choke on the words, holding back the moisture building in my eyes.
"Chiyo, Oda, and Bokuden… sounds like a prestigious family."
"We grew up with just enough to get by, but happiness was always abundant. Being together was always enough. But, as we grew, Oda and I became the strongest cats in the alley and ended up gaining control of the territory. It was nothing extravagant, but it was peaceful, and it was home. A good home. Oda and I governed the territory with honor, taking care of neighboring cats who needed help. Truthfully, Oda cared little for governance. He was a pure hunter if ever there was one. I wish you could spar with him. I don't doubt for a moment that he would far surpass me with your training. Chiyo, on the other hand, was nothing if not a caretaker. I have yet to meet another with a heart as open as hers. She was the core of our family, of our territory. Kind, caring, virtuous, and fair. Not even you could've accused her of being a swindler or thief." Azura chuckles at that. "Together, we overcame hardship and built a happy home for ourselves and the other cats who lived in the alleyway. We even existed in harmony with the local humans and their dogs."
"They sound lovely," Azura says, slowly pulling her paw from my shoulder. "Chiyo sounds like my mother."
"Oh?" I jump at the opportunity to escape the bittersweet pain.
"Yeah… She was the best. Never an ounce of hate or bitterness in her. Not when her illness tortured her. Not even when her own clan did nothing to help. She was so trusting. So damn loving. I begged her to turn her back on them, begged her to run away with me. But she wouldn't reject her family. To her, they were always trying their best. Their evil nature was a product of misguidance, nothing more. All they needed was a little more love and understanding." Azura grits her teeth, her fangs flaring for a moment. "Look how that turned out."
Though the sources may differ, the gravity of her pain is a force I know well. I can't help but place a paw on her back. Her muscles strain, perhaps from my touch, perhaps from the weight of sadness.
"My own father was the one who made the decision."
"Decision?" I tread lightly.
"He went to the elders. Took it upon himself; there was no summons. He just wanted a stronger bloodline. He decided my mother was too fragile and convinced the family that her illness was proof of weakness, not a curable ailment. He let her suffer, let her fade within an inch of her life. I had no choice. No one in the entire world cared if my mother lived or died. No one but me. I had to do something. So I stole. I ransacked the storeroom. Took anything that could give my mother strength. Food, herbs, anything. And, when I was caught, it was my own father who ordered my execution. Only traitors raise traitors, they say. So, to save his own skin, he slit my throat himself. Watched his own daughter bleed out in front of the elders, wearing that sycophantic grin of his. Then he did the same to my mother. A selfless sacrifice to cull the treacherous blood from our godforsaken clan." Azura's claws dig deep into the counter as the cruel words hiss through her fangs. Her eyes burn with a fire hotter than the burner sizzling our steak. "I'm sure it earned him a little nice bump up the ladder. The fucker."
"That bastard." It's all I can think to say; not that it matters. Words have no power over such deep pain.
My paw finds hers. I risk giving it a gentle squeeze. Azura looks at me, surprised. Perhaps it is the understanding of loss, or the connection we have forged through our training, but something connects us. Something deep. Through that connection, I share in her pain. It's as though I can smell it. What kind of dishonorable beast could subject his own family to such tragedy? The thought of such foul turpitude fills me with disgust. Seeing the pain stored in Azura's eyes makes me sick. It wrinkles my muzzle, filling my nostrils with the stench of—
"Boku!"
The smell fills more than my nose; it rises to the ceiling in a black plume. Azura jumps past me, clamoring to the pan of cindering meat. The delectable cubes, now rendered down to smouldering charcoal, puff like temple incense.
"Shit!" Azura kills the flame. It's too late. The damage is done. Cold sweat and the heat of embarrassment wage war across my skin. Azura turns, pan in paw, countless cubes of high-quality protein coughing out their final breath. She stares at the hardened pieces as they bump together with the tilt of the pan, knocking against each other with the dryness of seasoned tree bark. Her golden glare traces its way up, ever so slowly, from the pan to me. I wince in anticipation. Whatever admonishment she has in store for me, I will accept it with quiet honor. It is the price of my failure.
Before I find the courage to speak, Azura breaks through the silence with a boisterous laugh. A smile breaks the apprehension plastered on my face. Azura doubles over, setting the stinking pan down as her laughter grows. I can't help but join in.
"I, I can't believe you let them burn," she blurts out between chortles. "Told you they didn't take long! Haha!"
Shared laughter clears the kitchen air. The acrid smoke dissipates along with the weight of our conversation. Azura indulges in a long, pleasant sigh.
"Perhaps…" I sink a claw into a cube of blackened meat and test a bite. Ashy, bitter, and metallic. The cube is inedible. I cough the sample out as quickly as I can.
"Your face!" Azura's laughter overtakes her again.
After thoroughly rinsing my palate, I join Azura on the porch, where we share a meager meal of cat grass salad and nihonshu. Even though this is our first meal without Master Chingon present, the moment feels oddly familiar. Our conversation meanders and flows like a lazy stream winding down a flowered hillside. We share mundane and thoroughly unimportant information about ourselves as the night grows late. Strangely, learning simple things about her fills me with a surprising amount of joy, like how her favorite season is spring, or how fussy kittens always find peace in her presence.
Under the lantern light, I notice more and more about her. Things that had gone unappreciated: the pristine sheen of her silky black coat, the caring hidden within her harsh exterior, the kindness in her eyes. I discover a warm buzzing in my chest each time "Boku" rolls off her tongue. And I realize we have never sat so close together. Historically, if our shoulders were rubbing, it was because she was flipping me over and pinning me to the dirt. I must say, this is far superior as far as sensations go.
As the nihonshu runs dry, I find the tingling warmth has only grown stronger with Azura's company. It's a strange feeling. I'd be tempted to call it peacefulness, but enjoying that while my enemy still breathes would fill me with too much guilt. Regardless, this must be the first time since Chiyo's death that I haven't been focused on killing Zei Sho. It's liberating. Never have I enjoyed trivial talk so much.
"He set it on fire?" I respond, laughter filling my chest.
"That's right! Can you believe it?" Azura giggles. "That's why those rocks circle the training ring—" Azura's paw knocks the empty tokkuri over. "Shit."
In sync, we both lean forward, reaching for the rolling vessel. Her paw lands atop mine. The warmth of her lingering touch causes my buzzing to crescendo. An image flashes. Glowing eyes. The Void. Swirling gold and black orb. Then I hear it, the Mikoneko's frequency. A purr simultaneously alien and inherent. I meet Azura's gaze with wide eyes. Her scent grows sweeter, her image more beautiful. The sensation envelops me.
"Boku!" She exclaims, her voice more melodic than ever. The word reverberates through my skull in maddening detail. I can see each sound wave as it travels to my ears. I can sense the energy of it, the excitement. "Your Purr!"