Benjamin shoved his fingers into a crack in the packed dirt, hauling his small, heavy frame upward. His muscles screamed. Every inch felt like a marathon, his new claws scraping against stone until he finally rolled over the lip of the pit and onto a flat, rocky ledge.
He lay there for a second, staring at the cavern ceiling. It was massive, dripping with jagged stalactites that looked like teeth. The air out here was colder, moving in a slight draft that carried the smell of woodsmoke and old grease.
'I'm really dead. That heart attack... it wasn't a dream. I died in that chair and now I'm a monster in a cave.'
The blue screen flickered back into existence, hovering right in front of his nose.
[Notice: Level 2 reached. Perception increased.]
[Tutorial phase: Navigate to the Primary Brood Chamber.]
"Hey! You!" Benjamin hissed, staring at the glowing text. "What are you? Are you a ghost? A computer? Where is the 'Exit' button on this thing? How can a system that's made to protect and help their host not do anything fucking wacky? Where's my starter pack? Where's my goddamn sword?"
The screen stayed silent for a heartbeat, the text glowing with a steady, uncaring light. Then, it blurred and reorganized itself with a sharp, aggressive static sound that made Benjamin's ears ring.
[Error: User logic loop detected.]
[Clarification: You are a Goblin. Benjamin is dead. There is no 'Reset.']
[Warning: Excessive vocalization in a stealth-required zone will result in immediate termination by Sentry units. Stop talking to the interface and move, you idiot.]
Benjamin's jaw dropped. The shock of being insulted by a floating piece of light briefly overrode his fear of the dark.
"How the fuck can a system not help me and call me an idiot? You piece of shit! You're supposed to be my cheat code, not a critic!"
The screen flashed a bright, blinding white for half a second, forcing him to squint as a fresh line of text burned into his retinas.
[Current Intelligence: 14.]
[Required Intelligence to talk back to the System: Error_Not_Found.]
[Objective: Find food or starve. I don't care which. Just move.]
'Unbelievable. I'm being bullied by a glitching UI.'
Benjamin pushed himself off the ground and crouched low, his heart still hammering against his ribs. His new perception kicked in, and he realized he wasn't alone. About thirty yards down the tunnel, a goblin larger than the one he had killed was sitting on a wooden stool. It held a crude spear made of a sharpened branch and was nodding off to sleep, its chin resting on a chest covered in matted hair.
Beyond the sentry, the tunnel opened up into a massive cavern filled with flickering campfires and dozens of green shadows moving in the dark.
'That's the den. If I walk in there as a runt, they'll probably just put me back in the pit or put me on a spit. I need to get past that guard.'
He looked at his small, green hands, then at the jagged flint he was still clutching.
'If the System is going to be a useless prick, I'll have to do it myself.'