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Chapter 17 - Chapter 15 The Things We Carry

Part 1

The afternoon sun hung low over the school grounds.

Most of the students had already left their classrooms. The corridors were gradually becoming quieter, and the long shadows cast by the buildings stretched across the pavement.

Behind one of the school buildings, Ichinose Honami stood waiting.

She glanced toward the entrance.

A few moments later, Ayanokouji Kiyotaka appeared.

He stopped a short distance away, his usual expression giving away nothing.

"Ichinose?"

Ichinose turned toward him.

"Ayanokouji-kun. Thank you for coming."

"What's this about?"

Ichinose hesitated.

Her fingers intertwined nervously in front of her.

"Well..."

She took a breath.

"I'll tell you."

Ayanokouji waited.

"I think someone is going to confess their feelings to me."

His expression changed only slightly.

"Confess?"

Ichinose nodded.

"Yes."

She looked away for a moment before continuing.

"That's why... I wanted to ask you for a favor."

"A favor?"

"Would you..."

She paused.

"...pretend to be my boyfriend?"

Ayanokouji stared at her.

There was a brief silence.

Before he could answer, footsteps could be heard approaching from the other side of the building.

Ichinose's expression changed.

"Chihiro-chan."

A girl appeared around the corner.

Chihiro Shiranami stopped when she saw them.

Her eyes moved from Ichinose to Ayanokouji.

She froze.

"Ichinose-chan..."

"Chihiro-chan!"

Ichinose took a small step toward her.

But Chihiro's gaze remained on Ayanokouji.

"Is he..."

Her voice became quieter.

"...your boyfriend?"

Ichinose immediately shook her head.

"that's—"

"We're just friends."

Ayanokouji's voice interrupted her.

Ichinose looked at him.

Chihiro also looked at him.

Ayanokouji continued calmly.

"Nothing special between me and ichinose."

Chihiro's expression loosened slightly.

"Oh..."

Ichinose looked at Chihiro.

"I'm sorry, Chihiro-chan. I brought someone else with me."

Chihiro lowered her head.

"It's okay."

But her voice didn't sound convincing.

For a moment, none of them spoke.

The afternoon wind passed quietly between the buildings.

Ayanokouji looked at Ichinose.

Then at Chihiro.

He seemed to understand enough.

"Ichinose."

"Hm?"

"Expressing your feelings to someone isn't easy."

Ichinose's eyes widened slightly.

Ayanokouji continued.

"Someone can spend every day thinking about what they want to say. They can worry about it, suffer over it, and still find that the words won't come out when the time arrives."

Chihiro's fingers tightened.

Ayanokouji looked at Ichinose.

"If someone has gone that far just to tell you how they feel..."

He paused.

"Shouldn't you give them an honest answer?"

Ichinose lowered her gaze.

Ayanokouji looked away.

"Well..."

His expression remained unchanged.

"It's not really my place to lecture you about something like this."

He turned around.

"I'll leave."

"Ayanokouji-kun..."

Ichinose called after him.

He stopped, but didn't turn around.

Ichinose seemed about to say something.

In the end, she didn't.

Ayanokouji resumed walking.

His footsteps gradually faded into the distance.

Ichinose turned back toward Chihiro.

"Chihiro-chan..."

Chihiro stood silently.

Her eyes were lowered.

And although she tried to hide it, Ichinose could already see the tears beginning to gather.

The two girls remained there beneath the fading afternoon light.

Neither of them knew what to say next.

Part 2

By the time Makoto stepped outside, the sun had already begun its descent behind the school buildings.

The campus was washed in warm orange light, long shadows stretching across the pavement as the afternoon slowly gave way to evening. Most students had already begun making their way back toward the dormitories or the cafeteria, leaving the paths noticeably quieter than they had been an hour earlier.

Makoto adjusted the strap of his bag.

Another day was over.

Nothing particularly unusual had happened.

At least—

That was what he thought.

He noticed her near one of the benches along the path.

At first, Makoto almost didn't recognize who it was.

The girl was sitting alone, her head lowered, shoulders drawn slightly inward. From where he stood, with the evening light falling across the path between them, there was nothing particularly remarkable about the sight.

A student sitting alone after school.

That was all.

Then he heard it.

A quiet sound.

Small enough that it could have been mistaken for the wind.

Makoto stopped.

His eyes shifted toward her.

"...Shiranami-san?"

Chihiro's shoulders jumped.

She immediately raised her head.

"Y-Yuki-kun?"

There was a brief moment where neither of them said anything.

Then Chihiro quickly turned her face away.

Her hand moved toward her eyes.

Too late.

Makoto had already seen.

He approached the bench, stopping a short distance away rather than sitting down immediately. Chihiro hurriedly wiped at her face, attempting to remove whatever evidence she could before the situation became any more embarrassing than it already was.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much left to hide.

Makoto reached into his pocket.

"Here."

Chihiro looked up.

A handkerchief was extended toward her.

"..."

She hesitated.

"Take it."

Slowly, Chihiro accepted it.

Makoto looked at her for a moment.

"What's wrong?" he asked. "Are you sick?"

Chihiro shook her head.

Her gaze fell back toward the ground.

"..."

The silence stretched.

Then her shoulders moved slightly.

A small sob escaped despite her attempt to suppress it.

She pressed the handkerchief against her face.

Makoto's expression didn't change.

"Did someone bother you?"

"..."

No answer.

Makoto waited for several seconds.

Still nothing.

"...I see."

He gave a small nod.

"That's good, then."

Chihiro looked at him.

Makoto turned slightly, as though preparing to leave.

"I won't ask any further."

The words came without disappointment.

Without insistence.

Without the particular tone people sometimes used when they said they wouldn't ask something while clearly hoping the other person would stop them and explain anyway.

Makoto genuinely meant it.

If she didn't want to talk about it, then that was enough.

And that was when—

"Chihiro-chan!"

Makoto turned.

A familiar voice called from further down the path.

Ichinose Honami was approaching them.

She looked slightly out of breath, as though she had been moving faster than she normally would. Her eyes immediately found Chihiro sitting on the bench.

Then Makoto.

For a brief moment, something passed across her expression.

Makoto didn't understand it.

He didn't know what had happened.

But he understood enough.

Something had happened between them.

Makoto looked back toward Chihiro.

"Shiranami-san."

Chihiro slowly raised her head.

Makoto opened his bag.

Then removed one of the containers he'd packed earlier.

He held it out toward her.

"Please take this."

Chihiro blinked.

"...Eh?"

"You can use it for dinner."

Her eyes moved from the container to Makoto's face.

"Y-Yuki-kun, I..."

"It's fine."

Makoto placed it gently beside her on the bench.

"I forced you."

"...What?"

Makoto didn't elaborate.

Whether she accepted it or not was her choice. But he had already decided that she probably needed it more than he did.

By then, Ichinose had reached them.

Her breathing was beginning to settle.

Makoto looked between the two girls once.

Then adjusted his bag.

"I'll leave first."

Chihiro looked at him.

Ichinose did as well.

Makoto gave them both a small nod.

"I hope whatever happened between you two gets resolved."

Ichinose's expression shifted slightly.

"...Yuki-kun."

Makoto paused.

"Thank you."

He looked back.

Then nodded once.

"Mm."

And with that, he continued down the path.

The orange light of the setting sun stretched ahead of him.

Behind him—

Neither Ichinose nor Chihiro spoke for several seconds.

Makoto didn't hear what happened next.

He didn't need to.

Part 3

Makoto hadn't gone far.

There was another bench several meters away from where Chihiro had been sitting, positioned beneath the shade of a tree and far enough from the fountain that the conversation behind him couldn't be heard clearly.

He sat down.

His bag rested beside him.

The evening had continued to deepen while he waited. The orange glow that had covered the campus when he first left the kitchen had gradually disappeared from the sky, replaced by a dark blue that was quickly becoming black.

The campus lights had come on one by one.

Makoto looked toward the fountain in the distance.

He wasn't listening.

Whatever Ichinose and Shiranami were discussing was their business. He had already done what he could.

If Chihiro wanted to talk, she would talk.

If she didn't, there was no reason for him to force the matter.

So Makoto simply remained where he was.

Several minutes passed.

Eventually, a figure appeared along the path.

Ichinose.

She walked toward him at an unhurried pace, her expression considerably calmer than it had been earlier.

"Yuki-kun."

Makoto looked up.

"Mm."

Ichinose stopped a few steps in front of him.

"Thank you very much for earlier."

Makoto tilted his head slightly.

"Mm. No problem."

He glanced past her.

"How's Shiranami?"

"She's already gone back to the dormitory." Ichinose smiled faintly. "Chihiro-chan said thank you for the food, too. She said she'll return your handkerchief tomorrow."

"I see."

Makoto looked down at his bag.

"Tell her to take her time. There's no need to hurry."

He paused.

"It's just a handkerchief."

Ichinose smiled.

"Okay. I'll tell her."

Makoto stood and reached for his bag.

"I should head back."

He had barely taken hold of the strap when he felt something lightly tugging at the edge of his uniform.

He stopped.

Looked down.

Ichinose's fingers were holding the edge of his jacket.

"...Yuki-kun."

Makoto turned toward her.

"What's wrong?"

Ichinose hesitated.

There was a moment where her expression seemed to change several times — as though she was deciding whether to say something, then reconsidering, then deciding again.

"Would you talk with me for a little while?"

Makoto was silent for a moment.

Then he nodded.

"Yeah. Of course."

He sat back down.

Ichinose joined him.

For a while, neither of them spoke.

The fountain continued to run in front of them, its quiet, rhythmic sound filling the spaces between their words. The last traces of evening had disappeared from the sky by now. Above the school buildings, the night stretched wide and clear, with only the campus lights illuminating the paths around them.

Ichinose looked toward the fountain.

"It's kind of strange, isn't it?"

Makoto followed her gaze.

"What is?"

"Everything."

She smiled faintly.

"We've only been at this school for a few months. But I feel like so much has already happened."

She lowered her gaze.

"And sometimes I feel like I'm slowly changing because of it."

Makoto said nothing.

Ichinose let out a small laugh.

"Ah, I'm getting sentimental all of a sudden."

She rubbed the back of her neck.

"That's embarrassing."

A moment passed.

Then she turned toward him.

"Hey, Yuki-kun."

"Mm?"

"Isn't it kind of rare for the two of us to talk alone like this?"

Makoto thought about it.

"...Yeah."

Ichinose stared at him.

Makoto looked back.

She sighed.

"Don't just say 'yeah.' You're making this even more awkward."

"Hm."

Makoto looked toward the fountain again.

"How should I answer, then?"

"I don't know. Anything would be better than that."

He thought for another second.

"I suppose you could make someone misunderstand the situation."

Ichinose froze.

"Ah..."

She looked away.

A small, awkward laugh escaped her.

"That's... true."

Makoto remained silent.

The two of them watched the water for another few seconds.

Then Ichinose spoke again.

"So..."

She folded her hands together over her lap.

"You really aren't going to ask about what happened between Chihiro-chan and me?"

Makoto glanced at her.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious."

He paused.

"But it seemed troublesome."

Ichinose nodded slowly.

"That's very like you."

She looked at him from the corner of her eye.

Then, almost casually, she said—

"Chihiro-chan likes me, you know?"

Makoto blinked.

"...Huh?"

Ichinose looked at him.

"I said Chihiro-chan likes me romantically."

"I heard you."

Makoto frowned slightly.

"You don't have to say it twice."

Ichinose covered her mouth to hide a small smile.

She had been watching him carefully.

Not obviously.

Just enough to see his reaction.

There wasn't much.

Makoto looked toward the fountain again, apparently thinking about what she'd just told him.

"I see."

That was it.

No dramatic reaction.

No judgment.

Just mild surprise followed by acceptance.

Ichinose tilted her head.

"That's all?"

"What else am I supposed to say?"

"I don't know."

She smiled.

"I thought you might be a little more surprised."

"I am."

"You don't look surprised."

"I don't think surprise requires a specific facial expression."

Ichinose laughed quietly.

"Fair enough."

She looked down at her hands.

"Please don't tell anyone, okay?"

"I won't tell anyone."

Ichinose nodded, visibly relieved.

"Thank you."

A short silence followed.

Then Makoto looked at her.

"So, what did you decide?"

Ichinose blinked.

"About what?"

"Your response to her."

"Oh."

Ichinose thought for a moment.

"Of course I rejected her."

Her voice was gentle.

"I like Chihiro-chan. I really do."

She smiled faintly.

"But that doesn't mean I can return those feelings."

Makoto nodded.

"I understand."

"I don't want to end our friendship, either."

She looked at him.

"What do you think?"

Makoto tilted his head.

"About what?"

Ichinose stared at him.

"About all of this."

Makoto considered it for a moment.

"I think that's up to you."

Ichinose's expression immediately fell.

"Ehhh?"

Makoto looked at her.

"What's wrong?"

"That doesn't sound very reassuring."

She puffed out her cheeks slightly.

"It makes you sound less reliable."

Makoto gave her a blank look.

"That's how I've always been."

He paused.

"What exactly were you expecting?"

Ichinose thought about it.

"I thought you'd be more... strict."

"Strict?"

"Yeah."

Makoto looked genuinely puzzled.

"Why would I be strict about your personal romance?"

Ichinose blinked.

Then nodded.

"That's true."

She laughed softly.

"You're right."

For a moment, neither of them spoke.

The sound of the fountain returned to fill the silence.

Then Ichinose leaned back slightly against the bench.

"Yuki-kun."

"Mm?"

"How do you see love?"

Makoto looked at her.

Ichinose quickly corrected herself.

"No. That's not what I mean."

She searched for the right words.

"I mean... how do you think people should love someone else?"

Makoto was quiet.

This time, his answer didn't come immediately.

He looked toward the fountain.

The water caught the light from the lamps and broke it into countless small reflections before disappearing back into the basin.

"I think it's beautiful."

Ichinose listened.

"And good."

Makoto rested his hands loosely against his knees.

"But you have to remember something."

He looked at her.

"Someone is free to love another person."

A brief pause.

"But the person receiving those feelings is also free to accept them or reject them."

His gaze returned to the fountain.

"You can't force your feelings onto someone else."

Ichinose nodded slowly.

"I see."

There was something thoughtful in her expression now.

Not sadness.

Not relief, exactly.

Something closer to understanding.

She remained quiet for a few seconds before suddenly standing.

"Ugh."

She stretched both arms above her head.

"I'm tired."

Makoto looked up at her.

"Thank you for talking with me, Yuki-kun."

Makoto stood as well, picking up his bag.

"You're welcome."

Ichinose lowered her arms.

"Tomorrow's Sunday, right?"

"Mm."

"Do you have any plans?"

Makoto thought about it.

"Sleep?"

Ichinose stared.

"Sleep?"

"I was planning to be lazy and relax."

"Ehhh~?"

She laughed.

"Isn't that unproductive?"

"I'm fairly certain I've earned it."

Makoto adjusted the strap of his bag.

"What about you?"

"Me?"

Ichinose smiled.

"Chihiro-chan and I promised to spend tomorrow together."

Makoto nodded.

"I see."

"Mm."

They started walking.

The path toward the dormitories was quiet now, illuminated by evenly spaced lamps beneath the dark sky.

Ichinose walked beside him, talking about tomorrow and the things they might do. Makoto listened, occasionally responding with a few words.

Behind them, the fountain continued running.

And for the first time that evening, the campus felt completely still.

Part 4

Sunday morning.

For Makoto Yuki, Sunday had one very simple purpose.

Sleep.

No classes. No study sessions. No school events. No reason to wake up early.

He had gone to bed the previous night with a modest but deeply held plan:

Sleep until noon.

At exactly eight in the morning, someone began pounding on his door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Makoto didn't move.

The knocking stopped.

Good.

He pulled the blanket a little higher and closed his eyes again.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

One eye opened.

Makoto stared at the ceiling.

"...No."

He closed it again.

The door shook once more.

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

The intensity increased.

It was beginning to sound less like someone knocking and more like someone attempting to collect a debt from Makoto, his parents, his grandparents, and possibly everyone who had ever shared his surname.

Makoto pulled the blanket over his head.

"Five more minutes."

The response was immediate.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.

Makoto remained completely still.

Perhaps if he refused to acknowledge the outside world, the outside world would eventually accept that he no longer existed.

Another barrage hit the door.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG.

Makoto slowly opened his eyes beneath the blanket.

"...Persistent."

He stared into the darkness for several seconds.

Then came a long sigh.

There were battles worth fighting.

This wasn't one of them.

Makoto pushed the blanket aside and sat up.

His hair was a complete mess. His eyes were half-open. His expression carried the vague, distant quality of someone whose body had awakened while his consciousness was still somewhere several minutes behind.

He dragged himself out of bed.

The knocking continued.

"Coming."

It sounded less like a response and more like a formal complaint.

Makoto shuffled toward the door.

He unlocked it.

Opened it halfway.

And stopped.

Kiryuuin Fuuka stood on the other side.

She was already dressed in casual clothes, looking completely awake and remarkably put together. Her hair was neat, her clothes were arranged properly, and her expression contained not even the slightest trace of sympathy for the creature currently standing in front of her.

They looked at each other.

Fuuka's eyes slowly traveled from his disheveled hair to his half-open eyes and wrinkled sleepwear.

"...You look terrible."

Makoto blinked.

"Good morning to you too."

"Get dressed."

"Why?"

"We're going out."

"No, thank you."

Makoto began closing the door.

Fuuka's foot immediately slipped into the gap.

Makoto stopped.

He looked down.

Then up at her.

"...Senpai."

"Yes?"

"Move your foot."

"No."

"I'd like to close the door."

"I noticed."

Makoto stared at her.

Fuuka stared back.

Neither moved.

Finally, Makoto spoke.

"I'm going back to sleep."

"You aren't."

"I am."

"You have plans."

"I didn't agree to any."

Fuuka smiled.

It wasn't particularly reassuring.

"Then consider this an invitation."

"I decline."

"Rejected."

"I see."

Makoto tried closing the door again.

Fuuka's foot remained exactly where it was.

Makoto looked at it.

Then at her.

"...You're very unreasonable in the morning."

"And you're very difficult to wake up."

"I was sleeping."

"I know."

"That's why I was sleeping."

Fuuka sighed.

"Just get ready."

Makoto considered her for a moment.

Then reluctantly stepped back from the doorway.

"Fine."

Fuuka withdrew her foot.

Makoto started closing the door.

"Ten minutes."

"Five."

"Ten."

"Seven."

"Eight."

"Six."

Makoto stared at her.

"You negotiated that surprisingly quickly."

"I've had experience with you."

Makoto rubbed one eye.

"Fine. Eight minutes."

"Good."

The door began to close.

Then Fuuka spoke again.

"And Yuki?"

Makoto stopped.

He looked through the narrowing gap.

"What?"

"If you say eight minutes and don't come out..."

Her smile became slightly wider.

"...you'll lose more than just the door."

Silence.

Makoto stared at her.

His sleepy expression remained almost completely unchanged.

"...Understood."

The door closed.

Fuuka remained outside.

For three seconds.

Then—

"Yuki."

Makoto's tired voice came from behind the door.

"What?"

"Don't fall asleep again."

"...I won't."

"You'd better not."

A pause.

"...Probably."

"Yuki."

No answer.

Fuuka folded her arms.

Inside the room, Makoto stood with his back against the door.

He slowly ran both hands through his already-disheveled hair, somehow making it even worse.

His eyes drifted toward the clock.

8:07 a.m.

He stared at it.

Then at his bed.

Then back at the clock.

For a brief moment, an unreasonable thought crossed his mind.

Morning Star.

He paused.

No.

Another possibility surfaced.

Megidolaon.

Makoto's expression remained blank.

Also no.

Destroying the school because someone had dragged him out of bed at eight in the morning was probably excessive.

Probably.

He exhaled slowly.

"...This is tyranny."

He picked up his clothes.

Then stopped again.

His gaze drifted toward the bed.

The bed seemed to call to him.

Makoto narrowed his eyes.

"...Don't."

He wasn't sure whether he was speaking to the bed or himself.

Either way, he began getting dressed.

End of chapter 15

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