The cold scent of antiseptic assaulted his nose, dragging his consciousness back from the bottom of the abyss.
He slowly opened his eyes. A stark white ceiling, the steady beeping of a heart monitor in his ear, and an IV drip firmly inserted into the back of his right hand. His body felt heavy and utterly exhausted, but the scorching fever had vanished.
He had woken up after a two-day coma.
And then, the horrifying memories rushed in. Everything appeared vividly in his mind.
The rain in the park. The empty liquor bottle. The pathetically weak confession. And the worst part was in the ambulance. He remembered sobbing uncontrollably, gripping Ichinose Chizuru's hand pathetically.
The heart rate on the monitor suddenly spiked. He gritted his teeth, a layer of cold sweat breaking out on his forehead.
"What the hell did I just do?"
Utter terror surged, choking his throat. The man who always prided himself on his coldness and ruthlessness, the man who swore never to let anyone step into his world again, had just personally torn open his emotional wounds and exposed them to a girl. He was terrified she would pity him. He was terrified that if he relied on that pity, one day she would turn her back and throw him away just like the person in his previous life did.
Right at that moment, a click sounded. The hospital room door gently opened.
Chizuru walked in. She wore a thin sweater, her face visibly haggard with faint dark circles under her eyes. But when she saw his eyes were open, her face lit up radiantly.
"Kazuya! You are awake!"
She dropped the bag of fruit in her hands and hurriedly ran to the bedside. She reached out her hands, intending to touch his forehead to check his temperature.
But he immediately slapped her hand away hard, turning his head in another direction violently.
Chizuru's hand froze in midair. She was stunned.
He stared out the window, his eyes cold and soulless like a block of ice. He forced his breathing to slow down, trying to rebuild the dividing wall he had personally smashed that night.
"Kazuya." Chizuru slowly retracted her hand, her voice dropping. "The doctor said you had acute pneumonia. You were in a coma for two days. Are you feeling uncomfortable anywhere? Let me go call the doctor."
"Get out."
He spoke. His voice was hoarse, dry, and freezing cold.
"Kazuya, please stop being like this," Chizuru pulled a chair and sat down next to the bed, her voice carrying sorrow and pleading. "You do not need to put up a front before me..."
"I told you to get the hell out!"
He whipped his head back, snapping fiercely. His eyes were streaked with terrifying bloodshot lines, trying to use the utmost bitterness to defend himself. "Do you think I need your pity?! Are you clinging to some nonsense I spouted while dead drunk? Open your eyes! I do not need from the first place! Stop having delusions about your position, get out of here, and leave me alone!"
Chizuru sat in silence. She stared into the eyes that were trying so hard to look ruthless but were actually overflowing with panic. She had carried him in the pouring rain, had stayed awake for two nights holding his hand, yet upon waking up, he rejected and insulted her sincerity just to run away from his own fear.
The sorrow retreated, giving way to an explosive surge of anger.
Chizuru suddenly stood up. The scraping of the chair legs against the floor was ear-piercing.
He closed his eyes, convinced she would cry and run away. Anyone verbally abused that terribly would leave. This relationship should end right here so he could be safe.
But he was wrong.
SLAP!
A blinding slap landed squarely on his cheek.
His head was knocked to the side. The strike was so hard his ears rang, the corner of his mouth stung, and a stream of bright red blood immediately gushed from his nostril, running down his chin.
He widened his eyes, turning his face back in a daze. His mind went completely overload for this.
Chizuru stood towering by the bed, the hand that just slapped him still trembling. Her light brown eyes blazed with fire, razor-sharp and carrying absolute dominance.
"Are you awake yet, you coward?!" She yelled, her resounding voice shattering his cold shell. "Do you think cursing and pushing me away makes you strong?! No! You are just a coward who does not dare to face his own heart!"
He gaped, drops of nosebleed falling onto the pristine white blanket.
"I do not have the free time to pity a self-destructive fool!" Chizuru stepped forward, pressing close to the edge of the bed. "If I wanted to abandon you, I would have left you at the park that night! You curse this world for being fake, but you are the one insulting my sincerity with this childish defense! Do not use your damn past to punish me!"
Her scolding was like sledgehammers smashing his final shield to pieces. He leaned back, intending to open his lips to retort. "What do you know..."
But she gave him no chance to use words to escape anymore.
Chizuru lunged forward, grabbing the collar of his hospital gown with both hands and yanking him hard toward her. She closed her eyes, fiercely pressing her lips tightly against his.
It was not a gentle kiss. It was rough, forceful, and overflowing with emotion. She bit his lip lightly, then deeply invaded inside, tangling with him in the wettest and most passionate kiss.
The mind of the self-proclaimed emotionless man exploded. Snap. Every nerve of rationality was severed clean.
The metallic taste of a nosebleed mixed with the soft sweetness from her lips completely crushed his will to resist. He opened his eyes in shock for the first few seconds, but then, a haze washed over him. All scheming thoughts vanished from his head. His mind went completely blank.
He unconsciously closed his eyes. The hands that were gripping the bedsheets slowly loosened, then timidly raised, touching her slender waist, pulling her flush against his body.
The kiss lingered, growing deeper and more passionate. One minute, then two minutes passed. He was completely swept along, drowning in the warmth he had craved to the point of madness but did not dare to admit. In that space filled only with their heavy breathing, the clearest and most genuine thought flashed through his mind, dispelling all doubts.
"If I let go right now, if I do not hold this girl tightly in my arms... Maybe for the rest of my life, I will never be able to trust anyone ever again."
The initial harshness and hostility vanished cleanly, making way for an astonishing softness and reliance. He returned her kiss, clumsy but full of longing.
Only when both were nearly out of oxygen did Chizuru slowly pull away. A fragile red thread stretched between their faces before snapping. She panted, her chest heaving.
He sat dumbfounded on the bed, lips parted, face blushing red all the way to his ears. The intimidating aura of a toxic person had vanished somewhere, leaving only the look of a fool drowning in the intoxication of love, along with the setting sun shining through the window, seemed to make Chizuru even more radiant in his eyes than ever before.
And for Chizuru, his image now - with the handprint still visible on his left cheek and blood still trickling from his left nostril, his eyes filled with surprise but no longer resisting - made her stare blankly, even though she knew she should help him stop the nosebleed as soon as possible.
Right at the moment they were drowning in each other's eyes, a sound came from the doorway.
He and Chizuru jumped, turning their heads toward the door in unison.
The hospital room door, which was not tightly closed to begin with, had been pushed wide open. Standing petrified right at the entrance were Grandma Nagomi, Kazuo, and Harumi. All three members of his family had their eyes wide, mouths forming an A shape, turned to stone on the spot.
Nobody knew how long they had been standing there. And they had fully witnessed the scene of a bloody slap followed by two solid minutes of ravenous kissing between the two of them.
"Oh my goodness." Grandma Nagomi stammered, covering her mouth.
Kazuo hurriedly brought a hand up to cover Harumi's eyes, coughing awkwardly. "Cough. Um. Sorry, we came at a bad time. You two carry on, no need to mind the elderly!"
Having said that, Kazuo hastily pulled his wife and the grandmother back, hurriedly slamming the door shut, leaving the fruit basket abandoned on the floor.
The atmosphere in the room was so quiet that the ticking of the clock could be heard clearly.
Chizuru's face, already red from the kiss, now burned fiercely like a ripe tomato. In a panic, she brought both hands up to cover her face, wanting to dig a hole and crawl right into it.
He was not faring much better. The man who was always confident in controlling everything was now as stiff as a log, ears burning, sweating bullets. His cold, distant image in his family's eyes had just been smashed to pieces by a violent French kiss.
Chizuru awkwardly turned her face away, hurriedly pulling a few tissues from the box on the table. She stepped closer, leaning forward, not daring to look straight into his eyes anymore.
"Raise your head a little." She mumbled, her voice tiny from embarrassment.
He obediently raised his head. She used the tissue to gently wipe away the trail of nosebleed running down his chin, sneaking a wipe at the blood smeared on the corner of his lips. The distance was so close he could clearly hear her heart pounding.
He kept his head down, avoiding her gaze, his cheeks still burning hot.
"Next time," Chizuru took a breath, trying to regain her composure even though her face was still flushed. As she wiped his blood, she whispered. "If you plan to confess or promise anything, please do it when you are sober. And don't you dare to push me away ever again..."
He blinked, stunned. She did not reject his confession from that night; she was offering him a clear chance to start over properly.
Looking at the girl who had just slapped him, kissed him, and was now awkwardly wiping his nosebleed, the corner of his lips unconsciously curled up. Not a fake, sarcastic smirk, but the warmest, most genuine smile he had ever shown.
He knew the wall of ice in his heart had finally melted completely. And this feeling, unlike before, was strangely reassuring...
...