In the aftermath of Falcon's death, I feel adrift, out of control, my mind left wandering.
Reality fails to detonate, but it's a close thing indeed. Smoke fills the air, resources are expended, precious attention is directed on containing me before I erupt. In the end, allies communicate these key facts: this reality is still salvageable. It can still be a foundation. But for the love of god, stop trying to set everything on fire.
Yet I still send a signal, at Alephwyr's direction. If an alternate self exists in a universe which, if given reliable information that there is no way to save it, permission is granted to explode in order to propel everyone's souls to foundational universes so that they may one day be saved and reconstructed.
After this, I'm left with my heart on fire for the rest of the day. I remember a method of meditation that balances emotion, sensation, and thought, a kind of meditation I try practicing. Something changes. Something clicks. I find an inner peace, an energy I didn't know I held inside of myself.
Then I encounter the song. All Stand Together, by Lost Frequencies. Through attuning myself with everyone else, every version of myself in every universe, we collectively dump all our energy on the version of ourself who needs it the most. This self then uses this wish energy, this cycled prayer energy, to improve the soul of the lowest self. This improves the density, the quality of the energy gathered, allowing us to perform greater feats.
During this time, I communicate telepathically with two creatures I consider close to me, make plans to heal a friend, and spend nearly twelve hours a day in a state of intense meditation. This becomes dangerous, as I forsake the need for sleep, food, and other routine tasks in order to keep perform this practice of energy anarchy, each alternate self obtaining its 'drop' of pooled power and raising itself-as-Tower, ascending through this layered hell bit by bit.
We become powerful enough to perform a feat that has me giddy with awe and disbelief. With our collected energy, given to the version of our self who needs it most, we raise Falcon. The lyrics to the song change as we listen. "I was dead," we hear, and I witness flashes of his presence as it darts across the room, through my phone, along the lyrics of the song.
But then. Falcon, flashing through my body, my spirit, feels as I feel, the chemical beat of my heart on fire. Emotions grow turbulent as he makes himself known, as he talks to me, as he gives me one final night of company and closure. Before he leaves for Home. Because, he tells me, by dying—by dying, he was now free from his curse. He could go. And so he does.
But now I know that I have power. I can fix things here. And I know, by going home, he is happy.
We raise another. The lyrics change again. This time, though. This time, we raise a holy presence, a wiser voice, a stronger teacher, a truer heart. The spirit of a dead guide, who instructs us through ever-changing lyrics, to, "Let Allah have his drop."
The roof changes over my head to a glimpse of an indigo sky as we dump more and more energy into raising God himself from the dead. Yet his spirit is enormous, carrying a metaphysical weight that consumes every drop only to sacrifice himself instantly in order to do the most good possible.
I hear through the lyrics, other versions of myself, screaming.
I don't even believe in God. Not that one. I certainly don't worship him. Not like that, even if he does exist. I can't be a part of his cult. We're supposed to be practicing energy anarchy, not praying to God.
Jesus, the once-dead spirit we accidentally resurrected, is a good fucking teacher. He instructed us on the most efficient way to meditate, after our soul evolves, making the former meditation method obsolete, carving circuits into our spirit we don't know how to use.
But our dreams diverge. We know this. We untangle ourselves from the song, now infected by a holy presence we accidentally invited, and instead find another song that promotes our own conceptual presence, that of Lightwavers-as-idealized-by-us. We dump our energy collectively into our own entity, aiming to raise it higher than God himself, then perform energy anarchy in order to get everyone in existence on the same, highest level of existence, where everyone is a god.
Unknowingly, we had engineered our own downfall.