This is the Royal Capital of the Heed Kingdom, a city famously named "Galtaiba"—a name the ostriches are physically incapable of remembering. Being the Royal Capital, it is the most prosperous city in the country, with countless people entering and leaving every single day.
Nobles arrive from their territories to seek an audience with the King, adventurers come to earn a living, and merchants flock here to buy and sell goods.
After all, this is the Royal Capital. Because so many people live here, it is the place with the highest demand in the entire nation. Starting from basic foodstuffs to monster materials, and even slightly niche commodities, goods are hauled in daily regardless of the hour. Because space is limited by the defensive walls built to protect the Capital, the inside is shockingly packed to the brim with buildings. It is a city somewhat unsuited for producing anything internally. Consequently, compared to other towns, the number of visiting merchants is exceptionally high.
And it was to this perpetually bustling checkpoint that a group of incredibly adorable children arrived.
Yes, you guessed it: the ostriches.
Currently, the ostrich-chan's curiosity is at an all-time high. Everything that enters their field of vision is brand new, and they are in a phase where if something looks remotely delicious by their standards, they will munch on it. But you can't really blame them. Until just the other day, they lived in a horribly harsh environment known as "the Highlands."
If you looked around back there, the Highlands was a place crawling with monsters that could easily squash them flat. Leisurely, carefree time practically didn't exist. Their daily lives were a chaotic frenzy of running around to fill their bellies or running around to escape with their lives. Well, as long as they could be with their beloved "Mama"—their leader and flock chief, Lais-chan—they were more than happy enough.
But then, they were suddenly brought to a place where humans live. It was full of things they had never laid eyes on before, and shockingly, there wasn't a single opponent around that looked like it could beat them. Back in the Highlands, if you glanced around, there were plenty of predators that would snatch an ostrich up and gulp them down in one bite. But this place was a perfectly safe haven with absolutely no natural predators. At this point... it would be rude not to frolic, wouldn't it?
And so, the ostriches played. Oh, they played so very much.
Their brains can only hold memories for about three seconds. Therefore, no matter how much they play, they always think, "I haven't played yet." In fact, there are even some kids who forget the very concept of play and have no grasp of what they are currently doing. However, it was certain that a part of their brains that had gone completely unused until now was being intensely stimulated. In other words, just a tiny bit. The ostrich-chans had become smarter—by about the margin of a single ant. Well, their memory retention remained exactly the same, though...
So, what did these slightly smarter ostrich-chans gain?
That's right! An overflowing sense of "curiosity"!
After all, everything they see is something they don't know, and since their minds go completely blank three seconds later, no matter how many times they look at something, it's a strange object they are seeing for the very first time. They want to see strange things more, they want to touch strange things more, and if a strange thing looks delicious, they want to eat it more. That is exactly the state they are currently in.
"What's that!"
"Mysterious!"
"Spinny-spinny!"
"Let's go!"
And what should appear right in front of these ostriches' eyes but the numerous carriages and humans lined up at the checkpoint. Adventurers, merchants who had come to do business in the city—all of these people entered the ostriches' field of vision. There was no way the ostriches wouldn't charge into such an interesting gathering. Unfortunately, their leader, Lais, was suffering from a drop in her commanding ability due to overwork, making their breakout an unavoidable reality.
Furthermore, it is the nature of a baby to want to do whatever someone else is doing... Ah, my apologies, that's rude to babies. It is the nature of an ostrich to try and do whatever its own kind is doing. The moment one of them moves, the others will follow, going "Me too, me too!" Before you knew it, nearly forty ostriches broke away from the flock and headed off in that direction.
"What's this?"
"What is this?"
"Perfect circle?"
Where they arrived was a single horse-drawn cargo carriage. In truth, they had seen these many times on their way here, but not a single shred of that information remained in their heads. They were intensely curious about the object. They particularly took a liking to the "wheels" necessary to move the carriage, staring at them with perfectly round, wide eyes. Well, back in the Highlands, it was virtually impossible to find such a clean circle. The fact that it was moving made it so interesting they couldn't help themselves.
"Hm? Whoa, WHOA! Where'd you all come from...? Hey, kids, it's dangerous to be that close. Move away."
The human who noticed them and spoke up seemed to be the driver of the carriage. He had grown tired of the line that wasn't moving at all—perhaps due to some trouble at the checkpoint or inside the Capital—and had been taking a quick nap. Rubbing his eyes, the man stepped down.
"Dangerous?"
"???"
"Spinny-spinny?"
"Yeah, yeah, it'll hurt if you get run over, you know? Though, just how many... there's almost forty of you. Where did you spring from? You kids, where are your parents?"
"?????"
"...Ah, you don't get it, huh. Do you know where your Papa or Mama is? A guardian or even an adult you know would be fine."
A massive crowd of children gathering outside the city, and all of them looking like they belonged to the same race. The man questioned the ostriches, thinking to himself, "Is this a group of immigrants or something?" The Heed Kingdom is a multi-ethnic nation, and there are many people who grow to hate their own countries and flee here. Since they sometimes arrive in large groups, he deduced that these must be those children.
However, among the ostriches he was speaking to, there were actually some who were the same age as the man. In this world where various races live, it is extremely difficult to derive an accurate age based solely on physique or facial features. Therefore, the merchant man had judged them to be children based on their youthful faces and the childish language they used, but unfortunately, he was dead wrong. And even more unfortunately, ostriches cannot comprehend the concept of a "Papa" or "Mama."
"Papa?"
"Mama?"
Barely, by some twist of fate, there was a specific individual who called themselves "Mama" despite being from the cross-dressing/gender-bent camp, so they had heard the word "Mama" before. However, their memories reset before that word could connect to the image of Lais. In fact, with one single exception, ostriches are creatures that can't remember the faces of their companions, let alone their own parents or children. The concept of parents does not exist to them; they only perceive others as "all the same comrades."
"Whoops... poked a hornet's nest, did I? I asked a bad question."
However, this merchant man knew absolutely nothing about the habits or intelligence level of ostriches. In other words, from his perspective, it looked as though "they had lost their parents for some reason." And that they had lost them when they were babies, before their memories could even solidify.
After all, this continent is currently in the midst of war. Tragic incidents where only children are left behind are so common they are practically a dime a dozen. He assumed they were the victims of one of those common tales. The seemingly young children didn't appear to be taking it too heavily, but the merchant felt differently. Even if the recipients didn't think anything of it, he believed he had done something awful.
Therefore, he tried to make amends.
"Ah~ tell you what. Old Uncle's home village actually has a lot of cows. So every day, I bring milk and cheese and stuff to the city to sell. Well, how about it? Have a look. I can't exactly give away the cheese, but I can spare a cup of milk for you kids."
"M-Milk?"
"Chee~?"
"What's that!"
"Oh ho, is this your first time? Well, alright then!"
With great energy, the man climbed into the back of the cargo carriage and stepped down holding a large metal jug in one hand. In his other hand, a round, yellow object—cheese—was also placed. It gave off a very, very delicious aroma.
"What's that!"
"Delicious!?"
"Yep, it's real tasty~. I don't quite have bread here right now, though. But if you put this on top of piping hot bread and let it melt all gooey? Then wash it down with milk, it's the absolute best! If this comes out for breakfast, it's the start of a perfect day. A Perfect Day that even nobles don't get to experience, I tell ya! Today is a special exception, but make sure you come buy some next time, okay?"
"Food!?"
"You bet it is!"
...If any of you reading this hold a Level 5 Ostrich Certification, you will easily understand just how dangerous that single word was.
To them, the word "Food" is directly linked to the concept of "Hunting." After all, back in the Highlands, you couldn't get a meal unless you hunted for it. Even now, having come to human society where they can eat food without doing anything, that linguistic relationship is deeply engraved into their tiny brains. After all, if you don't eat, you don't survive.
"""FOOD!!!!!"""
The exact instant the ostriches uttered that word, their switches flipped, and they went into full-throttle action. The ostriches didn't know how to open a metal jug filled with milk, but the uncle had conveniently opened one for them, and an even more delicious smell was wafting from inside the carriage. The uncle in front of them was holding it out. In other words, in the eyes of the ostriches, they could only view this as a presented gift.
And so, the ostriches moved!
"""WAAAAAA!!!!!"""
In the blink of an eye, the uncle was sent flying, and the ostriches charged the carriage. They felt like they heard a scream from the girl acting as their surrogate mother from somewhere in the distance, but the ostriches' heads were completely filled with the food right in front of them. One kid shoved their entire head into the metal jug the uncle had opened, while others rammed the carriage to bite into the cheese left inside. One kid mistakenly thought the metal jug itself was edible, bit it, and ended up with teary eyes going "It hurts..." It was utter chaos.
There was no way a cargo carriage could withstand such an ostrich-induced rampage. The axle snapped, unable to bear the weight, and the carriage slowly began to collapse. By the time the kid biting the metal jug managed to pierce a hole in it with their teeth, the carriage had already flipped completely over, spilling all sorts of things from inside.
"What is happening!"
"To arms, to arms!"
"Do not move from that spot!"
And of course, it is the way of the world that soldiers will come flying in whenever something happens.
If they were soldiers from Plaque, you could still reason with them, but the soldiers who just flew in were guards protecting the Royal Capital. They knew absolutely nothing about ostriches. An unknown species was visibly rampaging through someone else's carriage, and the man who appeared to be the owner of the carriage had been blown away by an ostrich and was currently passed out cold. No matter how you looked at it, this was a criminal offense.
The main job of the soldiers was to check various things to ensure bad people didn't enter the town, but it was also their duty to respond when trouble broke out. Following the manual drilled into their heads during training, they leveled their spears at the targets and ordered them not to move.
"Enemy!?"
"Enemy!!!"
"Defeat them!"
However, the ostriches knew absolutely nothing about human rules. From their perspective, much like the incident at the fruit shop in the past, they only understood that a kind uncle had given them food as a present. Yet, suddenly, enemies appeared, wielding dangerous-looking things—weapons—and trying to attack them. They were clearly enemies trying to steal their food.
The ostriches thought: For reasons we've forgotten, there are enemies trying to steal our food. In our homeland, the Highlands, it's a world where the strong take all. If they are coming to take it by force, let's punish them a whole lot so they can never steal it again. Because if we do, the amount of food will increase.
It was a truly explosive situation. Just as the soldiers moved and the ostriches' unstoppable slaughter was about to begin—
"STOP IT!!!"
A voice rang out from behind.
The ostriches still hadn't dropped their battle stances, but sensing something, they halted their movements. The soldiers also turned around to see who had approached from behind.
"Soldiers, lower your spears! Those individuals are my guests!"
"A-Ah, that is!"
"Y-Your Majesty!?"
"U-Understood!"
To everyone's surprise, appearing there on a pure white horse was a little girl. The most famous person in this country—yes, Her Majesty the Queen. She wore a large, adult-sized crown that clearly didn't fit the size of her head, and was clad in incredibly luxurious clothing. She made her grand entrance accompanied by a swarm of bodyguards and the old Grand Prime Minister.
The soldiers had never seen the Queen in person before, but they knew she was a little girl. Seeing someone wearing a crown and leading knights clad in ridiculously powerful-looking armor, it was obvious at a glance that this was the ruler of their country. They immediately knelt on the spot and bowed their heads.
"Members of the 'Ostrich' flock as well! Leave this matter to me—HIYEEERKKH!!!"
The young Queen, who had glanced at the soldiers as they immediately disarmed and was about to call out to the ostriches, accidentally shrieked out of sheer terror. Then, her brain solemnly shut down to protect her psyche, and she fainted. Furthermore, the thumping sounds of knights falling off their horses echoed from behind. The riding knights, and even the horses they were riding, politely fainted together. Ah, and of course, the old Prime Minister collapsed too.
But you couldn't blame them.
After all...
"Y O U U T T E R F O O L S ! ! ! !"
Venting a blood-red aura from her entire body out of sheer rage, a monster stood there—one whose leaking magical power instantly transformed the weather from a clear sky into a dark, overcast gloom. A thoroughly enraged Lais-chan was right there.
It was as if the terrifying image of a dragon, far scarier than any jittery ostrich, was manifesting behind her.
Her face was twisted, her eyes slanted upwards with maximum fury like a Hannya demon, and her mouth was snapped wide open, revealing sharp, pointed fangs...
Yep! She's even scarier than last time! ☆
"""W-W-WE'RE SO S-SORRYYYYY~~~!!!"""
Ah, what a powerful sense of déjà vu.
◇◆◇◆◇
"Sob! Sob!"
"We're sorry..."
"Are you okay?"
Ahhhhh... did I get a little too angry? There are some kids crying their eyes out. Ah, yeah, yeah. You, the one who just looked over here? Ah, as I thought, it's Dere. Yes, yes, Dere-chan. Bring that sobbing kid over to my lap, would you? Yes, yes, good job. Let Mama comfort you~.
"Look, I'm not mad anymore. I'm not mad."
"...Really?"
"Yes, really, really. ...Once you calm down a bit more, let's go say sorry to the merchant uncle and the soldiers, okay?"
"A-About that. I-I'm perfectly fine, so..."
"Is that so? But I'm sorry, could you wait just a little bit longer? I have to teach these kids how to apologize properly. I'll be buying up the cargo and the carriage from earlier, plus additional emotional damages, and I'll throw in even more on top of that, so can you wait?"
"A-Ah... Y-Yes ma'am..."
The merchant man looked incredibly pale, having been completely overwhelmed by my lingering anger. No, really, I'm sorry, okay? We'll settle everything in just a moment. ...Even so, this milk and cheese we bought from him... it's really delicious. I tried a bit of it, and the quality is incredibly high, isn't it? Maybe I should set up a large-scale contract with him later. It's highly nutritious, and if it's this tasty, I want the other kids to try it too.
(Even so... I went and did it again, didn't I?)
Because fatigue had been building up, it felt like my brakes had completely broken, and I had gotten genuinely angrier than before. A considerable number of people in the surroundings had collapsed with thuds, and it felt like it had turned into quite a massive accident. I don't think it's wrong to scold them when they do bad things, but due to the fatigue and stress, I feel like I overdid it. I really need to reflect on that part...
Currently, we were on standby a little ways away, and Matilde-san and the soldiers who came from Plaque had met up with us halfway to handle the situation at the scene.
(Also, I feel like a crown-like object and a little girl were rolling around earlier too... but well, it must be my imagination. I also felt like the ground was a bit damp, but it seems Matilde took that child into protective custody. The "bad, scary monster" has made her retreat.)
"...Nn."
"Oh? Look like you're feeling a bit better? Well, you still seem a bit downcast, but... let's go say sorry while we can. We can hold the reflection meeting after that."
The kids still weren't in top form, but their mental states had recovered enough for them to move. I made all the kids involved in the incident stand up and have the merchant man accept their apology. He looked incredibly humbled and intimidated, but he accepted it... right? No, really, thank you. Also, could you wait just a little bit longer? I left the money with Matilde... Ah, you're going to go get it yourself?
Saying that, the merchant man practically ran away from the spot. ...Well, I suppose it can't be helped. As an apology, once we get back to Plaque, I'll ask Alan, our purveyor merchant, to arrange regular purchases of that man's goods. I gave him a terrible scare, so I have to do at least that much.
"Hm, someone's coming... Oh, Matilde! What's wrong? Is everything wrapped up?"
"Ah, no, that matter isn't quite finished yet. However, the Royal Palace? Is it the Royal Palace? Well, a message came down from the higher-ups asking if we could postpone the conference until tomorrow. They said the location can be of your choosing as well. Is that alright with you?"
"Oh, really? It's completely fine. In fact, it's actually a huge help."
Honestly, I didn't feel like I could handle complicated discussions in my current state anyway. I had been wishing for a break, and with this body's recovery rate, I should be able to bounce back reasonably well as long as I get a solid night's sleep. So as far as I was concerned, it was great, but... is it really okay? I could have sworn they said they wanted to do it immediately upon our arrival at the Capital. Did something happen over there?
"Well, if you ask whether something happened, I suppose it did... (I can't exactly tell her that the ruler of a nation fainted from sheer terror and soiled herself in multiple ways...) A-Anyway, please don't worry about it. Also, I still have work to do, but the soldiers under my command should be able to pack up shortly. Once they are done, we will pitch lodging tents over here, so please wait a little while."
"Ah, yeah, thank you. Tell them they can take their time."
"Much appreciated, well then!"
With that, she quickly headed back toward the Capital.
Well, at any rate, it meant our work wouldn't start until tomorrow...
"Time to rest."
Comment from the young Queen Regnant, who was transported to the Royal Palace at maximum speed by Matilde because she had soiled herself in various ways:
"......I hate this."
...I-It's okay! There are famous military commanders in history who retreated while leaving behind a "heavy load" in their pants too...!