What a loaded question.
On par with the classic "if your mother and your girlfriend both fell into the sea, who would you save" — though Shin wanted to point out he could save both of them at once, since he could just generate two orca-shaped extensions from his body mass and—
But whether he could do that and whether the two parties would accept that as an answer were entirely different problems.
[Moon Princess]: Someone help! I am formally lodging a complaint — there is an abusive mother-in-law in this household!
[Moon Princess]: Is nobody going to do anything about this? I am the Moon Princess of the Lunar Capital — I just walked through the door and before I've even had a cup of tea, this mother-in-law is already making things difficult for me. That stare of hers was ready to skin me alive!
Though the real confrontation was still ongoing, Kaguya was already filing grievances in the group chat.
[Spreading Witch Factors]: Oh, is that right. And does your conscience not bother you at all after what you just did? Merrow is a child I raised from the beginning. You waltz in the door and immediately make her cry — and then you have the nerve to play the victim?
[Moon Princess]: Hang on, hang on — I genuinely meant well, you haven't even heard the full story before you started pointing fingers!
[Moon Princess]: And another thing — from the moment I stepped through that door, I've known something was off about you, mother-in-law!
This last line drew the other spectating group members instantly out of the woodwork.
[Lord of the Lands Between]: Oh? Off how?
[Queen of Britain]: Where exactly has Great Witch been going wrong? I'm listening with interest.
Like spectators who couldn't get enough blood sport — even the two queens leaned in as eager audience members.
Meanwhile, in reality, Shin stared at the less-than-two-metres of distance between the Great Witch and the loli Kaguya, then looked at the group chat, and could only feel a profound sense of fatigue.
You know what, forget the chat — at this distance you might as well just fight it out. That would be more dignified than bickering in the group.
[Moon Princess]: Based on my tens of thousands of years of life experience — ahem — call it extensive reading, the way this mother-in-law of mine looks at her son is deeply abnormal.
[Moon Princess]: Those eyes — that is not how a mother looks at a son. That is how someone looks at a child they've raised up as a future husband. It's that kind of exclusive possessiveness — like wanting to swallow him up whole but not daring to open your mouth.
[Moon Princess]: Mother-in-law, might you be one of those legendary "devouring mothers"? The kind who raises a child and treats them as personal property, and perhaps even harbours certain… unspeakable private desires…
"Y — you are spouting absolute nonsense!"
The Great Witch finally broke — in the real world, not just in the chat.
The pallor so characteristic of the Witch bloodline flushed visible crimson from her cheeks to the tips of her ears. The look on a girl's face — more eloquent than anything she could have said.
She cut off the levitation spell and landed on her feet, staring at Kaguya — then noticed Kaguya's gaze slide to her expression for one fraction of a second, and a smile of pure, effortless triumph cross the Moon Princess's face.
Merrow: ???
The little nun stared in complete bewilderment, unable to comprehend why the Great Witch she so deeply respected had abruptly become this undone.
At this point, Shin was about at the end of his rope.
"Oh, she's completely lost it, she's completely lost it~"
"My dear, you'd best be careful — your mother's heart isn't entirely clean, I'm afraid. Don't worry, I'll protect you~"
Shin: ...
He was genuinely spent.
He absolutely did not want to keep listening to this three-star domestic drama.
To divert attention, he plunged directly into his inner consciousness and began examining the newly upgraded chat group Level 4.
And once he started looking, Shin did find quite a few things he hadn't noticed before.
For one — in addition to the red packet feature, there was now a new "Mission Plaza" tab.
[Basic Mission List]
[Non-Human Trait Escort — Prometheus Tablet]: Travel to an unknown-timeline Earth Japan to escort a stone tablet to the opposite end of the Earth, in Rome. Difficulty: B++. Time remaining: 30 days.
[Non-Human Trait Recovery — Saint's Corpse]: Travel to an unknown-timeline Earth Americas to recover scattered Saint's Corpse fragments. Difficulty: C++ ~ B+. Time remaining: 15 days.
Two missions had appeared in the Mission Plaza.
The first, Shin was fairly sure — if he wasn't mistaken — was a world swarming with those who don't bow to any god. Dangerous, but an excellent place for rapid power growth.
The second, however…
[Non-Human Trait Recovery — Saint's Corpse]
Maximum participants: 2.
Reward: 1,500 ~ 5,000 points, or the Saint's Corpse itself.
Looking at this mission, Shin's mind instantly went back to before.
Heaven-Attained DIO. The one who had nearly hurt Merrow. The one responsible for everything going wrong in that mission.
A soldier may be defeated today, but tomorrow is another day. Previously, seeing Heaven-Attained DIO meant grabbing Merrow and running. What was appropriate now?
Rather than standing here listening to the Great Witch and Kaguya trade verbal jabs, he might as well go reclaim some dignity from that earlier loss first.
The thought had barely formed before Shin made his decision.
He switched directly to his main account — [Yearning to Become the Perfect Human Being] — and pressed [Accept].
[System Message: [Yearning to Become the Perfect Human Being] has successfully accepted the mission [Non-Human Trait Recovery — Saint's Corpse]. Remaining slots: 1.]
"Mother. Kaguya. Stop arguing."
Shin lifted his head and interrupted them both.
"I have something important to say."
Both went quiet at once — the combat-mode consciousness that had been running in the group chat snapping back to reality in the same moment.
"I just accepted a standing mission from the group."
"It's to deal with the entity that attacked me and Merrow last time. Participant limit is two people — so, if you want to come—"
At these words, the Great Witch and the loli Kaguya's expressions changed simultaneously.
The Great Witch didn't need to be told twice. Shin had already told her who he truly was in the group chat.
And Kaguya, after merging with Yachiyo's memories, naturally also knew that Shin was [Yearning to Become the Perfect Human Being].
The two women looked at each other. Whatever hostility had been in their eyes a moment ago transformed, in an instant, into the exact same urgency.
"Saint's Corpse… participant limit of two?"
Kaguya, as the more experienced veteran, immediately spotted the key detail.
Those crimson eyes lit up. The corner of her mouth curved into a smile that said this is already mine. She gave Shin an elegant curtsey.
"As my dear's wife, how could I possibly be absent from a moment of revenge?"
Meanwhile, on the other side, the Great Witch was absolutely not going to yield.
"What are you getting involved in — I'm the one who drove that thing off last time. So obviously you know who to bring, don't you, Shaya?"
Motherly affection, bridal rivalry — all of it was instantly swept aside.
"It's not up to me who comes," Shin said, a little helplessly.
"I'm just saying — whoever wants to come can go and accept it themselves—"
[Ding! [Spreading Witch Factors] has successfully accepted the mission.]
Evidently, before Shin could even finish the second half of his sentence, the Great Witch — who had apparently read his thoughts through her mindreading ability — had already moved a full step faster.
The Great Witch let out a long, satisfied exhale. The flush from before receded, replaced with unmistakable smugness as she glanced at the loli Kaguya beside her — who was just now trying to invoke her "Eternity" ability.
Under normal circumstances, Kaguya's Eternity carried the property of "the instantaneous" — theoretically, nothing should have been able to outpace her in terms of reaction speed.
Unless the other party could predict the future before it happened.
"It seems," the Great Witch said, "that when it comes to knowing her own child — a mother's understanding runs a little deeper."
Shin: ...
Today's household showdown. Victor: his loli-mother, the Great Witch.
To be continued…
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