Chapter 10
You Can Only Go to High School Once… Again.
Jake stared at the school building.
"…This is a mistake."
The campus was enormous.
Red-brick academic wings.
Modern glass science labs.
Cherry blossom trees lining the walkway.
A football field.
A gothic clocktower.
A suspiciously anime-looking rooftop.
It looked like someone mashed together:
A CW teen drama
Three slice-of-life anime
Two harem rom-coms
And a superhero training academy
And hit "yes" on all design prompts.
Kara adjusted her backpack strap.
"You'll be fine."
"That's what people say before disasters."
Mew peeked out of the top of his bag.
Pink ears barely visible.
Jake pushed it down gently.
"You are not attending orientation."
"Mew."
"No."
The Parking Lot Incident
He had insisted on driving himself.
Big mistake.
As he stepped out of the car—
The rear door slowly creaked open.
Jake froze.
He turned.
From the backseat unfolded a familiar pale face with twin braids and zero detectable enthusiasm.
Wednesday Addams blinked at him.
"…You're carpooling now," she stated.
Jake stared.
"How did you get in my car?"
"You left it unlocked."
"That's victim-blaming."
"You're correct. I'll try harder next time."
Kara closed her own door calmly.
"You could've just asked for a ride."
Wednesday stepped out of the car like she'd always belonged there.
"I wanted to test his perimeter awareness."
Jake pinched the bridge of his nose.
"I failed, didn't I."
"Yes."
Mew popped its head out again.
Wednesday looked at it.
"It's watching me."
"It watches everyone," Jake muttered.
"Mew."
Wednesday leaned closer to the bag.
"You're not from here either."
Jake stiffened slightly.
"You can tell?"
"I can tell when something is pretending."
Mew blinked at her.
Then slowly rotated upside down.
Approval.
"…Great," Jake sighed. "The psychic cat likes the goth."
Enter: Amalgam Academy
The hallways were chaos.
Lockers slamming.
Clubs recruiting aggressively.
Student council banners.
Cosplay that absolutely was not cosplay.
Jake stopped walking.
"…No."
Across the hall—
A boy with messy brown hair adjusted his backpack while three very different girls orbited him like gravitational inevitability.
One with fiery red hair, confident smile.
One blonde, poised, observant.
One silver-haired with a playful smirk.
Jake squinted.
"You have got to be kidding me."
Peter Parker looked tired.
But not broken-tired.
Just… emotionally overextended.
Clinging to him—
Mary Jane Watson laughed at something he said.
On his other side—
Gwen Stacy adjusted his collar gently.
Leaning slightly behind him—
Felicia Hardy smirked like she knew something the others didn't.
Jake stopped walking entirely.
"…He's a harem protagonist."
Wednesday followed his gaze.
"Yes."
"He earned that."
"Yes."
Kara glanced over.
"He looks… healthier."
Jake nodded solemnly.
"After everything his writers put him through? Let the man rest."
As if sensing the stare, Peter looked over.
Their eyes met.
There was a moment.
A silent understanding.
Peter blinked.
Jake gave him a small nod.
Peter nodded back.
Brotherhood of the Narratively Suffering.
Then MJ tugged his sleeve.
Felicia whispered something mischievous.
Gwen smiled reassuringly.
And Peter was swept away.
Jake exhaled slowly.
"…Good for him."
The Madness Expands
He turned a corner.
Immediately collided with:
A student council president who radiated final-boss energy.
A shy bookworm tripping over her own feet.
A delinquent girl chewing gum with suspicious combat reflexes.
A magical girl arguing about club funding.
Two DC sidekicks debating gym class policy.
A transfer student who absolutely screamed "secret demon contract."
Jake looked at Kara.
"This is a genre war."
"It's integration," she corrected.
"No. This is someone clicking 'include all tags.'"
Wednesday walked between two arguing students without breaking stride.
"They're all pretending this is normal," she said.
"That's the scariest part," Jake replied.
Mew teleported out of the bag.
Jake gasped.
"NO."
Too late.
The pink cat hovered midair.
A cheerleader screamed.
A tech-club kid gasped in delight.
A magical girl narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
Peter Parker looked over again.
"…Is that a Pokémon?" someone asked.
"It's not a Pokémon!" Jake hissed.
"Mew," the cat replied proudly.
Dead silence.
Every anime-adjacent student within earshot froze.
One girl dropped her bento box.
"…He just said Mew," she whispered.
Jake slowly picked the floating cat out of the air.
"It's a regular cat," he lied poorly.
"It levitated," someone countered.
"Glitches happen."
Kara stepped forward smoothly.
"Therapy animal," she said calmly.
Everyone hesitated.
That worked disturbingly well.
Wednesday glanced at Jake.
"You're deteriorating."
"It's been forty minutes."
Locker Assignment
Jake opened his assigned locker.
Inside was—
A note.
Of course.
He unfolded it.
High school is not about survival.
It's about choice.
Don't default to background character.
— G
Jake frowned.
"G?"
Wednesday leaned over.
"Gomez doesn't do subtle."
Kara tilted her head.
"Maybe not him."
Jake stared at the note.
"…I just wanted to pass math."
Mew patted his cheek gently.
Encouraging.
From down the hall—
Peter Parker got dragged into what looked like a cafeteria scheduling conflict that somehow involved emotional tension and slow-burn subplots.
Jake watched.
"…This place is a narrative battlefield."
"Yes," Wednesday said flatly.
He shut his locker.
"Okay."
Kara raised an eyebrow.
"Okay what?"
"I'm not becoming a background character."
Mew purred loudly.
Wednesday nodded once.
"Good."
Jake looked around the chaotic hallway again.
Superpowered sidekicks.
Rom-com misunderstandings.
Hidden identities.
Club rivalries.
Multiversal crossovers.
He adjusted his backpack.
"…Fine."
He took a breath.
"You can only go to high school once."
He glanced at Wednesday.
"…Again."
She gave him the faintest almost-smile.
"Try not to peak too early."
No promises.
Down the hallway—
Someone shouted about a rooftop duel after school.
Peter Parker sighed deeply.
Felicia smirked.
MJ rolled her eyes.
Gwen tried to mediate.
Jake squared his shoulders.
"This is going to be insane."
Kara smiled faintly.
"Yes."
Mew floated upward dramatically.
All hail Mew the First.
Agent of adorable chaos.
Kingmaker of genres.
And today—
Homeroom awaited.
End of Chapter 10.