SF Chapter 150: The One with Friends II
Later that day, Amanda had already gone back to her room. Dani gave Prudence a quick kiss.
"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" he asked again, since she had said she would stay in the hotel room.
"Yes, I decided to study," she said, already picking up a book.
He winced. "Ew, Prudence, don't tell me you're a bookworm. A nerd? A Hermione Granger or Lisa Simpson?"
"Not really," she replied amused. "Although I'm in the top three at my school," she added nonchalantly.
"But number one in the looks department - and sexiness," Dani countered with a gesture.
Prudence simply blew him a kiss.
Then she revealed, "The reason I'm studying is to fast-track my graduation."
"Forget waiting until the middle of the year - I want to come back to the U.S. as soon as possible."
Dani raised an eyebrow at the idea of her finishing boarding school earlier.
"Do you want me to hire a private tutor? A really hot, smart chick to help you out?" he offered.
"No need, I think I can handle it," Prudence said. "But I have my boarding school uniform with me. Maybe you can get yourself a pair of fake glasses and pretend to be a teacher?"
"You are a genius, what an amazing idea," he said as he attacked her lips.
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Dani went to his cousin's house.
Besides his cousin and Rachel, the usual gang were there: Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Ross.
After dinner, they were watching TV.
"Oh, she's coming up. She's coming up," Rachel remarked eagerly, as the interview started on the show.
On screen, David Letterman announced. "Folks, when we come back... we'll talk about her new book, Euphoria Unbound, with the always-interesting Nora Tyler Bing."
"Put the kids to bed for this one," he added sarcastically.
Rachel nudged Dani. "See? I think you should go to bed."
"Why, Rach? Already had sex today..." he retorted sassily.
"Ha, me too," Joey chuckled, making a thumbs up to him.
Monica just rolled her eyes at the duo.
Chandler, who hadn't been paying attention to what they were saying and was still staring fixedly at the TV, picked up the remote control.
"You know, we don't need to watch this. Weekend at Bernie's is on Showtime, HBO, and Cinemax," He tried to dissuade everyone from continuing to watch.
Rachel slapped his hand before he could change the channel. "No way."
Joey chimed in, "Come on. She's your mom."
"Exactly," Chandler agreed. "Weekend at Bernie's!"
"Dead guy getting hit in the groin 20, 30 times. No?"
He ended up going to the kitchen, noticing that everyone was glued to the TV.
Rachel got up and followed him. "Chandler, I gotta tell you... I love your mom's books. I love her books."
She went on, "I can't get on a plane without one."
Dani turned around on the couch and mocked her. "Whoa, Rach, so you get all horny during flights?"
The blonde just shot him a glare.
"Come on, Chandler," Ross tried to argue as well. "I love your mom. I think she's a blast. She's the..."
But Phoebe shushed him. "Hey, hey, hey. She's on."
"Before we get to the book, what is this about you being arrested in London? What is that about?" Letterman asked Nora.
Monica turned to her friend. "Chandler, your mom was arrested?" she asked in disbelief.
"Shh," Chandler said with a mocking smile. "I'm busy beaming with pride."
The interview went on, and Nora started sharing some of her personal quirks. "This is kind of embarrassing... but occasionally, after I've been intimate with a man..."
"I just get this craving for Kung Pao chicken," she revealed.
"That's too much information!" Chandler yelled, making an angry face.
"Ha," Dani suddenly gestured toward the TV.
Monica stared at him. "What?"
"I just remembered there was Chinese food in the fridge, from when Chandler's mom came over to Charlie's house that night."
"Thanks, man." Chandler said dryly.
"Oh, come on, Chandler, you already knew this. And that's not a big deal, the Kung Pao, or my brother..." Dani dismissed.
The interview continued. "So now you're doing this book tour thing. How's that going?"
"Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate. But I get to see my son, who I love."
"See, Chandler?" Dani pointed at the TV as if he were right.
"You know, don't take this the wrong way, I just don't see you as a mom somehow," David Letterman remarked. "I don't mean that badly."
"Oh, no. I'm a fabulous mom. I bought my son his first condoms," Nora replied nonchalantly.
"You were saying?" Chandler made a face.
"Oh, mine bought me condoms too," Dani replied unfazed. "I even joked, 'Huh, you got the right size, mom - extra-large.'"
"And she replied, 'I assumed you got like your father.' Then she added, 'What? Darling, why do you think I stayed married to him for three years?'"
"That's Aunt Evelyn for you," Monica murmured.
[Rachel, Dani and Monica commentary]
The trio were sitting on the couch in Monica's apartment two days after the interview.
"We had dinner with Chandler's mom yesterday," Rachel said excitedly. "And I got inspired to start writing!" She held up a few pages.
"That's amazing, go for it!" Dani encouraged her, picking up one of the copies.
Monica, who was already reading, asked, "What's a 'niffle'?"
"And..." she paused, "'huge, throbbing pens'?"
Dani also read, and remarked, "Don't worry, Rach, I published my first book when I was thirteen."
"So it's okay that you never finished high school."
Rachel made an offended face.
"I have a college degree!" she stated, hitting him with the paper.
"Really? God, our education is so screwed..." he muttered.
She shot him a glare.
"Don't worry, Rach, an editor would quickly fix all five of these incorrectly conjugated verbs... three tense errors... many typos... on the first page."
[Commentary ends]
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