SF Chapter 11: TAHM Pilot V
Evelyn continued her rant against Alan.
"I'm here to help your brother through a very difficult time." She looked at her other two sons. "How could you do this to me?" Evelyn asked indignantly.
"Do what?" Alan was completely confused.
She explained it in her own egocentric way. "Now when I want to see my grandson, I'm going to have to make an appointment with Judith, who, let's face it, was never very warm to me."
"One wonders why," Charlie muttered dryly.
"But I do, a little," Daniel commented to his brother. "Judith could easily be the lost daughter. The fifth one. The fifth element of The Sisters."
"Well, she did seem very similar to my oldest one," Evelyn agreed, deepening the venom when speaking about DeDe.
"The one you got married to her ex-husband?" Charlie couldn't hold back his cynicism.
Evelyn glared at him, then scolded the one beside him. "Why are you laughing, Daniel? If it weren't for that, you wouldn't have been born," she pointed out dryly.
He made a strange face. "Since when is it necessary to get married to have a child?" he added. "And I wouldn't care if I was a summer's mistake." He laughed, completely lacking common sense.
She decided not to get into a war of logic with her son and returned to the main problem. "And what if there's another man there? Shacking up with Judith? Have we even stopped to consider that?"
"I think he's considering it now, Mom," Charlie remarked, seeing Alan's face.
Then Jake arrived with a glass in his hand. "Here's your iced tea, Grandma."
"Thank you, my little angel," his grandmother said, but she quickly glanced at it and sent him back. "Darling, I asked for a lemon wedge."
"All right. Here's what you're going to do. You and Jake will come live with me," she proposed. "After all, I'm just rattling around in that big house all by myself." She glanced at the youngest.
"You're the one who was always complaining, Mom," he pointed out. "Daniel, not with the neighbor's daughter... Daniel, not with my friend's twin daughters... Daniel, not on the couch..."
Alan tried to break the awkward mood - at least for himself and his mother, as Charlie was completely proud of what Daniel had said, no surprises there - responding to her invitation.
"That's very considerate, but as soon as Judith and I work things out, I'm going to be back at my own house."
"Sweetheart, grow up," she scolded him as if he were twelve. "Think about what I said. You're my son, and I'll always have room for you in my house and in my heart."
Daniel was the first to speak, making a heart with his hands. "I love you, Mom."
That made her take a deep breath.
"I love you too, Mom," Alan followed.
Then Evelyn slowly turned, since a third one still hadn't said anything. After they looked at each other for a moment, Charlie finally said, "I love you too, Mom."
"Too little. Too late." Evelyn gave a poised smile and walked away.
"Hey, now that I think about it, it actually got pretty easy for Mom, since all four Harpers are here - we might end up seeing her a lot more," Daniel pointed out casually, while Charlie groaned loudly.
"It's like a crocodile spotting a herd of zebras," Alan observed a little fearfully.
Daniel stood up and said, "Bros, it's time for me to do a little work."
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A few days passed. Alan had gone out to dinner with his future ex-wife, while Charlie had gathered a few friends, and they were all sitting around the living room table playing poker.
Drinks and cigars were scattered everywhere.
"How come you don't play, Uncle Dan?" Jake stood next to him, watching the whole game.
"He cheats," one of the guys at the table commented.
"I do not!" Daniel said emphatically. "It's just because I'm good at magic, Jake." He then showed the card in his hand - a five of hearts - and made it turn into a five of clubs.
"Whooa, cool!" his nephew beamed at the magic trick.
"Always good against kids and chicks," he declared, taking a sip of the whiskey on the rocks he was holding - almost mandatory at a poker game, even if he wasn't playing.
At least he didn't light up a Cuban cigar, since Jake was there.
"All right, last card, down and dirty," the dealer announced. "King's bet."
"$1," the guy to Charlie's right bet.
"I'm in."
"In."
Now it was Charlie's turn, and he declared, "I'll see $1 and raise it $5."
"You raised $5 on that?" Jake said, astonished, looking at his uncle's cards.
"I call."
"I call."
"Queens full of nines." Charlie showed his hand.
One of the guys who had called asked, annoyed, "Kid, don't you know what a full house is?"
"Yeah," Jake nodded. "And I also know what a psych-out is."
His uncle gave him a high five. "I love this boy."
"That's our nephew!" Daniel added, amused, giving him a quick ruffle of his hair.
After a while, Charlie ended up giving his seat at the table to his nephew.
"And I'll raise you $20," a rough-looking guy said, staring at Jake.
Charlie whispered to his nephew, "I think he's got you, pal."
"He's bluffing," Jake muttered back, explaining, "He always pulls his ear when he bluffs."
The guy stared at Jake again. "How about it, Mighty Mouse? You in?"
"Take him down," Charlie ordered.
"Call," Jake smirked, earning a frustrated, "I hate this kid."
"What the hell is going on here?" Alan appeared in the kitchen, looking angry and disbelieving.
"You said 'hell,'" his son pointed out.
One of the guys explained, "Throw $1 in the pot."
"What?" Alan made a face.
"Hey, we all had to," another one stated resignedly.
Alan ignored it and gestured emphatically toward the deck. "Charlie, Daniel, may I speak with you privately, please?"
"Whose deal is it?" Jake started to ask, but was immediately cut off by his father's shout. "Jake, go to bed!"
"I'm out," he folded his hand and ran to his room.
Out on the deck, Alan was furious. "What is wrong with you? Are you insane? Do you have any sense of right and wrong?"
"Probably not. How was dinner?" Charlie asked, not caring about anything else.
"How could you put Jake in a poker game with grown men?"
"Don't worry, Alan," Daniel dismissed. "They're just ugly. But they're nice guys."
Alan shot him an angry glare.
"So, how was dinner?" Charlie tried again.
"I leave you alone with him for a couple of hours..."
The oldest insisted, "I'm just gonna keep asking, Alan."
"Dinner was swell. We both had the veal piccata - and she's gay!"
"Wow. Most chicks won't eat veal," Charlie tried to lighten the mood.
"Why do I even try talking to you?"
"Look at the bright side, Alan," Daniel said. "At least you're not at fault for your failed marriage. Unless you want to cut off your little John and add some boobs..."
"Whoa, whoa, let's not give anyone nightmares here," Charlie cut him off.
"Why do I even try with you two?" Alan scoffed, then walked off to his bedroom.
"Oh well, Third Bro needs some time to cool off," Daniel murmured, not taking it personally. "Now, excuse me, Charlie, Lauren is waiting for me in my room."
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