Please Just Look at Me Once
"Director. Honestly, as a parent, I'm worried. He's acting all confident because he's talented, and sure, people keep telling him he's great—but the Major Leagues aren't exactly an easy place, are they? Still… as a parent, what can we really do besides trust him and support him?"
My father, looking much younger, spoke with a firm expression.
Am I still half-asleep?
Everything feels strangely vivid.
As I looked around, I noticed the ring on my finger.
No way… Did I really return to the past?
I remember the ring originally being silver.
But the one on my finger now was completely black with tarnish.
I once heard that everything in dreams appears in black and white. Whether this was a dream or not, I found myself speaking as if possessed by something.
"…Dad, wait a moment."
"Hm?"
Thinking back, around this time I had been receiving considerable attention from the Major Leagues.
Baseball fans even called that previous season "the Kang Geon-woo Season." The three lowest-ranked teams had been fiercely competing for last place. Whether that was truly to draft me or not… well, who knows.
"I'd like to hear a bit more of what the director has to say."
Back then, I had strongly insisted that there was no reason for me to stay in Korea. After a long discussion with my parents, we had ultimately decided I would go to the Major Leagues.
From my father's perspective, this sudden change might have felt like betrayal.
Meanwhile, Oceans general manager Park Jun-gi looked absolutely delighted.
"Geon-woo, you…"
"Sir! Through the posting system—or, if that doesn't work, when free agency comes—we'll risk everything to help him go overseas!"
There's no need to risk your life over it.
"Since there's potential for him to be a two-way player, we'll bring in famous overseas instructors for both pitching and hitting to support him. Please trust us, sir!"
He even bragged that they were preparing the largest rookie contract in history.
But honestly, I don't really need things like that.
That is—if this isn't a dream.
I've already been the best before. Money is nice to have, sure, but it's not something I need to cling to.
I don't even remember exactly how much I earned.
I was rich.
Well… until I got into business ventures and nearly lost most of it.
"I'll think about it a little more. I'll contact you again."
Even as he left, the director kept talking about giving me the best treatment possible. My mother said playing in Korea wouldn't be bad, while my father looked at me like I'd betrayed him.
"Hey, Kang Geon-woo. Did you suddenly change your mind?"
"Just a moment. I have something really urgent to take care of. Let's talk again when I get back."
"Hey! Kang Geon-woo!"
"Son, be careful."
Right now, I have something urgent to do.
I need to meet Yuri… noona immediately.
I rushed out of the house and called her from the apartment stairwell that smelled faintly musty, telling her to come out right away. Yuri lives one floor below us.
It was hard to think of this as a dream. When I hit my arm, I felt pain. Of course, that alone doesn't make it easy to believe I've gone back in time—but if this really is true…
"Oh? Our Geon-woo missed his noona? Your voice sounded pretty urgent."
My ex-girlfriend—no, ex-wife… though since I've gone back to the past, I guess that makes her my current girlfriend.
She's two years older than me. Since I've returned to my senior year of high school, Yuri is now twenty-one.
Yuri, my childhood friend and the older girl from downstairs, said this as she came up the stairs.
For a moment, I was speechless.
There were so many things I wanted to say. So many things I wanted to ask.
But those memories—
they were all things only I remembered.
We got married. We divorced. And because of the ring she gave me, I returned to the past?
There's no way I could say something like that.
"…I missed you."
The words slipped out before I even realized it. Yuri had asked if I missed her, but when I actually answered, she looked startled and made a strange expression.
"…What?"
I guess I had been a pretty blunt boyfriend—and husband.
Even after the divorce, I kept regretting it.
Maybe it was pride. Damn it. No—let's admit it.
I had simply assumed Yuri would always be by my side. That was my mistake.
The truth is, I really missed her.
"I really missed you."
When I said it again, Yuri—standing halfway up the stairs—glanced back and forth between our apartment upstairs and her place downstairs before speaking in a flustered voice.
"Did… you eat something weird?"
We'd been stuck together since we were kids. Even though she's two years older, we were always more like friends.
Still, somehow my chest felt lighter.
It was something I had truly wanted to say. Maybe I'd just blurted it out thinking this was all a dream.
"But we saw each other this morning?"
Did we?
For me, though, it felt like I was seeing her face for the first time in years.
And seeing the twenty-one-year-old Yuri again—if you round it up, it's been almost twenty years.
"No, uh… still. Ah. There's something I want to ask…"
Anyway, there was one thing I absolutely had to confirm right now.
If this isn't a dream, I'll make up for all the mistakes I made in the future.
But I had to ask where she bought this ring and what exactly it was, so I raised my hand and showed it.
"Huh? Hey! Kang Geon-woo!"
"…Huh?"
"Isn't that the ring I gave you?"
"Yeah. I wanted to ask you something about—"
"I gave it to you as a birthday present and you already ruined it like this?!"
"No, wait—where did you buy this—"
"Aha. You already forgot where it came from?"
…
At this rate…
"Hey, Kang Geon-woo! Do you know how I got this—"
"Yuri noona, please just look at me this once."
"…Huh?"
Even as I said it, I flinched slightly. What if I suddenly got sent further back in time again?
But nothing happened. So I guess it's a one-time thing. Not sure whether that's fortunate or not.
"…What did you say? Say that again."
Come to think of it, she'd always begged me to call her noona at least once as her lifelong wish, but I never did.
Hmm.
Seeing Yuri like this—young, quick to get angry but quick to soften—made my heart melt.
She's cute.
"…Hey!"
When I suddenly pulled her into a hug without a word, she grumbled about what would happen if my dad came out—but she didn't resist.
I don't know.
Coming back to the past and starting over again… maybe that's just my selfish desire.
Maybe I'm doing what I want without thinking about Yuri's feelings at all.
I took a deep breath. A faint, ticklish scent lingered at the tip of my nose.
"What if."
"…What do you mean, what if?"
"What if we got married?"
"Hah. Kang Geon-woo. Don't get ahead of yourself."
"Just say we did."
"Aren't you going to America? Then—"
"I'm not going."
"Huh?"
"Where would I go leaving you behind, noona?"
"W-what? What did you say?"
"No—well. Let's talk about that later. Just say we got married."
"…And?"
"But then we got divorced because of my mistake."
"Hey, Kang Geon-woo…"
"Would you forgive me just this once?"
"Did you seriously eat something weird?"
Yuri stared at me strangely for not answering her last question, then let out a deep sigh.
"What did you do to cause the divorce? Cheat?"
"No. It's not that."
"Then I'll forgive you just this once. This noona has a heart as wide as the Pacific Ocean."
I chuckled.
She wasn't lying, after all.
This time…
I have to do it right. No mistakes.
"I'm sorry."
"…Nope, this won't do. Hurry up and confess what you did. It feels like you committed something huge and you're trying to smooth it over. Do I look that easy to fool?"
"Thank you."
"Hey, stop getting on my nerves and just—"
"I love you."
Yuri's face instantly turned red. She stammered, "Huh, ha, huh, ha… you little…" before turning around.
"I'm going to eat. And I'm only forgiving you this once, so keep that in mind."
My heart felt uneasy, yet relieved at the same time.
As she turned away, I clearly saw the corner of her lips curl upward.
"Hey, Kang Geon-woo!"
"Yeah?"
"There's definitely something going on with you. You're not usually this obedient…"
"There's really nothing."
"Fine. This noona's going to eat. Even if you miss me, just endure it."
Even after Yuri went into her apartment, I stood there for a long while.
Until my father came looking for me.
"Hey, Kang Geon-woo!"
In this short time since returning to the past,
the phrase I've heard the most is Hey, Kang Geon-woo.
"Dad."
"What!"
"Do you not like the Oceans?"
My father is a fan of the Changwon Pirates.
He used to support the Oceans. But after saying the Oceans were going to give him high blood pressure, he stopped watching baseball for a while. Then one day he suddenly bought a Pirates uniform.
"Geon-woo."
"Yes?"
"That team… well, more importantly—what happened to the guy who was saying he'd go to the Major Leagues just a few minutes ago?"
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For suddenly changing my mind."
Was going to the Major Leagues a mistake?
Maybe.
No matter what happens later, that's the decision I've made for now.
"So… it's not exactly that. Your mind just suddenly changed?"
"A little. And Dad."
"What is it?"
"It's good to see you."
When I said that and wrapped my arms around him in a hug, my father looked suspicious.
"…Did the soup go bad this morning or something?"
Yuri, and now my father too.
Am I imagining it, or are they both treating me like I've lost my mind?
By the time the day was coming to an end, my head had grown even more complicated.
I had no idea what exactly was happening to me.
Is going back to the past even possible?
Is this ring some kind of time machine?
But one thing baseball taught me is to set aside what I absolutely can't do and focus only on what I can do.
Which means I've given up trying to figure out the reason or mechanism behind this.
I'm not talented at anything besides baseball.
All I need to confirm is one thing—
that this definitely isn't a dream.
Pinching my arm hurt, and nothing about this felt like a dream.
Trying to calm my nerves, I lay down on the bed with the ring on my finger.
My thought was simple: if I wake up and I'm still nineteen, then I can believe this isn't a dream.
I tossed and turned for a long time. Maybe because I hoped this wasn't a dream, sleep didn't come easily.
Still, I eventually fell asleep.
And just like the previous dream, Yuri appeared again.
"Well, I can't forgive you for free."
"What?"
"If you grant three wishes for noona, I'll forgive you specially. That's the generosity of an older woman, you brat Kang Geon-woo. Got it? Hmm?"
It's not like I'm a genie.
Three wishes?
Anyway—
when I woke up,
I was still nineteen.
There was a message from Yuri on my smartphone, and my mother was waking me up to tell me breakfast was ready.
The only thing that had changed was this:
the ring had returned to its silver color.
And engraved on it were three small black circles.
Maybe… those are some kind of wish gauge or something.
Either way.
It seems certain—
I really have regressed to the past.