Rachael's POV
Standing at the center of the hall. Dressed sharply, holding hands with Bella. My stomach drops, my chest tightens. My heart races in a way that is almost emmbarrassing. He isn't supposed to be here, not tonight.
My hands reach for the tablecloth, gripping it. My legs feel heavy, the memories of the night in France, flooding back. His voice, his touch, the way he moved
"Rachael!" Bella screams in excitement.
She rushes down to me, her grip tight on my hand as she pulls me forward, straight into him.
Toward the man who is not supposed to exist in this version of my life.
I force a smile, my eyes glued to the floor. I don't look at him yet, I can't. If I do, I might forget where I am. Who I'm meant to be tonight.
Bella is glowing, " Come on, I want you to meet them properly."
As if seeing him isn't already undoing me.
He's standing there like nothing ever happened. Calm collected. His face is unreadable, but his eyes, those eyes, hold something sharp.
"Rachael", Bella says proudly, "this is my dad."
The word dad lands like a slap.
"And this is Capri."
Capri nods politely, but his gaze is fixed between Jonathan and me, like he's sensing a tension.
"Nice to meet you," I say, the words automatic, rehearsed. My voice doesn't shake
Jonathan extends his hand.
When our fingers touch, it's brief.
But my body betrays me anyway.
"Likewise," he says
His voice
God!
Bella is watching us with curiosity. "Have you two met before?"
"No", Jonathan says smoothly.
I echo "No", too quickly,
She doesn't look convinced but is distracted when her mother walks in, with her boyfriend, someone she's capable of birthing.
She turns around, greeting Jonathan warmly and pulling me into a warm embrace.
"Oh, Rach! I've heard so much about you", she says letting go. "It's nice to finally meet you and congratulations."
I put on a fake smile. "Thank you Mrs. Hills…", she cuts in "It's Diana."
She looks at Jonathan one last time and vanishes into the crowd.
I excuse myself under the pretense of needing air and I move toward the balcony
"Running already?" a voice echoes behind me.
It's Jonathan.
I don't turn.
"You shouldn't be here", I say quietly.
"And yet," Jonathan replies, stepping closer, "here I am".
I finally look at him.
His presence towering over me, familiar and forbidden.
"You look… different," he says
"So do you," I reply sharply.
Silence.
"This dinner," he continues, "I didn't think I'd be walking into a memory".
His fingers slip through my hair. I pull away
"It wasn't supposed to be anything", I say as I immediately step back.
"Funny, it didn't feel like nothing" he says, running his hand through my hair, slower this time.
I swallow hard
"Jonathan," I whisper, lowering my voice, "I'm getting married."
He lets out a slow breath. "I know".
This somehow made it all worse.
Before any of us can say anything more, Bella's voice cuts through the tension.
I step back immediately, feeling grateful for the interruption.
As I walk away, his eyes are on me the whole time.
And I realize, deep down, pretending this never happened is impossible.
"There you are!" she yells out, "Have you seen my dad?"
I answer almost immediately "No."
Her smile leaves her face slowly, "Do you think he's disappearing again?", she continues "He told me he wants to be better and he'd prove it by honouring my invitation".
I stop walking, tilting my head "You invited him?"
"Yeah, that was my big surprise".
It was indeed a big one. A part of me felt Jonathan was always unavailable so running from the truth wouldn't be hard.
"Ohh" I answer, "You really caught me off guard with the surprise."
"I'm glad I did", she laughs "I just hope he didn't leave without saying goodbye".
***
The car ride back home is silent. Clinton was all bubbly and smiley till we drove away from the crowd of people.
"Clinton?" I say, "Thank you for offering to drop me off at home"
He stops using his phone
Turns
Looks at me, deciding whether I'm worth the effort.
"Don't mistake politeness for interest," he says calmly. "I wouldn't be here if your mom didn't suggest it."
My throat tightens.
"This engagement is a favour. I'm only doing it to help your dad. Don't push it".
Why did he want to help my dad? Why give up on his choice to save someone else? What was in it for him?
I didn't ask the questions out loud, I just sat there, quietly, waiting for this drive to end.
***
My room is too quiet when I finally close the door behind me. Can't tell if it's because Bella isn't staying over tonight or how silent Clinton was throughout the car ride.
He didn't acknowledge my presence, he didn't even say bye when I got down.
Oh, Jonathan!, his face flashes through my head at every chance it gets.
The way his voice sounds when he's close, the way he looks at me, his gaze, fixed, starved.
I squeeze my eyes shut, lying in bed.
The memory lingers, I reach for my pussy, sliding my hands through it. His voice replays in my head, "Ride me little princess."
I fasten the pace, fingering myself so hard and moaning so loud.
"Fuck!" and then I let out the cum.
"No no no no no", I whisper to the empty room
What was I doing? Why do I still crave that older cock? He's my best friend"s father, and I'm about to get married.
I turn onto my side, pulling the blanket tighter around me, like it can protect me from my own thoughts.
When sleep comes, it's shallow
And his name follows it.