"Hei, Kai wants to go to the canteen."
Kai turned towards the source of the voice, which was none other than Kevin. It seemed his absence for the past few days, plus literally he skipping school that day, sure didn't look good for a guy known as the student with the top academic ranking.
Even though he liked the idea of going to the canteen because he might meet Reva to ask about a few things, Kai had to see Mrs. Maryn to discuss student council registration stuff.
"Sorry, I have business in the teachers' office. And it looks like it'll take a while."
"Hmm... is that so."
"Yeah." Kai got up from his seat and patted Kevin's shoulder. "I'll go first."
After that, Kai left the classroom and headed to the teachers' office. Right on time, Mrs. Maryn was at her desk.
"Excuse me, Ma'am." Kai smiled and bowed briefly to greet her.
"Ah, Kai you good? I heard you were sick."
"I'm better now Mr.s Maryn thank you for asking." Kai sat on the chair Mrs. Maryn had lined up. "Sorry, I was supposed to come see you last Thursday."
"Hmm~ it's okay, take it easy. Besides, you're a special student at this school~"
Kai and Mrs. Maryn then discussed the student council registration. During the conversation, Mrs. Maryn was a bit surprised to hear that Kai would bring Chloe as his deputy. But of course, Kai, who was good at talking, was very skilled at stating all the reasons why he chose Chloe.
One of the reasons was certainly because every student knew Chloe, and that kind of person was definitely suitable to be the "face" of the student council. Besides, students don't have to be a great or smart person to join the student council.
"Hmm... actually, I had a suitable candidate if you didn't propose Chloe."
Kai listened to Mrs. Maryn's statement. His mind immediately understood that the candidate she meant was Lily Campbell. Yeah, like the "original" story, but unfortunately, Kai had already made up his mind to be "himself," regardless of whether that was right or wrong.
"Mrs. Maryn... could I know why I was called by..." A familiar voice reached Kai's ears. Turning, he found the person who made him feel awkward and wrong. Of course, it was Lily.
"Ahh... Miss Campbell, you came right on time. Sit here."
Lily looked at Kai, before smiling politely and sitting in the chair. Her thigh slightly brushed against Kai's because they were sitting very close together.
"Miss Campbell, are you interested in becoming part of the student council?"
"Ha?" Lily's eyebrow rose at the offer. Her eyes glanced at Kai for a moment, but she only got Kai shaking his head slightly, before her gaze turned to Mrs. Maryn. "Mmm... did you call me to offer this?"
"Of course, I thought of you when Kai said he wanted to register as a member of the Student Council, next year, and I feel for a kid like Kai, it's almost certain he'll become the chairman. So I thought you'd be suitable to be his deputy. However, it seems I didn't expect Kai to already have a candidate for his deputy."
"Hmm, of course, I agree to join."
Hearing Lily say it so casually shocked him. Agreeing right away without thinking, Kai really couldn't predict what Lily was thinking.
Ughh... what does this girl want.
In the end, Mrs. Maryn was very happy, and after chatting for a while, Kai and Lily left the teachers' office.
Kai didn't know what to say, but he didn't know where to start. The incident a few days ago when it rained in the park, the first kiss that they shared in that kind of sweet shelter, seemed forced.
Even if someone flipped the word "mistake," there is always the word "take" inside it. And Kai felt he had made a mistake by taking something that wasn't his.
"I want to talk, okay?"
"Umm..." Lily smiled and nodded. She didn't know what Kai wanted to talk about, but it must be about yesterday.
Walking behind Kai, their footsteps weren't in harmony. Kai's steps were half a step ahead of Lily's. They kept walking, tracing the school hallways that were very crowded with a sea of students.
They arrived at the vending machine near the canteen, the spot Kai was at when he talked with Chloe when they were first getting to know each other. Kai seemed to want to bring back his success in befriending Chloe to fix his steps with Lily.
They leaned against the vending machine. That drink machine was like a separator between them. These two people really weren't friends, they were just "acquaintances," but it seemed that acquaintance status had faded a little.
"Are you mad?" Kai asked Lily.
"I'm not mad."
They were sure radiated same vibe but somehow felt out of sync. That might be the right word from an outsider's perspective. If all of this was a movie or a drama show, Kai thought he might keep watching until the credits finished rolling.
But Kai definitely wouldn't want to repeat it because the development was really too cruel. However, too bad this was real life. He was wrong and Lily was wrong, no one was right.
"You know..." Lily started saying something with her head down, her eyes seeming afraid to look directly at Kai. "When I did it, I thought my feelings would be granted."
"..."
"When I met you, I imagined maybe I could learn and be free from this intense desire." Lily lifted her head and glanced at Kai with a slightly sad look. "But it seems there's no love that will just be 'okay,' right?"
〈There is no love that is always okay〉
That statement is true, because humans are complicated creatures. They tightly embrace love and scream their idealism. Fail? They can try again continuously. No matter how many attempts pile up in the endless mercy of love, sometimes only one word comes out.
I Am Sick of Love
Kai dissected Lily's words. It seemed Lily felt guilty for using Kai to prove something. According to him (at least), no one was wrong. They were both selfish people who believed that nothing they did had consequences.
This was purely a miss matching philosophy of love.
There is no right or wrong.
"I didn't hate it..." Kai said.
Lily listened carefully to Kai's sentence as Kai gave her a smile that reached his eyes.
"You know, I think I'm the same as you. I'm confused about 'myself.' Even until today, I keep wondering..." Kai lifted his head, looking at the sky outside the window.
"Wondering whether I've been right or wrong in being 'myself,' back and forth in my mind, that question always spins around, thinking about that one thing. And then eventually, when I look at the people 'around me,' I realize, I've become greedier now." Kai laughed out loud, commenting on how pathetic and insensitive he was to himself. "And is not bad too be little selfish person."
Lily was silent. She was captivated by Kai's words. Deep in her heart, Lily always thought of herself as nothing more than a burden.
The heart in this body wasn't hers, the life she lived was nothing more than everything prepared by her parents. Love... that was Arthur, her fiancé, so what did she have? Because the meaning of other people's happiness was built upon her own unhappiness. For someone like her, was she allowed to choose and decide everything for herself? Was she allowed to be greedy?
Lily smiled and laughed out loud until tears welled up in the corners of her eyes, which she wiped away. It was true, if something was too complicated, just forget it.
Even though other people had locked her body with words she was supposed to follow, they still couldn't lock Lily's heart.
⌈Stuff your heart full with all your dearest dreams, and go for broke on all the things you wanna do.⌋
Lily repeated the sentence that Iris always said when Iris returned from her therapy. Touching her chest, Iris smiled to herself. She really had to "visit" Iris later because her heart was full of happy memories from when they were together in that depression room.
"It seems we understand each other," Kai said, still smiling. "You know, can we be real friends and start over from the beginning?"
Lily smiled widely, flashing it to Kai. Reaching for his hand, she shook it firmly. "Hmm!!! Let's start over from the beginning."
They both smiled and laughed together. A good scene for someone watching them from afar.
That woman adjusted her glasses, seeing a very nice view that was perfect for displaying in a living room.
"Hahaha~ I didn't expect them to get close again. A good move... as I expected from a carnation flower."
The woman took out a lily flower brooch from her pocket, which looked a bit cracked and damaged. A while ago she thought about "throwing it away," but looking at it again now, the cracked parts were slowly becoming whole again, making the woman's face light up.
"I'm quite surprised... it can change like this so quickly. But you know... there is a 'flower' that's starting to crack if you don't notice it anymore."
The woman then left after getting a call that the school canteen was already very crowded. "Hmm... I hope Kai goes to the canteen. I can't wait to see that smiling face directly by my own eyes~"