"And then!"
"We reached the hill park at the harbor!"
"It was so empty—just the two of us. Nothing like the scenes you see on phones. Those dog media outlets just spread fake hype."
"But the moonlight was seriously super beautiful! I was so happy…"
"And then my mind just went completely—blank…"
Inside the inn, just as Diego had said, the two managed to make it back before roll call. Having changed into pajamas, Hayasaka Ai was now in the room recounting everything from the day to Shinomiya Kaguya.
The more Hayasaka spoke, the more excited she became—completely unaware that the expression on Kaguya's face beside her was growing darker by the second.
"And then what happened?" Kaguya asked coldly, already calculating in her mind how to sink Diego into the bay.
"…His smile up close was so cute. The atmosphere was already like that—you know what I mean, Kaguya-sama… ugh—I'm too embarrassed to say it." Hayasaka hugged her big bear plush, cheeks faintly flushed, swaying gently as she mumbled vaguely.
"…We kissed under the moonlight."
You brain-only-for-bleep-(censored)-in-heat teddy bear! What's so great about a guy whose eyes look like a man-eating beast?!
Traitor! Traitor! Not a single one of these maids who come to serve has any loyalty—find a boyfriend and instantly abandon the mistress they serve!
"K-kiss… what did it actually feel like?" Though inwardly cursing, Kaguya's curiosity won out. Even blushing, she still had to ask.
"As expected of Kaguya-sama who's never kissed before—asking something like that is so cute!" Hayasaka, lost in her own world, covered her face and continued on her own. "Kaguya-sama, did you know? A first kiss tastes like apple!"
"I… see."
Seeing Hayasaka so happy, I feel like I've been purified too. I sincerely hope the two of them can—
"No way no way no waaaay! Hayasaka, don't date him! You belong to me!"
"I belong to myself." Hayasaka put her hands behind her back, turned her head away, and stopped meeting the fuming Kaguya's eyes. She muttered softly, "Anyway… why exactly do you dislike Dio so much?"
"In short—it's his eyes. That completely indifferent, ferocious gaze that seems to look down on the entire world… it pisses me off."
Hayasaka can only be mine. I won't let that bastard Diego Brando steal her!
I have to win against him!
Give Hayasaka back to me!
Another day of Kaguya-sama overheating.
...
—Inn, men's bath—
"Time for Class 2 to bathe. Thirty minutes per class—hurry up." The supervising teacher came to the boys' room and announced the news.
"Hey—Class 2, what are you all doing? Why aren't you moving to take your bath?"
Seeing the group of boys looking grim and motionless, the teacher seemed to realize something was off. He turned and saw the only boy who had stood up and was heading toward the bath.
"…Don't tell me—you're all scared of Brando-kun?"
"Mm-hmm!"
"Why?"
"Just standing there he's already so intimidating… Sensei, don't you think he acts unpredictably and has that scar at the corner of his mouth? It's terrifying… We definitely don't dare bathe with him…"
"Really? I think he's pretty cool… Enough talk! Move it! You want to sleep all sticky?!"
"Yes—He totally looks like a yakuza though…"
Under the teacher's urging, the Class 2 boys reluctantly headed toward the men's bath.
"Hey hey, Tōru, if we disturb Brando-kun's mood when we go in later, we won't get killed, right?"
"I told you already—no way. What do you think Dio is, some kind of natural disaster?"
Ishikawa Tōru had been in a great mood lately. For some reason, lots of girls had started approaching him, and even during basketball, a bunch of fangirls brought him water.
He vaguely suspected it had something to do with that bottle of perfume from Diego Brando.
But then he denied the possibility—after all, if the perfume had that kind of effect, why wouldn't Diego use it himself? No one likes having a bad reputation, right?
So I'm a god—I'm so handsome!
In the changing room, as the only male creature in the entire group who had actually spoken with Diego, Ishikawa Tōru began reassuring the dejected boys.
"I can tell you really don't want to bathe with Dio… So how about we just head back? As long as you're fine sleeping covered in sweat."
"Then we'll go wash after all!"
"Feeling like my body stinks and Brando-kun might smell it—that'd make it easier to get killed…"
"Whatever, we're here already. I'm going in first."
Convinced by their own reasoning, the boys began entering the bath one after another.
"Haa… so good…" Diego, already soaking in the bath, was enjoying the comfortable sensation of hot water enveloping his entire body. His powerfully built physique was fully on display.
As the saying goes: moderate fitness attracts the opposite sex, excessive fitness attracts the same sex—and Diego's physique was undeniably the type that killed with both.
This also meant no one else could focus on enjoying the bath. Their gazes kept drifting uncontrollably toward Diego.
Wow, what an amazing body—like a sculpture… (same thought as Pucci)
"I want to touch Brando-kun's muscles." A boy who loved lifting couldn't hold back and muttered super quietly.
And of course, that voice didn't escape Diego's ears.
"You… have good taste~" At some point Diego had teleported beside the boy, face still smiling.
"P-private, I-I just genuinely think your body is amazing. I wasn't secretly talking about you."
Diego showed a puzzled expression, extended his arm, and spoke in a tone that couldn't hide his delight: "Didn't you want to touch? Go ahead!"
Important things must be repeated: Diego loves being praised.
"Ah… yes!" After a brief daze, the boy quickly reacted. His trembling hand reached out. "Ooh ooh ooh… sugoi… so firm, Brando-kun! How long have you been training?! Can you teach me!"
"So sneaky! Brando-kun, me too!"
"Count me in!"
"I brought a camera—let's take a group photo!"
"Why the hell would you bring a camera to the bath?!"
In an instant, one stone stirred a thousand ripples. With the first successful example, the rest of the boys could no longer suppress their restless hearts and rushed over one after another.
"Hahaha, there's enough for everyone, enough for everyone."
Diego's vanity was fully satisfied. His relationship with the boys in class went up↑up↑up↑, and they quickly bonded.
Can someone who loves fitness really be a bad person? death!
Bath time was about to end. Naked, Diego stood up from the tub and headed to the changing room to put on his clothes.
"Mmm~ Feeling refreshed!"
Meanwhile, the boy who had been soaking opposite him was suffering. The massive object on full display before him, the powerfully built body, the full coverage of muscles—all dealt him a heavy blow.
After Diego left, whispers rose again.
"Monster…"
"So big…"
"I feel a little inferior…"
The demoralized boys' moods sank back to rock bottom.
Today's outcome: Diego. Victory.
(Seems like all the boys in his class have turned into little fanboys.)
...
Outside the men's and women's baths, Diego sat on a sofa in the rest area, surrounded by a crowd of fanboys.
For boys, the entrance/exit of the girls' bath on the right side holds an extremely powerful attraction.
—I want to see.
"If it were Dio-aniki, he probably wouldn't have thoughts like ours."
"Exactly—his girlfriend is that model student Hori-san. So jealous."
"But good thing—hehe—we get to see the girls right after their bath. That post-bath look with flushed cheeks and wet hair is the best!"
"You really—get me! This kind of scene is absolutely irresistible!"
"This is my only salvation. Dio-aniki, I want to learn from you—any tips for being so popular with girls?"
Hearing this, Diego instantly perked up. He crossed his hands under his chin, propped up his head, and looked completely serious.
"Oh? You really want to know?"
"There's actually a way? I want to improve so badly, daddy!"
"Shh—watch me work. Do you believe that later the girls coming out will willingly have dinner with me?"
"No way—that's impossible. Unless… Dio-aniki is waiting for his girlfriend? No chance—the ones bathing right now are second-year seniors."
Just as the words finished, two girls who had finished changing walked out wrapped in bath towels.
"Whoa, Dio-aniki—two of them. The difficulty isn't normal."
"So what? There's nothing ko no Dio can't do. Watch closely—I'll only show you once. The trick is: if you like a girl, just ask her out directly. This method has never failed me."
Diego patted the boy on the shoulder and walked toward the two girls.
"Wow, the bath felt so good, right, Ryo?" Ijichi Nijika held her head and let out a sigh like a mama-san after a bath.
"So hungry… when's dinner?" Yamada Ryo clutched her growling stomach and looked pitifully at Nijika, blinking. "Nijika~"
"Don't even think about it. This is your punishment for spending money recklessly!"
"Ugh… fine."
Her hopes dashed, Yamada Ryo instantly drooped like a zombie.
"Hi~ two beautiful ladies, would you like to have dinner with me?" (ultra-sexy internet ikemen bubble voice)
Diego snapped his hand against the nearby door, blocking the two who were about to leave.
"Hm?" Yamada Ryo looked up, puzzled at Diego.
"Uwa… Dio, what the hell are you doing?" Nijika shot him a look of extreme disgust that rivaled her sister's.
"Little Nijika's all grown up—doesn't even get happy seeing me anymore. Once the band got on track, she started disliking me… boohoo…"
"So lame…" Ijichi Nijika reached out and opened the door Diego was pressing.
The expected scene of Diego tumbling inside didn't happen. He remained frozen midair in the pose of holding something down.
"Come on, stop messing around. I'm currently demonstrating to my little brothers how to ask girls out. Care to give me some face?"
Little brothers…
Yamada Ryo instantly sensed a business opportunity. She held up five fingers—beginning extortion… ahem, securing tonight's dinner budget.
"No way—only this much!" Diego looked pained and held up two fingers.
Yamada Ryo shook her head and waggled three fingers in front of him.
"Don't push your luck, Yamada Ryo!" Diego gritted his teeth, still insisting on two fingers, growling, "This great one said—only this much!"
"Then we go to the restaurant I want."
"Deal!"
"And I decide what we eat."
"Shut up!"
Diego successfully asked out Yamada Ryo-sama and Ijichi Nijika-sama.
Truly a joyous occasion—delicious cola.
Before leaving, Diego slightly turned his head and gave the crowd of boys a big thumbs-up.
Do your best…
In the fanboys' perspective: after saying just a few words, Dio-aniki walked away with the aloof second-year senior—the solitary Ryo—and the mama-type upperclassman—angel Nijika.
"As expected of Dio-aniki! Casually accomplishing what we couldn't—truly blood-boiling and awe-inspiring!"
"…Is there any way to beat it without eating the model?"
"Whatever—I'm gonna try too! Going all in! Brothers, wish me luck!"
"Nooo bro—if you keep this up you'll disappear. Second-year seniors aren't a domain we can challenge!"
"Yeah, Dio-aniki's method is basically like saying: how to ask out one girl every day—just reject the remaining 100+ others. What's the difference?"
"Right right—if I had Dio-aniki's looks and physique, I could ask out guys too!"
"My mind is made up—no need to say more! The brave taste the world first!"
Just then, Juju-sama—Inui Sajuna—also finished bathing and came out. Unfortunately, she became this brave boy's test subject.
Inui Sajuna had been in a very bad mood lately. Although she'd heard that the benefactor who once saved her was also a Shuchiin student, no matter how she searched, she couldn't find Diego.
Damn it. Inui Sajuna's gaze turned fierce. She bit her fingernail, unconsciously nibbling off a bit.
It's been over a month—where the hell is that guy Diego? I even found out which class he's in, but that day I staked out the whole morning and didn't see him once. (The day Diego went out hunting)
Always missing him. I heard he joined the horse racing club, but when I went to the track, not even a shadow. (He went to compete in archery with Shinomiya Kaguya)
I hope I can run into him during the school trip. I saw his name on the list. Right now it's about time for Class 2 to finish bathing—let's wait and see. (Just after he asked out the Shimokitazawa duo)
"Senpai, hello, can we get to know each—"
"Hah? Where'd this sleazy guy come from—scram!"
"Uwaaa—"
The underclassman cried very loudly.
And Inui Sajuna was destined to wait in vain tonight.
Where the hell is Diego—?!
Tonight, this city gained two more heartbroken people.