—A normal two-story standalone house… the Goto residence—
"Roar roar~ The address Nijika and the others sent is right here." In the morning sunlight, a blond man shaded his eyes with one hand and carefully inspected the house in front of him.
Ding ding ding ding ding-dong—
Diego pressed the doorbell at lightning speed. Soon light, quick footsteps approached from inside.
Hm… footsteps only a five-year-old could make. It's Bocchi's little sister. And there's a dog beside her.
"Hi~ Coming!" A lively voice called from inside. Through the slightly opened door, a little girl could clearly be seen standing on tiptoe to unlock it. "Welcome! I'm Gotoh Futari, and this is Jimihen!"
"Woof woof!" Jimihen wagged his tail furiously. The moment he saw Diego, he became exceptionally excited and happy.
Diego gave a friendly greeting. In front of his friends' family, he could always show his well-behaved side—just like he once did in the Zenin household.
"You're Hitori's little sister? Such a cute kid. Here's a souvenir—there are some desserts I made inside. Share them with the family. I'm…"
Blond hair, blue eyes, super handsome, really tall… looks like the ace captain of a school basketball team…
Gotoh Futari stared blankly at Diego for a moment. Then the light slowly faded from her eyes as they widened. She took a deep breath, spun around, and shouted toward the inside of the house:
"Otosan! Okaasan! Onee-chan's online boyfriend she catfished finally tracked her down to our house!"
"Wha?!"
...
Because the Guitar Hero account had family sharing enabled, everything Gotoh Hitori had bragged about online had been seen by her family.
Thus Diego was mistaken for the boyfriend Gotoh Hitori had boasted about meeting online.
"I'm terribly sorry. Futari can be a bit… overexcitable." Gotoh Michiyo (Bocchi's mother) placed a cup of tea on the table in front of Diego and bowed apologetically.
Then she pulled Gotoh Naoki (Bocchi's father) into a corner of the living room, covered her mouth, and whispered very quietly: "Dear—what do we do? Hitori's online catfish boyfriend showed up demanding to meet her. If he finds out her real personality is nothing like the one she made up online…"
"Don't panic. There might still be a way out. Let me sacrifice everything for Hitori's future happiness!"
Gotoh Naoki took a deep breath, put on a face of grim resolve, sat down at the table across from Diego, and began the conversation.
Five minutes later…
Gotoh Naoki returned to the corner of the living room drenched in cold sweat, looking utterly guilty.
"How was he?" Gotoh Michiyo asked expectantly. After waiting a moment without a response, she grew anxious. "Dear—say something!"
Gotoh Naoki swallowed hard, trembling as he brushed aside the hair covering his eyes, revealing pupils full of shock: "That kid… he's insanely good. How could Hitori bear to deceive such a nice guy? If I were a woman I'd marry no one but him. No—it's over. Everything's over…"
"Dear, aren't you being a little dramatic…? Fine—for the sake of Hitori's married life, let Mama handle this!"
Seeing her husband lose so quickly to the seemingly "harmless" boy, Gotoh Michiyo couldn't stand by any longer. She decided to take the field herself.
Five minutes later…
"Dear—what do we do… How could such a perfect catch fall for Hitori online?! Hitori's unbelievable!" Gotoh Michiyo's voice trembled. Guilt flooded her entire body.
"Parents deceased—no mother-in-law issues. No relatives—no need for awkward family gatherings. Low social demands. Outstanding grades. All-around athlete. Can cook. Independent… He's even okay with becoming a live-in son-in-law. If Hitori marries him she'll never have to worry about being mistreated…" Gotoh Naoki counted on his fingers, listing the advantages he'd gathered from their short conversation.
"I don't know how tough these years have been for him. It must have been hard. We have to let this child feel the warmth of a family…"
Women are emotional creatures. After learning about Diego's family situation, Gotoh Michiyo's maternal instincts overflowed. She gazed at Diego—who was currently playing with Futari—with loving eyes.
Diego—having speedrun the situation in ten minutes: I am the king of children.
Outside the house, a copy of Behavioral Logic floated in midair. The World's expressionless face somehow conveyed profound speechlessness.
"Um… Auntie, I came today to see Hitori. She hasn't come to school since the first day. I was a little worried…" Diego raised his hand, glanced at his watch, and indicated that time was getting late.
I heard everything! Bocchi—how did your image in your family's minds become this pathetic?!
"Ahh—Hitori's in her room. Ever since she came back from school that first day she's shut herself inside. We're really worried." Gotoh Michiyo pointed toward a room on the second floor.
"Then excuse the intrusion." Diego stood up. With Gotoh Futari hanging from his back and Jimihen cradled in his arms, he climbed the stairs step by step.
"Um… Dio-san—I have one more question. What exactly is your relationship with Hitori?"
"I'm her band's manager. The kind of relationship where she hands me her piggy bank."
Diego left behind a highly ambiguous statement and went upstairs. He knocked on Bocchi-chan's door.
Manager… so Hitori wasn't lying after all. I thought she was just too embarrassed and hid in the park for hours before coming home.
Wait—piggy bank?
Isn't that the dowry money I saved up for Hitori?!
Gotoh Michiyo realized there was an opportunity.
In times like this, you have to trust Hitori's judgment!
"Oh my—I forgot to buy ingredients for today's meal. Dear, let's go to the market. Futari—go study in your room later. No matter what noises you hear, don't come out. The house will be empty for the next three hours."
Leaving behind another highly ambiguous statement, the two left the house.
...
Knock knock knock…
"Bocchi—I came to hang out…"
Bam!
The wooden door flew open instantly. Gotoh Hitori stood trembling in front of Diego. Perhaps from nerves, she hadn't even put on an outer layer. Her eyes darted away.
"Whoa~ Didn't expect it, Bocchi—you've actually got a pretty good figure. Way better than those awkward tracksuits."
"Sumima—sumima—sumimasen! My flat, completely unappealing body has sullied your eyes!" Gotoh Hitori trembled even harder.
What the hell! Dio came over and I didn't prepare anything…
Hey, woman—you're definitely looking down on me, aren't you—ah!
In her mind, Diego kicked her over and looked at her like she was trash.
Eeeeyaaaaah—! Noooo!
Noticing the silence, Gotoh Hitori mustered the courage to look up. She saw Futari hanging off Diego and having a great time.
"Hey, Futari—is your big sister always like this?"
"Onee-chan gets possessed by ghosts a lot. There are talismans from a master in her room."
Eh—why are you looking at me with such pity…
In an instant, Gotoh Hitori—now doubting her entire existence—clutched her head and became the world-famous painting The Scream, letting out a tragic, inhuman wail.
"Futari—get down! Dio will get mad!"
"Ehh—no way!"
Gotoh Futari shifted from hanging on his back to hanging on his front. Letting go, she sat on Diego's arm along with Jimihen.
"Haha—so high!"
"Please—I need you to go play in the living room. Big sis has something very important to talk about!" Gotoh Hitori scrambled over on all fours, leaned close to Futari's ear, and whispered: "You can have the ice cream in the fridge."
"Can't be helped!" Gotoh Futari blinked, her tone full of delight. She hopped down from Diego, took Jimihen, and scampered downstairs to the living room.
"Ah—they left." Diego looked genuinely disappointed.
Why does Dio look so sad? They just met and she's already this close with him? My communication skills are worse than my five-year-old sister and the dog…
I was here first…
Gotoh Hitori thought pitifully.
"By the way, Bocchi—why didn't you come to school after the first day? It's so boring without you there."
Eh—me? I'm actually that important?!
"First day I saw you in that over-the-top rock outfit, guitar on your back, desk covered in music albums, waiting for someone to talk to you but no one did. It looked fun."
Bam!
A bolt of lightning struck. Bocchi-chan collapsed to the floor, unable to get up.
If melancholy were a talent…
"Listen, Bocchi—friends aren't something you beg for by wagging your tail and pleading." Diego helped Gotoh Hitori up, raised one finger, and spoke earnestly. "What did I tell you before?"
"'Trials' are things you overcome and resolve…" Gotoh Hitori recited softly.
"Looks like there's a chance you might actually pull it off."
These words reignited Gotoh Hitori's fighting spirit. She immediately decided to go to school with Diego.
On the way, Diego suddenly remembered something and casually mentioned: "By the way—your video account is Guitar Hero, right? I happened to overhear your parents talking about it."
"I remember that persona was supposed to be a super sociable normie living a colorful school life with an ace basketball team boyfriend, right?"
"Let me tell you—stop listening to weird songs. Lying in bed all day doing nothing and still thinking you're hot stuff…"
Diego gave Gotoh Hitori a skeptical look. After hearing this, she immediately died on the spot.
Yameee!
Please stop talking—I'll do anything!
On the scale of how embarrassing it is to get exposed for bragging online, Gotoh Hitori blue-screened completely and couldn't recover.
My parents found out… that I've been bragging nonstop online…
They must be so disappointed. I can't stay in this house anymore…
My life… is over…
(PS: In the end she still went to school with Diego.)
...
—Shuchiin Academy—
"I already told you—that's all the files she gave me…"
"But some documents are missing… We looked everywhere. Nothing."
In the hallway outside Class 2, student council members had gathered to address the missing files issue.
Hori's face was full of amusement. Completely at ease, she leaned against the railing and spoke word by word: "So let me get this straight—if I handed all the files to Ayasaki-san, what are you going to do about it?"
Ayasaki Remi hid behind Sengoku Kakeru, not daring to speak.
"Hori-san—please be serious. Missing student council documents is a very important matter." Sengoku Kakeru was unrelenting, pressing step by step. "Of course we share some blame. But it still depends on whether the accounting files were among what Remi received yesterday."
Whispers spread through the crowd.
"Who's Hori?"
"Oh—you know, the girlfriend of that Diego Brando from Class 2. The one who—"
"I heard the files she was entrusted with went missing. Work got delayed because of it."
"Poor Senkawa-kun… he's about to run for next term's student council president and this happens…"
Nearby, an emotional Ishikawa Toru was firmly held back by Yuki, cursing loudly: "Senkawa you bastard—I curse your whole family!"
"Remi—don't be afraid. A gentleman uses words, not fists." Sengoku Kakeru nodded noncommittally and continued calmly: "Just tell the truth, Hori-san. If it was your mistake, then apologi—"
Bam!
Before Sengoku Kakeru could finish, his head met the floor intimately. Blood streamed from his skull.
"Good thing I'm not a gentleman…"
"Who the hell do you think should apologize?!"
Diego pinned Sengoku Kakeru's head down. Veins bulged on his face. His ferocious aura crushed everyone's breath.
"Senkawa-kun—!!!" Ayasaki Remi rushed to embrace the fallen Sengoku Kakeru.
Diego raised his hand, about to slap the noisy girl.
"Dio—stop! Boys absolutely cannot hit girls!"
Hori's voice made Diego pause. The next second—
Slap!
Hori personally delivered a slap to Ayasaki Remi's face.
"But I can~ After all—I'm a girl too~"
"Aaaaaahhh—"
"Dio-kun—please stop. If this continues you'll get expelled." Seeing the situation spiral, Fujiwara Chika grabbed Diego's hand, trying to salvage things.
"Shut up! Every time I hear a stupid woman's voice I get pissed off—get lost!" Diego flung Fujiwara Chika away.
"Yes…"
For some reason, Fujiwara Chika—who had dropped to her knees—suddenly blushed and ran away.
So annoying. Should I just kill everyone here?
No no no—that would leave a shadow on Hori. In this era… persuasion through reason…
Diego pulled the accounting files from his bag and threw them in front of the crowd.
Seeing the files, Sengoku Kakeru —who now understood everything—turned mechanically toward Ayasaki Remi, silently asking what the hell happened.
"Oh my oh my—what do we have here? If they're so important, why delegate them to an outsider? So hard to guess~
Since it was an outsider's job—missing documents are the student council's own responsibility, right? Especially when it was that idiot Ayasaki Remi who dropped them on the ground yesterday after tripping."
"Your precious 'next president' candidate, huh." Diego looked down and kicked Sengoku Kakeru once. He took it in silence. "Not anymore. Just you wait—I, Dio, will be running in the next student council election."
With that, he glared at the crowd, took Hori's hand, and slowly walked away.
"I thought you'd stop me."
"Anyway—you'd hold back, right, Dio? Now we're accomplices. Hehe~ Dummy dummy dummy…"
"Hmph… true… Wait—hey! Who're you calling dummy!"
...
Aftermath: Sengoku Kakeru and Ayasaki Remi wore signs reading "I am a sinner / I bullied others without understanding the situation" and apologized frantically.
Although many witnessed Diego hitting someone, it caused no real repercussions. According to anonymous classmates, anyone who knew what happened received anonymous death threats from the Dragon Ball Gang.
Today's result: Shuchiin—defeat.
(Seeing Dio hit someone looked so cool that the number of masochistic girls increased. Diego's fan club membership miraculously rose.)