If Ishikawa Hikaru were to ask Hikigaya Komachi for "interesting stories" about her brother under the pretense of gathering material for a light novel, Komachi would very likely send him every embarrassing story she knew about Hikigaya Hachiman—and even help collect more dark history for his writing.
Therefore—
Hachiman Hikigaya fell silent.
---
"The light novel industry is brutal."
Ishikawa Hikaru suddenly stood up and began walking toward the cooking classroom, speaking as if giving a lecture to himself.
"Debuting is only the first step. A publisher's promotional resources are limited. If a novel fails to gain recognition from readers and the market, no matter how much effort the author pours into it, the work will simply be eliminated.
Interesting characters make readers want to keep reading.
Interesting plot developments make readers want to keep reading.
And most stories are built upon conflict between characters.
That's why characterization is the most important element of a light novel.
To create compelling characters, a writer must understand people.
Many authors study literature to understand human emotions and relationships. Others watch countless films and TV shows to explore character psychology and redemption arcs.
But my method is closer to reality.
I observe every person I meet. I look for strengths and weaknesses that even they themselves don't realize they possess. I observe how they think, how they react to situations.
Then I construct fictional characters based on those observations and place them on a fictional stage.
Even though the characters are fictional, they still contain my understanding of real people.
Just like how I'm observing you now."
He turned to Hikigaya with a smile.
"I'm planning to write Hikigaya-sensei into my next novel. I'll turn you into an aloof female knight with Dead Fish Eyes and a decadent aura."
"At least make the character male!" Hikigaya protested. "I'll sue you for violating my portrait rights!"
"If he's male, I can't add swimsuit fan service for the readers."
Hikigaya fell silent for a moment.
"You're definitely going to suffer karmic retribution someday."
"If I'm going to face retribution," Ishikawa shouted dramatically, "then let money slap me in the face first!"
With that, he pushed open the cooking classroom door.
---
"W-Wah!"
Yuigahama Yui screamed in surprise before realizing who it was.
"Y-You scared me!"
"How's the Cookie Star battle going?" Ishikawa asked cheerfully.
He walked straight to the baking tray and began inspecting the cookies.
"Hm… I see. Yukinoshita taught you well. It looks like you've successfully suppressed your talent for producing lethal cuisine."
"W-Would you like to try one?" Yuigahama asked nervously.
"No."
Ishikawa refused immediately.
"I'll only try one after the official taste tester—Hikigaya Hachiman—survives. Hikigaya-sensei, it's time for you to devote yourself to the advancement of human civilization."
"If I die, I'll haunt you forever."
With a sigh, Hikigaya stepped forward and picked up a cookie.
He took a cautious bite.
"The cookies are a little grainy, and the texture isn't great. They're not disgusting, but they're definitely not very good either."
"Really?"
Ishikawa looked skeptical. He grabbed a cookie and tasted it himself.
After a moment, he nodded solemnly.
"Yukinoshita Yukino really is impressive."
"Isn't it a bit late to notice that?" Yukinoshita sighed.
"In any case, Yuigahama-san, just follow the method I showed you. If you practice a few more times, you'll be able to bake good cookies."
"O-Okay!" Yuigahama nodded.
Ishikawa clapped lightly.
"Yuigahama achieved her goal of learning how to bake cookies. Yukinoshita completed the request. And Hikigaya didn't die.
A perfect happy ending."
Yukinoshita frowned.
"If the two of you hadn't been fooling around, this request would have finished much sooner."
"Blame Ishikawa," Hikigaya said immediately. "I'm also a victim here."
"Calling yourself a victim sounds too dramatic," Ishikawa said thoughtfully. "Maybe 'the affected party' would be better."
"That makes it sound like a criminal case!"
"Why do you always have to retort?" Ishikawa complained.
"If this were a light novel, a tsukkomi character like you would dilute the main plot. Readers would complain that the jokes are boring."
"You're blaming me now?"
"Still retorting! Fine, I'm ignoring you."
Then Ishikawa turned to Yuigahama and spoke seriously.
"The technique is still rough, and the cookies aren't delicious yet. But every beginner starts like this. If you keep baking with the intention of giving them to someone else, you'll eventually make very good cookies."
"Th-thank you," Yuigahama said softly.
"You should also thank Yukinoshita-san."
Hikigaya thought for a moment before speaking.
"If these cookies are meant as a gift, then taste isn't the most important thing. A gift is meant to express gratitude. As long as the person receiving them understands your feelings, the cookies themselves don't really matter."
Yuigahama smiled warmly.
"You seem like a really lonely guy… but you're actually a good person, Hikigaya-kun."
Hikigaya immediately felt goosebumps.
"Well… it's nothing."
"And Yukinoshita-san too!"
Yuigahama suddenly grabbed Yukinoshita's hand excitedly.
"You're really cool! I'm so happy to become friends with you!"
"Mm… yes…"
Yukinoshita clearly wasn't used to that level of enthusiasm.
---
11. So, Will the Problem Child Share His Human Observation Records?
After the cookie incident, Ishikawa Hikaru returned home by train.
"The Service Club is pretty interesting."
Yukinoshita Yukino was like a proud cat.
Yuigahama Yui was like an energetic dog.
And Hikigaya Hachiman—despite his rotten personality—was actually a kind person beneath the surface.
Of course, there was also the real reason the three of them had become connected.
About a month earlier, Yuigahama had been walking her dachshund when it suddenly ran into the road.
At that moment, Yukinoshita was passing by in her family's car.
Hikigaya rushed forward on his bicycle, shouting.
And Ishikawa happened to be standing right next to the dog.
The result:
Hikigaya was hit by the car and hospitalized.
Ishikawa was also injured.
The dog, however, was completely unharmed.
Because of that accident, Yukinoshita, Yuigahama, Hikigaya, and Ishikawa were all connected.
The Service Club had unknowingly gathered everyone involved in that incident.
---
Back home, Ishikawa changed his shoes and called toward the living room.
"Mom!"
"Yes?"
"I'm going to my room to write for a while. Don't call me for dinner—I'll come out later."
"Alright."
He returned to his room and opened his computer.
First, he ignored an email from his editor Kagurazaka Ayame asking about the manuscript.
Then he opened LINE.
Red Superman:
[Not playing today.]
Strongest Beautiful Girl LN Author:
[Why are you replying so late?!]
Ishikawa smiled slightly.
[Because something interesting happened at school today.]
[The people involved in the car accident were all gathered into a club.]
And so he began describing everything he had observed that afternoon.
---
A satisfied smile appeared on Ishikawa Hikaru's face.
The light novel industry was both deceptive—and cruel.