"Grimhook," Xavier called over his shoulder, "you're telling me this place has been sitting empty since the last Xavier croaked in '89? No cousins, no shady uncles, nothing? Just… poof, extinct until I showed up?"
The house-elf popped into existence right beside the tray, bat ears quivering with excitement.
"Yes, Master! House Moretti was cursed... old blood feud with the Malfoys, something about a stolen grimoire and a very angry veela. Grimhook kept the wards alive, sir, but the magic… it was sleeping. Now it sings! Like it knows Master is the real deal!"
Xavier snorted into his tea. "Flattery will get you everywhere, little dude. But seriously... call me Xavier. Or Xav. None of this 'Master' crap unless we're in public and I'm pretending to be an asshole."
Grimhook's tennis-ball eyes went comically wide. "B-but Master Xavier, elves is not supposed to—"
"Fuck what elves are 'supposed' to do. You want socks? You'll get socks. You want a raise? I'll invent wizard unions just to give you one. Now spill... how the hell do I actually use this magic?!"
Before Grimhook could answer, the blue system box slammed into existence.
[Congratulations!]
[First Ability Unlocked: Magic Skill Copy.]
Xavier choked on his tea. "Wait, what?"
[Observe any magical skill or spell in action. Copy it instantly. Master it at the original user's level... or better, because you're you. No cooldown. No mana cost. No wand required if you don't feel like it.]
"Holy shit," Xavier breathed. He spun away from the window, eyes gleaming. "Grimhook. Do something... Anything. House-elf magic. Right now!"
The elf tilted his head, confused but eager. "Er… Master wants Grimhook to… clean?"
"No, no... something cool. Apparation. The super-secret elf version that ignores wards and anti-apparation jinxes. Do it across the room. Go!"
Grimhook shrugged, snapped his fingers, and vanished. He reappeared on the chandelier, hanging upside down like a smug bat.
"Like that, Master Xavier?"
Xavier stared. The system pinged.
[Skill Copied: House-Elf Apparation (Perfect Mastery).]
[You can now pop anywhere you've been or can vividly imagine.]
He felt it immediately... the knowledge slotting into his brain like he'd been born with it. No headache, no learning curve, just pure, delicious instinct. Xavier snapped his fingers experimentally.
*Crack*
He was suddenly standing on the chandelier too, right next to Grimhook, who yelped and nearly fell.
"Fuck yes!" Xavier whooped, arms spread for balance.
Grimhook's ears flapped in pure panic. "Master! The chandelier is very old! It is not for standing!"
"Relax, I got this." Xavier snapped again and reappeared on the floor, perfectly steady. "Okay, new rule: you demonstrate every single house-elf trick you know. I'm copying the whole damn arsenal. Then we're raiding the library."
The next twenty minutes were pure chaos and laughter. Grimhook popped around the room demonstrating everything... silent cleaning charms that folded laundry mid-air, instant food summoning that made a full English breakfast appear on the table, even a little shielding bubble he used when the old master threw vases.
Xavier copied every single one. By the end he was juggling plates with a wave of his hand, teleporting bacon straight into his mouth, and laughing so hard his sides hurt.
"Grimhook, my man, I'm stealing your entire job description and making it look effortless."
The elf beamed, tears of joy in his eyes. "Master Xavier is… kind. And very, very scary powerful."
From the mirror came a dry sniff. "If you two are quite finished playing with the help, perhaps the new Dark Lord would like to know his family's actual secrets? There's an entire forbidden wing full of grimoires that would make Bellatrix Lestrange cream her robes."
Xavier pointed at the mirror. "You. I like you. Snarky as hell. What's your name again?"
"I do not have a name, sir. I am the Mirror of House Moretti. But if you insist on familiarity, you may call me Reginald. Everyone else did before they died horribly."
"Reginald it is. Lead the way, Reg. Grimhook... breakfast to go. We're raiding the library."
They moved through the manor like a trio of delinquent tourists. Blackthorn Manor was ridiculous... corridors lined with portraits that whispered insults until Xavier flipped them off and copied a silencing charm from one of Grimhook's demonstrations.
"Alright, system. Time to break shit."
He pulled a random tome *Curses of the Forgotten Bloodlines* and flipped it open.
The pages tried to bite him. He grinned, held it out to Grimhook.
"Reginald, narrate something. Grimhook, do that shield bubble again but bigger."
While the elf cast, Reginald's snooty voice read a passage aloud about a curse that turned enemies inside out.
Xavier watched the magic, felt the shape of it in the air, and—
[Skill Copied: Bloodline Inversion Curse (Mastery).]
[Warning: Extremely illegal.]
Xavier tested it on a floating candle. One lazy flick and the candle screamed, flipped inside out, and became a tiny screaming bat before he canceled it with a laugh.
"This ability is fucking broken..."
He started pacing, tea sloshing. "I'll copy every spell I see. Maybe drop in on little Harry early... give the kid some real guidance instead of letting Dumbledore play chess with his life. Or… fuck it, let's go mess with Diagon Alley tomorrow. I'll pop in, copy every shopkeeper's best trick, and leave them wondering who the new player is."
Reginald cleared his non-existent throat. "A word of caution, sir. The moment you use that power openly, Dumbledore will feel it. The old goat has eyes everywhere. And the Dark Lord... when he finally claws his way back he will come for you."
Xavier's grin turned razor-sharp. "I'll copy his Avada Kedavra!"
Grimhook wrung his ears nervously. "Master Xavier… there is one more thing. The ancestral vault beneath the manor. It has been sealed since the last master died. Only the true heir's blood and a very powerful spell can open it. Grimhook thinks… Grimhook thinks you could copy the opening spell from the wards themselves if you watch closely."
Xavier stopped pacing. His eyes lit up like Christmas came early and brought explosives.
"Grimhook. Reginald... You beautiful bastards!"
He set his teacup down with deliberate care.
"Take me to the vault. Right now!"
The house-elf snapped his fingers. The three of them vanished.
Deep beneath Blackthorn Manor something massive and hungry stirred in the dark.
And somewhere far away in a cupboard under the stairs, a scrawny boy with a lightning scar shivered for no reason at all.