I'm going to kill myself.
The wind atop this grassy mountain blows against me as if its pushing me away from the edge. I won't let a coincidence like that keep me from ending it all again. Ironically I'm afraid of heights but when I know that the fall will feel fun as if I am flying until the very end it all seems to evaporate from my mind.
I hate the life that I've lived up to now, 23 and no friends, a failed love life and I'm struggling to make ends meet at every degrading turn and favor that I take. I take a step towards the edge of Roronet Mountain and I hold my breath, for a brief moment I make an ugly crying face and then instantly go back to a straight face letting go of any regret in my life in that instant. I shake off any nerves that i had, any urine that want's to leave my body and dramatically crouch into a leaping position and jump off as if I was a carefree frog.
I'm falling! I can feel the insane rush of my beating heart thumping and punching the walls of my chest as if it's trying to break free from my rib cage, feeling more alive than I ever have I spread out all my limbs like a starfish and smile while the wind of the fall mushes my face like dough making my entire body feel numb like TV static. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I yell letting out all my frustrations in a harrowing noise that would surely give me a soar throat. I huff and fiddle with my voice as I get closer to the ground fearing what I've done. I almost want to live, but no! It's too late! "AGHHHHHHH!" I scream in frustration knowing that I'm a natural born loser. I hate myself. I hate how I act. I hate my personality and feelings.
I fumble and twist as I curl into the fetal position mid-air digging into my face enough to bruise and then wait for it all to end, too much of a coward to face my death head on. Hearing the wind gush against my ears and my equilibrium shift to adjust to the pressure change in altitude I can't hear anything and It feels somewhat ethereal. Is this really what I wanted? It's not like I was starving on the brink of death, a slave, molested, terminally ill or any other valid reason to come up with the decision of suicide. I had a normal life with bad luck, some happy moments and I could've kept going. Why did I do this? Why did I do this. I'm such a stupid fool. To make such a cowardly decision for such an absolutely WEAK reason that is my life is too hard and that I'm depressed. "RAHHHHHHHH!" I rage at myself as my head hurts from the stress I've put on my stress and brain as I grip my head ready in rage and regret flailing my legs like a toddler. Die. Just die already. Die, die, DIEEEEEE! why is this fall taking so long? End it now! I can't take this anymore I-
A glimmer catches my red tear filled eyes as I slowly open them towards a twinkling light. "What is that?" I mumble weakly to myself. A star? It's so flashy and bright I cant figure out what it is and my blurry vision isn't helping whatsoever. Whatever. I'm too tired to wonder right now. Take me now, I'm ready. I close my eyes waiting for the climax. What a waste, I piss myself as I continue my fall ready to forever sleep.
The sun is rising beautifully ,kissing all the grass, trees and flowers it sees. A vulture flies over head. It looks ready to perch a supposed meal at the bottom of a tall mountain's base. It's strange, the body almost looks like it's just sleeping and not dead. The bird doesn't question the bodies state of life and perches its shoulder ready to peck out its closed eye. In an instant it is shooed away by...someone? The body still lays dormant. So who shooed it away? The person is sleeping, and something is watching him intently. The sun pokes into his eyeball and he recoils in discomfort, resulting in him recoiling and covering his face with his dirty black hoodie. Whatever is watching him is intrigued and peers into his face. It waits for a moment as his face goes into a state of rest again and hesitates slightly but moves to touch his face. It pokes his chin and pulls away quickly, fearing that it might wake him. a few seconds after the poke it makes another attempt to touch his face and slowly moves his hoodie away from his face to see his face better. It looks in interest as it analyzes the man's unkempt chest nut skin, black facial hair and bumpy hairline. The body scratches and tries to fix its crotch as it it wet with a bad smell and making him uncomfortable. The assumed person leaves him alone, after satisfying its curiosity of seeing it's face and stays next to the man.
3 hours pass and its 8:00 AM. Many people should be going to work or school on this Monday morning. The man twitches and turns as he feels uncomfortable having lay on such bumpy terrain and opens his rheum covered dark brown eyes rubbing them in discomfort. He blinks trying to catch his bearings. First he sees his hand laying on the grass then the trees and then an angel...wait what? An angel? Angels don't exist. He squints in confusion at a faintly glowing yellow person. They are sitting with their knees covering their face and their arms hugging them not baring a halo nor wings just a body completely incased in a yellow light. What the hell? The man raises his body fully to sit up in the grass and sluggishly rubs his eyes intensely to see what is in front of him...and....Its...a girl?