Lights are out in the swimming pool's changing rooms. I feel nauseous from holding my breath underwater and from the newly acquired information that someone wants me dead.
I probe the wall and manage to find the light switch. The electricity comes on with a loud buzz. The lockers emerge from darkness, looking eerie and very, very yellow.
I quickly walk over to my locker and shove the keys inside while I check to my right and left.
The key jams at the worst moment it could have jammed.
"Stupid locker!" I energetically wiggle the key inside, but it isn't turning all the way. It reminds me of the locked door at the antique shop. I've been going there every night, begging to be let inside, but the entrance to the Order's headquarters remains firmly shut.
While I am struggling with the key, I hear an unpleasant scratching sound on the floor, as if a miniature human is dragging something heavy on the floor. Someone is definitely there with me. I freeze. The thing stops moving too. We are just standing in the room, waiting for each other to act.
"Is somebody there?" My voice sounds pathetic.
Silence.
"That's it…" I am getting the hell out of here. I turn the key with all my might. The lock finally gives in, breaking the key inside.
I throw the broken piece of metal on the ground and kick it under the locker.
A frightened yelp comes out of there.
"Who the hell?" I drop to my knees and look under it.
There is a huge cockroach looking at me.
I yell and recoil, painfully colliding into a locker behind me.
I hate cockroaches. Literally despise them. And this one is disgustingly overgrown, nearly the size of an average mouse. It crawls out and, to my horror, opens its mouth and starts talking to me in a quiet but powerful female voice, as if its voice is amplified tenfold.
"Nia Nelia… Nia Nelia… let it go. Don't pursue it."
"Don't pursue what?"
"Anything. Don't pursue anything that leads to the Order. Because we will come for you and your mother! Yes!"
"Who the hell are you?!" At this point I suspect that it's the older woman, whose voice I heard underwater several minutes ago. She was referred to as "grandma" by the girl.
"Doesn't matter. Just live your life and you will be fine. Forget your gift, forget the order, forget…" Suddenly the cockroach starts to cough violently.
"Umm, why are you coughing?" I ask, utterly confused.
"None of your goddamn business!" The cockroach snaps at me. "ANYWAY, you heard me. Stop doing what you're doing, or you will pay! YOU WILL PAY! YOU WILL DIE!"
"Are you threatening me?"
"Yes, you stupid little girl! Obviously I am! What do you think I'm doing here in this stupid room, waiting for you to show up! If it was up to me, I'd kill you right here, right now…"
Without thinking, my foot comes down onto the cockroach. There is a loud crunch.
I don't want to face the disgusting, squashed insect underneath my slipper. So I leave it on the floor and hop to the locker with my left foot. I quickly take out my bag and hop back toward the shower.
I need to get the hell out of here as soon as possible.
I take a shower at lightning speed, just rinsing my body with hot water. There is no time for soap…
So who the hell was that talking cockroach?! Was it really the grandma whose voice I heard in the pool? Why was she talking to me through a cockroach? Am I even alive at that point? Maybe I drowned in the pool and now my soul is floating in the locker rooms, hallucinating about some weird stuff.
How did they even know I was terrified of cockroaches? Why were they threatening me through an insect?
And most importantly, who were THEY?
Not even bothering to dry my hair, I run out of the building. My mom is on a business trip and won't be back until morning. But even if she was free to talk, I wouldn't have called her.
The cold air hits my wet head.
The hood on my winter coat isn't helping at all.
As you know, my father always told me that if I ever see something suspicious, I should run the other way… Well, dad… The "suspicious" is actively following me now. And I'm alone against it. I don't even have him by my side anymore. No adult figure to help me out. I even contemplate calling my neighbor Gocha for help, but then dismiss the idea. What am I supposed to say? Talking cockroaches and demons are after me?.. Forget it.
All of a sudden I feel so alone I nearly collapse on the stairs. My surroundings look so alien and unwelcoming, like I'm floating in a ghost town. I'm a nobody with no future. Haven't done anything worthwhile, nothing I do matters.
I run.
My head is swirling, I feel nauseous, cold and very, very lonely.
A small person is running parallel to me on the other side of the street. Its feet are moving unnaturally fast and I suspect it is a demon again, disguising itself as a child.
"Great, who else?! Who else is after me? Just come out! All at the same time!" I shout at the demon.
The demon stops and stares for a while, then shudders with its whole body and melts into the dark ground, disappearing into the night.
I have creatures after me that aren't even human. I have no idea what I'm dealing with and how to fight back.
My feet bring me to the antique shop again.
This time I don't even bother to try the door, I just lean onto it and slide down to the cold pavement.
My scalp is completely frozen.
I wrap my arms around myself and exhale cold air. I try to ignore the cold as much as I can, but it's not working.
I know that If I don't move soon enough, I'll freeze to death…
I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
After several minutes of darkness, a door opens near me and someone steps out.
"Nia, get up." I hear Manuchar's calm voice. "You will freeze out here."
"Manu?" I mumble.
"Manuchar." He corrects me, grabs my upper arm and pulls me up from the ground, scrutinizing me with furrowed eyebrows.
"The hell happened to you? Water is dripping from your hair, are you insane?"
"I was at the pool. Listen, people are planning to get rid of me. I need to talk to Father Seraphim! Please!" And to my horror, I start to cry. "Nobody cares about me, my mom hasn't even called since she left for the business trip."
Manuchar awkwardly scratches his neck.
"Umm, Nia, you can come in. Father Seraphim called for you, that's why I'm here. To take you to the headquarters… Please stop crying."
I wipe my nose on the sleeve of my coat.
"You're letting me in?" I ask hopefully.
"Hurry, we probably already attracted too much attention."
I look around, the street seems deserted.
He ushers me in the shop and immediately locks it.
"Sorry for crying, I just feel so cold and alone."
"Umm, you're not alone, you're talking to me now, aren't you? I'm here."
"Yeah, but…"
"And you will get warm in the headquarters. We have a fireplace. Come on."
I wipe my nose on my sleeve again. This time a little more cheerfully.
Manuchar blows the air at the "Eternal Damnation" drawing again. I don't want to look at it so I avert my eyes, looking at Manuchar's side profile instead. He looks creepy in the dark lighting of the shop, his scar seems alive, coiling like a snake on his face. But I am so thankful to him for bringing me inside, he is more like an angel sent from heaven.
We step into the mysterious tunnel. I illuminate the way with my phone's flashlight. There are some engravings on the walls that I didn't notice the first time I was here. They seem to be telling incredible stories, I even catch a glimpse of a winged horse with a horn on its forehead, soaring in the sky, a tall man on its back. I want to stop and look at it properly but Manuchar is hurrying me.
"Walk faster and be quiet, Father Ilarion is sleeping."
"Who?.."
"Shh."
I open the door, entering the vast hall. It is as beautiful as I remembered, maybe even more beautiful at night. It is dimly lit with old-fashioned lamps, the colored windows are gleaming under the light, the floor is shiny, as if I could glide on it if I wanted to.
A huge full moon is visible through the window…
But it is impossible, the moon was crescent when I looked up at it from the street.
I stop and stare with an open mouth. What kind of technology is this? Does this place exist in some other reality?
"Nia, stop stopping! Come on!" Manuchar nudges me from behind.
I want to stay in the hall longer, taking it all in, in case it is my last visit there, in case Father Seraphim changes his mind and kicks me out again, but, I guess, Manuchar does not care about any of that.
We finally cross the hall and turn a corner. There are eleven human skulls (are they human?) displayed in glass cases. I try to get closer to them, but Manuchar nudges me towards the last door on the right. If I'm not mistaken, the mahogany door is adorned with obsidian stones. I try to take a closer look, but Manuchar opens the door and ushers me inside a spacious study room. The fireplace is the only source of light that doesn't even reach to the high ceiling of the room. It is only enough to cast a warm, dim glow on the scarce furniture: a gorgeous, antique table, two chairs, two armchairs and a tiny, three-legged coffee table perched next to the sofa.
Warmth radiates towards me, enveloping me like a blanket, I immediately shudder. Now that I feel warmth, I realize how cold I've been.
Father Seraphim is sitting in one of the two red armchairs, gazing into the fire. His silky, black hair is down to his shoulders and, if I'm seeing correctly, a little smile is playing on his lips. He has a heavy book spread onto his lap, looking like he's deep in thought.
Manuchar clears his throat, trying to get his attention. Father Seraphim turns his head towards us. His gaze falls onto Manuchar first, his kind eyes twinkle, he seems glad to see him. I smile and wave at the monk, trying to get his attention now that he doesn't want me kicked out. The monk's black eyes slowly shift to me and for a second or two, his pleasant smile stays unchanged. Relief floods my being.
But suddenly, out of the blue, recognition dawns on him and, to my horror, it happens again… the thing I dread the most.
His kind face morphs into rage, he raises his trembling finger at me and shouts at the top of his lungs.
"I told you not to let the girl inside! Get out! GET OUT OF HERE!"
I turn and run to the door. I want to get out of here and hide from this humiliation forever. A grown man shouting at me, telling me to leave… Wait…
I stop at the door and turn around.
Who the hell does he think he is? Even my father has never shouted at me my whole life!
I feel a powerful current of energy rising in my chest. I look him in the eyes and raise my finger at him.
"No! I'm not leaving! And don't you dare shout at me again!" I yell back at him.
"I said get out! You don't belong here! You are not gifted enough! " He bellows so loudly, even Manuchar flinches beside me.
"You're wrong! I have amazing gifts! I can be very useful!"
"We don't need you! You are worthless!" He shouts at me again.
"I'm not worthless! I'm not! I'm valuable, you… you stupid old man!" I turn to Manuchar. "You said he invited me here! Why did you lie?!"
Manuchar is speechless. He shrugs his shoulders helplessly and looks at Father Seraphim pleadingly, asking for guidance.
"Well fuck you too! You and your Order Of the Crooks!" I say with a wave of my hand.
"Crux not crooks." Manuchar corrects me, scandalized.
"No, you are CROOKS! You all suck!"
And suddenly I hear a hysterical laughter coming from Father Seraphim's direction. There is no way he is laughing, is there?
I turn my head and indeed, Father Seraphim is laughing so hard, he nearly slides down to the floor.
"Are you… are you laughing at me?" I ask him, voice quivering.
He, somehow, starts to laugh even harder, he is now close to choking.
"Nia… Nia…"
"What?"
"You are accepted, child. Come here."
"What?!"
He beckons me towards him and pats my head.
"I'm so sorry for putting you through this, child. But unfortunately, these are the rules of our recruitment. The student has to DEMAND their place in the order. You must want it more than anything in your life, that's when we accept you. You mustn't be deterred by rejection, humiliation and even by being yelled at. You must insist again and again on being a part of us. And you did it! Congratulations my child, you are now a Yellow Duckling, though the lowest rank, still a very dear part of the order. Nia Nelia, welcome to the Order of the Crux. Give me your coin."
I, completely dumbfounded, take out the large silver coin from my bag and hand it to him.
He takes the coin. My gaze follows his hands, which are paler than the skin on his face and neck, so pale that they're glowing like two weirdly shaped moons in the half-dark room.
Seraphim squeezes the coin in his right hand, closes his eyes and says a little prayer in a foreign language I don't recognise. Then he hands the coin back. The metal is hot and the X symbol is glowing.
"This will notify us of your whereabouts. Don't lose it." Then he looks at Manuchar. "By the way, she is freezing. Bring her tea, a cake and a wool blanket!"
My mood does a 180 degree turn, I fall to my knees in front of Father Seraphim and squeeze his hand.
"Oh my God! Thank you so much, Father Seraphim. I swear I won't disappoint and I'm so sorry for the rude things I said back there, I didn't mean them! Thank you, thank you! I can start right now! Right this instant!" I cry out in utter happiness.
Father Seraphim laughs again, shaking his head.
"See, Manuchar? This is the determination I wanted to see from you when you first joined."
Manuchar rolls his eyes and prepares to leave the room, probably to bring me tea, but then he changes his mind midway, pauses with his hand clutching the doorknob and addresses Father Seraphim.
"I'm really tired of playing these games, Father Seraphim. Every time someone new needs to be recruited I have to put on an Oscar-worthy performance, acting like we don't desperately need them in the order! But Nia, if only you knew how understaffed we are!.. We need people like air! AIR!" Manuchar looks at me intensely, then pierces Father Seraphim with his sharp gaze and finally leaves the room, banging the door shut.
Father Seraphim turns serious.
"He's right. We desperately need you and anyone with an ounce of talent. We were so scared you would give up on us and leave… You will have to work hard, though, Order work is not a walk in the park. We have a lot to do and there's so little time."
"Little time until what?" I ask.
"Well, let's just say, the enemy is closing in on us," he says mysteriously "Now tell me everything, who attacked you, what did you overhear… everything."
He closes the book on his lap, puts it aside and clasps his hands in anticipation.
I tell him about my new power and the dialogue that I overheard in the water between a girl and her grandmother.
Seraphim is listening to me very intently, nodding to himself from time to time, while stroking his beard.
He seems anxious.
"I need to think. This is all very interesting indeed."
"Do you have any idea who those people were?" I ask him. "Those voices."
"I have my suspicions, but…" He shakes his head. "By the way, Nia, your new power is called Channeling, a very rare power to possess, hearing conversations underwater. You involuntarily channeled two people who were talking about you."
Manuchar re-enters the room, carrying a big mug of hot tea, a large piece of raspberry cake and a fluffy, green blanket draped over his shoulder.
"It was Father Ilarion's birthday today. I mean, yesterday." Seraphim looks up at the clock on the wall. "The cake is delicious, Nia. Don't even think about refusing it."
Manuchar puts the tea and cake on a tiny table in front of the fire, dragging an empty armchair closer to it and motions for me to sit down.
I gladly sit, melting into the comfortable cushion.
The fluffy blanket is immediately wrapped around my shoulders.
"Thank you Manuchar."
"You're welcome." Manuchar smiles at me.
He is kind of beautiful.
"Wow you can actually smile?" I ask, sipping tea.
"Well, you're not really a bouquet of sunshine yourself." Says Manuchar. "I'm so cold and alone, boohoo." He quotes me from earlier with a mocking voice.
I feel my face heat up with anger.
"You bitch!" I try to slap his arm but he jumps backward, dodging it.
Father Seraphim laughs to himself, shaking his head.
I take a bite of my cake and freeze from shock. It's the most delicious cake I've ever had.
"Wow!" I say with astonishment, wolfing down the rest of the cake. I wish Manuchar had brought two slices instead of one.
"Nia, you must be tired. When you're warm enough, we will take you home." Says Father Seraphim.
"But I have so many questions."
"Tomorrow. We will arrange our meeting tomorrow and I will impart on you all the information a Yellow Duckling is allowed to possess. Deal?"
"Deal." I answer.
____
While I am waiting for Father Seraphim to call a taxi for me, (he insisted, even though I told him I could order a taxi for myself) I head to the bathroom.
Manuchar's directions are severely unclear, I make a wrong turn and get lost. The corridor is dim, it's hard to make anything out. I squint my eyes and turn another corner, entering another deserted corridor. I want to shout for help, but I remember that someone named Father Ilarion is sleeping, and I don't want to wake him up.
Finally, after what seems like eternity, I see a large door that looks like an exit.
I push it open.
When my eyes adjust to the dark, a breath catches in my throat.
A very tall man, maybe in his 30s, is sleeping in a large bed. He has tanned skin and white tattoos covering his body.
His long, silky white hair is cascading down to the floor. He's wearing a thin black robe with a shiny silver belt around his waist.
He looks superhuman with his perfect build and otherworldly features.
I've never seen a mythical god before, but I'm sure they look something like this.
"I guess you found Father Ilarion." Whispers Manuchar behind me. I jump from fright and immediately close the door so as not to wake up the creature.
"Who the HELL?! What… WHAT is he?"
"Well, let's just say, he's a friend… because if he wasn't, we would have been done for. Come, the taxi is waiting."
Manuchar guides me back through the dimly-lit corridors.
This is by far the strangest day in my life.