[Hermes Familia]Chief Deity. — Hermes.
『Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? — Memoria Freese』
Hermes / CV: Saitou Souma. Chief deity of a mid-tier faction. He often takes off without warning to travel beyond Orario — a god who lives entirely as he pleases. He appears to be quietly conducting something behind the scenes, though his goal remains unknown. He seems to have a particular interest in Bell.
©Fujino Omori-SB Creative Corp / Danmachi2 Project
Meeting Haimer's gaze, the smile on Hermes' face stiffened visibly.
"Well, well — Haimer-sama, it's been quite a while."
He let out two dry laughs, reaching up to tug at the brim of his hat, attempting to disguise the unnatural twitch at the corner of his mouth.
"I've only just gotten back from running errands outside, you see — there's a whole heap of mess waiting for me back at the Familia, so I'm rather in a hurry —"
As Hermes spoke, his heels were still inching, almost imperceptibly, deeper into the alleyway.
"As a matter of fact, that captain of mine has quite a temper. If I get back late, she's bound to lob a magic item at me and blow me clean off my feet."
Haimer watched Hermes coming toward him with that smile plastered all across his face, and refused to take the bait of his easy, familiar small talk.
"Since you've only just gotten back from out there."
Haimer's tone was even, and he reached down to absently smooth his cuff.
"Then you must be remarkably well-informed about news from beyond the city, I'd imagine?"
"Since we've run into each other — why don't you keep me company for a walk."
Hearing that, the smile on Hermes' face froze on the spot.
At this moment, he was one hundred percent certain that he had been marked.
"This…"
Hermes' face had gone stiff and ashen. His fingers scratched twice at his cheek; even the eight-sided silver-tongued patter he was famed for at every gathering of the gods had jammed up tight in his throat.
"Since the invitation comes from you personally."
Hermes swallowed.
"Then naturally, to obey would do more honour than to decline. The only question being… where exactly were you thinking of strolling to?"
"Nowhere in particular."
With that.
Haimer simply turned and, without so much as a backward glance, walked off in the direction of the main thoroughfare of West Street.
Hermes had no choice but to bite the bullet and follow.
The whole way, Hermes walked in a state of acute discomfort.
His eyes darted left and right, his gaze unable to settle on any one spot. He couldn't shake the feeling that the eyes of every adventurer passing them by had been transformed into so many blades hanging at his throat.
After all, in Orario these days, was there anyone who didn't know that getting too close to this black-haired god was an easy way to bring catastrophe down on your head?
Haimer walked on ahead.
The afternoon sun slanted across the buildings along the street, drawing out long shadows.
"The vacant ground out in the outer district — they certainly haven't wasted any time getting construction underway."
Haimer's gaze settled on a horse-drawn cart hauling great blocks of stone up ahead, and he spoke.
Hearing this, Hermes nodded along.
"That they haven't. I only arrived a short while ago, and already the whole of Orario is buzzing about it. After all — to build a castle in the outer ring on a scale capable of housing a thousand people — that's no small undertaking."
As he spoke, Hermes was darting quick glances toward the sides of the street.
In front of a shop selling armour, two beastman adventurers who had been picking over a set of light armour, the moment they spotted Haimer drawing near, immediately broke off their conversation, set the bracers they had been holding back onto the stall, swiftly turned around to face the wall of the shop, and stood there in silence.
A peddler pushing a handcart pulled his cart to the side of the road, hung his head, and stared fixedly at the ground — not daring to raise his head again until Haimer and Hermes had walked past him by a good ten metres or more.
Every stretch of street through which Haimer passed seemed to be pushed open by some unseen hand. Passersby and adventurers alike voluntarily cleared a wide channel down the middle, and not a single soul dared so much as raise their voice in his vicinity.
Hermes, walking alongside Haimer, saw every one of these reactions with perfect clarity. He reached up, tugged at his collar, and undid one of his buttons, trying to draw breath a little more easily.
Haimer's gait remained unhurried, entirely unaffected by the shifting atmosphere around him.
However.
Haimer's ear gave a very faint twitch.
Amid the noisy backdrop of the street, he had immediately caught hold of an irregularity.
At a point roughly five metres behind himself and Hermes.
There lay a patch of open ground washed through by sunlight.
A faint disturbance of air was occurring there.
The unmistakable sound of a shoe sole touching down on bluestone paving. So tightly controlled that it was even fainter than a single leaf falling to the ground.
Alongside that footstep, Haimer also detected a peculiar fluctuation of magical energy.
It was as though a membrane had been wrapped around a living human body, sealing off the reflection of light, achieving complete optical invisibility.
Capable of granting a state of full transparency.
Haimer realised at once whose work this had to be.
—— The Captain of [Hermes Familia], Lv. 4.
—— 「Perseus」, Asfi Al Andromeda.
Likely because it would have been awkward, in full public view, to be seen having too much contact with someone standing in the eye of the storm like Haimer — the put-upon, ever-overworked captain of [Hermes Familia] had had no choice but to use her own magic items to conceal herself and follow along behind.
Haimer didn't bother calling her out.
The street really wasn't the right place for a conversation; the way passersby visibly shrank from him and went out of their way to give him a wide berth was simply too conspicuous.
And so.
Haimer cast about for a relatively quieter direction.
However.
In this part of the city, the only spot Haimer could think of that would offer some degree of amusement, and where the proprietress would manage to receive him with at least a measure of composure, was probably the one place.
"We've walked a fair while."
"Let's find somewhere to sit for a bit."
With that in mind, Haimer looked at the street ahead, his tone perfectly even.
Hermes blinked at that, tilted his head, and looked across at Haimer's profile.
"Where to?"
"The Hostess of Fertility."
…
And so.
The two of them threaded their way through several streets and at last arrived before the two-storey stone building.
[The Hostess of Fertility] tavern.
The dinner peak had not yet arrived.
Yet the wood-carved double doors at the tavern's main entrance stood fully open.
Inside, no small number of adventurers were already seated, downing dark ale and swapping tall tales.
Haimer stepped up onto the threshold of the tavern, crossed it, and walked inside.
As Haimer's figure appeared within the main hall of the tavern.
The chatter that had filled the place dropped off rapidly within a few seconds, and within moments had cut out entirely.
The adventurers seated at the tables nearest the door set down the food and drink in their hands; some turned their heads to look out the window, others stared at the wood grain of their tabletops, but not one of them dared let their gaze linger on Haimer.
Behind the bar counter.
The dwarf proprietress Mia Grand, standing nearly a metre eighty tall, was vigorously polishing an enormous wooden mug with a clean white cloth.
She raised her head and saw Haimer entering the hall.
Mia immediately brought the mug down hard against the counter, producing a heavy thunk.
She flung the white cloth over her left shoulder, stepped out from behind the bar, and strode forward in long, purposeful steps.
"Well, well — a rare guest."
Mia spoke, her gaze fixed on Hermes.
Hermes leaned half his body out from behind Haimer, hastily removed the feathered hat from his head, and gave Mama Mia a little wave with it.
"It's been a while, Mama Mia. Business is as good as ever, I see."
Mia planted both hands on her hips, her eyes pinning Hermes in place.
"You actually had the nerve to show your face here again, Lord Hermes."
"Let me say this up front — don't even think about running a tab on me this time."
"You still owe half the bill from last time."
Hearing this, Hermes scratched at his cheek with some embarrassment, took his hat in hand, and gave the bulging leather pouch at his waist a few reassuring pats.
"Of course not. Today Haimer himself is here — how could I possibly try to put it on a tab?"
"Find us somewhere a bit quieter, Mama Mia." Haimer said.
Mia nodded, extended one thickly muscled right arm, and pointed toward a corner at the very back of the hall, near the corridor leading to the kitchen.
"That table over there against the wall — it just happens to be free."
At that, Haimer made his way along the aisle, pulled out one of the wooden chairs, and sat down.
Hermes hurried to follow, walking around to the opposite side of the table, pulling out his own chair and seating himself.
He set the feathered hat down along the edge of the tabletop.
The tavern's waitress, Anya, dressed in her uniform and carrying a round black tray in her hands, came hurrying out from the direction of the kitchen at a brisk trot.
She had only just reached the main hall when she spotted Haimer seated in the corner — and at once her steps stumbled, her left foot catching on her right ankle, sending her staggering two paces before she managed to steady herself.
Clutching the tray tightly against her chest, she walked up to Haimer's table.
"Haimer-sama, you've come so early today, meow?"
"What can I get you?" Anya asked.
"Two glasses of ale, then."
"Right away, meow!"
Anya nodded immediately and trotted back toward the bar.
The longer Haimer went without saying anything, the more nervous Hermes became. He couldn't help laying both hands flat on the tabletop, interlacing his ten fingers together, and — watching Anya's retreating back — casting about for a topic.
"The waitstaff here are as lively as ever, aren't they."
"Do you come here often?"
Haimer leaned back against the wooden chair, his gaze drifting to the street outside the window as he asked the question.
"On occasion…" Hermes said.
"Information flows quickly through Mama Mia's place. Once adventurers have had a few too many, they love to brag about whatever they've seen down in the Dungeon or out in the world. For the price of a single drink, you can pick up no small amount of useful material."
Just as he was speaking, Anya came trotting back with two enormous wooden mugs filled to the brim with ale.
The two mugs landed on the table with a pair of muffled thuds against the wood.
"Haimer-sama, your drinks are here, meow."
Anya finished, then picked up her tray and stepped back.
Haimer made no move to touch his mug.
Hermes, however, cautiously extended his right hand, gripped the handle, and slid the mug a little closer to himself.
"Here — let's have a drink."
Hermes had just been attempting to ease the atmosphere.
Only for Haimer, the moment he drew his gaze back from the window, to fix his eyes silently on the empty air beside the seat across from him — beside Hermes.
"By the way — your captain has been standing there for quite a while now. Isn't she getting tired?"
"Eh?"
Hermes started at that, taken completely by surprise.
Haimer's gaze was directed toward the seemingly empty passage just behind and to the left of Hermes.
"That helmet can conceal a person's form, and it can even mask a portion of magical fluctuations."
Haimer kept his eyes fixed on that patch of air.
"But the gaze a young lady has been keeping locked onto me this whole time is, after all, simply too obvious."
The space around the round table fell quiet for several seconds.
Before Hermes could react and turn his head to look —
The air behind and to his left suddenly rippled, twisting like ripples in water.
Then, in the next instant.
The figure of a tall woman shimmered into being out of the air.
She had a head of short, water-blue hair, and a pair of frameless spectacles perched on the bridge of her nose.
She was dressed in a white wrap-style overcoat, beneath which was a golden sleeveless minidress.
Several pouches packed with small, intricate magic items hung from a belt at her waist, and on her feet she wore a pair of metal sandals adorned with tiny winged motifs.
And — held in her right hand was a half-enclosed helmet wrought of black metal.
The very same artefact capable of conferring upon its wearer the ability to vanish from sight —— [Hades Helm].
—— Of [Hermes Familia], Captain.
—— 「Perseus」, Asfi Al Andromeda.
『Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? — Memoria Freese』
Asfi Al Andromeda / CV: Kayano Ai. As captain, her faction is mid-tier within the city. She is endlessly run ragged by her chief deity Hermes and has no shortage of troubles — though she also possesses the capability to deftly resolve every one of those impossible problems thrown her way.
©Fujino Omori-SB Creative Corp / Danmachi2 Project
Asfi stood a little less than two metres from Hermes. She reached up with the index finger of her left hand and pushed her spectacles back up the bridge of her nose.
Then, unable to help herself, she lowered her head, looking through the lenses at Haimer where he sat in his chair.
"Haimer-sama."
"At what point did you become aware of me?"
Asfi had always carried a great deal of confidence in the invisibility properties of the [Hades Helm] she had crafted with her own hands. It came as a complete surprise to her that today, before she had even closed the distance, she had been spotted.
"Quite early on." Haimer gestured to the chair beside him, signalling that Asfi was welcome to sit down.
"From the moment you appeared at the mouth of the alley."
"In order to keep up with us, you swerved to avoid a dog-man pushing a wooden handcart. The force with which your right foot came down was just a touch heavier than your left, and your step fell out of rhythm by half a beat — producing a sound."
"Speaking of which — Miss Asfi, your actual strength must surely exceed the Lv. 2 the Guild has on record, mustn't it?"
"!!!"
The instant those words were spoken.
Behind her lenses, Asfi's eyes widened slightly, and she turned to look at her own chief deity — Hermes.
Realising that Haimer had apparently gone so far as to investigate even his own captain, Hermes couldn't help but begin to wonder whether Haimer might have taken a fancy to his hardworking, never-complaining captain.
This wouldn't do at all. If Asfi got spirited away, who on earth would be left to handle all that tedious paperwork!
"This…"
"Haimer, you couldn't possibly have taken an interest in my Asfi, could you?"
"It won't do, I tell you. Don't be fooled by the fact that my Asfi is easy on the eyes — in her day-to-day, she's appallingly stiff and rigid. Doesn't understand a single thing about humour, all she ever does is make me do work."
"You'll never get so much as a friendly look out of her in social settings — about the only thing she's good for is making magic items."
"If you've taken an interest in the children of the Lower World, I can take you for a stroll through the Pleasure Quarter — the girls there really do know how to read a man's mood…"
Even though Haimer could clearly see that Hermes was, in fact, only trying to protect Asfi —
But.
Once Hermes had got those words out of his mouth.
Haimer couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes at the man in the most thoroughly exaggerated way.
"Lord Hermes, what on earth are you saying?"
In particular, Asfi, standing right behind Hermes, having heard the whole thing out, weighed in icily, her tone weighted with menace.
Receiving the full force of Asfi's glare, Hermes immediately clamped his mouth shut, straightened up in his chair, and spread both hands wide open in supplication.
"S-sorry, sorry — I just got carried away, my mouth ran ahead of me…"
Watching Hermes wear the look of a man caught red-handed, Haimer threw Asfi a rather helpless, sympathetic glance.
"There's no need to be so on edge."
"I won't force the children of the Lower World to do anything they don't want to do."
"My only reason for seeking you out today was to learn a thing or two about news from outside."
"After all, you came down to the Lower World considerably earlier than I did, and you've been to many places."
Haimer said this with a slightly weary edge.
Hearing that, the expression on Hermes' face relaxed somewhat.
After all — that line of trade was precisely what the [Hermes Familia] specialised in.
"Information?"
"Not a problem at all!"
Hermes braced his arm against the table and leaned his body forward, drawing closer.
"As far as digging up intelligence goes — what is it you want to know? The state of affairs beyond Orario, choice pieces of court gossip from various kingdoms, or something else?"
"As long as I know it…"
As Hermes spoke, he even reached for the ale mug on the table, intending to take a sip to wet his throat and put on a proper show of professional polish.
Only for the very next second.
"Where is Zeus?"
"Pfffhcck——!!!"…
____
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