Chapter 192: Umaru's Red Packet
"It's over… at least half the city is destroyed. Is this what power from another world looks like? If I hadn't joined the Chat Group — if the Admin and Yukari-senpai and the others hadn't been here — I'd probably be dead."
The visibility wasn't great from where Umaru stood — too many high-rises in the way — but she could see the columns of smoke rising everywhere, the vast clouds of dust that had settled over the skyline like a second sky. Even at over a kilometre from the nearest devastated zone, the sirens were clearly audible.
An entire city. Most of it had become rubble.
She felt grateful and on the verge of tears at the same time. She was a homebody. She ate, she slept, she played games. Why had something like this happened to her specifically?
But I have 11,000 Points now. Plus daily sign-in income on top of that. Combined, I can actually become strong.
"Kaguya-senpai mentioned that once your physical conditioning reaches a certain level, you can go ten days without sleep and only feel slightly tired." She murmured this to herself. Her eyes lit up. "If my conditioning gets there… that's ten straight days of gaming without stopping."
The things capable of motivating Umaru toward self-improvement: games, anime, snacks — and, like any girl, the prospect of flawless skin. Members who'd spent Points on body upgrades consistently reported exactly that. She'd noticed it from the first week of sign-in income, which she'd been spending on constitution exactly as advised.
I should ask the Admin how to allocate 11,000 Points properly. I don't want to waste them. She paused. Wait — Onii-san was still at work. Is he okay? He's sensible, he wouldn't have been running around outside—
Footsteps. She turned.
Her brother Daihei was sprinting toward her, accompanied by a man with very distinctive frizzy hair. Both were gasping for breath.
She exhaled. The tension she'd been carrying released.
The two of them had looked out for each other as long as she could remember. Of course she'd been worried. And he appeared unharmed — but wait. The office was over ten kilometres away. Had they run here? Through a city full of skeleton soldiers? These two supposedly sedentary office workers?
She was still trying to process this when the familiar figures reappeared.
Ryū, Yukari, and the others had begun drifting back, quest complete.
"Adorable little Umaru-chan~ It really is the teenage form that's most charming. Sixteen years old and already this generously proportioned — what wonderful potential~ Come here, come here, big sister wants to give you a proper kiss~"
Yukari's voice carried its usual infectious energy. Umaru's face went red.
Ryū glanced at the gap youkai beside him and sighed. "You're the first to accuse me of making moves on the female members, and here you are in the act. Also — a female youkai being this interested in girls, I'm starting to wonder if your preferences run in a particular direction."
Yukari blinked. Then drew herself up with an air of supreme dignity. "My preferences are perfectly conventional! It's simply that Umaru-chan is this adorable — surely the Admin isn't unmoved?"
Ryū: "…"
Unmoved was, objectively, not accurate.
And if he claimed otherwise, this gap youkai would deploy a very specific two-syllable rebuttal.
So he said nothing.
You couldn't win an argument with Yukari. This had been established.
"The Admin really does go at it with Yukari-senpai every single time, doesn't it? This is almost like — ahem! This old man said nothing. Ahaha. Lovely weather today. Really excellent overcast skies."
Kizaru had started to say something, detected the atmosphere shifting, identified two sets of eyes turning toward him, and pivoted mid-sentence without hesitation.
The pivot was not subtle.
"Um — ahem — Umaru. These people… are they all friends of yours?"
Daihei had recovered enough breath to form sentences. He stared at the assembled strangers. Of the group, only the teenager and the blonde 'girl' looked remotely ordinary. The other two — one was floating in the air, and the other was unmistakably Kizaru.
Daihei had followed Jump. He was a One Piece reader.
He knew who Kizaru was.
Is this cosplay? Can you cosplay height? That's extremely high-level cosplay.
And the green-haired girl who's just… flying. What is that?
Most disorienting of all was that his sister clearly knew these people. The familiarity was obvious — you didn't let someone make that kind of joke around you and stay calm about it unless you were comfortable with them.
"Um — yes, they're friends of mine." Umaru said quickly. Then: "Onii-san, why did you run back from the office? It was dangerous out there — what if you'd run into a skeleton?"
Daihei scratched his head. "I just — didn't really think it through." He blinked. "Wait. Where did all your friends go? They were just — they're all gone?"
"…"
Ryū had not lingered in the Himouto! world. Their presence was too conspicuous, and the longer they stayed the more explaining Umaru would have to do. She was already clearly struggling with this one.
The kindest option was a quick exit and a white lie left behind. A lie that would require additional lies to maintain, yes — but the Chat Group was the kind of secret that produced more problems than solutions when it spread. Daihei was an ordinary person. Knowing wouldn't give him anything useful. It would only give him things to worry about.
A little while after the group had crossed back, the Chat Group updated.
My True Form Is Cola: After a lot of effort I think I smoothed it over. Whether Onii-san fully believes it I can't say, but I'm choosing to believe he does.
My True Form Is Cola: Thank you all so much for dealing with this crisis.
My True Form Is Cola: I might genuinely not be alive right now otherwise.
Terrible Tornado: Don't mention it. Mutual aid is Chat Group tradition.
Eternally Seventeen: Umaru-chan is a female member, which makes her one of the people under the protection of the Permissions Hound Yukari-sama! The fact that I didn't chase them all the way back to the undead realm is a testament to my restraint.
Eternally Seventeen: I am, after all, the Chat Group's big sister!
RawrSoFierce: …When did you suddenly get so dignified about this?
RawrSoFierce: Weren't you trying to give Umaru a kiss two minutes ago?
Crazy Diamond: My respects to the upstairs members who cleared ten thousand Points.
Crazy Diamond: A low-tier member shivers in their shadow.
Street-Corner Illustrator: A low-tier member shivers in their shadow.
Kaguya-sama: Surfacing! Breaking up the echo chamber!
[Group member "My True Form Is Cola" has sent a password red packet! Enter the correct password — "Admin is the greatest (voice crack)" — to claim!]
A bright red icon appeared in the group chat window.
Every member of the Dimensional Chat Group stopped what they were doing.
Then, in a single wave of combined instinct built over lifetimes ranging from years to millennia, every one of them lunged for the red packet with maximum hand speed.
Ryū included. Seeing a red packet and wanting to tap it had become a reflex at this point. He couldn't help it.
["My True Form Is Cola's" red packet has been fully claimed! "RawrSoFierce" is the Lucky Champion!]
Eternally Seventeen: WHY IS THE ADMIN THE LUCKY CHAMPION AGAIN?! His luck has transcended natural law at this point! How does this keep happening! A European torments this African soul!!
Eternally Seventeen: I got 5 Points from a 500-Point red packet!! FIVE POINTS!!
My True Form Is Cola: I claimed my own red packet and got 70 back lmaoooo
RawrSoFierce: [Image] — Oh nice, 170 Points.
RawrSoFierce: This was a 500-Point red packet?!
Edward Newgate: Gurararara! A red packet, how long it's been! This old man claimed 40 Points. Umaru, how about becoming my daughter? I recently acquired a Paramecia-type Devil Fruit I could pass along.
My True Form Is Cola: (°a°`) N… no thank you. The daughter offer I'll pass on.
Crazy Diamond: 30 Points! You're incredible, senpai!!
Kaguya-sama: You're incredible, senpai!!
My True Form Is Cola: Pfft… a whole crowd of seniors calling a newcomer "senpai" — doesn't that bother any of your consciences?
"…"
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