"Wow… P'Ren, is this car yours?"
Ren turned to stare at Phayu. With a proud smirk, Ren tilted his head.
The super-expensive racing-green car was custom-made by his family. Ren rarely used it, but just seeing it every day, wiping it, and sitting inside it was enough to make him happy as a car lover.
"P'Ren is really a rich man…" Phayu's cheeks flushed as he traced the shining glass of the flawless car.
"Ahem!" Ren cleared his throat. He wanted the same compliments from Mok, but Mok scoffed at Ren like he was a small fly.
The truth is, he didn't have any idea about cars, but he couldn't say it aloud.
"So petty…" Ren muttered.
"Did you say something, P'Ren?" Toffee, who was exclaiming over every small tool in the workshop, asked him.
Ren shook his head and paced towards his uncle's office.
...
Just a few minutes after Fon left, Ren came back so they could go to his workshop. Mok's car had a simple puncture in the back tire, but when Ren's family's workshop inspected it, they found several other problems.
It had been weeks since that happened. Even though Mok's car was a gift from his father, he had never even checked it once, let alone serviced it. So, it already had several problems, starting from washing it to engine work.
Mok followed Ren, while the others wandered here and there, fascinated by the large tools on display. They were boys who had been brainwashed by them.
In their little eyes, a big, open workshop along with a racing track belonged to Ren, and the only office was upstairs.
Not even the tiniest detail escaped their curious gaze.
...
Mok climbed the stairs. Tack… tick… His shoes tapped against the floor as he opened the office door after knocking.
"Sawasdee khap…" He clasped his hands together, greeting Ren's uncle.
Ren's uncle smiled and greeted Mok, and they discussed the details. One by one, he explained them.
"Mok, we changed the filters and checked the air-conditioning. Then, we changed the spark plugs and all four tires. We also washed the car. The brakes and everything else have already been tested."
"Here."
Clack!
He opened the cabinet and passed the key to Mok.
"You can come here in the future if you have any problems."
"Khap…" Mok agreed. Then, he glanced sideways at Ren, but Ren was too silent and ignored Mok.
"What about mine?"
Ren changed the subject, asking him to check his own car.
Seeing that the uncle and nephew were avoiding him, Mok finally asked aloud.
"Excuse me, about the repair cost…"
Ren swallowed. Cold sweat formed on his forehead, and his heart beat twice as fast.
"Well…" His uncle searched for words. "Ohhh… the repair cost. It's… it's… Ren already paid."
"Huh?"
Only question marks filled his brain.
Just as he was about to ask what was going on, Ren sprinted outside. No, he practically ran for his life.
"Sorry, Mok. He already said not to take money from you."
"But…" Mok slowly took a card from his pocket, which his father had given him for the repair cost.
"Mok, we don't need it. Buy something to eat."
Ren's uncle tried to convince Mok for nearly half an hour, and Mok barely agreed.
"But… I…"
"Obey what adults say…"
"But…"
"No buts… Let's go…" He draped an arm over Mok's shoulder, forcing him to walk.
After that, they had dinner there, and Ren gave them a short tour of his other house near the workshop. They even planned to spend their next vacation there.
While the gang was so happy, their partners were facing a disaster. From the day their vacation started, Toffee's phone calls had become fewer and fewer. Bua's dates with May were cut short, from a full day to half a day. Oat didn't even get a chance to see Lamon's face.
And the very reason was Ren's introduction to the gang, but the seniors were unaware of it.
They all sat in their regular spot at Paradox Bar, overthinking the little things that had happened.
'My Toffee… my baby… I'm being thrown out onto the streets…'
'Bua… I'm missing you…'
'Mon… Lamon… take my call…'
Their minds pleaded for answers to questions no one was bothering to ask.
While the atmosphere around them was gloomy, the city welcomed the night.
The small breeze and the sound of crickets filled the fields.
Finally, a warm night.
…
The next day, classes started at noon for Mok. Because of that, he was almost late to pick Noi up from kindergarten. Now, he was in a hurry but stuck in a traffic jam.
Honk!!!
"Shit!" He slammed the steering wheel.
By the time he got there, Noi and his caretaker were waiting outside. The little paws had already gotten bored, refusing to listen to anyone.
Woof!
The sound of Mok's car attracted his drooping ears.
Woof!
"Oh, our little Noi's dad is here," the caretaker said, relieved.
Woof!
His tail moved from side to side when Mok approached him. Unlike every other day, Noi ran towards him. Today, he wanted Mok to come to him.
"Sawasdee khap…"
"Sawasdee… Noi's dad."
"Sorry, khap…"
"It's alright. It's the first time this has happened, but because of that, Noi is a little scared."
'I figured it.'
Taking his bag, Mok called him. The little paws followed him obediently, full of happiness.
Woof!
…
Days passed faster than time. Some even paused to wonder why the months were passing like this, while others were scared of their future.
When assignments and work piled up for Mok,
the only way he could relieve his stress was by going for a night drive.
He simply drove alone at night. Some days, he went with Ren for a change of mind.
"I'm going…"
"Mmh… Don't drink too much…"
They waved, and Mok closed the door, taking a taxi to where Ren had texted him to go.
'We Line Bar.'
Mok showed his phone to the taxi driver. He had no idea where this place was. When he arrived, Ren was already waiting outside.
Lines of people, standing in pairs, were entering the pub. The sound of music spilled from inside, and heavily built guys guarded the entrance and the area outside.
"Ren, I don't think it's a good idea."
"It's a VIP place, Mok. I booked a table here two months ago."
"Let's go…" Ren practically forced Mok inside.
(Rap music playing)
The mixed lights on the ceiling danced along with the dancers, and the music drained their energy, but who cared?
Wooo… Ye… yes…!
You are… you are… give it to me… yes… yes…
give it to me… yes… yes… yes…
The crowd sang along with the lyrics, stamping their feet. The loud cheers were all slightly intimidating to Mok.
It was his first time coming to a place entirely different from anywhere he had been before.
He swallowed hard. Around him, people were drowning themselves in drinks to wash away their daily worries, frustrated with their lives.
Some couldn't live without it. Even knowing it was bad for their health, they still wanted it.
For some, it was fun; for others, it was like a clay pot that had already broken. They hid their tears behind the loud noises and laughter around them.
But not even once did they stop trying. Maybe the days were like people like them. Not giving up.
And there's a villain in life: fate.
Fate thought it was okay to do this, while destiny hid, scared that fate would blame it. Both destiny and fate tested them, tore them apart, and stained them, while their accomplice was the day. The night simply waited for them, telling them to forget it because tomorrow would be better.
'Oh, day, please stop punishing us.'
'Oh, night, please don't forget to come.'
The moment it did, not even the day knew how many would be lost.
Mok's eyes wandered. Taking off his glasses, he knew that in this dim light, amid all this noise, no one would have time to look at him.
Beside him, Ren was already settled in and had gone on to his second drink.
Green, red, orange… The colours changed like the tastes. Some were bitter with a slight sweetness; some were sweet but left a burning in the chest.
Gulp!
The round, wide, beautiful glasses lined up in front of the bartender. His flawless skills in crafting another work of art in a drink amazed Mok every time.
"Mok…" Ren screamed.
Mok's eardrums rang. He almost cursed Ren but stopped after seeing his condition.
"He said he doesn't like me… He said… he doesn't love me… Mok."
Ren's voice broke every time.
Mok patted Ren's back.
Thud! Thud!
"But you know, I always wondered why he slept with me, why he cared for me, why he was too good for me, Mok."
Facing Mok, Ren hit his own chest.
Pound! Pound!
"I admired him for a long time."
"I heard from others that first love would never succeed. It's real."
"… Guys' curses are real!" He shouted.
"It's real, Mok. I shouldn't have slept with him."
As he sank heavily into his seat, his head dropped and hit the bar counter.
"Ren… Ren…"
"You… Mamushi… bastard… How can you say you don't love me…?" Ren mumbled. "How…? How... you're fine after breaking me every time…"
'Mamushi…' Mok, who heard the name, paused for a second.
"Is that why you're always hot-tempered?" Mok asked.
Ren wiped his tears and sat up straight, ordering another drink whose name Mok had no idea about.
"I'm not like this. I changed after coming back from Japan. My family was shocked. Well, it's not that they care." Ren's throat felt as though it were burning with sadness.
"They never care. They want a son who won't tamper with their status."
Ren let out a long, boring sigh.
"When I saw your family, honestly, I was jealous. Why are you and I different when we're almost the same?"
"Tell me?"
Ren caught Mok by the collar, but his eyes had nothing left to answer.
His pale lips moved. "Are you sure he doesn't like you?"
Because the Ren he had seen in his house was just like his mother had said: sweet, honest, and big-mouthed, the kind who was never picky.
Their first meeting had been bad, just like the second one. And there's a saying that we can never judge a book by its cover. It was true for Mok this time. He eventually learned that to understand someone, he didn't need to do a lot of research or anything like that. Just talking wholeheartedly was enough.
"Ren… Ren…" He tried to call Ren, whose eyes wanted to rest.
"Forget it," Mok muttered.
He was already drunk, and talking to him was hopeless. But today, he felt closer to Ren than yesterday.
Ren's head rested on the counter. The bartender never cared but welcomed the next customer with a smile.
But Ren's small, big tears, which he hid, slowly dripped from his tired eyes, soaking his eyelids.
'I like you…' Ren said it a hundred times in his mind.
While cigarette smoke brushed past Ren's face, in a big bed, a naked man left him without giving him a glance. Naked, he had promised not to give himself away, not to lower his self-esteem, and told himself it was just a contract, just one month, just one... Don't fall for him.
But when he slept with him again, again, and again, he was unaware that he had fallen deeper than he had thought.
At first, he wanted his touch so he could get closer to him. But when he realised he was just another contract for Mamushi, that day, he decided.
Dates… parties… Why care about others?
The more he hid, the more unbearable it became.
But he was okay… When it really became okay, that person came again, knowing he loved him, but wanting to break him into beautiful pieces of glass.
'You can't run away, Ren…'
'Why… Just why?'
Ren didn't get up. For now, just for now, he wanted to stay like that.
'I love you… really… really…' But his heart had already carved the name he had long wanted to forget.
...
Mok shook his head.
The dizziness from the drink finally kicked in.
The coloured drink they were drinking was high in alcohol. Unbuttoning one more button, Mok patted Ren before asking about the washroom.
Click. Shut!
He wanted to puke, but nothing came, even after he tried a few times. After a long struggle, he finally stood up. His numb, cold feet and heavy eyes screamed at him to take a rest.
Splash!
He washed his face, but his reflection looked even worse.
"Jerk…"
He laughed… more out of sorrow.
Suddenly, the door opened, and he decided to get out.
His blurred vision could only see a figure coming towards him, scooping him up like a treasure.
"Mok… Mok…"
A familiar voice…
"Mok…"
A familiar scent…
"Mok…"
A familiar worry…
"K-Kao…" he asked in a quivering voice, but no response came.
"Haha… haha…"
"Jerk…" He hit the chest of that person.
How many times had he done that?
Countless.
Finally, the tears fell. Sniffing the scent, he called, "K-Kao… don't go…"
Nothing came… not even a hum.
He wished and prayed.
'Please, please let it be my Kao… I will forgive you… please…'