Mihoyo Inventory Chapter 5: The Traveler's Social Death
"Next, let us delve into the other illustrious exploits of the Traveler—Lumine!"
"Once upon a time, she was a serial fugitive!"
"In Mondstadt, incited by Venti, she was wanted for the theft of the Holy Lyre der Himmel. In Liyue, she was pursued under suspicion of assassinating the Geo Archon, Rex Lapis. In Inazuma, she became a target of the Raiden Shogun after storming the execution grounds to rescue Thoma. In Sumeru, in her quest to liberate Lesser Lord Kusanali, she was apprehended by the Corps of Thirty and cast into a dungeon. And in Fontaine, she was branded a criminal and imprisoned for the grave offense of devouring a small cake intended as a diplomatic tribute to the Hydro Archon!"
[ Genshin - Furina: What?! How dare she sneak a bite of my cake! ]
[ Genshin - Neuvillette: Lady Furina, please compose yourself. There is no need for such excessive agitation. ]
[ Honkai Impact 3rd - Bronya: This Miss Lumine's talent for causing trouble is certainly on par with Kiana's. ]
[ Honkai Impact 3rd - Kiana: Bronya, what's that supposed to mean?! ]
[ Honkai Impact 3rd - Raiden Mei: Now, now, you two. Stop bickering. ]
[ Star Rail - Aha: How delightful! This is truly, peak Elation! ]
[ Star Rail - Stelle: I didn't expect this Traveler's life to be such a tragedy. ]
…
Meanwhile, within the world of Teyvat:
"Oh no, oh no! Lumine, what are we going to do? Are we really destined to rot in a cell?" Paimon watched the revelations in the Inventory Livestream, so anxious she performed a frantic mid-air backflip.
"Maybe… I should stop looking for my brother?" Lumine stared at the grim forecast of her future, falling into a long silence before speaking softly.
"What?! Stop looking for him?!" Amber, standing nearby, was utterly aghast at the suggestion.
"I have no desire to spend my life behind bars. Besides, if this livestream is broadcasting to all of Teyvat, Aether is bound to see it. He should be the one coming to find me. If he doesn't…" Lumine's expression shifted from existential dread to a look of pure, unadulterated mischief. "Hmph, then there's no room for him in this family anymore!"
Deep within the Abyss, Aether sat upon his throne. For reasons he couldn't fathom, a sudden, piercing chill ran down his spine.
…
"Let us continue with the inventory of the Traveler Lumine's 'glorious' achievements!"
"In Mondstadt, she insulted Barbatos, the Anemo Archon, to his face and saddled him with all manner of derogatory nicknames."
"In Liyue, she had the audacity to sponge off the Geo Archon, Morax, for free meals."
"In Inazuma, she went as far as to give the Raiden Shogun, Beelzebul, a thorough thrashing."
"In Sumeru, she even accompanied Lesser Lord Kusanali, Nahida, to the restroom."
"And in Fontaine, she conspired with Neuvillette and others to bring the Hydro Archon to judgment."
…
The audience in the chat fell into a stunned silence, their expressions turning peculiar as they processed the list.
Insulting the Anemo Archon, freeloading off the Geo Archon, beating the Raiden Shogun, visiting the lady's room with the Dendro Archon, and putting the Hydro Archon on trial…
[ Genshin - Nahida: Ah… the Traveler went to the restroom with me? No, please! I'm still just a five-hundred-year-old baby! ]
[ Genshin - Nilou: You… You are actually Lesser Lord Kusanali? ]
[ Genshin - Kujou Sara: Audacious Traveler! To think you would dare offend the Almighty Shogun. Should you step foot in Inazuma, I shall ensure you regret it! ]
[ Genshin - Yae Miko: Oh my, Traveler. You actually gave my dear Ei a beating? How fascinating. ]
[ Genshin - Barbara: Traveler! How could you speak ill of Lord Barbatos? ]
[ Genshin - Venti: Oh, I'm sure the Anemo Archon wouldn't mind a few harmless jokes! ]
[ Genshin - Zhongli: My friend from Mondstadt is correct. I suspect Rex Lapis would not begrudge the Traveler a few shared meals. ]
[ Genshin - A 'Rex Lapis' Scholar: Give it a rest! Do you think you know the Lord of Geo better than I do? ]
…
Zhongli, who was quietly sipping tea, nearly spat it out upon reading the scholar's comment.
Meanwhile, aboard Herta Space Station, Xuan Yong sat on a sofa and couldn't help but burst into laughter at the exchange.
"Lord Xuan Yong, what do you find so amusing?" Herta's eyes lit up as she watched him. It was a rare sight to see an Aeon laugh so freely.
"It's nothing. I simply witnessed something rather entertaining," Xuan Yong replied, waving her off nonchalantly.
Seeing that he had no intention of elaborating, Herta sat back down, looking somewhat disappointed.
…
"Next, we present a moment of absolute social suicide for the Traveler—Lumine!"
"Lumine: 'I want to be Kamisato Ayaka's dog!'"
The screen flickered to life. The scene showed Yoimiya, Lumine, Kamisato Ayaka, and Ganyu sitting in a row, chatting idly.
But in the next heartbeat, Lumine—the Traveler—shouted the shocking declaration at the top of her lungs.
"I want to be Kamisato Ayaka's dog!"
The video cut to black.
…
[ Genshin - Paimon: Lumine… you… I didn't know you had those kinds of… tastes! ]
[ Genshin - Kamisato Ayaka: This… I… ]
[ Honkai Impact 3rd - Theresa: This… is difficult to evaluate. ]
[ Honkai Impact 3rd - Murata Himeko: Do people from other worlds really play this hard? ]
[ Honkai Impact 3rd - Raiden Mei: She's even more wild than Kiana! ]
[ Star Rail - Xuan Yong: Quite the entertainment. I believe you have the makings of a Masked Fool, Traveler! ]
[ Star Rail - Aha: Since you've said it, I agree! You definitely have the potential to join the Masked Fools, Traveler! ]
[ Genshin - Lumine: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Curse this livestream! I'll kill you! ]
…
While the Traveler was lost in a fit of powerless rage, the livestream updated with new content.
"The first Q&A session will now commence!"
"Those who answer correctly will receive rewards, such as Resurrection Items, Power-Up Items, or National Prosperity Boosts!"
[ Genshin - Raiden Ei: A… Resurrection Item?! ]
[ Genshin - Yae Miko: My, Ei, you've finally decided to speak up! ]
[ Star Rail - Welt Yang: This livestream is formidable indeed if it possesses the power to grant resurrection. ]
[ Honkai Impact 3rd - Otto Apocalypse: It seems the plan must change. ]
The intellectuals within the chat narrowed their eyes, their interest in this mysterious broadcast intensifying.
"Question: In the previous video, it was mentioned that the Geo Archon, Morax, was assassinated. Who was the culprit behind the assassination of Rex Lapis?"
"A. Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing—Ningguang"
"B. Yuheng of the Liyue Qixing—Keqing"
"C. Wangsheng Funeral Parlor Consultant—Zhongli"
"D. Fatui Harbinger—Tartaglia"
[ Genshin - Cloud Retainer: Audacious Liyue Qixing! How dare you strike at the Lord of Geo! ]
[ Genshin - Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper: It seems we have remained in seclusion for too long. The people of Liyue have forgotten our majesty. ]
[ Genshin - Mountain Shaper: I am heading to Liyue Harbor this instant. I wish to see for myself who dares lift a hand against the Lord! ]
[ Genshin - Keqing: Please, Adepti, listen to reason! We did no such thing! ]
[ Genshin - Ningguang: Keqing is right. We have never harbored such intentions. ]
[ Genshin - Uncle Tian: Great Sages, please do not act in haste. We will conduct a thorough investigation. ]
Within the Jade Chamber, the Liyue Qixing were nursing massive headaches. They never expected that two of their own would be listed as suspects, immediately drawing the ire and suspicion of the Adepti.
[ Honkai Impact 3rd - Theresa: Why are you all so certain it was the Liyue Qixing? Why aren't you looking at the other two candidates? ]
Theresa's comment caused the Adepti, who were already halfway to Liyue Harbor, to freeze in their tracks.
…