chapter 153
The moment Haru opened the bedroom door, his heart sank.
For one terrible second, he wished he had listened to the instinct that had told him to leave. He wished he had picked up his suitcase and walked back out of the apartment without following the trail of clothes. More than anything, he wished he had never opened the door.
His mind refused to understand what he was seeing.
He stood frozen in the doorway, staring at the bed as though the scene in front of him belonged to someone else's life. The room seemed strangely distant, every detail painfully clear—the rumpled sheets, the clothes scattered across the floor, the dim light falling over the bed.
Then he saw them.
Raiven.
And beside him, Chang-seo.
It felt as though the air had been knocked from Haru's lungs. His knees weakened beneath him, and he slowly sank toward the floor, one hand pressing against his chest as he struggled to breathe normally.
This couldn't be real.
Maybe it was a nightmare.
Perhaps he was still on the plane, asleep somewhere above the clouds, and his exhausted mind had created the cruelest possible dream. He almost wanted to believe that. Anything was easier to accept than what was in front of him.
A broken sob escaped before he could stop it.
Tears slipped down his face, soaking into the collar of his shirt as he stared at the bed. His lips moved, desperately trying to form Raiven's name, but his voice refused to come.
"R... J..."
Nothing followed.
Haru felt detached from his own body, as though he had been dropped into another reality where everything familiar had suddenly become wrong. The apartment had always been the place where he could let his guard down. Their bedroom had been where he had slept beside the person he loved, where ordinary mornings had begun and difficult nights had ended.
Now he couldn't even recognize it.
He tried to stand.
His legs failed him again, forcing him to catch himself against the floor. After another attempt, he managed to grab the doorframe and pull himself upright. His body was shaking, but he barely noticed.
His eyes remained fixed on Chang-seo.
That was when he saw his expression.
Chang-seo was awake.
He was looking directly at Haru.
There was no confusion in his face, no surprise at being discovered. Instead, Haru caught something in his eyes that made his stomach turn—a faint, unmistakable glint of satisfaction.
Pride.
As though this was something he had wanted Haru to see.
As though he had won.
The tears on Haru's face began to dry as his grief gave way to anger. His hands curled into fists, his breathing growing heavier while he stared at the man who had already taken so much from Raiven once.
Chang-seo had entered their lives again, and now Haru was standing in their bedroom, looking at him in their bed.
A groan came from beside him.
Haru didn't look away.
"Ha...ru..."
Raiven's voice was thick with sleep.
He shifted beneath the sheets and slowly pushed himself upright. At first, there was only confusion on his face. Then he looked at Haru properly, taking in his expression, the tears still wet on his cheeks, and the way he was gripping the doorframe.
Raiven's face fell.
He followed Haru's gaze.
Chang-seo.
Then the sheets.
The same sheets Haru had bought for their bed.
Understanding crossed Raiven's face with horrifying speed.
"Haru..."
Haru turned before he could hear anything else.
He ran.
He didn't know where he was going. He only knew that he couldn't remain in that room for another second. The image had already been burned into his mind, and he knew no explanation could erase it.
"Haru!"
Behind him came the sound of movement.
Raiven hurried out of bed, grabbing one of the sheets and wrapping it around himself before following.
"Haru, wait!"
Haru didn't stop.
He moved through the apartment with tears blurring his vision, his breathing uneven as he tried to put distance between himself and the bedroom.
He couldn't hear Raiven right now.
He couldn't listen to an explanation.
He couldn't turn around and look at him.
Not yet.
Because somewhere beneath the anger, beneath the disbelief and the pain, there was still the part of him that loved Raiven completely.
And Haru was terrified that if he stopped, if he let Raiven reach him before he had a chance to understand what he had just seen, that love would make him fall apart.
Behind him, Raiven's footsteps hurried across the apartment.
"Haru, please."
But Haru kept going.
For the first time since beginning his second life, he wanted to disappear from the world entirely.
Because the person he had trusted most had become the source of a pain he had spent two lifetimes trying to escape.