Kai Renner had exactly three seconds to process the blaring horn before the truck-kun hit him.
One second to think, Oh shit.
Two seconds to wonder if his browser history would haunt his family.
Three seconds to accept that this was, objectively, the dumbest way to die—crossing the street while arguing with customer service on his phone about a fraudulent charge of $8.99.
Then: impact, darkness, and the distinct sensation of his soul being yanked through a blender made of starlight.
When Kai opened his eyes, he was staring at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
No—woman didn't cover it. She was something else entirely.
She stood above him in what appeared to be an enormous marble hall, bathed in the soft golden light of floating orbs that drifted lazily through the air like lazy fireflies. But Kai barely registered the architecture, the intricate floor mosaics, or the dozen robed figures standing in a circle around him.
All he could see was her.
Silver-white hair cascaded down her shoulders like a waterfall of moonlight, so long it reached her thighs, each strand catching the light as though woven from silk and starlight. Her eyes were emerald green—vivid, luminous, with a faint glow that made them seem almost otherworldly. Long, elegant lashes framed those eyes, and when she blinked, Kai felt his heart skip.
Her face was a study in perfection: sharp, elegant features that were distinctly not human. High cheekbones, a delicate nose, soft lips the color of rose petals, and—his brain finally caught up—long, gracefully pointed ears that swept back from her temples.
An elf. A real elf.
And she was... built.
Kai's eyes traveled downward before his brain could stop them. Her dress was a flowing masterpiece of green and silver silk that seemed to move with a life of its own, clinging to curves that defied physics. The neckline plunged just enough to reveal the swell of a truly spectacular bust—full, round, and barely contained by the delicate fabric. Her waist was impossibly slim, cinched by a golden belt shaped like intertwining vines, which only emphasized the dramatic flare of her hips.
The dress had a high slit on one side, offering glimpses of a long, pale leg with each subtle shift of her weight.
She smelled like flowers. Not perfume—actual flowers, as though she'd just stepped out of an enchanted garden. The scent was intoxicating.
Kai realized, distantly, that his mouth was open.
"Hero," she said, her voice like honey poured over velvet. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Astoria."
Kai blinked. Then blinked again. "I'm... sorry, what?"
The elf woman smiled—a small, serene expression that somehow made her even more devastatingly beautiful—and extended one pale, delicate hand toward him. "Please, rise. You have been summoned here by our most sacred ritual, using the last of our kingdom's magical catalyst. We are in desperate need."
Kai took her hand without thinking. Her skin was cool and impossibly soft. She helped him to his feet with surprising strength, and he became acutely aware that he was still wearing his grocery-run outfit: joggers, a faded band t-shirt, and sneakers with a hole in the left toe.
"I'm Kai," he said stupidly, still holding her hand. "Kai Renner. I think there's been a mistake. I was just... there was a truck, and..."
"There is no mistake," the elf said gently, releasing his hand. She stepped back, and Kai finally noticed the other people in the room—mages in ornate robes, knights in gleaming armor, and several other noblewomen who, while beautiful, might as well have been wallpaper compared to the elf standing before him.
"I am Lady Silvael Moonshadow," she continued, placing one hand over her heart and bowing slightly. The motion caused her neckline to shift, and Kai's eyes betrayed him once more. "High Lady of the Moonveil Forests and advisor to the Crown of Astoria. You have been brought here to save our kingdom from annihilation."
"Right," Kai said weakly. "Annihilation. Cool. That's... that's great."
Silvael's expression remained serene, though a flicker of amusement seemed to dance in those emerald eyes. "The Demon Queen and her armies have invaded our continent. Her forces are vast, her magic terrible. Entire cities have fallen. Our knights and mages fight bravely, but we are losing."
She took a step closer, and Kai caught another wave of that intoxicating floral scent.
"That is why we summoned you, Hero. You are to be our salvation—the chosen one, blessed with powers beyond mortal reckoning. You will lead our armies, strike down the Demon Queen, and restore peace to our land."
Kai stared at her. Then at the expectant faces around the room. Then back at Silvael, whose perfect face was alight with hope.
"Uh," he said eloquently.
"Please," Silvael said, her voice dropping to a softer, almost intimate tone. She reached out and placed a hand on his arm. Her touch was electric. "Check your system. All summoned heroes possess one. Close your eyes and focus inward. You will feel it—the divine gift that will grant you strength."
"My... system?" Kai repeated.
"Yes. It is the manifestation of your heroic power. You need only call upon it."
Kai closed his eyes, feeling like an idiot, and tried to "focus inward," whatever that meant.
Nothing.
He focused harder.
Still nothing.
He cracked one eye open. Silvael was watching him with patient encouragement, her hand still resting on his arm. Behind her, the mages and knights were leaning forward, anticipation written across their faces.
"I, uh... I don't think I have a system," Kai said.
Silvael's smile didn't waver, but something flickered in her eyes. "Perhaps you need more time. The transition between worlds can be disorienting. Try again."
Kai closed his eyes and really tried this time, reaching for some kind of mental interface or video-game menu screen or anything that might indicate supernatural power.
Absolutely nothing.
"Yeah, no," he said, opening his eyes. "There's definitely no system. I don't have any powers. I'm just... a guy. A regular, boring, very mortal guy who was about to eat leftover pizza before a truck killed me."
The room went silent.
Silvael's hand slipped from his arm. Her smile faltered. "You... have no powers?"
"Nope."
"No divine blessing? No legendary skill? No unique ability?"
"Not unless you count being pretty decent at spreadsheets."
Silvael took a step back, her ethereal grace momentarily disrupted by what Kai could only describe as dawning horror. Around the room, the mages began muttering to each other in panicked whispers. One of the knights actually slumped against a pillar.
"But..." Silvael's voice was barely a whisper. "We used the last catalyst. The ritual cannot be performed again. You were supposed to be our only hope."
Kai winced. "Yeah, about that... I think your summoning circle might have grabbed the wrong guy. I'm nobody special. I work in IT. I can't even do a push-up without stopping halfway."
One of the mages—a balding man in purple robes—stepped forward, his face pale. "My Lady Silvael, this is a disaster. Without a hero, the kingdom will fall within the year. The Demon Queen's armies are already at the northern border. We—"
"I am aware, Magister Edon," Silvael said sharply, her composure cracking for just a moment. She closed her eyes, took a slow breath, and when she opened them again, her expression was calm once more—though Kai could see the tightness around her mouth.
She looked at him, and for a moment, Kai saw something heartbreaking in those emerald eyes: disappointment so profound it made his chest ache.
"Forgive us, Kai Renner," she said quietly. "It seems we have wasted both your life and our kingdom's final hope."
Kai opened his mouth to respond—to apologize, to crack a joke, to do something to ease the crushing weight of failure that had just descended on this beautiful, desperate woman—
And then the world lurched.
A glowing blue screen exploded into existence directly in front of his face.
[SYSTEM INITIALIZATION COMPLETE]
Kai yelped and stumbled backward. "What the—"
[WELCOME, KAI RENNER]
[ANALYZING HOST...]
[ANALYSIS COMPLETE]
[CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE BEEN GRANTED: THE BREEDING SYSTEM]
Kai froze. "The... the what?"
Silvael stepped forward, her eyes widening. "You see something? A system interface?"
"Uh, yeah, but—"
[PRIMARY FUNCTION: RESTORE THE BLOODLINES OF ASTORIA]
[SECONDARY FUNCTION: REPOPULATE THE KINGDOM]
[UNIQUE TRAIT DETECTED: HOST IS THE ONLY FERTILE MALE IN ASTORIA]
[CURRENT QUEST: BREED THE NOBLEWOMEN. GOOD LUCK, HERO!]
Kai's face went bright red as he read the words. Then reread them. Then read them a third time just to make sure he wasn't having a stroke.
"Well?" Silvael asked, hope creeping back into her voice. "What does your system say? What is your heroic power?"
Kai looked at her—at her perfect face, her flowing silver hair, her impossible curves barely contained by shimmering silk—and felt his brain short-circuit.
"I, uh..." he stammered. "I think there's been a misunderstanding."