Take one.
This scene called for tears and emotional tension.
Shen Qingxi stood in the front of the practice room, her shoulders trembling, breath shallow.
Around her were twelve other students sat in a loose semicircle, watching, waiting.
breath in... focus.
She closed her eyes. Found the emotions buried deep in her heart.
That hollow ache of being unseen, misunderstood, and not given a chance.
The exhaustion of smiling when everything inside was screaming.
It wasn't that hard to find. Afterall it lived in her chest for a long time like a permanent resident.
When she opened her eyes, they were wet.
"I... I never asked for much," she whispered, her voice cracking exactly at the right places.
"I just wanted someone to notice... to care even for a bit. Just once. That I mattered too... That I'm also human and my emotions mattered too!"
The room was pin drop silent.
Her hands shook, but it wasn't really from the acting. It felt like she was truly living that moment and feeling the same pain of the character she was performing.
She channeled it, and let it pour out through her words, her expression and the slight quiver of her lips.
"But you never looked. None of you ever-"
Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.
The vibration cut through the air like a slap back into reality. Everyone turned to look in the direction it was coming from.
Qingxi froze.
No. No, no, no.
Not now~
Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt.
Her phone was in her bag. By the wall. The familiar ringtone she'd assigned to one contact only.
Mom.
"Sorry!"
She broke character immediately, the tears still wet on her cheeks as she scrambled toward her bag.
"I'm so sorry, I- I thought I silenced it-"
The instructor, a thin woman in her fifties named Teacher Luo, sighed but waved her hand. "Go ahead, take it outside. Quickly."
Qingxi grabbed her bag with trembling fingers, bowing apologetically as she rushed toward the door to the restroom.
From the corner of her eye, she caught movement.
Zhou Jing and Liu Siyu >>Xu Wanying's minions<< leaning towards each other. Whispering with malice on their faces looking in her direction.
She looked away.
She went to the hallway in the way to the restroom. It was empty. She pressed her back against the wall, ran her hand through her hair and answered the call.
"Xixi."
Her mother's voice was warm but carried that familiar undertone. Expectation wrapped in affection. "You didn't call back yesterday." She said.
"I know, Mom. I'm sorry. The shift ran late and I-"
"You're working too hard these days. Are you eating properly? You sound tired, are you getting enough sleep?"
I am tired. I'm so tired.
"Yes, I'm fine."
The lie came so easily like it always did.
"Good, good. So, we're still seeing you tomorrow, right? Remember your father wants to discuss your residency preparation. He spoke to Dr. Huang about securing you a spot for when you graduate-"
Qingxi stopped listening. Zoning out.
Not on purpose. Her brain just... drifted. Like it always did when they talked about The Plan. The future they'd built for her brick by brick since she was 12 years old.
Medical school. Residency. Specialist certification. Stable job. Good marriage. Respectable life.
A life where she never stood under stage lights.
A life where she never made anyone feel different types of emotions through her voice.
A life where Shen Qingxi the actress never existed.
"-are you listening?" Her mother's voice cut through again, bringing her back to the present.
"Yes, Mom." She wasn't. "Actually, I have to go. I'm still at the hospital. I Had to step out for a moment during observation rounds."
"Oh! Okay . Then go, go. Rest well tonight. We'll see you tomorrow for dinner and don't be late, okay?"
"Alright, I won't. Bye, Mom."
She ended the call.
sigh...
She stared at her phone screen. The wallpaper was a photo of the moon she'd taken from the her apartment's rooftop.
The few stars accompanied it
It seemed so beautiful and lonely at the same time.
She took a breath. Then another.
Go back in and finish the scene. You don't have time for this.
She turned to re-enter the practice room when her heart almost jumped out of her ribcage.
She stopped.
Xu Wanying stood three feet away. It seemed she was in the female's restroom before Qinxi entered.
Leaning her back against the wall with her arms crossed.
That smile on her lips. The one that looked friendly if you didn't know better. The one that preceded every cruelty she'd ever inflicted, was plastered on her face.
"Busy at the hospital, huh?" Wanying tilted her head. "Funny. I could've sworn I heard you say 'Mom.'"
Qingxi's heart dropped to her stomach.
"I-"
"Oh relax." Wanying pushed off the wall, stepping closer. "I'm not going to tell anyone. We're classmates, right? Friends, aren't we?"
Scoffs
Friends? We've never been friends.
But Qingxi couldn't say that. The words lodged in her throat like always.
"I just think it's quite interesting, y'know" Wanying continued, examining her nails. "Little miss 'Medical Student', sneaking off to acting classes. Lying to Mommy and Daddy."
She looked up, eyes sharp.
"What would happen if they found out, I wonder?"
Qingxi's hands clenched around her phone.
Say something. Defend yourself. Tell her to mind her own business.
But her mouth wouldn't cooperate.
Twenty years of swallowing her words. Twenty years of keeping the peace. Twenty years of don't make trouble, Xixi, just endure it.
"Nothing to say?" Wanying laughed softly.
"It's-"
"Of course not. You never do." Wanying cut her off as her expression switched.
She walked past Qingxi, shoulder brushing hers just as hard enough to be deliberate.
"See you in class, Qingxi. Oh, and..."
She paused at the door. "You really were good in that scene. For a moment, I almost believed you were the character"
The door swung shut.
Qingxi stood alone in the hallway.
Her hands were shaking.
Her eyes were burning.
But she didn't cry.
Save it for the stage, she told herself.
That's the only place you would anyone to see it. That's how you get strong.
She straightened her shoulders. Fixed her expression into something neutral and then walked back into the room.
Zhou Jing and Liu Siyu were still looking in her direction.
Teacher Luo was already moving on to the next scene with another student.
Shen Qingxi returned to her position waiting for her turn again.
In her pocket, her phone buzzed once more.
It was a text from her mother.
'Don't forget to bring the documents tomorrow. And wear something nice. Dr. Huang's nephew will be joining us for dinner.'
She read it twice.
Then turned her phone off completely.
One performance at a time.
sighs...
God, she was so tired.