Gojo Satoru.
The truth was, Rémy knew this eerie guy was considered the strongest, but the exact extent of that strength, and what it actually meant in practice, remained a complete mystery to him. His only real frame of reference came from the endless praise his friends heaped on the character whenever he appeared on screen or did something even remotely interesting. And then, of course, there was that infamous image where he ended up sliced in half.
Consequently, on Rémy's personal danger scale, the man ranked, at best, as a harmless "duckling yellow" that could instantly shift to an "angry bull red" when least expected.
Still, it was incredibly frustrating not to have the faintest clue about the true limits or personality of the person he was spying on.
«¡Damn, he's gorgeous!» Rémy put a finger to his mouth and bit his nail so hard a thin trickle of blood threatened to well up.
Not even the blindfold over his eyes could hide his defined chin. That bone structure so impeccably sculpted it looked like the handiwork of an angel who... Rémy slapped his own cheek.
«¡Focus!», he scolded himself.
For his part, Gojo could barely suppress a laugh.
¿What on earth was that? He'd go so far as to say it was actually cute. With an amused smile still playing on his lips, Gojo let his gaze wander across the various corridors, ceilings, and ventilation ducts of the Tokyo complex, a facility that, until this very moment, the entire sorcery elite had considered absolutely and religiously impenetrable. With a simple, lazy sweep of his eyes, taking less than a second, he counted around five thousand two hundred and thirty exact copies of that tiny little fellow skittering freely into every nook and cranny.
Given such a peculiar design for a mere surveillance device, Gojo was inclined to grant them the rare benefit of the doubt. For a fleeting moment, he wondered if, by some miracle, the higher-ups had finally pulled their heads out of someone's ass and hired a genuinely talented expert to install a new security network for the facility. It was a hyper-complex and, from his perspective, entirely unnecessary system, for sure. But an admirable effort nonetheless.
However, he dismissed the possibility almost immediately.
Those decrepit elders didn't just dread modernity; they were clinically allergic to technological innovation. And, as a rule, to anything resembling a good idea.
That only made him more curious. ¿Who had built something like this?, ¿Why specifically choose a fly design? And, most importantly, ¿Would the creator be kind enough to gift him a few?
His interest grew by the second as he tried to picture the kind of lunatic who had the sheer balls to stick his nose right there, of all the places in the world.
The tiny machine finally moved. It rubbed its minuscule front limbs together and mimicked the erratic flight pattern and nervous twitches of a real fly with such precise naturalism that it was the final straw. Gojo couldn't hold back a second longer and burst into frenzied laughter, the sound echoing down the hallway. He leaned forward slightly, pointing his index finger at the harmless device.
He was amazed. The sheer level of absurdity and effort that intruder had poured into this little stunt was, in a strange way, adorable.
—Hey, Mr. Stalker. If you're so interested in spying on us, ¿why don't you come in person? I wouldn't mind giving you a guided tour of the facilities
The micro-spy stopped and focused its microscopic lenses directly on the shaman's face. On the other end of the screen, Rémy's thumb was already bleeding profusely where he had bitten down on it.
—¡Scary! —he said, before ordering the unit to move.
Gojo sighed.
—I guess that's a no... ¡What a shame!
With a simple, lazy flick of his index finger, the space around the tiny robotic fly seemed to twist. The Lince unit was crushed by an invisible force, reduced to metallic dust in a fraction of a second.
The screens in Rémy's field of vision dissolved into static, followed almost instantly by a cascade of error notifications that flooded his mind.
[UNIT N-1042 DESTROYED]
[UNIT N-0891 DESTROYED]
[UNIT N-3310 DESTROYED]
[UNIT N-5200 DESTROYED]
The white-haired shaman wasn't even moving from his spot. With his hands back in his pockets and that same irritating smile on his face, Gojo began to annihilate the entire surveillance network. Tiny, imperceptible pulses of cursed energy blew apart the drones, perched on ceilings and tucked under desks, as the video feeds on Rémy's panel began to wink out in bursts of fifty per second.
—¡No, no, no, no! ¡My babies! — Rémy screamed, spitting out his own blood. —¡Stampede protocol! ¡Immediate evacuation! ¡Get out of there, damn it!
¡Those things had been an absolute nightmare to manufacture! Each Lince unit required nanometer-precision circuitry and hours of meticulous craftsmanship. And just like that, they were being disintegrated as casually as popping bubble wrap out of sheer boredom. The robotic flies still surviving within the Tokyo complex abandoned all pretense of stealth and shot outward in a mass exodus, buzzing desperately toward air vents, ajar windows, and cracks in the masonry, fleeing for their tiny artificial lives before the monster could reduce them to scrap metal.
But in the end, not a single one survived. Each of the robotic flies attempting to flee was ruthlessly crushed by the void before it could even graze the exit. Satisfied with his little extermination session, Gojo let out a soft sigh, feigned adjusting his collar while stretching his muscles, and lazily turned around.
He decided it would be best to pay Principal Yaga a visit. As much as he loved pranks and spontaneous chaos, someone had just infiltrated the very heart of the sorcery world with thousands of undetectable cameras.
¿Who knew how much they had heard, seen, or leaked, and to whom?
And that, much to his chagrin, was not something he could simply laugh off before heading out to buy dessert and carrying on as if nothing had happened.
Back to the "wonder trio"
Motionless atop a rock facing the bound Eric, Rémy sat in silent contemplation. Humiliation, a poison all too familiar, weighed heavily on his exhausted heart.
The sensation itself was unlike anything he was used to, yet enduring that torment yielded no reward, nothing to justify the pain that seemed to mock him. Hours of meticulous work and hundreds of credits earned by the sweat of his brow had been scorned and discarded in an instant. But it would be unfair to blame them. Ultimately, it was his own fault for snooping where he shouldn't have.
—Sounds like you had it coming, ¡ha! — Eric jeered, still held fast by the thick ropes binding him to the post.
Rémy gripped the wood and shook it.
—Eric, we are so fucked— he said, looking him in the eye. —Do you have any idea, do you have the faintest clue, what this means? ¡Lince is the size of a grain of sand, yet that madman could see them as if they were the size of your stupid pig-belly! ¡What am I supposed to do against that?
Rémy took a deep breath. There was no reason to worry; it was impossible for Gojo to trace Lince's origin back to him. Just to be safe, though, he glanced behind him several times to ensure no one was sneaking up on him. Now he was even more convinced of what had to be done. And to pull it off, he would need a bit of "good luck."
---------------------------------------------
I woke up feeling an extra weight that definitely hadn't been there before.
Mmmm...
I shifted my hips a few times, side to side, then back and forth, until I finally reached down below my waist.
¿Had I always had a penis?
That was the only question I asked myself before brushing it off. ¡Life goes on! ¿What does it matter if you change gender overnight?
Plenty of stories start with this premise, and most of the time, it doesn't turn into a big deal. What worried me was the situation outside my own body. I was wearing garments I didn't remember putting on over Misato's outfit, and the cozy living room had vanished, replaced by a strange, metal-clad chamber. It looked exactly like the laboratory of one of those mad scientists who are constantly unleashing unnatural monstrosities upon the world.
Ugh… I hope I didn't eat anything weird.
This is exactly how horror movies start. The protagonist gets drugged, wakes up tied up in some sleazy hostel, and gets dragged into a fight for survival.
I nodded to myself, confirming my own theory.
….
Wait a minute... that looks really bad for me.
I gripped the hook tightly, bracing myself to beat the living daylights out of the kidnapper who'd had the nerve to rob me of my fabulous freedom. Moments later, a trapdoor opened in the floor, and a screen rose up from it. The device lifted until it was at eye level and, with a brief flash, flickered to life.
—¡Greetings!
It was a girl… no, a boy with a creepy face. I was certain he had the deadest, most lifeless eyes I'd ever seen. Though, for some strange reason, they gave me a warm feeling. Warm in the way a cat judges you silently, of course.
—You're probably-
I hurled the hook straight at the screen, shattering it in a shower of sparks and broken glass. A second later, another monitor emerged from nowhere to take its place.
—You're probably asking yourself, ¿"Hey, how the hell did I end up here?"
Just seconds after destroying the first one, I froze as an idea took shape in my mind.
¡It was him, The bastard who'd kidnapped me apparently had a macabre "Saw-style fetish" complete with cringey, gruesome trials!
—¡You creep!
I shouted, shaking my fist at the monitor. The sicko in question completely ignored my outburst and continued his monologue. Using unrealistically detailed modeling-clay figurines, he launched into a series of explanations and summaries regarding my own life. As his explanation unfolded, my indignation began to fade, giving way to an emotion I couldn't quite identify at the time.
It turned out that I, a free spirit wandering the world unconcerned with mundane matters, was actually the alternate version of a compulsive gambler trying too hard to pretend otherwise. And that whole business…
¡It turned out to be!
Surprisingly inconsequential. I shrugged off the existential crisis. After all, I was still myself, and no spontaneous curse was going to change that. Now, I saw that little devil in a new light. We were two souls trapped in a single body, forced to share a common destiny in pursuit of our own happiness.
¿If we both sprang from the same source, didn't that make us siblings? Siblings... yes. I really like the sound of that.
I remembered the exact moment I first opened my eyes. I had felt so alone. It wasn't that I minded being a free spirit roaming the world on my own, but deep down, there was a splinter in my heart I couldn't pull out. Although I now know I had only truly "existed" for a few hours back then, from my perspective, I had already lived twenty years, most of them spent being ignored by my family, and stubbornly refusing to accept that fact.
That absolute vulnerability, knowing there was no one in the world to turn to for help when things got ugly. Meeting Shinji had eased that burden a little, of course. His presence had lit a warm glow in the darkness, offering some comfort.
But knowing that this disaster of a person on the screen and I were bound by something so intimate... that eclipsed everything else.
¡Yes, we were siblings!
—Now —his voice continued. —if you could press the token in your pocket and...
Happiness bubbled up through my entire body, drowning out whatever else the monitor had to say. I shot forward. Looming ahead was the facility's exit, sealed by a monstrous solid-steel security door, so thick and heavy it looked like it would take heavy machinery to open it. I didn't stop to think about it for even a second. I planted my foot and unleashed a kick straight at the center of the structure. The impact sounded like a cannon blast, and the massive titanium bolts shattered into dust as the entire door flew off in a parabolic arc, crashing down several meters away.
Free of obstacles, I left the confines of a briefcase sitting on the ground, taking happy little hops and skipping about in a blooming meadow.
---------------------------------------------
From a nearby corner, Shinji and Cartman watched the scene with half-closed eyes. Their brains were so fried and their bodies so exhausted that they didn't even blink at the destruction of the vault.
Cartman stared at his cards, clicked his tongue, and looked up.
—¿Do you have a four? — he asked Shinji.
---------------------------------------------
The power Maui's hook gave my legs was incredible. I sprinted across the grass without feeling the slightest fatigue in my muscles. The landscape around me turned into a blur of color, and thanks to those superhuman strides, it took me mere minutes to leave the countryside behind and land right in the middle of Kyoto's bustling center.
A multitude of colors, people, and attractions welcomed me with open arms.
And talk about luck, my wallet was stuffed with those juicy green money, ¡I mean, it was absolutely packed!
I visited street food stalls, devouring dango skewers, steaming takoyaki, and anything fried they put in front of me. With a full stomach, I raided several clothing stores, mixing and matching jackets and accessories without a care for how odd the outfits looked or the price tags that terrified the customers who caught a glimpse of them. I, however, could afford it.
I zipped through ancient tourist shrines at lightning speed, photobombing people's pictures, and ended my afternoon screaming with laughter on the roller coasters and rides at a local fair, hitting them up multiple times before moving on to the next attraction. By the time the initial euphoria began to settle, I was strolling out of an ice cream shop. I held a giant three-flavor cone in one hand, while my favorite new purchase, a cozy green wool hat featuring a wide-eyed frog design, sat atop my head.
—¡The best day of our lives! ¿Right, brother?
—Mm-hmm, definitely — I said, mimicking the rough, ragged tone I'd heard in the video.
The video... I felt an icy bolt shoot through me from head to toe.
It had completely slipped my mind. He had mentioned something about carrying out a task, but what exactly that task was remained a mystery. I broke into a cold sweat, and my knees turned to jelly at the mere thought of the look of utter disappointment he would give me.
—This is bad, this is really bad...
Not even a single day had passed, and I was already about to make a terrible first impression. I brought up that strange interface with a few nervous taps and frantically navigated through the menus. I was looking for a tab indicating a mission, a test, or anything at all, some damn note to help me remember what I was supposed to do.
—¡Oh, it's hopeless! —I whimpered, collapsing to my knees as a torrent of tears streamed down my face. —¡This is the end for me waaaaah!
My loud wailing cut off abruptly when an icy shiver ran down my spine. I sprang to my feet, locking my gaze on a massive apartment building looming at the far end of a long alleyway. I instinctively furrowed my brow, and all my ridiculousness vanished.
---------------------------------------------
—IMMINENT DANGER—
Hostile entity detected.
Threat level exceeds Rank 1 limits.
[Emergency Mission Generated]
[Primary Directive: Eradication]
A flock of lambs and their shepherd have been cornered by the ruthless jaws of this world.
Objective: Fight or turn your back. The balance of the scales and the echo of their lives rest solely in your hands.
[ Estimated Rewards]
1x Entry Token.
1x Quad-Selection Ticket.
1x Interface Upgrade.
[ Penalty for Fleeing]
None.
The system does not judge the instinct for survival. Heroes die young; cowards have the privilege of reaching old age.
---------------------------------------------
The alert window was barely forming in the air when I had already shot forward. I didn't stop to look for a damn door. I acted like a projectile, ramming straight into the complex's concrete and reducing every wall, beam, and barrier that dared to slow me down to rubble. I was racing blindly toward the epicenter of the danger, straight toward the one spot my survival instincts were screaming at me to avoid.
In the center of a large hall, surrounded by shattered display cases and walls buried under thick layers of frost, stood that thing. It was a fusion of a giant polar bear and what looked like a humanoid yeti, covered in matted white fur from which heavy icicles dangled. A pair of extra arachnid-like limbs protruded from its torso, clicking impatiently against the floor. Its face was a mass of ursine fangs and multiple dark eyes glowing a pure, vivid red. The floor around it crackled, rapidly freezing in an expanding radius, while a glacial mist poured from its body, so dense it crystallized even the dust suspended in the air. Cornered before that abomination, a group of elementary school children and an elderly woman were stumbling backward in terror.
The beast was a second away from grabbing the smallest of them. Without pausing to think, I shot forward like a missile and slammed directly into the arm it intended to use to snuff out a life, cutting off its attack. I capitalized on the momentum of that first strike, the moment my shoes made contact with the wall, I sprang off it and rammed straight into the creature's stomach, driving it as far away from the children as possible. The abomination flew several meters, letting out a howl of fury as it splattered the ground with its viscous blood. Behind me, I heard the group's gasps of surprise.
---------------------------------------------
—MISSION ACCEPTED—
¡Let the show begin!
The graveyard is packed with heroes, while cowards sleep warm in their beds. Yet, that didn't stop you.
[ Scenario Modifier Applied ]
Background music: Activated.
Status effect: Your soul resonates with hope.
+1 Luck
---------------------------------------------
I wanted to scream at the teacher to run, to hide, or to get out of the building immediately, but the words died in my throat. One of the massive arachnid limbs slammed squarely into my side, sending me flying through the air.
Agonizing pain clouded my vision, it felt as though every rib bone was about to shatter into dust. As I crashed heavily to the ground, I saw the curse turn to try and snatch the children once more.
I bit my lip until it nearly bled, ignoring the pain, and hurled my hook with all my might. The moment the weapon sliced through the air, a thick rope materialized around my wrist, magically connecting me to the hook. The curved blade flew true, tangling firmly around the beast's grotesque body. I yanked hard, dragging the monster backward, straight toward me. The instant it was within reach, I wrapped both arms around it, my feet skidded against the freezing concrete as I halted our momentum through sheer brute force. Without hesitation, I bent my knees, leaped backward while arching my spine, and executed a suplex.
The impact was so massive that the floor beneath us exploded; the concrete gave way completely, and we both plummeted into the void, plunging toward the deepest, darkest depths of the facility.
From what I could hear, the children were scrambling to run away without looking back.
«Good», I thought.
The impact of our bodies hitting the pavement of an abandoned parking lot rang out like a thunderous echo. Perhaps this was why my brother had switched places with me. He had known this would happen, and, just like me, he refused to abandon those helpless little humans.
¡What a kind soul!
The curse sprang to its feet, letting out a furious shriek that made the air vibrate and froze the saliva on my lips. In a fit of blind rage, it began pounding the ground repeatedly with massive fists like a crazed gorilla, tearing open deep fissures that spewed a bluish mist. It unleashed one final, deafening roar, and the world around us shifted instantly as gusts of darkness engulfed us. The surface's residual heat vanished in a split second, devoured by a silent, ghostly blizzard that transformed the parking lot into a frozen, hellish wasteland. The concrete beneath us became coated in frost as sharp as razor blades; stagnant puddles crystallized into jagged stalagmites jutting from the ground; and the air grew so heavy and frigid that every breath burned my throat, making it feel as though I were inhaling shards of glass.
—Yes… you're right, dear brother. — I tighten my grip. —We can't let this thing run loose.
I swallowed my fear and focused on my hook. The description says "transform into any animal imaginable", ¡not just any animal that's scientifically possible!
I'm not the sort of person who has a plan for everything and stays eighty steps ahead of everyone else. I never was, I'm sure I never will be, and I'm even more certain I'll never need to be that kind of person.
¡The best approach was to go all out and strike as hard as possible until the enemy surrendered!
—¡Uclocloya, Uclocloya, uhhh Caribou! — I shouted at the top of my lungs.
The curse roared right along with me.
The hook flashed with a blinding blue light; with a sharp turn, I began stomping the ground vigorously while pounding my chest hard. The air rumbled like war drums as I dropped into a low stance, eyes locked on the beast, just like Maui did in the movie. The blue flash enveloped me completely. I felt my limbs grow and my body's structure shift in a metamorphosis that was as strange as it was painless, though it felt a bit awkward for the first few seconds.
I grew to such absurd proportions that the curse's charge came to an abrupt halt, it was forced to look up at me from below, a clear flash of astonishment on its hideous face. My vantage point rose several meters above the frozen ground as heavy, natural armor encased my back. My hands, once delicate and beautiful, were replaced by a pair of colossal purple pincers, so massive I felt I could snap a tank in two. A titanic, dazzling carapace, devoid of the thousands of metal pieces and jewels I'd seen in the movie, shielded me completely. Six enormous, armored legs supported me, crushing the ice beneath my… ¿claws? The ice around me shattered when my new crab legs, thick as steel pillars, landed with the full force of my weight.
—Oh, man. This feels so weird.
There was no time for complaints. The curse roared and resumed its charge. Hundreds of razor-sharp shards and thick pillars of ice erupted from the ground to hem me in, the plummeting temperature tried to freeze my joints, and moving this colossal body took twice the effort, but not even that freezing hellscape would be enough to stop me.
I tucked in my limbs and retreated inside my titanic shell. Blasts of ice pelted me mercilessly, hammering against the shell in a storm of impacts that managed to wound me. Thousands of painful stings forced me to remain motionless. Far from cowering, I used my own momentum to spin on my axis, gathering speed across the frost. I became a spinning cannonball, moving so fast that I shattered every obstacle in my path. I plowed through the frozen domain like a steamroller and slammed straight into the creature. I burst out at the moment of impact, striking it in the stomach with my claw.
The cursed thing doubled over, spewing viscous blood, and I swung my massive back toward it to crush it. Capitalizing on its confusion, I grabbed its thick, hairy neck with my pincers, hoisted it into the air like a ragdoll, and dragged its face across its own frost-covered ground. I delivered a brutal pinch to its chest that made its ribs crack, but the beast tried to counterattack, opening its jaws to freeze me at point-blank range. Without a second thought, I clamped my right claw around its snout, sealing its mouth shut completely. The blast of its icy breath detonated inside its own throat, freezing it from within, while my claw suffered the same fate. With the monster choking on its own magic, I lifted it high and, using my massive crab legs, leapt to execute a suplex that caused the last of the solid ground beneath us to collapse.
Exhaustion was beginning to take its toll. The cracks in my shell and the wounds on my back were bleeding slightly, stinging in the extreme temperature of that frozen hellscape. The curse was badly wounded and panting, but in a burst of fury, it condensed the air around itself to forge lethal ice gauntlets over its claws. Suddenly, the ground shook.
A massive pillar erupted beneath my feet, striking me with colossal force. The impact sent me flying through the air, and I landed heavily on my back. I couldn't get up. My useless crustacean legs flailed in the air; I was completely immobilized by my own bulk.
Seeing myself utterly vulnerable and unable to right myself, I tapped into the blue light and altered my form once more. I transformed into a massive polar bear, ready to strike back, but I completely underestimated its speed. The curse was already upon me, landing a punch to my ribs followed by an uppercut to my stomach, then another, and another, relentlessly. Its fists froze my blood instantly, forming a thick shell of ice over my body that stripped away my mobility second by second.
Terror paralyzed me. I wanted to throw in the towel, turn around, and run as far as my legs would carry me, but I couldn't. If I let this thing leave here alive, there would be an even greater massacre.
I seized the moment of chaos to shrink down instantly. I took the form of a tiny, cute mole and, in the blink of an eye, burrowed deep into the creature's thick white fur. Having lost its target, the curse ceased its assault and began searching for me, disrupting and shattering the surrounding frost pillars with a mere flicker or a wave of its claws.
As I clung to its back, I recalled my dear brother's words from the video. Following his advice to the letter, I attempted to trigger the summoning of Cartman so he would come to my aid.
---------------------------------------------
—ALERT—
Invalid operation
Only the item's original user has permission to summon the entity.
No cheating
---------------------------------------------
¡Waaaahhh!
While still clinging to the back of its neck, I pushed the lure's light to the limit and assumed the form of a colossal sperm whale. Gravity did the rest, my own weight crushed the curse against the ground with devastating force.
The monster shrieked and retaliated by summoning a swarm of thick frost pillars from beneath the earth. I didn't stay to take the hit, in the blink of an eye, I shifted again, transforming into a giant eagle and taking flight to dodge the deadly spikes at the very last millisecond. I didn't give it even half a second to breathe. I flew straight toward its face and, mid-air, morphed into a silverback gorilla, landing a devastating punch square on its jaw using the momentum of my descent.
The monster stumbled but tried to skewer me with its extra legs. I instantly shrank into the form of a swift arctic wolf, dodging the blade by mere centimeters, I bit its knee and used that leverage to leap again, transforming mid-air into a massive grizzly bear to finish it off with a double swipe.
When the curse tried to freeze my paws, I nimbly shifted into a black panther, pouncing onto its back to sink in my claws and teeth, chaining transformation after transformation in a frenzied dance where my body refused to stay still. I shifted into an armored rhinoceros and impaled its chest with my horn. The curse howled and lashed out with an icy claw, but I slipped between its talons, transforming into a huge anaconda, I quickly coiled around its arachnid arm and squeezed until I heard its joints crack, only to shift again, before the cold could harm my reptilian form, into a Bengal tiger, tearing a chunk of frost and flesh from its shoulder in a single motion.
But my luck ran out with a lethal swipe. The blow struck me square in the chest, so fast I couldn't even blink. I felt every rib shatter, or at least fracture, with a sickening crunch that clouded my senses. The agonizing pain was so blinding that, for a second, I forgot how to breathe, feeling my own blood turn to ice on my lips.
The impact catapulted me into the air. Helpless and at the mercy of gravity, I looked down. The curse was waiting for me. It opened its monstrous maw and began gathering a vortex of frost deep in its throat, pooling all its magic for a final blast that would freeze me to the very soul.
«¡No... No!» my own voice echoed in the void of my mind. I wasn't going to die like this and leave my brother alone, nor drag him into the grave with me. I would never let that happen. I focused every ounce of remaining energy, feeling the hook burn against my wrist with the fury of a dying star.
—I won't let you...
My blood boiled as my body contorted one last time.
Gigantic wings sliced through the freezing wind, a long neck lifted my line of sight, and my skin hardened into thick armor that radiated heat. I opened a terrifying new maw, and from the depths of my chest, a torrent of pure fire shot forth. My blast of flame descended and collided head-on with the curse's icy breath.
The last thing I glimpsed before the entire landscape was swallowed by darkness was a single image: that proud smile I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, would be etched upon my brother's face.
------------------------------------
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I don't think Maui can transform into a dragon, ¡but I don't care!
By the way, while I was writing the fight scene, I listened to the song " World's Greatest Battle Music Ever: FRIP (Human Design)" so I think you should try reading it while listening to that.
Object and Rank Classification.
A "quick" explanation for all readers. I hadn't planned on sharing this, as I felt it was just filler, but it's better to clarify the criteria I use when assigning ranks to the objects that appear in the fic.
(It also helps me maintain a certain level of consistency.)
Before writing a new chapter, specifically when I want to introduce new items or characters, the first thing I do is use three randomizers:
1: I set up a wheel with numbers from 1 to 10; the result determines whether there will be multiple objects or just one.
2: There are only two options: "Yes" or "No." The latter decides whether there will be upgrades or if I'll focus solely on summoning objects. The classification process for those is similar, but that's beside the point.
3: I threw a bunch of random crap in here. I often add or remove objects or characters to keep things varied.
RANKS:
The classics. Just because an object can easily destroy planets or universes doesn't guarantee it belongs in a high rank... It sounds stupid, but it makes sense. ¡I swear!
When choosing the objects that will appear in the story or a specific chapter, their classification is based on their ability to alter the environment, not on their destructive power. The SCP Foundation's self-replicating cake (SCP-871), for example, would be classified as an S-Rank object due to its potential to flood the planet and trigger a rather funny apocalypse, not simply because it is a cake.
Or, a more recent example: Maui's fishhook. I chose B-Rank because, aside from transforming the wielder into any animal they desire, the movie shows it is capable of lifting entire islands from the depths of the sea or even dragging the sun itself.
¿Does this make it a low-level reality warper that should therefore be S-Rank?
¡No!
I'm a bit of an idiot and not great at explaining myself, but I'll try to be as clear as possible about all this.
---------------------------------------------
EX – World-Breaker:
Relics, entities, or abilities that control fundamental concepts.
Example: Gluttony's ability from Re:Zero.
---------------------------------------------
S – Apocalyptic Alteration:
Elements whose mere existence or activation represents a drastic shift in the ecosystem, a planetary or continental-scale threat, or the release of dormant entities possessing overwhelming power. An object reaches S-Rank if its effect multiplies exponentially or if it uncontrollably shatters the world's power scale.
Example: Warhammer Orcs or someone who destroys countries with their farts.
---------------------------------------------
A – Global Alteration:
Similar to S-Rank but falling short of total destruction. Artifacts or abilities capable of affecting entire ecosystems, altering the planet's climate, rewriting global communication networks, or dominating nations. They possess vast reach but lack the element of total destruction, unavoidable extinction, or uncontrollable apocalypse.
Example: The Death Note in the right hands.
---------------------------------------------
B – Mythological or Massive Physical Impact:
Objects or curses of overwhelming physical power capable of mythological feats (moving landmasses, completely transforming terrain, or absorbing massive amounts of damage). They do not reach S-Rank because they do not alter the environment in an uncontrollable or apocalyptic manner. These tools depend on the user's skill, emotional control, or synchronization, and often come with drawbacks or flaws.
Examples: Black Panther's suit or the Eye of Thundera.
---------------------------------------------
C - Science Fiction or Discrete Anomaly:
Artifacts, gadgets, or natural elements that far surpass the technological, magical, or biological capabilities of the modern world, yet whose effects remain contained without causing large-scale physical disaster. They grant the user a massive advantage over humans or conventional technology, without destroying massive infrastructure or altering reality on a geographical scale.
Examples: Wonder Woman's Lasso, Mercury's Treads (League of Legends), Newt's Briefcase, or Ranma's curse (even if it seems nonsensical at first).
---------------------------------------------
D - Everyday Utility:
Objects, consumables, minor artifacts, or functional support biotechnology that address specific needs regarding communication, clothing, temporary abilities, or basic stealth. Unlike Rank E items, these function directly without relying on tantrums or annoying conditions, however, their scope is strictly limited to personal convenience, without generating direct offensive impact or destruction.
Examples: Language Pills (Doraemon), Den Den Mushi (One Piece), or Gravity Boots (Ratchet & Clank).
---------------------------------------------
E - Everyday Objects:
Mundane objects, ordinary merchandise, aesthetic accessories, souvenirs, or daily-use items from various universes. Unlike Rank F items, which are mostly scams or useless junk. and Rank D items, which provide functional solutions like language translation or communication, these objects completely lack magical, technological, or superhuman capabilities. They are simply common items, toy replicas, or everyday utensils
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F- Trash:
Objects, entities, or consumables with utility that is nonexistent, absurd, or openly detrimental to the user, subject to very few genuine exceptions depending on their world of origin and internal logic. They represent the lowest tier of the system, characterized by being tasteless jokes, scams, tools that self-sabotage their own function, or traps.
Example: Professor Frink's Sarcasm Detector or anything made by ACME.
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