Chapter 20
Do you know those blue, bean-like bugs that cling tightly to yellow walls on rainy days?
When you give them a light tap, they curl up into tiny balls that perfectly resemble BB pellets, which is why so many of us used to load them into our toy guns instead of actual ammo when we were kids.
Used as both ammunition and a substitute for marbles in games, this minuscule lifeform actually had a name.
It is the Pill Bug.
It is an incredibly intuitive name, practically on the level of the Dungeon Front Square.
I may be a Demon with Alzheimer's who cannot even remember the faces of my deceased parents, a rising star in the world of degenerates, and someone so unfilial I am practically devoid of filial piety altogether.
Even so, I have a single faded memory from my snot-nosed days when I couldn't even count to a hundred properly, a memory from when I was just an eight-year-old Kid that still remains fresh in my mind even after well over a decade...
That is the vague, salty memory of properly roasting that Pill Bug over a lighter's flame and taking a bite out of it.
I will just say it was born purely out of curiosity, not because my family was poor or because we lived on some wild mountain.
Surprisingly, the Pill Bug I slowly savored while squatting in the corner of a country road where the neighborhood dogs were barking tasted exactly like Grilled Squid!
And the texture was incredibly crispy, yet so wonderfully moist.
(There is a slight nostalgic bias here.)
I think I was thrilled at that young age, believing I had come up with a brilliant business idea to share with my Father...
Considering my memory gets a bit blurry after approaching my Father, who was enjoying a glass of Beer after work, with a couple of well-cooked Pill Bugs in hand...
I highly suspect that my Father smacked the back of my head that day and knocked me out cold.
Many of you are probably wondering why I am suddenly bringing up such an unappetizing story.
If you ask for the reason, it is only proper for a De?mon to answer.
Because right now, two massive, suspected Pill Bugs are lying flat on their backs on top of this dark wooden table!
Look here. This is not a designated sleeping room for arthropods, it is a sacred altar where free food appears. It is a table.
So. What I am saying is, please get rid of these Bugs.
"Looks delicious, nya!"
"?"
Shion, the omnivorous Cat, was drooling without an ounce of dignity at the sight of those seven pairs of L-shaped legs and their steaming white bellies.
As expected of someone born a Cat, it seems her vertically slit golden Pupils are equipped with a Filter that makes a Bug look like a Protein Bar.
This isn't easy.
"...What in the world is this?"
Judging by the sour expression on the Contractor Yuri, who would gladly chew a roasted Lizard down to the bone, this giant Grilled Pill Bug doesn't seem to be a common dish in this World either.
Echoing the Contractor's words, I was also incredibly curious about the identity of this bizarre food, so I quietly turned my head to the side.
From the twisted lips of Chroma, the cheeky Demon Clerk sporting a fishy smile, came something that I couldn't tell was an explanation or a provocation.
"Ha! It makes sense that a scrub Adventurer customer and an idiot Crow Oppa who hasn't even been in the Middle Realm for a day wouldn't know. Because this bug... no, this is a rare Ingredient found only in Dungeons~"
This Demon named Chroma had started calling me Oppa ever since that Tasting or whatever had ended.
Even though the other party was a Demon, to think that someone like me, who went through an all-boys middle school, an all-boys high school, the military, a male-dominated university, and finally a black company, would hear a girl call him Oppa. I was truly deeply moved.
But. Putting that aside.
'Didn't she just say bug?'
"Did you just say bug..."
Right?
If I was the only one who heard it, I could have just laughed it off as my imagination, but the Contractor clearly heard it too.
I had my suspicions. So this really was a Bug, huh? It must be rich in protein. Very much so.
"Huh? What? No I didn't? What on earth are you talking about, scrub Adventurer customer! There's no way our Tavern would serve bugs to a customer~ Right?"
Chroma quietly parried the Contractor's cold, distrustful glare with a defiant look.
In the midst of the clumsy yet fierce war of nerves between the two Kids.
"Stop bothering the customer, Chrom."
"Ouch♡ What are you doing, you stupid Owner♡"
Pressing down lightly on Chroma's red Head, she forcefully brought an end to the ancient war (staring contest) passed down since the dawn of human history.
The Owner of the
A sweet, honey-like scent wafted from the rustic Wooden Cups.
'To think they have honey water even in a fantasy World? How fascinating.'
"For your information, that's not exactly a Bug... it's closer to a crustacean. Something like a Shrimp or a Lobster. And this is an apology. Chrom gave you a hard time, didn't she? I'm sorry. I've put all of today's food expenses on Chrom's tab, so don't worry and eat to your heart's content."
Her expression was cold enough to put the Contractor to shame, but the words that mechanically spilled from her stiff lips were nothing but kind and warm.
'Somehow, she gives off a vibe that makes me want to call her Noonim.'
Besides, unlike other people, she doesn't show any signs of fearing me, which makes me feel incredibly at ease.
"Oh. Thank you!"
"Wow! The Owner really is the best, nya!"
"Thanks for caring, Owner."
"Hey, scrub customers? I'm the one paying in the end. Why aren't you thanking me? Huh? What is this, are you ignoring me right now?"
"Chrom, stop bothering the customers, go prep Onions, and reflect on your actions."
"Owner♡ You're so mean♡ Weren't the Onions supposed to be for the Rookies~"
"The children are already working hard in tears. Waiting only for the Onion slayer, Chrom, to arrive."
"These cute scrubs♡ What time is it and they still haven't finished? Looks like I need to discipline them a bit. Back in my day..."
Noir grabbed the collar of the grumbling Chroma and started dragging her toward the Kitchen.
Since this seemed to be a daily occurrence, none of the other customers paid them any mind.
I took my eyes off the Demon Senior being dragged away like a Mop and turned my gaze back to the table.
'So, this is a crustacean?'
No wonder there were thick fin-like things attached to its underside, it was an aquatic creature?
Thinking about it that way and looking at it again, I suppose it does look somewhat appetizing? (Placebo effect)
"L-Lobster, you say? The beef of the sea? I've only ever read about it in books..."
After hearing it was a dish akin to Lobster, our Contractor's pitch-black eyes sparkled brightly as she swallowed every five seconds.
Not knowing where to even begin, she repeatedly picked up and put down a long Awl that seemed to serve as a Fork, completely at a loss.
She looked exactly like a baby Cat who didn't know how to eat a Churu.
"Ahaha, Mr. Adventurer. What are you doing, nya."
Perhaps finding the Contractor cute, Shion let out a light laugh.
Then, she proudly pulled out a small Knife from her waist.
Do you have to carry your own Knife around here? The self-serve culture of my old hometown doesn't even come close.
"Ahem. This great one will show you how to eat it. Watch closely, nya!"
Saying so, Shion smoothly sliced open the belly Leather of the Grilled Pill Bug (temporary name) with her blade.
—Crack!
At that moment, a savory and sweet aroma burst forth along with the pure white meat that had been trapped inside the Chitin.
"Ooooh."
"The smell is absolutely amazing."
She cut the plump meat, which looked like a half-and-half mix of white fish and crab meat, into bite-sized pieces and gently dipped them into the rich innards near the tail.
—Plop!
Then, a splash into a mysterious red sauce with a tangy aroma.
Gulp.
Every time Shion's hands moved dazzlingly, the Contractor's barely visible Adam's apple bobbed up and down, and her moist lips parted little by little.
"Now you just have to place this on top of this flat bread and eat it, nya! But it's best to try it without the bread first, nya! Here, Mr. Adventurer. Say ahh, nya!"
"Ah, ahhh."
The Contractor swallowed her saliva once, then raised her head like a baby bird and opened her small mouth.
Her moist, sparkling eyes were filled with anticipation.
"Hoo. Hoo."
Shion carefully blew on the large, steaming piece of meat to cool it down.
"Open wide if you don't want your mouth torn, nya!"
Then, she shoved it right into the Contractor's mouth, Knife and all! Isn't that a bit too wild?
"Mmph!"
As the thick meat filled her mouth, the Contractor's cheeks instantly puffed up, and her eyes, which were always half-closed as if she were sleepy, shot wide open in surprise.
"Mmph-mmph!"
A feast of medieval dialect burst forth through those chubby cheeks.
If I had to guess the meaning, it would probably be something like, 'This is incredibly delicious! Lady Shion!'
"Ugh. I can't hold back anymore, nya! It's all free anyway. Today, I'm going to eat until I drop, nya!"
Seeing the Contractor munching away so deliciously with teary eyes must have whetted her appetite; Shion dampened her hands with water and began to eat with her bare hands in earnest.
The sight of her tearing open the belly with her front claws—no, sharp nails—and frantically scooping out the meat was incredibly feral.
Munch, munch.
Nom, nom.
The rhythmic repetition of her chewing vibrated the hollow Plague Doctor Mask.
The intermittent sound of laughter and the clatter of tableware.
Eating, drinking, and talking. The second night in this fantasy World deepened along with a subtle warmth.
'It's nice to see everyone eating so well.'
It was a bit of a shame that I couldn't eat it myself, but watching others enjoy their food wasn't so bad either.
'Is this what they call living vicariously?'
In the past, I never really understood what that phrase meant.
'But I think I get it a little now.'
Finding my own happiness in the happiness of others.
That must be what living vicariously is.
The feeling of contentment, an emotion I had forgotten for a very long time, gently spread through a corner of my heart.
I surrendered myself to that warm, tender sensation and quietly smiled.
"Not bad."
"Mmph?"
"What did the Crow just say, nya?"
"It's your imagination, Thief."
"I told you... I'm not a Thief!"
"Yum."
Etching this miraculous moment with my new companions into my stifling black Lens.
***
"Ugh... Lord Raven... where did you... go? You can't abandon me... Urgh."
"Meow. Meow... I'm not a Thief, meow..."
"...."
"Pfft. What an absolute bunch of scrubs♡"
"To be fair, this batch of Mead was particularly strong. Yeah. That's true."
Wait. It wasn't honey water, it was Mead? Owner...
"This is driving me crazy."
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