Dear Diary,
Today wasn't bad.
But it wasn't good either.
It was just… there.
I did everything I was supposed to do.
Talked normally.
Smiled at the right time.
Answered when someone called my name.
But the whole day felt like I was on autopilot.
Like my body was present,
but my mind was somewhere else.
I don't even know where "somewhere else" is.
Lately I've been feeling disconnected.
Not sad enough to cry.
Not happy enough to feel alive.
Just existing.
And that scares me more than sadness ever did.
At least when you're sad, you know something hurts.
But this?
This is just empty.
Sometimes I think I've become too good at hiding things.
Even from myself.
I keep telling everyone, "I'm fine."
And after saying it so many times…
it almost feels true.
Almost.
I miss when I used to feel things deeply.
Now everything feels low volume.
Like someone turned my emotions down to 30%.
Is this growing up?
Or am I just losing parts of myself quietly?
I don't want to disappear inside my own life.
I just want to feel real again.