"Wa... p... Za... lys... Wak... Wake up! Zalarys!"
Zalarys snapped his eyes open in shock, a chilling mist of terror clouding his mind as he lurched upright, coughing dark, slimy water that dripped from his lips, appearing wrong in so many ways that it was difficult to describe how utterly revolting the sight truly was.
"What the hell was that?" He spat, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and looked up, his eyes watering.
He couldn't remember what exactly happened. But he was sure of it, certain that whatever he saw or heard was so dreadful and appalling that he had never felt such fear in his entire life.
And yet, however terrifying it had been, alongside the terror he felt an inexplicable sorrow and despair, as if he had betrayed everything he believed in and everyone he loved and admired.
"Answer me, Maria... What was that?" He swallowed hard, lying on the sand and staring up at the blinding light.
Maria remained still, contemplating whether to explain or not. The more knowledge one had of the Reflectionless Abyss, the more power it held over you.
Nevertheless, it was useless to withhold information now. The trial had been passed.
"I cannot explain what you saw. Everyone who has gazed into the Abyss witnessed and heard something different. The more you learn of it, the more aware it becomes of your existence."
"That's a lie. Something like that isn't possible..." He groaned, his voice venomous and filled with spite as he tried to recall the harrowing voice of the Abyss. But he couldnt remember what it had said, and not knowing why he was so afraid when he had no recollection of it left him even more shaken.
His mental state was shrouded in a fog of confusion and horror. The instability of his own sense of self was ghastly. Knowing something was wrong but being unable to name it left nothing behind but a dreadful premonition of doom.
No... It was just a vision. Nothing but an illusion... impossible... What did that voice say... Endless... Endless what? What was endless? Aghhh... Bloody hell...
"We both know no lie left my lips. This lake is an abyss. It swallows light instead of reflecting it. That is why all you see is darkness. But it can see the reflection of your soul through your eyes. Your eyes reflect your ardent desires, your deepest fears, your regrets, your longing and your love, your sorrows and your despair, your past, your present and your future, and your inevitable end."
Maria sighed, adjusted her veil, and glanced at Shadow, who had woken up as well and was sitting upright with his head lowered, his face blank and empty.
"You are fortunate to have survived. To be honest, almost everyone who ventures into this lake is swallowed by the Abyss."
"Then why did you bring us here? What did you do to us!? No, why would you do this to us? Why?!" Zalarys stood up, his expression twisting with desperation and terror as he approached her.
He was as confused as he was angry. Why would she lead him to his death? What would she gain? What was the purpose of doing such a thing? He couldn't even remember it, but it left a mark on him, something that could never be washed away, as if his very sense of self had been altered in some bizarre way. And the strangest part was that he couldn't even grasp what changed, he only knew it instinctively.
"Answer me! Why!?" he demanded.
But the answer he received was a descending punch that slammed him into the sand, loosening his tooth as blood began to drip from his lips.
"Compose yourself. The effects of the Abyss will slowly fade… as for your question, it is a trial. No one may enter the temple without passing it. If your will is too weak to endure the ravings of the Abyss, you aren't worthy of becoming a Hunter. Why do you think each of us is deadly and powerful? Do you think we accept anyone? Don't be so naive. If you wish to become a Hunter, you must understand that you can become prey as well. You have to prove yourself or... Die." Maria's words were cruel and unforgiving, tolerating no weakness and finding it disgusting and pathetic.
The truth, however, was far more complicated. Everyone who dared to become a Hunter was young. It was taboo to invite adults into their ranks. Not because adults were incapable, far from it, but because they weren't pure enough to endure witnessing the abyss within their own hearts.
The lake forced anyone who entered it to witness their deepest fears. But fear alone was rarely enough to break a heart, so the Abyss went further. Knowing your desires, your love and your longing, it would take everything from you, turning you into a miserable and sorrowful wretch. And after that came regret, the regret of losing it all, the regret of not having done things differently, and that left you lost and hollow, like a lifeless puppet.
A grown man carried many regrets. He was wiser, more experienced, amd with far more to fear. That was why adults were forbidden from entering the temple. Even if they were worthy in every other way, they simply weren't capable of surviving what waited inside.
But a child was pure. He wouldn't yet be burdened by the fears of the future. There would be no rotting childhood dreams abandoned because life had been too merciless to turn them into reality. There would be no fear of seeing your children starving, no fear of burying your parents, no fear of finding food so you and the people you love can see the light of the next day.
No fear of life itself, which was harsh and wicked, which gave you everything only to take it all back.
A child just wasn't capable of fully comprehending those horrors without having lived them. And so the power of the Abyss couldn't destroy them so easily.
Yet if the will was weak and insignificant, they would be swallowed all the same. Purity alone wasn't enough. Some children had endured worse than many could even imagine. And yet even if that was the case, they wouldn't abandon hope for a better future and life.
That was the real reason. That was the point of it all. A true antithesis of the Abyss.
Hope.
That was the only thing the Abyss couldn't destroy. And a child, even at the bottom of the deepest pit of hell, could still hope for the light.
Maria glanced at Shadow, who had survived the Abyss and was now sitting in silence. She knew his life. She knew he had never been shown warmth. But regardless of what he experienced, Shadow still managed to endure the loathsome claws of the Abyss.
Because of one sunflower, still daring to face the chilling winter so that one day it might turn its face toward the warmth of the light.
Because night is dark and full of terrors...
However, a Hunter is one who stands in this darkness, tall and brave, daring to face them all with resolve as hard as steel, and a heart burning with hope as hot as the sun.
Those so-called weak sacks of flesh, mortal and feeble, stand against fleshless, unkillable beasts that laugh at them since the dawn of creation.
Those so-called mortals have no darkness, no immortality, and no frost. They only have faith and the gift of the goddess. A power bestowed upon them for their love and courage, proving that they're not simply flesh and blood, but the children of the goddess, armed with a power that will inevitably destroy them.
Yet knowing it all, they would still fight and fight and fight until all that remains is their ash, which will return to the serene embrace of Mother Death.
Knowing this, a deep sense of sorrow rose from Maria's hardened heart. Staring at the children with their faces blank and their bodies motionless like the dead, she knew that they had survived, yes, but the Mark of the Abyss would never disappear.
And that was the sin that she would carry for the rest of her life, like her mentor did. No child should witness something so harrowing, but it was an absolute necessity that couldn't be avoided.
A Hunter must know the world, know himself, know life, and know death.
This was the path of no return, a path leading to death and insanity, and the one who took this step was willingly shouldering this curse of damnation.
Meanwhile Zalarys calmed himself, his ragged breath stabilising, his body relaxing as Murghagon descended from the sky, his sickly green eyes scanning the area in wariness, growling aggressively at the dark waters as he curled around Zalarys, his wings rising protectively.
"Issa sȳrī, taoba..." [I'm fine, my boy...]
He sighed, inhaling and exhaling again, telling himself to remain composed. Normally he would have been too emotional, too angry and too aggressive.
But for some reason he felt a peace and serenity he had never known before. As if the dark waters had washed something away, something deemed unnecessary. He couldn't name what it was, only capable of telling that it was gone.
The fear and anxiety were still there. But now he could kill them more easily. Where before he needed to repeatedly tell himself, even lie to himself, he could now remain cold even knowing there was no comfort to be found.
It wasn't like he became emotionless. It's just when he focused, he could enter in a strange, still state where all distraction disappeared, like a predator thinking only of the prey.
Cracking his sore neck, he wiped blood from his lips and looked down with bitterness. Maria had warned him that the truth would be dreadful and the path wouldn't be easy. But he was arrogant, certain that with Murghagon beside him nothing could stand against him.
However, there were things in this world far scarier than dragons. Deadlier and more horrifying. It was the unknowable threat that terrified you most, not something you faced every day. And that mystery was as chilling as it was thrilling.
After all, Glory could only be found in the unknown.
Lest you lose yourself in it... Huh?
Biting his lower lip, Zalarys walked out of Murghagon's protective embrace and lowered his head, acknowledging that not only he was wrong, but he wasn't as wise as her, and inferior in almost every way too.
"I apologise... for everything." He spoke, his voice cool and serene, surprising Maria who raised an eyebrow at that with crossed arms.
This was the most humbling experience of his life. And as ironic as it was, from the moment he left home, that was all he seemed to experience.
But here and now, he truly had to leave everything behind. Forget his status and dedicate himself entirely to his goal.
Is my blood really what determines who I am? My family is proud to carry the blood of the dragon, and so am I, in a way. But it feels not just ridiculous but also pathetic. Why are we proud of things we haven't accomplished? Why do we take credit for what our ancestors did, as if sharing their blood makes us great by extension?
Am I no one without my blood? If that's the case, then I'm willing to leave it all behind in pursuit of my goal.
Looking up into Maria's blood-red eyes, his mismatched gaze hardened with determination, his fists clenching tightly.
At that moment, Maria could see resolve, love and longing in his eyes. A desire to stand amongst the greats, to reach heights no one had reached before and carve his own name into the annals of history.
"I too... I wish to become great, and glorious to be my name!"
*****
[A/N: Yeah, I know he's a lil pathetic rn, but he will get better. Tbh, I had a hard time when it came to describing how special a child could be and how they act through Zalarys and Shadow, like spooderman...
Shadow is a silent kid, you can't hear complaints from him and he is well-behaved, while Zalarys is more demanding. Having everything he wanted at home, he involuntarily expected the same in Essos too. He knows that's not how shi works here ngl, but old habits die hard.
So in a way, I wanted to describe a spoiled lil shi who thinks he will get everything. He wanted a mentor in King's Landing? Bruh got one. He wanted to become a rider? Yep, he became one. He wanted to join the hunt? Brat did it. He wanted to travel and leave home? Both Corlys and Nick agreed and helped him.
But in Essos, things changed. Saera tried to off him, and Maria couldn't give a shi about who he was. Shadow's pitiful life showed him how entitled and arrogant dick he was. And now Maria's words also give him clarity about who he was and who he's meant to be.
So even if Zalarys is intelligent and Shadow is powerful, they're still children.
Anyway, I hope I didn't screw it up.
Other than that, sorry gng. I was cleaning graves with my friends, so we got drunk. The hangover is killing me, so I can't even tell if the chapie is good or meh. For some reason, it feels hella awkward to read for me...
Well, that's that, I guess. I'm glad you're all enjoying it and thanks for your support ;]