It was a boring day like any usual day. I had nothing to do — literally nothing — even though my mains were three days in the future. And as any normal Asian, my future was bonded to that paper.
"If I fail, my dad would wreck my bum like ass so hard that I may feel pain like piles patients. It's so terrifying."
You see, that's what I was talking about. I had my whole life to think such stuff, but a motherfucker like me cannot study for at least an hour.
"I thought for a total of 2 minutes about myself and then I decided — decided something very wise — applied all the formulas and all the theories known to mankind after masturbating."
YES, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.
I MASTURBATED THREE TIMES IN A SINGLE STROKE.
If I elaborate, I masturbated to my male friend — let's name him NARU here because of privacy reasons. Now before you think I'm gay, let me clarify that my homie is a legit woman who got dominated by male testosterone. That bastard is someone — like he is someone. Can you imagine a guy who kidnaps kids for a living? Can you imagine a guy who rejected his school crush just for a packet of Gold Advance (a cigar) and Parle-G? If I remember correctly, he was 6 or 7 at that time.
You know what's more funny? He had a girlfriend lately. She is currently in kindergarten as a "school nurse." And only I know why he is dating her — because that way he can enter kindergarten and kidnap some kids. He is also a pedophile, so no worries. He is happy in his life.
Just like that, I wrote a whole summary of my homie but I could not study. Damn. "DAMN." I guess I will go and study — "Sahib was the rich person and the writer is beggar." Damn, it's so easy.
{AGAIN THINKING}
I still remember those moments from my 8th grade. Those were some fine days — no excessive pressure, just chill. And how can I forget that time when I had my first crush? We used to sit together near the window and except studying we did everything. And as I remember those moments, all my bad memories come back too. How shameful of me being rejected by the same girl three times. That was some bitter truth. But now everything is fine. I got my phone, my homie. Life is not that bad anymore.
"AND AGAIN JUST LIKE THAT I LET MY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WIN."