Main kabhi itna emotional nahi tha. Log kehte the main strong hoon. Shayad isliye kyunki maine kabhi kisi ko apne itne kareeb aane hi nahi diya tha. Phir woh meri zindagi mein aayi… aur maine pehli baar kisi ko apna 'ghar' samjha. Mujhe nahi pata tha ki jise main apni kahani ka hamesha wala hissa samajh raha hoon, woh sirf ek chapter nikleg.
Barish ka mausam hamesha se usse pasand tha. Kehte hain barish purani yaadon ko zinda kar deti hai, aur uski zindagi mein kuch yaadein aisi thi jo kabhi sach mein mari hi nahi thi.
Wo dono ek hi sheher mein rehte the, lekin kabhi milne ka khayal bhi nahi aaya tha. Zindagi apni raftaar se chal rahi thi, jab tak ek din social media par ek choti si "hi" ne sab kuch badal nahi diya. Pehle formal baatein hui, phir hasi-mazaak, phir dheere-dheere dil ki baatein.
Unki baaton mein ek ajeeb si sukoon tha. Jaise dono ek dusre ko pehle se jaante ho. Har raat lambi chats hoti, sapno ki baatein hoti, future ke plans bante. Wo kehti thi, "Agar kabhi main kho jaun, to mujhe dhoond lena." Aur wo hamesha jawab deta, "Tumhe khona meri kismat mein likha hi nahi."
Shayad kismat chupke se muskura rahi thi.
Dosti kab mohabbat mein badal gayi, unhe khud nahi pata chala. Pehli baar jab wo mile, to dono ki dhadkanein tez thi. Samne baith kar bhi dono ko yakeen nahi ho raha tha ki screen ke peeche jo ehsaas tha, wo aaj saamne zinda khada hai. Us din unhone bas chai pi, thodi si awkward hasi share ki, aur bahut saare khamosh lamhe jeeye.
Waqt ke saath sab kuch gehra hota gaya. Mohabbat sirf lafzon tak nahi rahi, zimmedari ban gayi. Ek dusre ki fikr, ek dusre ka khayal, ek dusre ke bina din adhoora lagna. Wo uski har choti khushi ka sabab banna chahta tha, aur wo uske har dard ka marham.
Lekin zindagi sirf mohabbat se nahi chalti.
Ghar walon ki umeedein, career ka pressure, aur society ke rules… ye sab dheere-dheere unke beech aane lage. Wo strong rehne ki koshish karte, ek dusre ko tasalli dete, lekin andar hi andar dono thak rahe the.
Ek raat bahut badi ladai hui. Wajah choti si thi, lekin shayad jama hua dard zyada tha. Wo chillaya nahi, bas chup ho gaya. Aur uski khamoshi usse tod gayi. Usne kaha, "Tum badal gaye ho."
Usne sirf itna kaha, "Main bas thak gaya hoon."
Us raat ke baad baatein kam ho gayi. Good morning ke messages sirf formality ban gaye. Calls ki jagah "busy hoon" ne le li. Jo log kabhi ek dusre ke bina so nahi pate the, ab bina baat kiye so jaate the.
Ek din usne kaha, "Shayad hume thoda space chahiye."
Wo samajh gaya tha ki "space" ka matlab kya hota hai.
Unhone officially break-up ka lafz kabhi use nahi kiya. Bas dheere-dheere sab khatam ho gaya. Jaise koi diya hawa se nahi, balki waqt se bujh jaye.
Wo roz uski profile check karta, uski last seen dekhta, uski photos par ruk kar sochta ki kya wo khush hai? Wo bhi shayad aisa hi karti hogi, lekin ego aur takleef ke beech koi pehla kadam nahi uthaya gaya.
Mahine beet gaye. Sheher wahi tha, raaste wahi the, lekin saath chalne wala koi nahi tha. Wo library, wo chai ki tapri, wo park ka bench… sab gawah the ek adhuri kahani ke.
Ek din barish ho rahi thi. Wo bina chhatri ke chal raha tha, jaise apne aap ko saza de raha ho. Tabhi samne se wo aati dikhi. Dono ek hi chhatri ke neeche kabhi khade hote the, aaj dono alag-alag bheeg rahe the.
Aankhon mein hazaar baatein thi, lekin zubaan khamosh thi.
Wo ruk kar bas itna keh paya, "Kaise ho?"
Usne halki si muskurahat ke saath kaha, "Theek hoon."
Dono jhoot bol rahe the.
Kuch pal ke liye laga shayad sab wapas aa sakta hai. Lekin phir usne apne haath ki ungliyon mein pehni ek nayi anguthi ko dekha. Wo samajh gaya. Zindagi ne usse aage badhne par majboor kar diya tha.
Usne muskurakar kaha, "Khush rehna."
Aur wo chal diya.
Us din usne pehli baar mehsoos kiya ki mohabbat sirf paane ka naam nahi hoti. Kabhi-kabhi chhod dena bhi mohabbat hota hai.
Raat ko usne purani chats kholi. Har "I miss you", har "tum bina sab adhoora hai" padh kar dil bhar aaya. Lekin usne sab delete nahi kiya. Kuch yaadein delete karne ke liye nahi hoti, bas sambhal kar rakhne ke liye hoti hain.
Waqt ke saath usne jeena seekh liya. Career banaya, naye log mile, naye sapne dekhe. Lekin dil ke kisi kone mein ek jagah hamesha khali rahi. Wo jagah shikayat se nahi, shukr se bhari thi.
Shukr is baat ka ki usne kabhi sachha pyaar mehsoos kiya.
Shukr is baat ka ki kisi ne kabhi usse itni shiddat se chaha.
Saalon baad jab wo phir se us library ke paas se guzra, to ruk gaya. Andar jaakar usne wahi purani kitab uthayi. Us kitab ke beech ek purana movie ticket gira. Shayad wo dono ka last movie plan tha jo kabhi complete nahi hua.
Usne ticket ko haath mein liya, aankhen band ki, aur halki si muskurahat ke saath use wapas kitab mein rakh diya.
Kuch kahaniyan poori nahi hoti, lekin bekaar bhi nahi hoti. Wo humein sikhati hain ki dil tootne ke baad bhi dhadakna nahi chhodta.
Mohabbat adhuri thi, lekin jhooti nahi.
Wo aaj bhi barish mein bheegta hai, lekin ab aansu chhupane ke liye nahi… balki us ehsaas ko mehsoos karne ke liye jo kabhi uski zindagi ka sabse khoobsurat hissa tha.
Aur shayad kahin na kahin, wo bhi kabhi barish mein khadi usse yaad karti hogi.
Kyunki kuch rishton ka naam nahi hota…
Aur kuch mohabbatein kabhi mukammal nahi hoti. 💔