"That's some pretty emotional talk," Li Wei blinked. "When are you going to find yourself a girlfriend?"
Don Quixote, driving with a cigarette dangling from his lips, flipped him the bird. "Fuck that. This world is full of bad women. I'm not about to make the same mistake twice."
"You'd think a guy like you wouldn't have trouble finding a woman," Li Wei said, looking Don Quixote up and down. "Did your ex-wife really hurt you that badly?"
Don Quixote tossed his cigarette butt out the window and said indignantly, "Why would I want a woman? All they want is your money. Fuck."
"Kid, you've never been screwed over by these broads," he griped to Li Wei. "You're young, you're on top of the world, and you meet some pretty blonde. Then you start dating."
Li Wei smiled. "Uh-huh," he prompted. "And then?"
"And then?" Don Quixote let out a dry laugh. "Then the nightmare begins."
"First, they start searching online, asking around indirectly," Don Quixote said, lighting another cigarette. "They do whatever it takes to find out exactly how much you make and how much you have in savings."
"Then comes the slow bleed," he said, giving Li Wei a grimly playful look. "It starts at thirty percent of your monthly take-home pay. All the holidays, the gifts, the 'relationship maintenance'… they'll hit that number precisely. They won't ask for more, and they won't take less. In the beginning, if you try to spend more, they'll even tell you not to."
"But I'm guessing thirty percent is just the start?" Li Wei said. "You sound like you have a lot of resentment."
"Of course! You think thirty percent is enough to satisfy those greedy vampires? Ha! Don't be so naive!"
Don Quixote's face, usually pale from his anemia, began to flush. "For the first two or three months, you're spending thirty percent. That's fine. Then, once the relationship gets a little more serious, she'll push it to fifty percent of your income. Feeling the pinch yet?
That's just the start. After that, it'll be seventy percent. If you're already losing thirty percent of your income to taxes, then you're left with nothing. Not one cent. They do this until every last drop of your potential is squeezed dry! Then they'll just up and dump you and go find their next meal ticket."
"Sounds like you were really hurt by a woman," Li Wei said with a smile. "You wouldn't be this bitter otherwise."
"That's life, kid. It's been ages since my divorce, and I still have to pay her 2,000 USD a month," Don Quixote said, shaking his head and rolling down the window for some air. "These are all lessons learned in blood. Don't spend money on women, and don't catch feelings for them."
As the window rolled down, the smell of weed and garbage drifted in. Li Wei didn't even have to look outside to know they were back near Eighth Avenue.
That evening, after a quick bite to eat, Don Quixote sat bolt upright and demanded Li Wei get out his textbooks, preparing to tutor him.
「Half an hour later.」
"Did you really memorize this entire book?" Don Quixote asked in disbelief. "Let me test you. Macroeconomics, page 267. The crowding-out effect caused by government deficit financing and its impact on private investment?"
Li Wei didn't even pause. While packing his backpack for the next day, he recited casually without turning his head, "When the government adopts an expansionary fiscal policy and covers its deficit through borrowing, it pushes up market interest rates. This, in turn, leads to a reduction in interest-rate-sensitive private investment and consumption. In the diagram on page 267, the IS curve shifts to the right, causing interest rates to rise and thus suppressing what would have been the growth in aggregate demand…"
He didn't just recite the text; he also verbally summarized the analysis of the diagram on the following page.
With his Spiritual Power having risen to 1.5, Li Wei's neural reaction time and processing speed were already far beyond those of a normal person, developing at a frantic pace in a direction even he couldn't comprehend. His memory was the most direct beneficiary; if he wanted to, he could memorize anything he desired in an incredibly short amount of time.
Li Wei had spent three days memorizing this several-hundred-page AP Macroeconomics textbook, word for word.
Don Quixote's mouth hung open, and he didn't even notice when the ash from his cigarette fell onto his pants.
"Well, I'll be damned…" he muttered. "With a brain like that, I'm suddenly not worried about your AP exam scores."
He scratched his forehead in confusion. "Does this mean you could actually get into Yale? Something's not right here."
"Don't tell me you didn't think I could get in before?" Li Wei shrugged. "Then why did you bother getting me that recommendation letter?"
"Okay, objectively, I thought the chances were low. But subjectively, I still had to give it my all," Don Quixote said, snapping the book shut. "Since you've saved me a ton of time, let's just get to bed early. I have to go haul bricks on the construction site tomorrow."
Before long, Don Quixote was fast asleep, and his familiar snores once again filled the room.
Then, at 2:00 AM, the snoring came to an abrupt halt.
Li Wei opened his eyes with practiced ease, pushed aside the curtain, and silently watched Don Quixote sit up stiffly. With his eyes still closed, he began to put on his armor.
"My fellow Knight," his way of addressing Li Wei had changed. "I sense it. Today is the day. We must go and drive out the Witch!"
With that, he started walking out of the basement, and Li Wei grabbed his jacket to follow.
They ended up wandering through the alleys. Don Quixote, his eyes closed, seemed to be searching for anything he could brand as a 'Witch'.
As they walked the streets, Li Wei kept his eyes and ears peeled, terrified that a prostitute might pop out from somewhere and get smacked upside the head by Don Quixote before she could even get a word out.
'Dealing with the aftermath of that would be a real pain.'
Just as he was thinking this, they rounded the corner into an alley cluttered with discarded furniture. Thanks to his 1.5 Spiritual Power, Li Wei heard the sounds before Don Quixote did.
"...Please, don't hurt me... You can have whatever money you want, just take it…"
"Hey, Kevin, this bitch's bag is full of cash. She must be loaded…"
"Fuck, you're right… Where do you live? Take us there…"
By the dim glow of a streetlamp, Li Wei could see the scene ahead—
Two skinny, masked black men in hoodies had a white woman in her early forties cornered. She was wearing a trench coat. One of the men held a switchblade, its tip just inches from her throat.
Behind the man with the knife, the other man was rummaging through her purse. There was a conspicuous bulge at his waist, which looked like a tucked-in handgun.
Li Wei heard a *DING* in his head. Another mission had been triggered.
"Knight Don Quixote is here, you hounds of darkness! Release the innocent and the weak!"
But before Li Wei could even move, Don Quixote let out a great roar. He snatched a grimy metal trash can lid from the curb to use as a shield and charged forward in his full suit of armor.