Prologue
On Dec 6 2019 I didn't wake up to my alarm or the annoying tweets of the birds, instead to the sirens of an ambulance taking my sister to the hospital.
My dad yelling up stairs to wake me up.
The loud cries of my mother.
That was the day my sister died from an asthma attack. My mom's crying had stopped, and my dad had already rushed out the door to follow the ambulance. The front door was still slightly open, letting coldair slip inside.
I stared at the empty hallway.
"She's fine," I whispered to myself.
Though I wasn't sure if I believed it.It's probably just another asthma attack.
She'd had them before. It had to be that.
Hospitals helped people. That's what they were for.
Tears streamed down my face, uncontrollably, it didn't matter how much I tried to tell myself I was fine.
There i stood all alone. No body to comfort me, while my head was all over the place.
My mom locked in her room, my dad vanished.
And yet I still had to attend school. I was confused, scared, and no one told me my sister had died that day. I went to school oblivious. I didn't even get a goodbye.
Not an "have a good day at school." Or even, "be good at school James!" Nothing. All I could do was worry. I told myself Annie was okay. "Shes okay, shes okay." I repeated over and over, untill i reached the school gates. She had to be. After all I didn't know what i'd fo without her.
The school felt louder than usual, locker doors banging, kids laughing, everything felt overwhelming. Untill I saw my boyfriend. Matt, he made me feel better anyday, no matter what i was feeling.
I held up my hand to wave to him but he ignored me. He walked into the class without an hello. I brushed it off walking into the classroom, my shoes squeaked on the tiled floors. I made direct eye contact with Matt--he looked away. "Weird." I thought.
I sat down in my usual seat by the window, my chair scraped on the floor as I pulled it out. In the corner of my eye I saw Matt, looking directly at me, he noticed I had caught him and quickly turned back to his textbook as if he had just dodged a bullet.
I tried not to focus on Matt nor Annie. I was sure they were fine, maybe it was just off day. Everyone had those.
After class I sat up from my seat grabbing my folders and headed straight for the doors. Just then I felt a tight tug on my caller.
"Fix your calor." A cold stone voice spoke from behind me. It was Matt. I was almost thrilled he was talking to me again, but that only lasted so long.
"Let's talk, now." Matt protested gentle but stern tone. My heart skipped a beat. Had i done something wrong, said something wrong?
Before I knew it i was being dragged all the way to the field. "Matt, you know we can be out here righ-" "Let's break up." Matt interrupted. "...What?" My mind filled with confusion but part of me knew this was bound to happen. "...I just." He stopped, his once cold expression faded instantly. "I just think, sometimes things don't work out." I felt the tears already coding my eyes with gloss. "What the hell do you mean, "don't work out Matt!" I said, my voice sharp. "I- it's just our time, I'm sorry."
"No you're not." I thought. I felt like i couldn't hold myself up. After everything, the secrets, the hangouts, the laughter. It was as if my ice-cream fell off the cone, and I was the last if it.
I heard him step closer. The crunch of the leaves as he came close, and closer, and closer. Untill he was at my face. I felt his embrace, the last hug before it all slipped away, I held on tight. Like I was hanging onto a cliff and at any moment I could fall. My nails dug deep into his back.
"I'm sorry." His voice quivered. He grip loosened. "Let go." He said pushing my chest away from his. I didn't budge.
"...No, you can't go " The words came out without me even thinking.
"James please."
"No, no, no!" "Please, anything but this, please don't leave me." I begged and begged. I felt my grip loosen unwillingly. I couldn't control my strength. I felt, weak.
With one last, "I'm sorry." And they wipe of his tears, he left. I watched him walk in the distance untill he was a small dot.
I dropped to my knees. I didn't understand what was happening. It was like a drea- no a nightmare. A Neverending one for sure.
And there i was again. Crying uncontrollably, alone, once more.