The masked man's heart skipped a beat, but he remained stubborn. "What condition? He eats well and sleeps well, what could possibly be wrong with him?"
Miles took a deep breath and slowly enunciated his next words: "He has hydrophobia."
Silence. A dead, suffocating silence.
The chat feed, which had just been scrolling rapidly, completely stalled for a long moment. A full three seconds passed. Then, the masked man suddenly erupted into a deafening roar of laughter.
"Hahahahaha!" He laughed so hard he leaned back, his Pikachu mask slipping askew. He clutched his stomach with one hand and pointed at the camera with the other. "Chat! Did you hear that? What did he say? He said my Squirtle... hahahaha... has hydrophobia?!"
"Oh man, I can't... I'm dying of laughter... A hydrophobic Squirtle? Why don't you say Charmander is afraid of fire? Why don't you say Pikachu is afraid of electricity? Is this what you call a 'Master'? Is this your so-called appraisal? You're just here to be a comedian, aren't you!"
Following his laughter, the livestream chat exploded once more.
[Viewer "Melon Eater": Hahahaha! Bro I'm dead! Streamer, are you serious? A Squirtle with hydrophobia? That's way too absurd!]
[Viewer "Passerby A": I'm siding with the troll on this one. This really defies common sense. How can a Water-type Pokémon be afraid of water? That makes zero sense!]
[Viewer "Proud Troll": Hahahaha! Streamer, have you run out of material? If you're going to make something up, at least make it believable! Hydrophobia... I can't believe you actually went with that!]
Faced with a screen full of mockery and doubt, Miles's expression didn't waver in the slightest. He simply watched the man laughing like a clown in silence, then cast a glance at the Squirtle cowering in the corner.
Terrified by his owner's booming laughter, the Squirtle was trembling even more violently now. He was even dry heaving, as if trying to expel something from his lungs.
"Are you done laughing?" Miles's voice was still calm, but beneath that calm lay a faint, chilling edge.
"Not even close! I could laugh about this for a year!" the masked man shouted arrogantly. "Come on, you fraud, explain it to me! How exactly is a turtle that lives in the water afraid of water? If you can actually make sense of this, I'll drink the water right out of my fish tank right now! What's wrong? Cat got your tongue? Weren't you swearing he was sick just a second ago? Can't keep up the lie anymore? Chat, spam 'Refund'!"
Spurred on by his jeering, the uninformed viewers in the livestream began to follow suit.
[Viewer "Melon Eater": Ngl, the idea of a hydrophobic Squirtle is a bit too out there. Did the streamer push too hard for content?]
[Viewer "Passerby A": Yeah, I've raised a Squirtle before too. Those things can survive as long as there's water. They aren't that fragile.]
Faced with the mounting skepticism, Miles's expression actually grew calmer. It was the calm before a storm, the pitying look a doctor gives to a patient who is beyond saving.
"What's the rush?" Miles stated plainly. His voice wasn't loud, but it carried a piercing clarity. "I'm just trying to think of how to use words you can actually understand to explain a piece of common sense that even an elementary schooler should know."
"Common sense? You're mocking me for not knowing common sense?" The masked man jumped up as if his tail had been stepped on. "To raise him properly, I read the Pokémon Breeding Guide three times cover to cover! You dare say I don't know what I'm doing?"
"Read it three times? You must have read it with your eyes closed, then." Miles scoffed, leaning back in his chair to find a more comfortable posture. He looked at the masked man with a playful gleam in his eyes. "Since you're so confident, let me ask you two questions. If I'm right, it won't be too late for you to keep arguing."
"Ask away!" the masked man snapped, stiffening his neck.
"First." Miles raised a single finger, his gaze burning as if it could pierce straight through the screen. "Does your Squirtle often display a strange behavior? Does he inexplicably stretch his neck out extremely long—so long that it looks unnatural—and open his mouth wide, as if he's trying to swallow something?"
The masked man froze. He instinctively wanted to argue, but the words caught in his throat.
Because... it was incredibly accurate!
His Squirtle really did do that frequently! Sometimes while lying on the floor, sometimes in his bed, and sometimes even halfway through a meal, he would suddenly stop. He would stretch his neck out as far as it would go and open and close his mouth, making harsh, gasping hiss-hah, hiss-hah sounds. He had always assumed the Squirtle was just acting cute, or maybe had a hairball stuck in his throat—he had even gone out of his way to feed him hairball paste.
"How... how did you know?" The masked man's tone weakened significantly. "He does have that habit, but what does that prove? Maybe he's practicing singing?"
"Singing?" Miles almost laughed out of sheer anger. "Singing my ass. Fine, keep making excuses. Second." Miles raised his second finger, delivering the killing blow. "Has your Squirtle ever used Water Gun? Has he ever even blown a basic water bubble? Even if you force him, even if you beat him, would he rather hide in his shell and take the beating than spray water?"
Boom!
Those words struck the masked man's skull like a bolt of lightning. If the first question could be brushed off as a coincidence, the second question completely exposed his greatest frustration as a pet owner over the past few months!
God only knew how much effort he had wasted trying to get this Squirtle to learn Water Gun! He had watched tutorial videos, sprayed him with a hose, and even thrown him into a pool to force him to learn... and the result? The little guy acted like a complete landlubber, doing nothing but thrashing around in the water crying for help. He couldn't even spit a mouthful of water out! Because of this, he had seriously suspected he'd bought a counterfeit Pokémon, or perhaps a Fire-type Pokémon that had merely been named 'Squirtle'.
"Holy shit..." The masked man pulled his mask halfway up, revealing a face plastered with absolute shock. Forgetting to argue, he stammered, "M-Master, did you install cameras in my house? How do you know all this?"
Seeing this, the wind in the livestream chat instantly shifted.
[Viewer "Kindergarten Lunch Thief": Holy crap?! He got it all right?! Look at the troll's face, the streamer nailed it!]
[Viewer "Henan Iron Man": Godlike! He even knew about the Water Gun issue? That's insane! Is there actually something wrong with this Squirtle?]
[Viewer "Forest Deer": I told you it was real! The Master never misses! @Proud Troll, who's the clown now?]
Miles looked at the dumbfounded masked man. There was no smugness on his face, only a profound sense of helplessness.
"I didn't install any cameras. I simply understood his pain." Miles pointed at the trembling Squirtle in the corner of the screen, his tone turning dead serious. "He isn't stretching his neck to be cute, and he certainly isn't singing. That is a survival instinct! He is desperately trying to inhale oxygen because his brain is trapped in a constant hallucination of suffocation! He doesn't use Water Gun because he isn't stupid or lazy. It's because, in his mind, water is a demon trying to steal his breath! He is resisting water, running away from it. He probably wishes he was a rock so he would never have to touch water again!"
"And the main culprit behind all of this..." Miles stared intently at the masked man, articulating every word clearly, "...is you."
"Me?!" The masked man pointed at his own nose, his face a mix of disbelief and grievance. "How could it be me? I treat him better than I treat my own father! He eats imported food, he lives in..."
"He lives in what?" Miles cut him off instantly, his gaze turning razor-sharp. "Now we're getting to the point. Come on, don't just talk about it. Show everyone. Show us this 'mansion' you're so proud of, the one you supposedly designed after reading the guide three times. If I'm not mistaken, it should be a... very 'special' aquarium, isn't it?"
Although the masked man felt a chill run down his spine, mentioning his setup brought back a sliver of his confidence.
"Fine, look! I'm not afraid of you!" He grabbed his phone and stood up, walking toward the other side of the room while still talking tough. "Let me tell you, you can question my skills, but you can't question my wallet! I spent a fortune to raise him!"
"Ta-da!"
As the camera panned, a massive, brilliantly illuminated aquarium appeared on the livestream.
Admittedly, at first glance, it was incredibly impressive. It was a full 1.5-meter-long, ultra-clear glass tank, completely transparent. Inside, fine white sand was laid out, decorated with exquisite artificial mountains and sunken driftwood. There were even several expensive Anubias plants swaying gently in the current. A blue background light shone through the water, creating a dreamy, deep-sea atmosphere. The water level was filled to the absolute brim, almost overflowing, making the entire tank look like a giant sapphire.
[Viewer "Melon Eater": Holy crap! That is a mansion! That tank has to cost at least ten grand, right?]
[Viewer "Passerby A": Bro definitely spent a bag on it. This is a top-tier environment for raising fish.]
Reading the amazed comments in the chat, the masked man lifted his chin triumphantly. "Well? Streamer? Dumbfounded? It's a fully enclosed circulation system, with a filter imported from Germany, and kept at a constant 26 degrees! With these conditions, even the Dragon King himself would give it a thumbs up!"
However, on Miles's end of the screen, his face was darkening at a visible rate. He looked as black as the bottom of a scorched pot.