"I mean… I do put in an effort to look like a guy when I go there… But, come on... I was just hiding my bust this time and no one even thought I looked slightly, not even a little bit feminine? How is that possible?! Am I THAT manly?!" sitting up, upset at how blind these gay men were when they usually are very sharp when finding their own kind made me jump out of frustration.
"Like, come on! Isn't this face girly??? I have soft features so… Is it because of my short hair and my thin body??... The light is quite dim at bars too so… Maybe that's why? They can't see clearly how feminine I actually look?? Is that it???" As I came to rationalise the possible factors I stared dumbfounded at my phone's camera, finding myself quite feminine unlike what others said, ultimately dropping it since it was a useless concern and a loss of time.
"Why am I even bothered by this? They're all gay. Even if they know I'm a girl, they have way better manners than straight men. They won't make a fuss or outcast me if they find out… Psht. This is stupid. I don't care. I won't do it again anyway."
Taking my bag I started to take out all the clothes I needed to wash since I stayed outside. Changing into my pyjamas to feel comfy since it's still the weekend, searching at last my pockets to make sure I wouldn't do the laundry with money in them.
"I'm not about to lose my money to those monkeys. Last time I lost ten dollars cause I forgot to check," grumbling at the many times my family has taken advantage of this I thrust my hand into my hoodie's pocket, hopeful to find a treasure. "Hm? Oh? Oho~? Did I actually—... Oh, a napkin… hm? It has something written on it?" I unfolded it, noticing there was something inside. "Uh? It's that guy's phone number… When did he slip it into my pocket?" Looking at it, I pondered blankly for a moment at how big the numbers were written on it. "8403937846… so this is Xavier's phone number…"
"Layna~! Come down already~ Or dad will eat all of your waffles~!"
"Gasp! No way! Dad!! Stay away from my food!" Crumpling the piece of paper, rushing because of darn food, I simply threw it into the trash can, convinced that I wouldn't meet Xavier again and that I had no use for his contact info even if I did go back to Glass of Prism.
The weekend was peaceful after that. Just as it should be.
Spending my last weekend of unemployment while making sure my silhouette was properly imprinted in my bed ought to be my greatest achievement during this year's job hunting. But that… "This ends in a few hours."
Right now it's four in the morning on Monday… The one Monday I start my new job at my dream company, in the team I wanted.
The fact that I took a year off before deciding to apply for a job there isn't only because I was scared or lazy to start being a productive adult but because I knew they weren't hiring people for the Advertisement Team which, sadly, is the one proper for my major and personal interests as a professional. The vacancies were few every time I learned they were hiring and I somehow knew I wasn't going to get in so easily.
Last time I applied wasn't really the exception. But I have a mother and, even though she's quite relaxed because of her hippie vibes, she also has this weird instinct that's almost prophetic. "I'm sure you'll get in~ Just try it out and apply for the job this time, honey dear~ if you fail, then you can always help mom at the greenhouse~"
Her tone and suggestion were nice. But I have a pollen allergy, so… It wasn't really a nice choice but a deadly threat she gave me when saying it was time to give it a try. All I can do now is thank her since I did get in as she predicted... I was quite desperate to do well in the interviews after she mentioned the greenhouse after all.
I at least won't stop breathing at twenty-three years old now... At least not because of allergies.
Anyhow, there are only a few hours left and since I slept in the whole weekend it's only now that I regret letting my sleep become messy… As it is, I'd better stay awake until I have to go, I thought while staring at the dark ceiling, I'll survive my first day with a cup of strong dark coffee and beg god to help me out and not mess it all up as soon as I say hello to my coworkers. I sat on my bed, convinced that it was my only way out. It'll be fine. I'm Layna Connor Burry... This will be a piece of cake.
"… I'd better turn the lights on, otherwise I might fall asleep without realising it,"Maybe it was anxiety that woke me up, but I knew I wouldn't get myself to sleep again without risking my future. Therefore, I started to prepare myself… Literally.
"Ugh… How was it that this goes? Was it the foundation first…? Wait, what am I even doing? I should wash my face first!" Not really sure of what to do with the makeup I barely used in my days of college, getting ready for my first day of work already felt like a hassle.
For a long time, I didn't use makeup because I had no real wish to use it, that's why I forgot how to use it properly. I did know more or less where things went and since I'm more of a tomboy, I used to do a more natural kind of makeup... I thought I would mess up the moment I forgot I had to wash my face before doing anything else, but thankfully, only the eyeliner was the actual hardship.