Me: He didn't even notice it.
Apple: He NOTICED. He just didn't say anything. Men like that don't comment on accessories. They absorb them. Process them. Weeks later they'll be lying in bed at 3 AM thinking about that damn gold bracelet and have no idea why it's stuck in their head. Trust me. I've studied this.
Me: You've studied this?
Apple: I've watched approximately nine thousand hours of dating advice on YouTube. It's basically I can obtain a PHD at this point. Okay, so let's break down the day. He looked at you. He talked to you. He wore a very expensive sweater that probably cost more than my monthly rent. This is ALL positive. This is momentum.
Me: It's one day.
Apple: One day is all it takes. One day can change everything. Ask any romantic comedy ever made. They're ALL about one day.
Me: Life isn't a romantic comedy.
Apple: Life IS a romantic comedy. You're just too busy being gloomy to realize you're the leading lady. And he's the emotionally constipated love interest who's going to have a grand gesture at the end. Probably involving running. He seems to like running.
I laughed, the sound surprising me in the quiet cabin.
Apple: There. That's the sound of me being RIGHT. You laughed. I win. Now, moving on—what's the plan for tomorrow?
Me: He ran only once App. Same thing. Workshops. Group sessions. More intense eye contact, hopefully.
Apple: As I had said Once is enough! Hopefully? G, you need to be proactive. You need to CREATE moments. You need to accidentally-on-purpose end up alone with him. Near a window. With good lighting.
Me: I'm not going to stage a romance.com moment in the middle of an academic workshop.
Apple: Why NOT? That's literally where the best romance.com moments happen. Conferences are HOTBEDS of romantic tension. All those smart people in one place, competing, debating, making intense eye contact over PowerPoint slides. It's basically foreplay for intellectuals.
Me: You have a very strange view of academia.
Apple: I have a very ACCURATE view of academia. I've watched enough lectures online to know what goes on. Now listen. Tomorrow, you wear something that makes him question his life choices. Maybe ditch the turtleneck. Show a little collarbone. Collarbones are underrated. Very elegant. Very "I am a woman of substance AND style."
Me: I'll take that under advisement.
Apple: You'll DO it. Because I'm never wrong about these things. And if he dare tries anything again—
Me: Knee in the family jewels. I remember.
Apple: THAT'S MY G. Okay, so let's talk about the subtext of today. When he looked at you, was it like—