"Poor child..."
"Mm?"
"Poor girl." ...
"Hey, you've got the wrong door. The dreams of the eggplant cutie are two blocks down."
"I am disappointed."
"Why? Isn't my art as fun as it seems? Well, I admit, it's an acquired taste. The author's writing is mediocre, not up to par."
"Ah... poor thing. Well, I won't answer."
"Is this some kind of leak about me and Mash-chan? Like, are we having a romance?"
"Mash Kyrielight... I... am disappointed in people."
"Are you kidding me."
"She! Two! Blocks! Down! Moron! You son of a bitching, underfucked berserker!"
"However, there is one chance. I will believe in this possibility."
"Damn it! I was hoping for pink dreams with Vanessa, but here... Am I a Master with a tattoo on my arm to have such dreams? Are these visions already a cliché in this series? Okay, time to wake up with a scream of 'chimichanga'."
"Chimichanga!"
Deadpool surfaced from a dream that was hard to call a dream. He understood that it was a lucid dream, but the transmission object was clearly mixed up.
"Hmm... If it's according to canon, then Mash-chan should fall with a broken head now, and all this tedious plot unfolding will begin. I wonder how they'll twist it here?" ...
Deadpool went through the details of the original in his mind, wondering what it would lead to, but fortunately or unfortunately, the expected nightmare did not happen. To figure out what to do next, he pulled out a script from somewhere with the note "Fate / Grand Deadpool Order, Act 6: Divine Round Table of Camelot, Scene #01."
"Ah, the snot-nosed kid will come running now."
As if according to the script, a breathless Ritsuka appeared in the doorway with a wild bang.
"Oh, kid. You were playing video games all night yesterday, weren't you? Why so early? Or is there something special for breakfast today?"
"Wade!"
Ritsuka's face was whiter than chalk.
Realizing that it was no time for jokes, Deadpool immediately became serious.
"Is it because of Mash?"
Ritsuka nodded, and Deadpool remembered his recent dream.
The premonition was terrible. To sort things out on the spot, he headed to the medical bay.
"You've come?" ...
Romani sat slumped in the infirmary. Pale Mash lay on the cot in front of him. On the surface, nothing critical, just sleeping.
"So, it's not April Fools' today, judging by the kid's face, it's not a cold. Will someone explain what the hell is going on here?"
Romani weakly raised his hand. His gaze was full of guilt.ion left much to be desired, didn't understand much of the terminology, but he grasped the essence: Mash wasn't an ordinary girl. However, in the age of IVF progress, it wasn't surprising.
"Mash is a Demi-Servant. You know that. But you haven't met any other Demi-Servants besides her, have you?"
"Hmm. That's true." Deadpool pondered. He hadn't seen anyone like her. Mash was one of a kind.
"In Chaldea, Mash was… just a test subject. A tool for experiments in creating Demi-Servants."
"Ah…"
At the word "test subject," Deadpool's face froze for a moment.
"What's my name?"
"No one will be around on the weekend. Try not to die on the brink of life and death there. Have a good weekend!"
"You stupid bastard! Did I ever promise your face would heal?!"
The worst memories flashed before his eyes.
Deadpool's expression slowly changed, a deep crease forming between his brows.
"Oh. So that's how it is."
Romani had a bad premonition, but it was too late to run.
Deadpool lightning-fast grabbed him by the collar, lifted him up, and slammed him against the bathroom wall.
"Thanks. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart. I never thought I'd say this to you. Thanks to you, I had a fantastic flashback to my shitty past. You son of a bitch. Another second – and I would have gone into deep offline and blown this place up, creating a bad ending." He lowered his voice:
"Calm down, readers. This isn't a setup for me turning villain. It's just a metaphor for how pissed off I am. Besides, I'm 'Grand Deadpool,' I'm above that. Anyway."
The fact that he continued to spout nonsense into the void confirmed that this was still the same Deadpool. Only his gaze, usually wild and mocking, now glowed with undisguised rage.
"Now, you're going to break down Mash-chan's biography for me, point by point, clearly and concisely. So that even I can understand it. And try to finish before I put .45 caliber lead up your ass."
Through the white slits of his red mask, a bloodlust seeped.
Romani swallowed, facing Deadpool in such a state for the first time.
"You… you know that Da Vinci was the third Servant summoned in Chaldea. So there were a first and a second. I don't know anything about the first – he was summoned before I arrived. But the second…"
Romani faltered, and Deadpool, instantly guessing who he was talking about, exhaled irritably.
"Mash, you mean. Alright, and what is this experiment with Demi-Servants? Explain the essence, keep it under a hundred words."
"It's implanting a catalyst, you know, a kind of Holy Grail, not into an object, but into a person. The essence of the experiment was to merge a Servant with a human and create a controllable being."
In other words, Project 'Demi-Servant' was launched as a way to directly control Heroic Spirits. And Mash Kyrielight became the guinea pig in this endeavor. Mash.
"And who was in charge?"
"In Chaldea, it was…"
"Aaaaaah! Shhh! Let me guess. Our poor 'former' director, right?"
"No. More precisely – her father. Marisbury Animusphere. The first director of Chaldea."
Deadpool waved his fist in the air in disappointment, like a player who missed the correct answer.
"Hmm. Well, let's say so. And how long did you torment the girl? Don't tell me about waterboarding, electrocution, beatings, or locking her in a hyperbaric chamber for two days with minimal oxygen."
"Absolutely not! I swear on my status as Chaldea's chief physician! We didn't do that!"
Of course, none of the things Deadpool listed happened to Mash. But due to failures, her magical circuits and genes had to be redone alive, and the pain was indescribably inhuman. Deadpool himself guessed this, but preferred not to voice his thoughts.
"It's just… they tried to summon a Heroic Spirit onto Mash. After a series of failures, the summoning finally succeeded, but… the Servant inside her went completely silent. Mash said he was 'disappointed.' Nevertheless, Chaldea considered it a success, and thus the 'Fate' system was created."
Romani's words awakened a recent dream in Deadpool's memory.
"I am disappointed."
It was the voice of the soul hidden inside Mash.
"I can see it in your eyes: you're wondering how I know what she went through. Didn't I tell you?"
Deadpool sharply tore off his red mask.
Beneath it was a face that looked more like a piece of raw, pockmarked meat. A side effect of the healing factor: cancer cells had metastasized throughout his body, and due to the eternal struggle between regeneration and the tumor, his skin had turned into a complete mess. He no longer looked human and, to his misfortune, had lost the ability to die.
"I was a test subject too. Cancer consumed me entirely, and my girlfriend went to great lengths to save me, but I couldn't watch her suffer… So I left her. Went to die. I knew I was getting into a dirty experiment. But look at my face! I look like rotten guacamole and worm-eaten avocado had passionate love, and then they threw up right on Canada! Damn it, I went there to die, and now I can't even die! Thanks, doc. I was just starting to forget about it, and you stirred up my shitty memories."
Enraged, Deadpool drew his pistol and pressed the barrel to Romani's temple. The click of the slide – one finger movement, and there would be nothing left of the doctor's head. Trembling with terror, Romani tried with all his might to calm him down.
"But… but with Mash, everything… everything wasn't that bad. Calm down."
"Phew… Alright. Fine! Let's end it here. Just a little more, and I'll lose it, blow this place up. Humanity is in danger, we need to save it, right? Become a hero, save the burning world, like the Avengers, you know? Damn it!"
Deadpool, out of frustration, slapped Romani hard.
The blow wasn't strong, but the doctor, pushed to his limit, fell to the floor and sobbed.
"Waaaaah! What for?! I told you everything… *sniffle*…"
"Be glad your skull wasn't blown apart by .45 caliber lead. If I were my old self, I'd break your fingers one by one and put you through an ice resurfacer at a hockey arena."
The anger subsided a bit, and Deadpool, feeling a pang of guilt for his outburst, extended his hand. Romani eyed him suspiciously, expecting a trick, but after the threat of bringing out a belt, he immediately grabbed his palm and got up.
"Alright, let's… get down to business."
"Huh? So we weren't 'down to business' until now?"
The introduction had clearly dragged on.
If you think about it, the original topic of conversation was "why Mash's improved condition is bad," not the story of her birth and the secrets of the experiments.
In the end, they talked so much unnecessary stuff that it took a huge amount of time.
"Get to the point. Quickly. It's time to finish this scene. We've already used up so many characters! The readers will get tired of sifting through this!"
Deadpool, arms crossed, hurried Romani, spouting some nonsense.
"Ahem… In short, the problem is Mash's lifespan. Since she's a test subject… oops! I mean… due to the experimental conditions, her limit is eighteen years. I met her when she was twelve, she's about sixteen now. Theoretically, she has two years left."
"Continue."
When the word "test subject" was uttered, Deadpool glared at him as if he were about to devour him alive, but quickly cooled down and told him to go on.
"And if my calculations are correct, under normal conditions, when Mash fights in Singularities as a Demi-Servant, she expends magical energy. But her Servant body… well, the load increases, and instead of mana, she starts burning her own life force. Do you understand?"
"Uh-huh," Deadpool nodded.
"So, if everything were going 'normally,' she wouldn't have two years left, but one year. Or even less than half a year."
"And?"
"And… suddenly her condition improved, and her estimated lifespan started to grow. In fact, she lost consciousness today precisely because of this: a huge surge of life force caused such a strain that she simply fell into the deepest sleep."
"Isn't this great news?" Deadpool thought. Her lifespan increased, she should be happy, dancing with joy. But Romani had a different take.
"The problem is, we don't know the reason. And that's what's frightening."
"You don't know the reason? What difference does it make! Her lifespan increased, the kid is happy, Mash is happy – everyone wins, right?"
Romani sank into thought, propping his chin on his hand. He had one guess, but no proof. And the second…
"Why are you staring at me? It's making me uncomfortable. Are you in love or something?"
"No, it can't be," the doctor managed to think.
"Doctor Roman! Your intuition isn't failing you!"
"Mamma mia!"
Suddenly, the restroom door behind Romani burst open, and Da Vinci leaped out. Startled, Romani rolled his eyes and fainted, foaming at the mouth.
"Wow, you're something else. The guy's nerves are already shot, and you knock him out."
"But that's your signature move! Quickly, take him to the infirmary!"
Finding themselves in an awkward situation, Da Vinci and Deadpool, still bickering like an old married couple, dragged the unconscious doctor to the infirmary.