Hey guys! Again, sorry for disappearing, but I should stop doing that soon since it's finally SUMMER VACATION, BABYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
I'm also going to see the Amazing Digital Circus movie the day this chapter is posted, I'll say my thoughts on it in the next chapter or in the comments if anyone wants to know.
Enjoy the show!
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I am a very petty person, no doubt about that.
In fact, I am so petty that not only do I want to win this fight against Alastor, I want to humiliate this guy in every way I can think of, so when he knocked me into this crowd of people, I already knew that it was go time. Now that everyone was here, I could finally show off just how much of a BUM this guy is.
I wasted no time, slotting in Shadow armor, Crystal Caesar and Clay Bombs for my main squeeze while having Izuru Kamakura's talent as the ultimate martial artist in the back of my mind. In just a second, I transformed into my Roaring Knight armor, rushing to Alastor while he quickly made a bunch of tentacles to try and hit me.
I swiftly avoided them, dodging some while making a few small bombs to blow a few up when I got really close to them. Eventually, when I got within close-range with Alastor, he threw up a tentacle over my eyes, attempting to block my vision. I quickly ripped it of course, but I swiftly realized that was on purpose, the minor blocking of my vision allowing him to have quickly pulled out that same angelic steel dagger he had cut my arm off with.
Instead of dodging or bocking, I elected to do something different and experiment a bit with my powers. I touched the tip of the knife with my finger, drawing a bit of blood from my finger, but in exchange, Alastor was completely frozen.
Taking inspiration from the greatest misogynist in our time, Naoya Zenin, I completely covered Alastor in crystal to restrict his movements as much as I could. It wasn't perfect, to be honest I don't think it would take much for him to just break out of it, but as a movement restrictor it was amazing.
So I socked him in the jaw, the crystals exploding off of him as he got slammed into a random store. "Sorry about the place." I said, walking in and seeing the owner cowering on the floor while Alastor got up, his smile and eyes twitching. "Hey at least you can say that that Radio Fraud Demon got his ass kicked here–" Unfortunately, it seemed like Alastor didn't take too kindly to my language, grabbing my ankle and slamming me into a wall before multiple attempted to impale me.
The attempts failed though, as I used my crystals to make myself another pair of arms, just like my favorite fraud, Ryomen Sukuna. With all of my arms combined strength, I pushed the tentacles off, getting my ankle loose and elbowing the ground, causing crystals to grow from it and attempt to hit Alastor in his stomach.
He swiftly dodged, easily breaking it with his cane and actually rushing at me, ditching his tentacles to try and hit me. I'll admit, he did have some hella good dexterity, easily combing his staff through his fingers and equipping his daggers again to try and stab me. I dodged from side to side, left to right, ducking, whatever I could. Kamakura's ultimate martial artist talent didn't cover random bullshit tentacles, but it did cover regular knife fighting. I could probably dip and dodge against a professional for hours, let alone some edgy guy trying to look tough.
I quickly redirected the knife to the wall, attempting to punch Alastor in the side and throw him out the store, however, he pulled out something unexpected. He threw a punch at me that I swiftly dodged, but right behind me was the dagger that was previously in his hand that was now attached to a tentacle.
It was too close for me to dodge, so instead of trying, I decided to try and take it head on. I threw my arm behind me, angling my arm in a way that the tip of the dagger would specifically meet only the bone of my arm. The ticket said that I had 'godly bones' or whatever, so in theory…
KRRRK
Angelic steel wouldn't hold up to a God.
The tip snapped off, leaving a half-broken dagger stained with my blood, but notably, Alastor without an actual weapon. Utilizing his shock, I opened my hand to create a small bird before punching not only it, but also Alastor directly in the kidney, the bird exploding along with my punch to send him flying out the store and down the street.
I ran out, jumping until I got to him where I saw him slowly getting up in the middle of a busy street and…
"Pffft, dude did you piss yourself?" I asked, pointing at his stained pants. I had hit him in the kidney specifically for this and even though I had Kamakura's knowledge, I didn't actually think it would work. "Grown ass man slumped over with piss in his pants, couldn't be me bro…Actually, you know what?" I looked towards the people within the cars, walking towards them and leaning to the window.
"Sorry, but I need these cars for a bit. You'll get paid back if you record this or go live on Sinstagram or something." They surprisingly get out of the car with cooperation, however I stay still for a bit. Right now, Alastor's currently getting up and is probably gonna attempt to rush me again, but instead of fighting him with fists, I'll fight him with something else.
"Y̴̢̛͕̘̹͕̻͖̼͕̳̮͌̈̇̄̇̀̅̐̄͆͜ͅơ̴̦͐̓̎̽̀̓͛̆̊͑̓ư̴̤͚̅̏͆̄́͌̀̉̈̄̚̕͝ ̵̢̫͔̻͎̟̩̱̠͖͔̪̋ͅd̶̢̞̼̦̰̘͔̺̎͗̋̏̊̄̓̓̔̕͜ȁ̷̧͖̙̜̞̳̞͉̫̼̓̄͛̾̈́m̷̨̝̟̯͉̥̠̦̟͚͓͍̿͜n̴̍̑̏̇̆͘ͅȩ̸̽̄͛͛̑̂̕̕d̵̢̨̪͓̠̯͓̦̹͙̭͎͆͒̓̑͗͛̕̚͠ ̷͇̼̥̅Ï̸̛̮̱͕͓͓̤͕͑̐͋̍͒̍͑̈́̔̇͝N̶̢̪̞͍̰̖̰͈̻̝̥͇̜̻̭̎̕G̵̨̖̰̘͕̱͙͖̍͛́̓͜͝Ŗ̸̢̪̜͈͚̺̣̙͍̟̤̞̀̓̀́̀̒͌͐͗̀̄̐Ã̶͙͇͉̬̔͂͑̈͐͠Ț̷̢͈͖͚̝͈͚̠͇̟̙̰̑͐͐E̶̛̜̭͇̿͐̇́̉̊̄̐̚!̴͚̃̀̓́̾̌̕"
"Domain expansion!"
I swiftly used my crystals to trap Alastor again, holding my fingers in the shape of Sukuna's malevolent kitchen…
CRUNCH
…Right before I kicked him in the balls.
When Alastor fell to the ground, I capitalized on his bruised ego and balls, picking up the car right beside me to slam into his face. "You don't know the first thing about fighting a dude, it's nuts or nothing out here, Al!" I yell, running before jumping up a bit, making clay birds under my feet to emulate flight.
Soon I found him again, this time on all 4's panting. He seemed to be just a teeny weeny bit pissed at me, judging by the strange green voodoo symbols that are just emanating from his body. "Hey man, I know it's hard not being able to get hard after that kick, but it's okay, I can take you to Hazbin Hotel to redeem yourself, y'know?"
Truthfully, no matter what he said I was not gonna take his ass back there and if I read this guy right, he wasn't gonna accept my offer anyway. At least that's what I was hoping as he coped and seethed on the ground and… "Bro are you crying?"
"Ą̷̨̨̛̺̪̙͙͔͚̞̪̣̭͔̼̗̥͎̺̭̘̞̖̗͎̬̯͈̋͝H̸̨̧̡̡̢̧̢̢̢̠̥͕̭̼͓͈̥̥̰̹̲̥̪̼̖͇̦̭͎͇̟̮̱͎̞͈͙̭͍̝̠͔̾̌̓̀͒́̃́͂̓̀̄͜͠ͅH̴̢̛̺̱̞͕͕̗̮̗͔͆̿̋̉͗̂͑͂͆͋̿̈́̈̀̋́̈̃̑̓̈́́͂̒̌̌̚̕̕̕͜͠͠Ḩ̸̡̢̨̢̢̯̞̲͕̫̯̺̙̮͙͓̯̜͚̣͎͈͓̝̹̜̱̝̭̟̲̰̭̪̙̰͉̳̥̱͈̎̌̿͗͐̋̈́̿̐͂̈́̒͒́̌͂̏͂̂̀͐͆̿͌̑̅̃́̎͂̌͛̌̀̀̔̓̐̈́͜͝H̸̨̪͕̺̥͖̤̙̞͓͈͇͓͎̗̦̙̪̪͈̦̖̼̯̯̣͎͈̦̽͋̎͋̽̈́́́̕͜͜͝ͅͅḦ̸̯̫̥͈̞͇̭̫́̍̏̽͒́̎̀̌͐̏̓̓̉̆̀̽̄̓̋͌̋̀͋̎̈̿̀̓͂̋́̐̕͜͜͝͠͝͠͝Ḩ̴̛̹̭͎̫̬̼͓͊́͛̾͐̾̍̃̀͆͒̌̐̐̒͋̌̓̀̈̎̕͠͝ͅḦ̶̡̢̛̘͕̩͕̣̞̘̺̼̳͈̤̫̰̦̪́̔̈́͐̅͊̀̂́̒̔́̄̂̀͂̐̎͗̓̎͒̍͊̈̊͒͑͋̔͗̓͘̕͝͝ͅḨ̵̨̨̛͍͇͓̦̩͔̠̝̤͚͇̝͕̥͎̱̬̠͈͎̳̝̂̈́̂́͑̉̅͌̈́̌̒̇͒͐͌̏̓́̉͐̅̃̒̈̍̊̋̆͒̏͗̂̎̈́̐͘̕͘̕͘͝͠͠͝H̸̨̨̡̢͈̦̟͖̰̲͓̬̮̪̜̤̻̤͔̺͖̝̣̲͙͉͎̦̲̘̖͉̱͙̐̒̿̾̒͐̆͗̓̔̚͜͝͝ͅͅͅĤ̴̨̨̟̗͓͇̬̦̞̣͎̯̦͕̮͈̘͖̞̮͇̰͖̝̻̟̰̫̔̔̀̃̃̚̚͜͠ͅḤ̵̢̢̧̨̜̺̙͍̟͎͇͍͓̱̰̜̫̘̖̰̮̞͕̘̣̪̻̭̦͙̱̺̦͎̺͚̺̮̦̬̈̔̄̾́̈́͛̀̀̀̅̿͐̔͒͛͑́̐̎̎͜ͅͅH̵̡̨̧̯̭̜̺̼͉̲̹̱̻̟̹̻͓̘̬͓̤̖͖͖̤̞̘͌͊͆̽̾̾̔̓͗̽̾̃̂͛̋̆͂̃̀̅̈̾̍͊̏̑͑̉͘̕͠H̴̨̛̞̤͖̦͍̰̻̮͖̹͖̟͓̖͇̤̙̬̘̝̭͚͈͙̆́̑̇̈̎̀̓̓͊̏͋̾̌͋̀͆̊̐̍̉̈́̔̇̕̕͜͝͝͝͠ͅ"
I don't think I got the heart to tell him that that Dragon Ball Z shit ain't working here. I'll tell you like Conquest buddy, getting angry doesn't make you stronger, you ain't no damn saiyan.
Well that's what I wanted to tell him, but I was soon proven wrong in a matter of seconds, as Alastor's body soon began growing to kaiju levels in a matter of a few seconds. I considered interrupting him with my clay bombs, but I decided against it. I wanted to fight him at his strongest and then show everybody else why he's not like that at all. He's a bum, he's a slim-reaper and most importantly, A FAKE DEMON! He's larping at being cool, he don't even got any aura!
But, if he wants to transform, I could transform as well for damn sure. Thanks to Lycan Alpha, I got a huge wolf inside me constantly, always in my guts!
…
…I'm gonna ignore what I just said and transform anyway.
Thankfully, me becoming a werewolf isn't exactly a Hulk thing with me growing too big my britches, it was just getting a little bit taller along with getting bulkier. I can transform into a literal werewolf, but somehow I AM STILL ONLY 6 FOOT EVEN! Don't get me wrong, it's tall, but I'm a WEREWOLF for God's sake, I should be like 11 feet tall, why did I only get 5 inches!?
Whatever, I could feel the power thrumming underneath my skin, my nose being able to now track scents from blocks away, my canines extending to chew better after hunts. This is cool and all, but I really hope that I don't start saying shit like me being the 'alpha' or 'sigma'. What the fuck do those words even mean?
Alastor obviously didn't care about my inner monologue however, genuinely running towards me on all fours to try and squash me. It's unnatural that someone that damn big can move that damn fast, but it doesn't matter. He slammed his hand down on me, trying to squish me into the pavement, but thanks to my transformation I was just barely strong enough to keep myself from becoming a pancake.
Using crystal caesar, I made some spikes to jam into his hand and quickly rolled away, though they didn't amount to much as Alastor simply crushed them without even a hint of pain. By now, I probably couldn't out-stat him considering he's a giant now, but I do have a plan. I'll show him just how explosive my personality is…
I'm gonna blow him up, okay?
I take inspiration from Alastor, getting on all 4's and running underneath him. It's probably because I'm half werewolf now, but this way of running feels much more natural than I thought it would be. He tried to look down and search for me, but thanks to my increased agility, I could stay within his blindspots and begin my plan.
I mass produced clay bombs as tiny birds, having them all circle right around Alastor's stomach. I just focused on quantity and didn't count them, but if I had to guess, I would say I had around 11,037 of the little things, more than enough for something big.
I soon ran back from under Alastor, him wasting no time as he bee-lined to scoop me up, squeezing me as tight as he could and bringing me up to his face.
"Ÿ̷̫̲̺́͜͜ ̷̘̳̽̉͝O̴̡̱͈̔͆ ̴̨̤̔U̸̞̮͇̹͛̇̾"
"Me?"
He grit his teeth as he glared at me with nothing but hate in his stare, his eyes looking like dials ticking down to my demise…If I wasn't about to win. Without even a second of hesitation, he put me up to his mouth in an attempt to eat me, however, with crystal caesar I managed to restrict his movements like I did earlier to grant myself a little wiggle room and get my hands out to keep his teeth from biting me.
If I didn't know any better, I'd say that this would actually be a defeat for me, but there's one thing that I know that good ol' Al here doesn't…
"Killer Queen has already touched you."
B O O M!
The explosion was almost deafening, both me and Alastor going up in a blaze of fire with only me being prepared for it. He instantly let go of me as I was launched through the air, swiftly landing on the top of a building a few blocks further if what I'm seeing is true.
I made more clay birds under my feet to help me fly over to ground zero, admiring my work. In a massive crater lies Alastor, completely defeated. His suit was burned off for the most part, the mid-section exposing his stomach that was already burnt to hell and back.
I centered myself right above him before dropping down, falling feet-first on his chest causing him to spit out some blood. "Sorry about that." I said mockingly, raising a fist to the sky while having another at my side.
[1x Platinum Ability ticket: Defeat Alastor in a fair fight and become the strongest Overlord]
"I needed a little footrest, you know? And who does it better than the strongest bum in this place?"
[1x Legendary Random Ticket: Become the first Archfiend in thousands of years]
'And the day just keeps on getting better and better. Go ahead and roll them things for me."
[Lifeblood]
|Rare Ability|
Allows you to imbue your blood with your own vitality, those who drink your vitality-infused blood will find themselves healed, the more vitality infused the higher the healing. Imbuing vitality in moderation is harmless but will leave you weakened and exhausted.
[Photon Ripper]
|Epic Item|
Calamity Mod - An incredibly high-technology chainsaw made by Dreadon out of Exo materials. This chainsaw projects dozens of hard light sharp that spin at insane speeds and can adjust its distance as needed, strong enough to shred basically anything in its path. Just a little bit of an overkill for chopping trees.
[CURSEBREAKER, CURSE OF ARMS BROKEN: 1x Random Platinum Ticket]
[Adept Massage]
|Rare Skill|
You are as skilled as a seasoned masseuse, being able to give a variety of massages that help get rid of exhaustion, recover stamina, revitalize the body and mind and even invoke sexual pleasure. Few would leave the massage bed unsatisfied.
***
***
***
"UUUUGGGGHHHH, I can't believe I'm getting called on my fuckin' off-day, can you believe this shit, Danger-tits!?"
"I can't believe it, sir."
Within the kingdom of Heaven Adam and lute walked inside of the embassy, trying to get to their boss's office. Adam was let out a large groan, snapping his fingers and generating a piece of golden paper and throwing it up in the air. Soon enough, golden light began to envelop the both of them and they were transported into a small office with their boss who was currently pacing back and forth.
She was very tall, being around 11'7 along with having dark skin and pure white clothing. She bit her nails as she continued to pace, not even acknowledging Adam or Lute's presence until they made themselves known. "Oi, Sera, fuck's got your panties in a twist, bitch?"
She quickly swiveled her head to the both of them. "The both of you, I need to tell you something." She said, taking in a deep breath while Adam and lute looked at each other with confusion."
"There's an Archfiend in hell."
"..."
"..."
"...Pffft…. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Adam laughed, genuinely slapping his knee as his mask glitched out. "Y-y'know, that's a good one, Sera. I mean, all this time I thought something crawled up your vag and died, but you can make a good fuckin' joke once in a while."
"..."
"...Holy shit, you're fucking serious."
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THE END
DUde, I'm watching Miraculous Ladybug season 6 and I'm genuinely wondering why the writing is actually good. I'm a grown-ass (BLANK)-teen man, why am I genuinely invested in Miraculous of all things, I need to get a job.
Also, when James poses at the end, think of Shigaraki standing over Endeavour as what happened.
Ok bbbbyyyyyyyeeeeee!!!